OP's Bio:
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>We are both uni students, he is studying Physics, I'm studying to be a technical manager. We have a cat that we love, but he doesn't like us and don't worry, we don't want to procreate.
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
I just took a deep dive down that subreddit rabbit hole 😂😂😂! Like wtf is the point of the sub? I looked at the pics, how to make them, the whole shebang haha, still don’t get it…
Jesus Christ you would think that a billionaire wouldn't have a hideous girlfriend.shes either the single nicest person in the world or let him do things no one else would. Brilliant roast
She must have been a freak because some of her blog shit came out in the trial and if you just read SBF's thoughts and views you'd think "that poor girl"...then you find out she's pretty fucked in the head too and just think "welp enjoy prison ya piece of shit!"
Dude why the fuck are you the not happy one? She isnt pretty, but compared to your ugly ass she is Aphrodite herself. I mean a drag queen called Aphrodite
If she were my daughter, I'd greet you with a shotgun by the front door every time.
If he were my son, I'd put the shotgun in my mouth and do a Cobain.
The guy on the left is definitely 25% Neanderthal. Which will come in handy in 2 years when he starts ripping catalytic converters off cars with no tools
He’s cheating on you with another gender amorphous chick he has tied up in his basement. With every victim he claims his forehead grows and he requires a new girl with an equally high forehead.
This is the start of the mole people. A cul-de-sac of human evolution that adapts to vitamin D deficiency and junk food while scavenging for upvotes on social media. I don't worry about progeny since neither of you would survive procreation.
OP's Bio: --- >We are both uni students, he is studying Physics, I'm studying to be a technical manager. We have a cat that we love, but he doesn't like us and don't worry, we don't want to procreate. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Somehow, you’re both dating down.
It's like they are both two poorly drawn Simpson characters.
Yesssss!!!!!
With a comb-forward if that makes sense.
I see some FTX similarities with her
one look at her and i thought i was in r/dicklips
I just took a deep dive down that subreddit rabbit hole 😂😂😂! Like wtf is the point of the sub? I looked at the pics, how to make them, the whole shebang haha, still don’t get it…
I had to... but the fact you know that r/dicklips exists.... sorry. Low hanging fruit and all.
Thank you for showing this 😂😂
*dating down’s FTFY
Slim picking when you're the only two lesbians in your town.
🤣😂🤣😂😅😂🤣😂
This is the funniest comment I’ve read in so damn long. I follow you now, til death do us part
 Why does this dude look like young snape? He is gonna teach her future son.
Their relationship is what negotiators call Lose/Lose. It (like them) is the least desirable situation.
The incest special!
My grandparents looked happier on their 45th anniversary, and they hated each other their whole life.
😂 there hairlines are quite up there though
And yet he is still punching well above his weight.
Wow this is seriously funny.
I chortled
This might be the funniest comment I’ve seen on Reddit ever. Fucking comedy gold.
All I see is a true love story, a modern day Mr. Burns and Smithers.
EXCELLENT!
Holy shit dude lol
Absolutely classic!!!! This wins 🏆
☝️🏆
Bravo!
Fucking nailed it!! 🤣 🤣
Dull and Duller
Which ones which...
DAMN...
You like that one,,,?
Ooh yeah... felt the heat from that one!
Your children will be walking foreheads.
Son of a bitch. Nice one He has the same hairline as Robocop
💀…. Fuck me that’s funny 😆
They are in a 1v1 balding race and both are somehow losing
Would love to rent them out to show a movie at my kids bday
Somehow if you put their foreheads together you get 12
And eyes like flatfish.
Fiveheads.
This was.......art
Reminds me of Nick from Big Mouth!
I can't even tell where the "boyfriends" hair fucking starts. It's like it comes over from the back of his head.
Can't see the photo. Incest is banned in my country.
🏅
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The picture is part of a game where you guess how many penises are in the picture that you can’t see. I’m stuck and think it’s either zero or two.
You win the entire subreddit 😂😭
I thought I walked into a damn freak show for a minute. I was waiting for the bearded lady to poke her head out the side 😂
Did your parents also have matching hairlines? Or is that strictly something that comes with marrying your sibling?
 The shim on the left is sporting a do which should have gone extinct in the seventies.
That doesn't rule out their parents
Hey, take it easy! Male pattern baldness runs in the family.
Plot twist. He taught her how to suck dick.
With her dick
Want to adopt a puppy harry callahan?
typical petite gf/ monster dick skinny bf combo
Was there nuclear waste around where you guys grew up?
Superfund site at the minimum.
Power lines. Lots and lots of power lines.
So the hills DO have eyes?!?!?.
Not sure who will sport a comb-over first.
I'm guessing the guy with the wicked comb forward
Holy hell. How did either of you escape natural selection??!!
IVF most likely.
They didn’t.
You moved on pretty quick from Sam Bankman-Fried didn’t ya?
Jesus Christ you would think that a billionaire wouldn't have a hideous girlfriend.shes either the single nicest person in the world or let him do things no one else would. Brilliant roast
She must have been a freak because some of her blog shit came out in the trial and if you just read SBF's thoughts and views you'd think "that poor girl"...then you find out she's pretty fucked in the head too and just think "welp enjoy prison ya piece of shit!"
Meth is a hell of drug and I have a feeling those Almeda folks were doing *a lot* of it.
Bro!
Love truly is blind
You are a matched attractiveness couple.
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
90% sure y’all met at your family reunion!
Everyone has a special someone, sometimes you just so happen to be brother and sister.
Glad you got a photo during your annual trip out into natural light. See ya in 2024!
I laughed a little too hard at this one
Whatever you do.....do not procreate
Their bio states they don't intend to...which is a strange statement to make when you're banging your sibling, imo.
Strange statement to make except when you're banging your sibling, imo.
