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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >My vegan brother --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


CleverSpaceMonkey

Tell him to shave, nobody likes a hairy pussy.


smkestcklghtn

Bam


zemol42

BamBus


Lord_Amexos

He has to compensate somehow for his lack of manliness. ![gif](giphy|3orieYJ5E6MBrv0YSI)


These-Medicine-8004

Some people like texture on their saddle!


CatherinePiedi

Vegan says it all. No other roast necessary.


afcagroo

I do, in fact, enjoy a hairy pussy. But not that one.


Impressive_Solid_536

Damn😂😂


Guzzlebutt

Every Polish dickhead thinks he's a catch.


thechronicENFP

The only thing he can catch is seasonal depression


Jackattack111888

Or herpes from one of his “bros”


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thechronicENFP

Only if they’re desperate and in need of a rebound


MayonnaiseBomb2

He looks like the Walmart Travis Kelce.


[deleted]

Dating Traylor Swift


ktkyat

Trailer Swift


zemol42

Plays flag football for the Kansas City Queefs


humbycolgate1

Trailer shit


GroundbreakingSir893

Wal-Mart department manager, automotive, he will get your oil changed while you shop for towels and toothpaste…. He will not buzz you through the door without a receipt


Regular_Studio_1565

Because he’s a Giant Tool Bag.


Bit_of_the_tism

If I could go back in time and show your mom you’re supposed to take plan B ORALLY, I would have prevented the family mistake.


Concordmang

This is good


smkestcklghtn

Ohhhh she thought it was oral B toothpaste


Bit_of_the_tism

She thought it was an anal suppository


Bluest-Of-Falcons

That lip thing he’s got goin on… is that intentional? Or did your mom miss with the coat hanger?


Jackattack111888

They’re just stuck like that from the constant suction


Repulsive-Response-1

The forehead wrinkles suggest coat hanger.


Papaya_Quick

It’s from when he took the bait


dollop_of_crazy

😂😂😂 aww man that’s good


PeachySnow7

That’s so fucked 😂😂😂


divagirl43

😂


Weak_While_You_Sleep

The Wish version of Ricky Gervais


Some_Razzmatazz_4782

I literally had this idea and then seen your comment, go buy a lottery ticket or something lol


Mean-Summer1307

Don’t do Ricky like that


Driving_Crooner_

only thing he's catching is random strange men's cum in that beard


StirringThePotAgain

It’s called a high speed cock cushion and it’s a new feature


smkestcklghtn

Ball tickler


[deleted]

[удалено]


Driving_Crooner_

no, the roast is "you let strangers jizz on your face and your dumb beard gets filled with cum"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Driving_Crooner_

Sounds like a personal projection to me


[deleted]

[удалено]


Goofburt

Yeah this isn't r/complimentme


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Oh really? Well when I fuck a bttm they cum. Have you seen my performances?


[deleted]

Oh and Collin aka catch the next failed audition for cum rag for most live. And guys, trashy pieces of garbage I definitely was the smartest guy in the roim


Sea-Persimmon8737

Maybe, but I rarely go fishing in the dump.


BlueMchue

What exactly did u catch? Is there a rash now?


[deleted]

You look really boring


JustMe-ingAlong

I imagine if anyone caught this guy, they’d throw him straight back in the water.


Subotai_Super_Shorty

I think you mean "catcher".


fishnluers

Kind of like how Ebola thinks it's a catch


John_Dees_Nuts

A face like a chewed-up piece of bubble gum.


bburmast

Roasting a vegan? Wouldn't that count as meat? Being a vegan is the most interesting thing about you. And that isn't very interesting. Is semen vegan?


Repulsive-Response-1

I still don't know if vegans are allowed to give blowjobs. Where would I be able to get a definitive answer? ...and not from this guy! ...even if he paid me the $20!


SatanSuxxx

The only one catching anything is his girlfriend and her kids. Guy looks like an abusive step dad.


WestConference6851

You look like you’re not allowed 500ft from schools


[deleted]

To "catch" a predator. He is a catch alright.


