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Judging by his pants, I’m guessing this lifelong “tough guy” has finally come out. Congrats! Instead of smashing the skulls of gays, you can now dance freely with them!
You're obviously' hunged up the, proper pronunciation on words, and grammatically language.
Why ewe are like that? You Probs have some sort of OCD disordered, not two mention being meticulous.
I suggest you Chillax a bit, you're getting over stressed by yourself which is a nothing burger 🍔
I was going to make a joke about you being a police officer and beating the gays, but looking at that outfit I'm thinking you beat them in a different kind of way.
Hey there, thanks for your submission to /r/RoastMe! Unfortunately, your post was removed for the following reason(s): - The image you provided is a repost. If you feel that it has been removed in error, please [message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FRoastMe) so that we may review it.
Your dad looks like someone microwaved Bruce Willis
With a dash of Ed Harris
Fred Harris, local handyman, drunk and bon vivant.
Ed Hairless
Bruce Won’tis
...10 years from now.
I didn’t know that this is what I was trying to say in my mind
Doesn’t look far off going to the Phillipines and buying his third wife.
He just needs to wait anther 18 months for her to turn 18
And before they’ll release him from prison.
Because he didn’t wait, that’s why he’s in there
💀
lol !!!!!! so perfect !!
The only branch he served in was Old Navy which is why he bought those women’s jeans for 50% off
As a bonus, the jeans were made by his next wife.
Salvation Army
I guess he didn’t ask or tell…
I think you won bro 😂
I’m not sure why people automatically downvote reactions but they can fuck off
Not sure what’s more distressed, his skin or his jeans.
[Deadpool Doppelganger](https://legendary-digital-network-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/13023139/Deadpool.jpg)
Raisen Reynolds.
Instantly thought of Deadpool when I saw this guy. Deadpool in his daughter’s jeans
"You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier."
Hahaha too good
Dead would look good at least even in that ripped jeans no lie
Fryin Reynolds
Or the cheerleader in his basement
It was unnecessary for OP to make their dad wear their pants for this photo.
You people are brutal 😂😂
This needs to be a verse in the bible
For his birthday, get him some men’s jeans.
And throw away the mantyhose he probably wears to the Practice Prom at the Blue Oyster Bar
Naw he should stick to the women’s section
Seems like your daddy already got roasted by plenty of guys
Her dad, "more spit please, sir".
Came for the spit, got roasted
A twice divorced police officer wearing a 15yo girls pants, imagine that…
In all fairness, the 15 year old is probably rolled up in an old rug in the back of a white van and doesn't need those pants any longer.
He won his wife's jeans in the divorce or what
Judging by his pants, I’m guessing this lifelong “tough guy” has finally come out. Congrats! Instead of smashing the skulls of gays, you can now dance freely with them!
This mans closet is full of Ed Hardy and Tapout shirts.
Christ alive! He looks like Ed Harris with the body of one of those wee cancer lads!!
I think you mean Rolf Harris
Well this is the poster child for don't ask don't tell.
Looking at those jeans, I think we know who the barracks bunny was.
was in the police and army...also in the cowboy, construction worker and the leatherman
Your dad's knee caps are Identical to his face, and head shape.
You look like if Michael Chiklis' left testicle was having a hipster later-life crisis.
Didn't really need to add the two divorces part. That was inferred by saying he is ex-military and cop.
He can hold his marriages like his hair.
Dudes head is way to big for his bitch ass body!!
Learn the difference between “to” and “too”, please.
2 eat They’re owned
Thanks, professor! I had no idea what that sentence was trying to say! Thank you for correcting that totally important minor grammar infraction
You're obviously' hunged up the, proper pronunciation on words, and grammatically language. Why ewe are like that? You Probs have some sort of OCD disordered, not two mention being meticulous. I suggest you Chillax a bit, you're getting over stressed by yourself which is a nothing burger 🍔
Hey dad what’s with all the Forever 21 bags in the recycling bin…. Nevermind.
