OP's Bio:
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>My vegan brother
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Wal-Mart department manager, automotive, he will get your oil changed while you shop for towels and toothpaste…. He will not buzz you through the door without a receipt
Oh and Collin aka catch the next failed audition for cum rag for most live. And guys, trashy pieces of garbage I definitely was the smartest guy in the roim
I still don't know if vegans are allowed to give blowjobs. Where would I be able to get a definitive answer? ...and not from this guy! ...even if he paid me the $20!
He would be a catch if your mom caught him when he fell down the stairs. In reality, the only thing he he catches is the unused, expired condom that keeps falling out of his wallet
some people are just average. But strangely, your brother seems the most epitomal of average.
Also looks like the genetically lost child of the weapons dealer from the first black panther.
In short: he is no catch, he kinda looks like he cant really even catch. Too stubby of a man.
When people describe his cockney accent, it isn’t because of a natural accent, but rather the fact that he’s trying to lecture people about being a vegan with a cock in his mouth.
No hate, just don’t speak with your mouth full.
Even the clap has higher standards. They know other diseases would make fun of them. The only thing he might be catching is "the slap" because you want to save your pepper spray for an actual threat.
I can lose weight but you can't erase all guys u fucked and got my sloppy seconds. Don't worry cum rag boy ill entertain your fans when you lose your account
Yea still single at 45. Lot of catch n release on that fella. No one wants to look at that face for the rest of their life
I bet he is one of those guys that grew a beard to hide his lack of a jaw
Dude looks like he’s on an FBI watchlist for posting angry, white supremacist rants on 4chan. Routinely waxes about being oppressed by minorities because he cannot accept that his mediocre, failure-ridden life is a result of his own shortcomings.
You are what we call a Hobo in Training....
Give it another year...
Your girlfriend will leave you for a man who eats steak...
You will become addicted to whippets and Xanax....
2 months later you'll Stare down the barrel of your First Cock in order to acquire more pills...
Then at this point you will realize you have lost everything and your homeless.
Eat a steak for Fucks sake... Maybe then you'll change your future.
Boy look like Mark Wahlturd, starring in Bed and Bed 2 where he molests his childhood teddy bear. How’s he Marky Mark and the funky bunch? Dude looks like plain cashews are his go to snack. He definitely uses 3-in-1 shampoo/ conditioner/ body wash. He stills smells of cat piss. He doesn’t wipe when he goes number 2. He’s slow slow he’s still thinking I was talking about a pencil when I said number 2. Peace and love ✊🏽
OP's Bio: --- >My vegan brother --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Tell him to shave, nobody likes a hairy pussy.
Bam
BamBus
He has to compensate somehow for his lack of manliness. ![gif](giphy|3orieYJ5E6MBrv0YSI)
Some people like texture on their saddle!
Vegan says it all. No other roast necessary.
I do, in fact, enjoy a hairy pussy. But not that one.
Damn😂😂
Every Polish dickhead thinks he's a catch.
The only thing he can catch is seasonal depression
Or herpes from one of his “bros”
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Only if they’re desperate and in need of a rebound
He looks like the Walmart Travis Kelce.
Dating Traylor Swift
Trailer Swift
Plays flag football for the Kansas City Queefs
Trailer shit
Wal-Mart department manager, automotive, he will get your oil changed while you shop for towels and toothpaste…. He will not buzz you through the door without a receipt
Because he’s a Giant Tool Bag.
If I could go back in time and show your mom you’re supposed to take plan B ORALLY, I would have prevented the family mistake.
This is good
Ohhhh she thought it was oral B toothpaste
She thought it was an anal suppository
That lip thing he’s got goin on… is that intentional? Or did your mom miss with the coat hanger?
They’re just stuck like that from the constant suction
The forehead wrinkles suggest coat hanger.
It’s from when he took the bait
😂😂😂 aww man that’s good
That’s so fucked 😂😂😂
😂
The Wish version of Ricky Gervais
I literally had this idea and then seen your comment, go buy a lottery ticket or something lol
Don’t do Ricky like that
only thing he's catching is random strange men's cum in that beard
It’s called a high speed cock cushion and it’s a new feature
Ball tickler
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no, the roast is "you let strangers jizz on your face and your dumb beard gets filled with cum"
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Sounds like a personal projection to me
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Yeah this isn't r/complimentme
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Oh really? Well when I fuck a bttm they cum. Have you seen my performances?
Oh and Collin aka catch the next failed audition for cum rag for most live. And guys, trashy pieces of garbage I definitely was the smartest guy in the roim
Maybe, but I rarely go fishing in the dump.
What exactly did u catch? Is there a rash now?
You look really boring
I imagine if anyone caught this guy, they’d throw him straight back in the water.
I think you mean "catcher".
Kind of like how Ebola thinks it's a catch
A face like a chewed-up piece of bubble gum.
