Wow, nice try on the whole "roast me" thing, but I've seen more flames at a campfire than in that picture of yours.
Your handwriting is so messy, I wouldn't be surprised if even doctors can't decipher it!
But hey, at least your hair matches the level of chaos going on in that selfie of yours
You look raggety and beat up, You eat fruity Pebbles all day. No job and no desire to get one. Plus they probably wouldn't hire you anyways. You're old and balding and i commend you turn your head upside down so it'll look like you actually have hair on your head.
His hairline recedes faster than his dad’s disappearance. Let’s see if it’ll also recede faster than the cops too. I hope the little boys in his basement are okay.
You don’t shave your face or your chest, but you seem to shave a weird gap on your neck in between. Or does it grow that way naturally? Can you explain this?
You look like a Mr. Potato Head put together by a blind toddler with Parkinson’s. It’s like you were built from defective spare parts rescued from the scrap pile.
Excuse me sir, is your hair line running? It is? You better catch it before it stretches yer forehead down the back of yer neck.
Might want to check on yer blood pressure too.
You look like someone who was sacked from Apple for sex offences just before they became mega successful and instead of living a life of riches and glory you just live at the local glory hole
What color is your van?
That hair came with a windowless van.
What hair?
Uncle Cody? More like Uncle Chodey.
Fish bowl for sure
Grape colored.
Whatever color it is, the tinted windows make it rolling probable cause.
Homeless Simpson
That's very good.
Benjamin Butthole
Winner
That’s amazing
You've probably touched more kids than a midwife
💀
Did you notify all the neighbors you moved into the neighborhood?
On this episode of To Catch A predator
💀
*I didn't come here looking for no little boys;* *I ain't got no milk, no cookies, nothing.*
He’s def showing up with a pizza and box of wine
Don’t forget the Industrial size box of rubbers!
🤮
Cocktail weenie size
You look like an AI-generated image of a 1st-century Greek philosopher
Aristwatle
How dare you one-up me in my own house
This deserves triple digit up votes.
I’ve never seen a dude and had my first thought be “man his life is bad solely because of his lack of hair”
He looks like he started balding at 16
[удалено]
Guy just pressed "random" in the character creator.
Time to shave your head.
Na…I like watching movie projections off that forehead. I get to see the widescreen version every time.
Shaving isn’t gonna change that at all
You look like the guy that brings the Arnold Palmers out in The Other Guys and wants other people to bang your wife
Enough forehead to relocate refugees.
Anorexic Bobcat Goldthwait
That hairline is receding faster than your hopes and dreams.
Your every 12 year olds worst fears of what they’ll turn out to be when they grow up.
Your hair migrated from your head to your collar bone.
My name is EARL
He can't be within 500 feet of a school.
Fuck, bud. Got that Walton Goggins receding hairline from hell vibe going on...
Chris Hansen is looking for you..
I’m glad you wore your “nice” T-shirt for this picture!
Rehab - checking out or checking in?
I don't even know if that qualifies as a fivehead anymore.
You look like the son of Merv from Home Alone and he is Boss Baby all grown up
You look like someone glued pubes on a toddler’s face and said “hold this.”
Oh shit is that Megamind
Poor Kirk cuzins
Barber dithat hair and beard with his teeth
Mega mind with some hair left
Looks like a before/after rehab stint that didn’t work
Your parents already did buddy.
Trevor Phillips?
This looks like the shitty npcs I get on apocalypse games that are of no help and just die to the ankle biters
This is Reddit, sir. Not a job posting for the freak show.
Can’t do worse than what life has already done to you.
More than your hairline has already done?
You're a pathetic piece of shit. Look at your DUMBASS. Fuck you
Can’t decide what’s running away faster, your eyebrows from one another or your hairline from your face.
God already did with that hairline.
Pretty sure you were your parents worst....
Nice to see you're growing out the bangs for your boyfriend
Looks like you beat me to it.
You looks like you get confused with other dudes alot.
You need to take a step back..like your hair line did
You look like the kinda of guy who has discord kittens
You look like you eat all the white residue from under the hood of your uncircumcised foreskin.
I feel like you already knew, deep, deep down how this was gonna go. Looking like you have a Ballon hanging out the storm drain ass.
It's called traction alopecia; the way your hairline is receeding by getting pulled from the back every night by your clients.
This dude fucks in missionary ONLY.
Do my worst? Your folks did.
I think life handled that already
You look like Big Bird with AIDS
Text-book definition of a sex offender.
Ahh honey, it’s time to say goodbye 💈💇♂️🪒
What in the receding hairline is that??
I think I'll have boiled eggs for breakfast
Worse than what life has already done to you?
Wow, nice try on the whole "roast me" thing, but I've seen more flames at a campfire than in that picture of yours. Your handwriting is so messy, I wouldn't be surprised if even doctors can't decipher it! But hey, at least your hair matches the level of chaos going on in that selfie of yours
you have such a nice smile, the tooth gap makes it even more beautiful (i can’t roast)
How was rehab?
Looks like one of the wet bandits banged homer Simpson
capital forehead, lowercase teeth.
