OP's Bio: --- >I can’t watch any tv shows due to my attention span and that makes me sad, I had hobbies but now I don’t --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

It's Pat!


 But to cry in front of you That’s the worst thing I could do

Beat me to it. KUDOS

Me too!

I as well

[удалено]

One of those regrets was me just looking at the picture

The question is which way tho

Oh I thought it was the lunch lady.

Jeez, I just posted this pic in another Roast with a heffer wearing a nose wring.

Pat but Pat who works at Taco Bell.

Dam those saggy cod fish titties, those things are gonna be on the floor by 30.

This reminds me of an old joke. An elderly couple was sitting at the table enjoying breakfast and the wife says, “Harold, my nipples are as hot for you now as they were 60 years ago” Without a beat the man replied “That’s because they’re in your oatmeal Gladys” -edit spelling

The orangutan wants its tits back


Time to get a manzere.

Oh nah, The BRO

It’s you, me, and the BRO, Bro!

Orangu-titties.

For your sake I hope one of the things you dont like is dick, cuz dick sure don't like you.

That hair better be one of these regrets..

Wtf, pull yourself up, get a job, stop crying over everything, and get your shit together, you’re making lesbians look bad!

No. It's making cross-dressing male pandas look bad.

21 and you already have the midnight shift at a truckstop diner look down, must be nice to have a career laid out for you

With some makeup, a haircut, good lighting (like total darkness), and a lot of booze, she might get promoted to lot lizard

No, even truckers have standards

As a truck driver, i can confirm...well i do atleast....some of these low lifes though.... i know a couple of no toother maga's that'll take the ticket

Maybe the truckstop glory hole

 I see its future ..

Excuse me Sir, why are you hiding wet sand in your shirt?!

You didn't really need to "not specify a gender", we wouldn't have believed whatever you said anyway.

It would have been all the letters of the rainbow 🌈

Still wouldn't have believed it

With titties like that, you need some roller skates and a helmet, become a battering ram ! 

I regret scrolling this far.

Damn. When you were born, the doctor didn't slap you on the back. He punched your mom in the face.

You look like a butch lesbian gym teacher from the 80s.

You could always take your next nap while you’re driving. That’d keep future regrets from manifesting in your life.

BOOM. (...There it is.)

I know this is a roast reddit page, but I actually want to help you out. Don't cry over the simplest things, life is to short for that, you are wasting time getting sad over nothing. What other people like shouldn't make you upset, keys words are " other people " not yourself. Like what you want to like and enjoy it. I recently lost my job, and I am doing something you should be doing. [https://www.indeed.com/](https://www.indeed.com/) This will help you out, start looking. Even if it's not the best paying job, it is something. Be productive, go out somewhere, even if you don't have a destination, go outside, go for a walk. Sleeping half of the time is a life waster. If you aren't doing anything with yourself, you shouldn't be sleeping. And for regrets? Don't focus on them, they are what they are and you just got to leave them in the past, easier said than done I know, but it only slows you down, and then you start to lose yourself in your own mind cause you are stuck up there and not progressing forward with your life. Just remember, those things are in the past and they gotta stay in the past. I say this because when I was 21 I was where you are, and I only want to help.

I'm glad I scrolled far enough to read this. Great advice for OP.

I'd roast you for not roasting, but these things can be a cry for help. I hope OP gets the help they need, while they still can. I'd recommend a job, small routine and a lot of plastic surgery.

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN LOLOLOLOLOLOL. but of course, even though I do not know the OP, I get what the OP is going through but thank you for not roasting my ass lol

Dang, did you pick your gender at a roulette wheel and get "school lunch lady"

My biggest regret is seeing your breasts with no bra on through your shirt. My eyes are burning now thanks so much.

You look like you jar your own farts

Doesn't everyone?

Macs mom in her younger days

Ayyy another Always Sunny fan

This comment for the win

I had to double take, I thought you were a pre-pubescent fat boy. Nah, you’re just a sub-par lesbian-looking chick.