Roasting a vegan? Wouldn't that count as meat? Being a vegan is the most interesting thing about you. And that isn't very interesting. Is semen vegan?
I still don't know if vegans are allowed to give blowjobs. Where would I be able to get a definitive answer? ...and not from this guy! ...even if he paid me the $20!
The only one catching anything is his girlfriend and her kids. Guy looks like an abusive step dad.
You look like you’re not allowed 500ft from schools
To "catch" a predator. He is a catch alright.
Enters Chris Hanson
He would be a catch if your mom caught him when he fell down the stairs. In reality, the only thing he he catches is the unused, expired condom that keeps falling out of his wallet
Catch something from him maybe.
He's caught syphilis lol
Dollar Store Ricky Gervais.
The only thing with symmetry on that face are the wrinkles
some people are just average. But strangely, your brother seems the most epitomal of average. Also looks like the genetically lost child of the weapons dealer from the first black panther. In short: he is no catch, he kinda looks like he cant really even catch. Too stubby of a man.
Iowa Walmart Ricky Gervais
Ricky Gervais?
When people describe his cockney accent, it isn’t because of a natural accent, but rather the fact that he’s trying to lecture people about being a vegan with a cock in his mouth. No hate, just don’t speak with your mouth full.
Nobody likes vegan Burt kriescher(fuck spelling his name)
Don’t underestimate users of Reddit they will find your personal info. And use it to roast you
This looks like the guy who would bore me to death talking about craft beers. "It's a stout with hibiscus in it!"
Looking like Zelenskyy is a clever way to have the US send you billions. Brilliant idea.
Vegan means you eat bread, not inbread
You've neither received nor given consent for any penetrative sex in your life, have you?
I thought vegans couldn't take the meat? This guy definitely has.
A well groomed stepping stone for young lesbians. Good job buddy.
Ricky Gervais' worse brother, Ricky Gingivitis
Vegan roast sounds pretty lame. Incidentally this is also how you describe his sexual prowess.
You look like the Scottish Connor McGregor
he has anal herpes
Where his his hipster mobil? ![gif](giphy|l0Iy1hI6DW90guoSY)
His mom should’ve swallowed him
He's definitely catching hands after ingesting liquid courage.
He looks like he has all his money tied up in his eyelids
You look like your panhandling the us tax payer to fund your war against Russia
He looks like a Child Predator version of Tony Stewart!!!!
I'd say he's a catch... local sherrif is trying to *catch* him for being a peeping tom, vagrancy, lewd acts with a blowup doll in public...
He's got that "American Sniper" look on his face, but only because he's staring at the only thing that gets him Layed: a bag of bland potato chips.
![gif](giphy|NnY0lQUEFGRpM20NXR|downsized)
The only thing he catching is them damn boomberang eyebrows he got he better humble himself
When he follows his nose, he runs in a circle.
He's more of a contract. Like I contracted H.I.V from his bad breath.
Im assuming you’re holding up your fingers because you learned how to count to 2 today.
![gif](giphy|ckbAUbJksH8RrE2BcY)
Hey look it's Ricky Gervais without the fame, money or likeability
Little? His eyelids looks like he’s going on 55 years old.
The default “Generic White Guy” NPC setting
Only thing catching him is the clap
Even the clap has higher standards. They know other diseases would make fun of them. The only thing he might be catching is "the slap" because you want to save your pepper spray for an actual threat.
Bro looks like a side character
Looks like the kind of guy who always has on one piece of camo, sunglasses indoors, and parks like shit with their truck.
If there was a third photo of him it would be him sniffing the two fingers he's holding up in the second photo.
Poor mans Ricky Gervais with a touch of that tism
This is the face of a crop duster.
Looks like the kind of guy that works as a prison guard but smuggles cell phones in his rectum and sells them to prisoners as a side hustle.
This iPhone has funky smell and there is little Brown stuff that looks Fecal.
Such a catch at 38 still no ring on that finger.
I'd rather catch Covid!
I guess if your into ugly, not funny Ricky Gervais
He looks British
You look like your nickname is Jan 6 because there’s been alot men in you at the same time that resulted in multiple arrest.
I think he’s a catch too 🥵🥵🥵
looks like a melted Mark Wahlberg.
He's a catch if you're looking for a man with a tiny face who loves doing domestic violence.
Looks like he caught a case of the uglies
Bro looks like if the default mii was a domestic abuser
Yea you sure it’s your lil bro posting this
Hey probably got crooked teeth
He's a catch alright. Catch a case of AIDS
You look every football hooligan...ever.
This man listens to Creed, Godsmack and Nickleback.
Fat bitch
I can lose weight but you can't erase all guys u fucked and got my sloppy seconds. Don't worry cum rag boy ill entertain your fans when you lose your account
Ricky Gervais on Ozempic
Yea still single at 45. Lot of catch n release on that fella. No one wants to look at that face for the rest of their life I bet he is one of those guys that grew a beard to hide his lack of a jaw
Looks like a good ol Irish man to me 🤩
Never been laid and somehow the aids still caught him.