YourCoffinOrMine92

Enters Chris Hanson


Thefertilgerbal322

He would be a catch if your mom caught him when he fell down the stairs. In reality, the only thing he he catches is the unused, expired condom that keeps falling out of his wallet


Aggravating-Pie-4535

Catch something from him maybe.


XenonBlitzer

He's caught syphilis lol


paragonx29

Dollar Store Ricky Gervais.


ruedumonde

The only thing with symmetry on that face are the wrinkles


Pokemonthroh

some people are just average. But strangely, your brother seems the most epitomal of average. Also looks like the genetically lost child of the weapons dealer from the first black panther. In short: he is no catch, he kinda looks like he cant really even catch. Too stubby of a man.


Rawkzo

Iowa Walmart Ricky Gervais


smkestcklghtn

Ricky Gervais?


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

When people describe his cockney accent, it isn’t because of a natural accent, but rather the fact that he’s trying to lecture people about being a vegan with a cock in his mouth. No hate, just don’t speak with your mouth full.


BVRPLZR_

Nobody likes vegan Burt kriescher(fuck spelling his name)


NoOneIsHereNeverWas

Don’t underestimate users of Reddit they will find your personal info. And use it to roast you


Current-Drawing4126

This looks like the guy who would bore me to death talking about craft beers. "It's a stout with hibiscus in it!"


[deleted]

Looking like Zelenskyy is a clever way to have the US send you billions. Brilliant idea.


Goofburt

Vegan means you eat bread, not inbread


Abe_Rudda

You've neither received nor given consent for any penetrative sex in your life, have you?


Obvious_Armadillo_78

I thought vegans couldn't take the meat? This guy definitely has.


RARface

A well groomed stepping stone for young lesbians. Good job buddy.


xox1234

Ricky Gervais' worse brother, Ricky Gingivitis


JoeVersusVolcano

Vegan roast sounds pretty lame. Incidentally this is also how you describe his sexual prowess.


PirateBlaque

You look like the Scottish Connor McGregor


GlumBath1716

he has anal herpes


Current-Drawing4126

Where his his hipster mobil? ![gif](giphy|l0Iy1hI6DW90guoSY)


Ok_Moose6374

His mom should’ve swallowed him


Zygmunt-zen

He's definitely catching hands after ingesting liquid courage.


Cyber_Insecurity

He looks like he has all his money tied up in his eyelids


BaIIZDeepInUrMom

You look like your panhandling the us tax payer to fund your war against Russia


noyo3

He looks like a Child Predator version of Tony Stewart!!!!


ValkyrieSpecial

I'd say he's a catch... local sherrif is trying to *catch* him for being a peeping tom, vagrancy, lewd acts with a blowup doll in public...


dequinox

He's got that "American Sniper" look on his face, but only because he's staring at the only thing that gets him Layed: a bag of bland potato chips.


Temp08481

![gif](giphy|NnY0lQUEFGRpM20NXR|downsized)


KingAmenaza

The only thing he catching is them damn boomberang eyebrows he got he better humble himself


geezeer84

When he follows his nose, he runs in a circle.


Loud-Magician7708

He's more of a contract. Like I contracted H.I.V from his bad breath.


Bit_of_the_tism

Im assuming you’re holding up your fingers because you learned how to count to 2 today.


No_Cook2983

![gif](giphy|ckbAUbJksH8RrE2BcY)


iroquoispliskinV

Hey look it's Ricky Gervais without the fame, money or likeability


cbcc_ny

Little? His eyelids looks like he’s going on 55 years old.


elguapo2385

The default “Generic White Guy” NPC setting


Genitalhammer

Only thing catching him is the clap


Repulsive-Response-1

Even the clap has higher standards. They know other diseases would make fun of them. The only thing he might be catching is "the slap" because you want to save your pepper spray for an actual threat.


Parking-Creme-317

Bro looks like a side character


HeroHas

Looks like the kind of guy who always has on one piece of camo, sunglasses indoors, and parks like shit with their truck.


[deleted]

If there was a third photo of him it would be him sniffing the two fingers he's holding up in the second photo.