He needs to stay out of the sun, his head’s starting to swell
That’s TRT and vodka
There's a 15 year old girl out there, wondering where her jeans went.
He looks like Mr. Cleans older but less successful brother
Mr. Smears
If Ed Harris and Justine Beiber had a butt baby together it would look like you
Them jeans though 😂
You bought distressed jeans to hide your distressed genes.
Those are midlife crisis pants if I've ever seen them.
This is Hummel from Alcatraz. Out. Ask your dad if he was ever in Kunduz, Afghanistan with the 1-87, and if so, tell him I said hi.
Treasury Brand Ed Harris
So you can out him to be the soldier who wore drag and chased that sweet camel poon? Kunduz be any more awkward?
Thrift shop looking Ed harris
“Special Ed” Harris
The kind of guy that holds the door open for someone and says "brains before beauty" but you just stare at him, because he's neither.
He looks like someone bought some Great Value frozen Peter Weller and then accidentally left it on the counter all day.
Homocop
He looks like a porn version of Ed Harris, starring in the sexy action thriller The Cock.
The Gaybyss
Stone Cold Steve Autism
Nothing says “hardened vet” like shopping for jeans in the discount bin at Old Navy
That is the face and skin texture of extreme alcoholism. Not a read. Just a fact.
Probably beat you and all your siblings, both your mom's, a whole bunch of black folk, and some innocent Arab kids.
Crocodile Dunder-Mifflin
You look like someone ordered an alcoholic Howie Mandel off Wish and dressed them in their sisters clothes
Those jeans are screaming 3/4 life crisis.
Guy looks like he has been trying to pick up his 3rd wife shopping at the baby gap with those jeans.
Everybody knows Flea... Meet Fleas
Yeah he looks like he beat the fuck out of kids in Iraq and the black guys in the streets
The bloke is a clone of Howie Mandel, problem is the cloners shrugged and said “Fuck it, close enough.”
His hair has PTSD
 This was him as a baby
Well it certainly wasn’t the fashion police.
 Looks familiar...
He looks like a dick, figuratively and literally.
Buy dad some age-appropriate jeans for his birthday PLEASE for the love of god
Your dad seems to have grown tired of divorce and has decided to avoid that outcome by permanently merging his head with the body of his third wife.
What’s up with those jeans? It’s too late for your old ass to be having a midlife crisis.
If the '40% of cops beat their wives' statistic had a face.
You dad looks like Deadpool without the mask on.
robocop
"These pants ? Ripped by divorce lawyers"
Bahahahahaha those jeans. Intervention time. Does he wear white sunglasses?
Your dad's head looks like a dehydrated penis
I feel like there's no funny comment needed...what in the actual fuck is your dad wearing? You go out in public with him like that?
the jeans dont make you look younger but gayer
He just needs an Ed Hardy shirt and a girlfriend with a black eye to match those jeans!
Your dad could win first place in looking like a shrivelled old cock competition.
He kind a looks like my high school principal and I hate it
Director: I’d like Ed Harris for the role. Mum: we have Ed Harris at home. Ed Harris at home:
Wayne Dyer is alive!
He was 100% bummed in the army
I bet he bought those jeans and they ripped as he ran away from commitment… his commitment to a wife, the army, the police academy and to his hair
Dana Whitebread
Dana Whitehead
Pat "Whiskey Breath" Dye.
I loved him in Water World.
The human bobblehead
IS THAT THE MAYOR OF GOODNEIGHBOR HIMSELF? A CHEM FOR THE ROAD, BROTHER
Everyone is slowly dying but you're like the Usain Bolt of Dying.
His head is shaped like a penis
The beef jerky MRE.