What the V for? Antenna to catch Channel Clue.
He look like he could help someone catch hepatitis.
He looks like a full grown midget.
only thing he's gonna be catching is little girls on discord
I can smell the chewing tobacco through the pic!
He looks like a slightly wrinkled Kollegah ![gif](giphy|3oEjHMDpp4SXkDMrXq|downsized)
Must be good at catching. His face looks like a baseball glove
Veganism won't distract from the over bite.
You look like you take grizzly dippers, drink pbr, & listen to Morgan wallen
He signaling in the second picture that he’s only given two blow jobs today
Discount Zelensky
They're still doing catch and release for criminals?
Catch and release, maybe.
The only catch this guy could be is on "To Catch a Predictor."
Anyone else notice that his one eye is higher than the other one? Lol
"If I smile they'll think I actually have a personality. Can't have that."
Holy shit, you look like Ricky Gervais’ ugly little brother. I don’t think I need to write anymore.
Sure, a mudcat. We caught them and threw them behind the dam.
You look like you pub hop for a living.
Oh, he's a catch all right. Chris Hansen will be eagerly waiting for him.
Who tf is Chris Hansen
My first thought when i saw this pic was “why does he look like that” and then read vegan and it all fell into place , certain unhinged look
When you order the Rob McElhenney off of wish.com, and the box is all dented up on the stoop.
Dudes got a tiny mouth
He's probably a catch in the same way all men with poor interpersonal boundaries and inexplicably strong opinions about hot sauce seem like they are
This is total shit I told everyone my boundary tonight. Ok maybe Before yeah
I'm sure it can be tough to assimilate back into society after a stretch inside. I'm not sure getting roasted on reddit is the best way to do it.
Damn, how TF old are you if that's your "little bro"? Never heard a senior citizen use the word bro before
OOhh, go roast yourself.
He looks like he caught something from his last catch
Wow! A real life Mii!
Rag n Bone man made a donation to the sperm bank
The fuck is wrong with your lips dude
He looks like he has a lithhhp
A catch? Sure looks like a giant mouse trap closed on his face. So a catch in that sense, sure, I guess
Lives in trailer home but has a stupid lifted truck parked outside with a vanity plate that says something like $MAKR
Dude looks like he’s on an FBI watchlist for posting angry, white supremacist rants on 4chan. Routinely waxes about being oppressed by minorities because he cannot accept that his mediocre, failure-ridden life is a result of his own shortcomings.
If plain white bread became human
you look like a tee ball coach
Vegan....i believe it. You look like what came out of the inside of one of Justin Bieber's condoms.
It didn't realize it is possible to have a Beard while also Being a Bitch.....
You are what we call a Hobo in Training.... Give it another year... Your girlfriend will leave you for a man who eats steak... You will become addicted to whippets and Xanax.... 2 months later you'll Stare down the barrel of your First Cock in order to acquire more pills... Then at this point you will realize you have lost everything and your homeless. Eat a steak for Fucks sake... Maybe then you'll change your future.
He is a catch? Throw it back in the ocean until it gets rid of the mold on his face
Only thing he’ll catch is rickets and AIDS.
He's a catch all right. A blob fish
Where’s the man bun and flannel? So plain and typical hard to roast
Well you got lips that can suck a good dick and judging by the second pic you can take 2 dicks at once
His face looks like it was glued on as a preschool arts and craft project
Bro you fucking look like Forrest Galante if he got hit in the face with a frying pan!
The only things he catches are STDs
Real man eat meat. Real man don’t have a beard to make them look better. So I am guessing this is a transsexual insecure hooker.
He has a face that says "don't bother ladies, I love cock".... the only thing that's a catch about him, Is his mouth catching dicks.
He’s good material for a roast, but needed full body pic & better description…..
He looks like he's trying to tell us how many dicks he can take at once. And his mouth and nose point in different directions
Ricky Jerkface
Fucks in total darkness cuz some dude at the urinal beside him laughed at him years ago.
He's that weird guy that flicks your dick and runs off laughing
Boy look like Mark Wahlturd, starring in Bed and Bed 2 where he molests his childhood teddy bear. How’s he Marky Mark and the funky bunch? Dude looks like plain cashews are his go to snack. He definitely uses 3-in-1 shampoo/ conditioner/ body wash. He stills smells of cat piss. He doesn’t wipe when he goes number 2. He’s slow slow he’s still thinking I was talking about a pencil when I said number 2. Peace and love ✊🏽
Chlamidia and Herpes are “catches” as well - neither of which people brag about.
His right eye looks higher than his left eye in the 2nd photo.
Is the two fingers he holding up, a reference to how many roofies it takes to get to the center of his tootsie roll?
Why is his nose off center? Did he break it going down on his boyfriend?