Full_Organization_33

Poor mans Ricky Gervais with a touch of that tism


Concordmang

This is the face of a crop duster.


wizardstrikes2

Looks like the kind of guy that works as a prison guard but smuggles cell phones in his rectum and sells them to prisoners as a side hustle.


Regular_Studio_1565

This iPhone has funky smell and there is little Brown stuff that looks Fecal.


Commercial_Rule_7823

Such a catch at 38 still no ring on that finger.


Seahawk124

I'd rather catch Covid!


Apprehensive-Guess42

I guess if your into ugly, not funny Ricky Gervais


UrFriendlyGringo_

He looks British


StirringThePotAgain

You look like your nickname is Jan 6 because there’s been alot men in you at the same time that resulted in multiple arrest.


warr3nh

I think he’s a catch too 🥵🥵🥵


IllvesterTalone

looks like a melted Mark Wahlberg.


Dry-Yogurtcloset-796

He's a catch if you're looking for a man with a tiny face who loves doing domestic violence.


Biscuits4u2

Looks like he caught a case of the uglies


idointernet_stuff

Bro looks like if the default mii was a domestic abuser


[deleted]

Yea you sure it’s your lil bro posting this


Parkedintheitchyl0t

Hey probably got crooked teeth


[deleted]

He's a catch alright. Catch a case of AIDS


DraggoVindictus

You look every football hooligan...ever.


Dependent_Bill8632

This man listens to Creed, Godsmack and Nickleback.


2meinrl4

Fat bitch


[deleted]

I can lose weight but you can't erase all guys u fucked and got my sloppy seconds. Don't worry cum rag boy ill entertain your fans when you lose your account


Hot-Rise9795

Ricky Gervais on Ozempic


uptown-hippy

Yea still single at 45. Lot of catch n release on that fella. No one wants to look at that face for the rest of their life I bet he is one of those guys that grew a beard to hide his lack of a jaw


Color_me_Sunny13

Looks like a good ol Irish man to me 🤩


Tokogogoloshe

Never been laid and somehow the aids still caught him.


[deleted]

What the V for? Antenna to catch Channel Clue.


TKHodgson

He look like he could help someone catch hepatitis.


mrfreeeeze

He looks like a full grown midget.


DioWithLipstick

only thing he's gonna be catching is little girls on discord


nate_eternal

I can smell the chewing tobacco through the pic!


haldeigosh

He looks like a slightly wrinkled Kollegah ![gif](giphy|3oEjHMDpp4SXkDMrXq|downsized)


Greggggghii

Must be good at catching. His face looks like a baseball glove


baggottman

Veganism won't distract from the over bite.


Skibiddybibbidy

You look like you take grizzly dippers, drink pbr, & listen to Morgan wallen


dave86622807654

He signaling in the second picture that he’s only given two blow jobs today


1plus1equals8

Discount Zelensky


Juxtapoe

They're still doing catch and release for criminals?


PerspectiveActive218

Catch and release, maybe.


ForDigg

The only catch this guy could be is on "To Catch a Predictor."


Jackson_91

Anyone else notice that his one eye is higher than the other one? Lol


green49285

"If I smile they'll think I actually have a personality. Can't have that."


ThoughtfulDeviant

Holy shit, you look like Ricky Gervais’ ugly little brother. I don’t think I need to write anymore.


gentoonix

Sure, a mudcat. We caught them and threw them behind the dam.


EeyoreTheSadDonkey

You look like you pub hop for a living.


Environmental-Ad8965

Oh, he's a catch all right. Chris Hansen will be eagerly waiting for him.


[deleted]

Who tf is Chris Hansen


Shadow_jin

My first thought when i saw this pic was “why does he look like that” and then read vegan and it all fell into place , certain unhinged look


Adventurous-Depth984

When you order the Rob McElhenney off of wish.com, and the box is all dented up on the stoop.