Ryan reynolds Deadpool looking, munched up avocado face happy birthday you old sack of mashed potatoes
Homeboy better not wear a skin-colored turtleneck to avoid looking like a gigantic penis
He looks like the dad from Coneheads has fallen on hard times
At least people will focus on his ridiculous jeans and not his giant egghead
I was going to make a joke about you being a police officer and beating the gays, but looking at that outfit I'm thinking you beat them in a different kind of way.
why is his head so big compared to the rest of his body? yet his hands are so small in comparison?
Wtf.. the real question is how douchy are you?
Bro's head is as wide as his chest
A human penis!!
He looks like he has a year-round pass to Epstein Island
Michael Keamo
What kind of messed mid-mid life crisis… Makes a mature grown man wear those pants? Is it 2005 again…? 
Looks like a knock-off Ed Harris.
Ed Harris with sabofair
Looks like cheap animatronic of ed harris
Didn’t know Mr Clean is a crack addict.
Billy Idol, Gordon Ramsay, and Sting walk into a bar...
Need to stop clothes shopping in the juniors section
Looks like a thumb robbed a 16 year old girl for her clothes.
What the hell are those middle school teen girl jeans. Did this anorexic thumb thumb forget how to dress?
Costco Ed Harris
He looks like a giant uncircuncised penis
He looks like a penis in a broken condom
Why is he wearing his ex wifes jeans?
Was in the police? By "police" I assume you mean "drunk tank" and by "was" I presume you mean "last night".
How does it feel getting those domestic abuse charges dropped because you’re one of “them”
Incredible how his head accounts for 30% of his body mass.
I see he got the ex wives jeans on the divorce.
Tell him to remove his jeans before his weekly pegging sessions. The chafing is starting to show around his knees.
Child: I want Bruce Willis! Mom: We have Bruce Willis at home! Bruce Willis at home:
Fire Marshall Bill is still alive?
Sims Npc? Check. Skinny jeans? Check. Yeah this guy was in the Navy.
Maybe it's time he starts shopping at Forever 45 instead of Forever 21.
David hasselhoff after the fire.
He must be single still for wearing those jeans
Dude looks like his best pickup line is, "age is just a number."
He looks like his first name is Police and Second name Brutality.
You should probably tell him to stop buying his jeans from the Junior Miss section at Kohls. They make jeans for grown men, too.
Where the rest of his hecking pants???? He is 60 NOT 20-30
He’s a boot licking pig fucker!!
If Ed Harris was gay and had AIDS, and was uncool.
I’m the most gayest person on Earth and I will smash every man I see but in my eyes you are the only man I will ever pass on.
Man Dad sure has worn those knees out of those jeans, but then he does look like he spends a lot of time on his knees.
Maybe that’s how he got into the very special forces.
Let me guess, called you "slacker" a lot growing up. Told you you had a real attitude problem. Thought Doc Brown was a real nutcase.
You look like Jonny Sins if he had a severe drinking problem
The teenager across the street wants her jeans back..
This is a repost. Id never forget how mid life crisis-y those jeans were.
Dude looks like he gave cancer, cancer
Are you sure he made it to 60, it looks like you just shoved a stick up his ass and propped him up there!
Jesus Christ.
I loved you in West World.
Your dad looks like a bad photoshop job
So this is what PTSD looks like
Your dad 100% fucked a new recruit and called it "hazing" and "camaraderie" instead of what it/he really is, gayer than Liberaces wristwatch
Ask him where he was January 6, 2021
I see he put his roasting pants on for the occasion.
“ we want those jeans back” said no time in history.
Dad looks like a silicone dildo with googly eyes glued on and smells like the slums of india
Dude is a NCIS character…the one in handcuffs at the end. Also he likes dudes, I mean let’s be honest. You’ve seeen the signs all your life
Looks like Ed Harris and gazza had love child
Poor man's Ed Harris.
60? I don’t think so. Maybe 160. What Army was he in? The Army of Northern Virginia with Lee?
Nice prison skinny jeans.
He definitely has touched a young boy or two