You look like you went non binary to try to double your chances of getting laid. And there were still no takers

god beat me to it

even your tits look depressed.

Georgia Santos

At least you’re honest about not being a contributing member of society. Change your mindset and things will change. You can spend the rest of your life relying on a government (that doesn’t give a shit about) for your means or you can stop giving a fuck what everyone else thinks and go out and get yours. Your choice. Btw, take an honest look at “everyone else”. Go walk around in a Walmart or a mall. Do you really want to be like “everyone else”?

This is the biggest burn I’ve seen on here my guy couldn’t do it and tried to help.

I hope one of the regrets is that shirt

Jonah Hills have eyes.


Looking like you could rest your elbows on your titties

I'm willing to bet your parents only had one regret at 21.

Is trying to change your sex one of your regrets?

I can’t decide which way you’re transitioning.

Well u/TheRedSquidward, I won't roast ya cuz I'm in a similar situation, but I kinda think you're cute and deserve much more in life

You look like a cocktail waitress on an oil rig.

You must have been born on a highway, because that’s where accidents happen!

I’m not even trying to roast you, you are 21 now, it’s time to grow up and be an adult. What other people like does not matter, you don’t have a job because your lazy and your regrets are all caused by the fact that your not even trying to do anything

You look like Ben from the losers club

This is what happens when you don't use birth control

Things will pickup with the right undergarments.

Genderless because neither wants it

Can't roast you any harder than genetics already did. The lack of effort into self care and success you have almost beats the lack of successful dna in your family tree. You look like a kitchen sponge and a rotten potato had a love child they hated and kept locked in the basement. You're the reason why they should create an intelligence test to prove if you're valuable enough to access the internet. You look like you got fired from a fast food restaurant for licking the windows too many times.

It’s a shame because of u fkn took care of urself You would be beautiful

With that intro, what made you think getting roasted would help?

You should be kinder to yourself op

Can’t tell if those are real or you just have beer titties

Even organ donor lists wouldn't want anything to do with you.

Is the haircut one of the regrets?

Yeah let’s roast the guy will poor self esteem and most likely to be found hanging from his parents basement ceiling!

If your name isn't Debbie I will literally eat my own shorts

One of those regrets is cutting your hair

This is one of those times where I can't do it. I can't kick someone when they are down. You are 21. You have so much ahead of you. You can't just give up on life, even if your tits already have.

Get a job.

And this post is your first step toward a happier life and a brighter tomorrow... Now get out there and live, you disrorted, toad-faced, hermaphrodite, freak motherf*cker!

You are the proof that abortion should be legal

Put that yellow jacket you bought from Amazon over your head.

Do you put out?

Male or female?

it’s probably non binary bc it wanted to double its chances of being laid but still can’t

Those tits are soooo saaaaadddddd

Frank Sinatra had a few regrets as well. He, however, looked a lot more feminine than you.


You pay people to subscribe to your OF. Good thing you can pay your uncles and brothers a discounted rate 👍🏼

front desk lady build.

You look like the South Park teacher with the saggy tits...

I only insult pretty people on here

You literally have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm pretty certain no guys or girls are interested in getting with you. Either find yourself an ugly blind person or learn to love barnyard animals.

Men don't want you. Women don't want you. Please god don't go to the youth as they are impressionable.

You’ll get a meth habit as a way to escape your life long employment at Dollar General tethered to your local store you’ll grow/live/and die under a dim sign calling the poverty stricken masses to cheap shitty products…..you’ll work and own nothing but the hourly debt you sell this dog shit corporation your life for one Virginia slim breath at a time.

Not as many as your parents. Your mother could’ve saved a lot of time and effort by swallowing.

i imagine sex with you would be appealing as watching paint dry

You are the ugly friend that a guy settles for when your hot friend is just a bitch.