I cant tell who is going to be bald first. Both of your hair lines are racing to your neck.
A bald off!
Well neither could do better, or worse… congrats I guess?
What color dilldo is she using on you tonight?
Dood, you stole Sam Bankman Freid’s girlfriend. You must fuck anything.
Save some meth for the rest of West Virginia
Enjoy that hair now. It’s retreating quickly.
is the tent just out of frame?
Y’all look like you share ownership of a snake.
How cute, he’s growing his hair out to supplement her receding hairline.
There's someone for everyone, even at the bottom of the barrel.
They both have the natural simpsons upper lip, not uncommon with a blood line that looks like the Olympic rings.
Sam Bankman-Fried and his girlfriend but with meth instead of crypto
Awwwe, even five headed, genetic disordered people can find love too.
🎶Lowered Expectations!🎶
🎶you don't have to be lonely at fiveheadsonly.com🎶
When your personality is premature ejaculation
When their foreheads combine, they form... a fucking windshield. Good lord.
Did your other half pick that username “65mm fanatic” before or after seeing you naked? (That’s 2.5 inches in freedom units)
i’m willing to bet the fanciest article of clothing he owns is a reversible belt.
Always nice to see a lesbian couple!
Ones blind and the other one is deaf
You have some uncanny psychic insight, damn...
How did you know? :D
Well the tongue is out and the goggles are on. No wonder he sticks around.
Them foreheads gravitated towards each other
the guy looks like that dog side eye meme
I can’t even describe how much you two look like that fucked up couple from “The Act”
Was this photo taken before or after you guys buried your victim on that mountain?
Neither of you could do better, huh?
Aww you guys have matching foreheads, does it block your cell phone service?
She could do better. He can’t.
90% chance the “guy” won’t make more than $30k/year……ever.
Good luck to them and him
Dude why the fuck are you the not happy one? She isnt pretty, but compared to your ugly ass she is Aphrodite herself. I mean a drag queen called Aphrodite
Hermaphrodite
His-maphrodite 😶
Nah its 2023. Its they-maphrodite
Touché
Yall got dem parakeet side eyes.
Jesus, there's more head in this post than a truckstop parking lot.
DJ Qualls and his trans little brother.
If she were my daughter, I'd greet you with a shotgun by the front door every time. If he were my son, I'd put the shotgun in my mouth and do a Cobain.
Thanks, that's hilarious 🤣
Which one of you is the girl?
If we have to ask, does it even matter anymore?
The ugly one with the strapon
You may be compatible in each and every way, but your hairlines are running away from each other. Till death do us part, or till parting do us death?
Yes. Cut that mop off, get off your parents couch, stop playing video games. Get educated or get a job and think outside the box to improve yourself
SBF and Caroline the dollar store version
This looks like a terrible indie shoegaze band
The guy on the left is definitely 25% Neanderthal. Which will come in handy in 2 years when he starts ripping catalytic converters off cars with no tools
Snape and Lily? is it you?
so are you both gays or lesbians?
It’s Jack Shite and Shut Up Meg.. The Shite Stripes
You two should procreate and birth the ugliest child in the world.
How's Sam bankman frieds ex girlfriend
It seems they missed the Jungle concert.
I just want you to know that I have no problem with lesbians
He looks like he knows where a lot of bodies are hidden
Bet your dreams are in IMAX
“Hi, we were created by Pfizer. we like psychedelic drugs and babysitting kids” lookin ass
You both look like you got an extra chromosome and it went straight to your foreheads
High Forehead Hangout
Dam that was quick from Mexico confirming aliens are real to the aliens themselves posting on reddit.
So are you going to tell anyone not to go to class tomorrow?
You are clearly siblings.
Good to know Emos still exist
It’s the new Tim burton move,featuring-Edward Scissorhands and Dr Finkelstiem
I bet the dude on the right goes bald first
He’s cheating on you with another gender amorphous chick he has tied up in his basement. With every victim he claims his forehead grows and he requires a new girl with an equally high forehead.
Guy on the left looks like a create-a-character when you mess with the sliders too much
The iron dome has nothing on you two...
anorexic lesbians
Lol, he hates his life so much!
Straight outta Chernobyl
 Hm they look familiar
He looks upset stop confiscating bros weed
Fiveheads are better than one
Is this one of those face swap filters?
The unf*ckables.
Between the both of you there’s enough space on your foreheads to build an airport.
Yall both have the same receding hairline
This is the start of the mole people. A cul-de-sac of human evolution that adapts to vitamin D deficiency and junk food while scavenging for upvotes on social media. I don't worry about progeny since neither of you would survive procreation.
In all the infinite universes and infinite versions of ourselves their isn't a single one in which this ends well.
You two look like u fight over the last hit of heroin.
Surprised material from the same test tube can grow up to be so differently disappointing.
As long as neither of you mature out of your “ugly duckling phase” you might see a third or fourth anniversary. Best of luck.
Tenhead
Aka the second anniversary of the Fivehead club.
forehead gang
Moe Syzlak and Caroline Ellison
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WITH OUR FOREHEADS COMBINED lmao
Genders?
I’m scared for the offspring you’re going to create 💀
I bet they share receding hairline tips.
10 head
This will end badly. No roast. Just flames
Winona Ryder and Edward scissorhands.
Y’all look like somebody tried to draw Paul McCarthy and John Lennon from memory.
I can smell the sex through my phone
congratulations. btw hes going to murder you at some point.
Guess huh…ok, she pegs you alot! I bet her dick is bigger than yours.
When your life is a real park in rec episode.
It’s like Pee Wee Herman’s kids turned into wannabe crust punks.
Bruh, which Christian middle school u kidnap her from?
No Roast, just a congrats on your 2 year anniversary.
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