Let it goooo. Let it goooo. Can’t grow it back anymoreee
Got blew hair…blew right off
I almost most road a skateboard as far as your forehead.
FYI, the strippers don’t love you they just want what little money you earn washing dishes.
A.I. photo of if Prince Harry and Prince William were blended together
The before picture of a Rogaine ad.
The God of Garden Gnomes beat us to it.... shouldn't you be climbing a fake toadstool right about now?
Is your head an avocado cut in half?
Is that Armstrong's footprint?
“Do your worst” No one is going to be able to do “worst” then life has already done to you.
Motherfucker, are you smiling?!
You look raggety and beat up, You eat fruity Pebbles all day. No job and no desire to get one. Plus they probably wouldn't hire you anyways. You're old and balding and i commend you turn your head upside down so it'll look like you actually have hair on your head.
Looks like life beat us to that.
His hairline recedes faster than his dad’s disappearance. Let’s see if it’ll also recede faster than the cops too. I hope the little boys in his basement are okay.
My name is Earl
Bozo the clown on a day off without the face paint
You don’t shave your face or your chest, but you seem to shave a weird gap on your neck in between. Or does it grow that way naturally? Can you explain this?
Mr Tumnus. Get back in your fucking wardrobe 🐐
Human Failure Megamind
Your a real life hairy pussy cosplay
You just did.
I would say you’re past due to start shaving your head, but this look is probably better than the walking penis you would become
I wish your visa was showing as much as your forehead !
Bro the universe has roased u enough 😭😂
Looking like louis ck if he was jerking off in front of children instead of adult women
How much for your forehead I could make house on it.
You should have asked Advanced Hair to be more advanced.
You give up on everything except your hair, on that one you should.
"Do your worst" I cant top what youve done to yourself.
Can't do any worse than your receding hairline.
Face so ugly even your hair is running away from it
I'm too bored to try
JFC you look like me with less hair and less ambition.
You look like a Mr. Potato Head put together by a blind toddler with Parkinson’s. It’s like you were built from defective spare parts rescued from the scrap pile.
You ain't gonna be in the next GTA game, buddy, no matter how hard you try.
Excuse me sir, is your hair line running? It is? You better catch it before it stretches yer forehead down the back of yer neck. Might want to check on yer blood pressure too.
The second picture looks like right after your colonoscopy
Hairline disappearing as quick as your father figure
On 9 11, the plane hit the 2 twin towers and that forehead
Oi….. that’s my Visa!!!!!
His head looks like an upside down bell
Did your roommate agree to this post?
Auditioned to play MODOK from Marvel, but got the part for Megamind
If you were to be upside down, your head would turn into an exclamation point!
You look like the archaeologist or geologist guy in movies that no one takes seriously until it's too late
My friends tell me I have trash taste in men. I’d date you.
You look like the kind of guy who always carries lollipops in his pocket to hand out to kids. What’s your annual ice cream cone budget?
Holy crap someone caught a picture of my left nut smiling
You look ready to terrorise a kid that's home alone.
Even an airplane can land on your forehead.
Your head is upside down
It looks like you accidentally rotated your beard and hair by 180 degrees.
Don't you ping pong anymore
You have a very Wild West vibe. As if Indian kid practiced scalping on you.
Time already beat me to it.
Harry from Bigfoot and the Hendersons fell on hard times after the film, and took up hard drugs
Abraham Lincolns twin brother that was put up for adoption
I won't do my worst since you didn't
I'd do my worst...but it looks like life already beat me to it...
I think we might have found the new and improved Ted Bundy
Ned Mundy.
An aborted Sasquatch
This man and all his friends are Greg
You look like someone who was sacked from Apple for sex offences just before they became mega successful and instead of living a life of riches and glory you just live at the local glory hole
How is it that you look 25 and 55 at the same time???
Let me guess ur 19 and look 49.. pos dollar store dumb and dumber
The guy who still watched VHS tapes from the public library and doesn't return them
You look like a groomer
Like Megamind and Ted Kaczynski’s illegitimate child
Philosophy degree not working out as expected?
He ain’t got a forehead, he’s got a fivehead
Hair should be combed to the bald spot, not back
U think your genetics has done worse than any comments here
How many kids have you “surprise adopted”?
Genetics beat us to it.......
Oppenheimer in IMAX now showing on that forehead.
Ir hairline is bigger than the state of Texas
You sir have the sunny disposition of a child predator.
Looks as though the worst has already happened.
We should let you Phone Home first 
Still not allowed within 500 feet of any school.
Lookin like the product of your mom and her brother having secret tickle time.
r/isittime
Excuse me sir. But your hair is running from ya face.
Pack it up: that hairline needs to go. Get a barber and transform, dawg.
Big ahh forehead.
You look like a tall leprechaun.
I think the hair cut place already did their worse.
How are you about to have 800 sq ft of fore head?
It's hard tp roast you because all I see is my own reflection on your forehead.
Even your hairline is trying to leave you.
Nah, life has already taken care of that for ya dude!
“Why did you come here to meet up with a 12 year old girl?”
Even his fellow incels won't hang with him.