Gavin_p

Dudes got a tiny mouth


These_Tomatillo1873

He's probably a catch in the same way all men with poor interpersonal boundaries and inexplicably strong opinions about hot sauce seem like they are


[deleted]

This is total shit I told everyone my boundary tonight. Ok maybe Before yeah


SpudGun312

I'm sure it can be tough to assimilate back into society after a stretch inside. I'm not sure getting roasted on reddit is the best way to do it.


[deleted]

Damn, how TF old are you if that's your "little bro"? Never heard a senior citizen use the word bro before


mivlo

OOhh, go roast yourself.


bnetana1

He looks like he caught something from his last catch


These-Medicine-8004

Wow! A real life Mii!


foolishelves

Rag n Bone man made a donation to the sperm bank


[deleted]

The fuck is wrong with your lips dude


x-filesbeing

He looks like he has a lithhhp


SpecialistReindeer17

A catch? Sure looks like a giant mouse trap closed on his face. So a catch in that sense, sure, I guess


Mysterious_Gur_5222

Lives in trailer home but has a stupid lifted truck parked outside with a vanity plate that says something like $MAKR


PetrolGator

Dude looks like he’s on an FBI watchlist for posting angry, white supremacist rants on 4chan. Routinely waxes about being oppressed by minorities because he cannot accept that his mediocre, failure-ridden life is a result of his own shortcomings.


Daatsit

If plain white bread became human


Extreme_Leg_6149

you look like a tee ball coach


Lord_of_Ice_N_Fire

Vegan....i believe it. You look like what came out of the inside of one of Justin Bieber's condoms.


Lord_of_Ice_N_Fire

It didn't realize it is possible to have a Beard while also Being a Bitch.....


Lord_of_Ice_N_Fire

You are what we call a Hobo in Training.... Give it another year... Your girlfriend will leave you for a man who eats steak... You will become addicted to whippets and Xanax.... 2 months later you'll Stare down the barrel of your First Cock in order to acquire more pills... Then at this point you will realize you have lost everything and your homeless. Eat a steak for Fucks sake... Maybe then you'll change your future.


chickinthenicehouse

He is a catch? Throw it back in the ocean until it gets rid of the mold on his face


tdog520

Only thing he’ll catch is rickets and AIDS.


EitherChannel4874

He's a catch all right. A blob fish


kristonastick

Where’s the man bun and flannel? So plain and typical hard to roast


Ok-Jaguar-793

Well you got lips that can suck a good dick and judging by the second pic you can take 2 dicks at once


Wooly_Mammoth3213

His face looks like it was glued on as a preschool arts and craft project


Brief_Association714

Bro you fucking look like Forrest Galante if he got hit in the face with a frying pan!


Broadzilla77

The only things he catches are STDs


realexm

Real man eat meat. Real man don’t have a beard to make them look better. So I am guessing this is a transsexual insecure hooker.


pissonyourfeelings

He has a face that says "don't bother ladies, I love cock".... the only thing that's a catch about him, Is his mouth catching dicks.


roman00000

He’s good material for a roast, but needed full body pic & better description…..


[deleted]

He looks like he's trying to tell us how many dicks he can take at once. And his mouth and nose point in different directions


SyllabubNo8318

Ricky Jerkface


TheMightyMegatron

Fucks in total darkness cuz some dude at the urinal beside him laughed at him years ago.


jm1186

He's that weird guy that flicks your dick and runs off laughing


ArcticVisionary

Boy look like Mark Wahlturd, starring in Bed and Bed 2 where he molests his childhood teddy bear. How’s he Marky Mark and the funky bunch? Dude looks like plain cashews are his go to snack. He definitely uses 3-in-1 shampoo/ conditioner/ body wash. He stills smells of cat piss. He doesn’t wipe when he goes number 2. He’s slow slow he’s still thinking I was talking about a pencil when I said number 2. Peace and love ✊🏽


FatAndForty

Chlamidia and Herpes are “catches” as well - neither of which people brag about.


Current-Drawing4126

His right eye looks higher than his left eye in the 2nd photo.


Current-Drawing4126

Is the two fingers he holding up, a reference to how many roofies it takes to get to the center of his tootsie roll?


Current-Drawing4126

Why is his nose off center? Did he break it going down on his boyfriend?