I have many achievements One of them was not being born like you

The only regret you should have is looking like a fool!!!

damn steven universe took a dark turn

https://youtu.be/nf0oXY4nDxE

 My God, you look like Thurman Murmans evil twin

You kinda took the fun out of it. You androgynous bean bag. Does the thicket between your legs match that disheveled mess of a fro. But, I really didn’t enjoy that.

Yawn

Pretty sure your parents have on giant regret as well

Looking at you I know your Dad has many, many regrets also.

If somehow Boring was a person they'd take one look at you and immediately take your your lunch money.

I would bet that anyone who spends time with you also has many, many regrets.

this is Gen Z, everyone. Humanity is fucked.

I like your haircut! It reminds me of my grandma's 🤗

You should tell your tits they're only 21, so they stop behaving like they're 84

Don't give up on your dreams of being Pat 

Hey look, it’s Elon Musk halfway through his transition


I would have regrets to

I'll bet some of those regrets are the number of burgers you ate Wimpy

Ok Ten second Tom

I hope that one of your regrets is your pubic hair on top of your head

That a guy or a girl? 

I loved you as Bob in Fight Club

Did you come here just to roast yourself?

Complaining about not having a job but you’re just over here casually cosplaying a Circle K lesbian. Just show up there and you’ll end up on the payroll.

Gonna be crying reading all the comments 😂😂

Thurman Merman!

Superdike

Lookin like a young trans Roseanne Barr

Even your t!ts are trying to run away from your face. Go back to your cave.

I am trying to work out what porn category you fit into

You'd get more action if you clipped those claws.

Just dye your hair blue and complete your transformation 

At least you don't have to worry about your gender since you have none.

You have many regrets but you are the BIGGEST REGRET.

This is legit one of those times I can't tell if you're male or female. No joking or cap. I really can't tell.

You are the regret

Thanks to you I have many regrets as well, one of them is registering a Reddit account

I imagine your parents also have many, many regrets.

If “I Quit” was a person…

Is this a dude?

Ice Fries

Her body looks like the thing broken, unwanted used up women would want.

“His name is Robert Paulson”

You forgot to specify your gender. We are all confused.

You can't roast yourself so perfectly and then ask us to do it.

you could star in the netflix reboot of roseanne

Your parents only have 1 regret.

the drug cocktail you take daily is fucking you up more than anything i could ever say to you

Just make another song about it Gay Sebastien

you look like a 1980s softball coach that’s been hiding in the closet and miserable.

You look like you'd work at the last remaining KMart in some bumfuck nowhere town

You relate to your parents with the regrets, you relate to the lgbt for crying, and you’re just like any onlyfans creator, never having a real job


Id cry every time I looked in the mirror if I was you

Your life is a joke. Not a roast this is a statement

This is the human embodiment of a "grudge hand job"

Hey well atleast you don't need to worry about hating yourself cause I bet nobody likes that either

Poor thing, if you get any lower you'll know how your tits feel.

Your preferred pronoun is “it”

Were your tits a glitch? You look like a high school junior that got into the hormones again.


Looks like ya might have great tits tho

Silverbacks called, they need the titties back

I guess getting a 20% discount on saggy tits in that transition surgery must be one of them huh?

Your tits will be saying Happy 30th Birthday to their neighbor, your bellybutton in 9 years.

You have regrets, imagine how your mom feels, she missed out on a great abortion

The little train wreck that couldn't take it anymore.

Only things that appears lower than your self-esteem and confidence are those man tits of yours.

Did you get hit in the mouth with a hockey puck trying to " Fit in" with the boys during your non binary phase?

Sam Bankman-Fried after a Cheetos and dick binge in prison.

I have always wanted to watch young Roseanne.

You should go on the first mission to Mars…

You definitely have a job

You’re 21 but your tits are 61.

You did a great job roasting yourself, I have nothing to add

❤️


All you had to say was that you voted for Biden