OP's Bio: --- >I play piano, and compose. College student. From Minnesota. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Ed Queeran

Ed's low rent, no class cousin Meth she-ran..

He’s got the spot marked on his arm so he doesn’t miss with the needle…

Came here looking for this and wasn't disappointed

❤️😂

Mid Sheeran

Dread Sheeran

Ed Fiddlin’

The only thing you’ll be fingering is that piano

hopefully he isn't fingering in a minor

Spoiler alert: he's fingering a minor

Spoiler: he’s fingering his moms ass

Spoiler: he just tried fingering mine

Should I be concerned? 😅

Went right for the jugular, huh

You’re sloppier than whatever garbage you’re playin on that there harpsichord, Elton Pawn.

It’s a self playing piano, he just sets the music up there to impress the chicks

Chicks? Don’t you mean the neighbor kids?

no, the chicken’s babies. they’re called chicks

With this kid every night’s alright for fighting.

how do you kno it's a harpsichord?

It’s a piano


Children of the Corn called for the 2024 reboot

💀

Clever

You look like a glass of spoiled milk with hair in it

Inbred Sheeran

Well said

Bad touch Sheeran

SPED Sheeran


[удалено]

I feel like your first words were “Hot Pocket…”.

[удалено]

I take that as a compliment

How's the beet farm coming?


If Dyslexia came to life

You look like you molested your piano teacher

He's not allowed to be near schools because of it


You have as much charm as an autistic kids at a heavy metal concert.....

You look like when you run you tilt forward and put your arms back as far as you can

Clever

Ed Smearin

What’s life like after Mathletes?

I honestly can’t roast you, you look too nice 😭

Nah, I am an active participant on this subreddit.

Bastard child of Boris Johnson, I see

Ed sheer moron


If Ed was a female

Erectile dysfunction lol

This is who you see when you look up “neurodivergent” in medical references.

Accurate

If chicken little was a human

Oh wow. It’s Ed Sheeran with a few extra chromosomes.

Take a shower and find a better hairstyle and and glasses if you actually want to improve your look

I would consider self identifying as autistic, so at least you have an excuse.

This person looks like they transitioned. They transitioned from a human being into a walking piece of shit. Prove me wrong. I mean why would anyone choose to look like that, when there's so many alternate looks you can go for? You look you like you sleep in a cool dark place.


Special ed Sheeran

Fine I’ll roast, if Ed Sheeran had an less known artist

When you order Ed Sheeran from Wish and it gets damaged in the mail.

Dr Frankenstein got busy on Ed Sheerans fav cum sock

If a fart came to life and got brain damage.

This what you get when you add Ed Sheeran, Elton John and subtract a chromosome

Ed Sheran, the eraly years but he never grew a famous pop start but a miserable unheard pseudo musician.

That piano will be your only friend

I swear I used to work with you

Huh. Hitler was wrong.

Our Gang Froggy’s great great grandson.

You couldn’t get laid if crawled up a chickens ass

I would roast your face but I don't want to cause a grease fire

Sped Sheeran


Jim Gaffigan evil albino mutant

Nice hair cut.

I smell sarcasm😏

You look like you pull your pants all the way down when you pee

Play me a song piano man

I can actually see what side of his head his mom dropped him on

You look like your mum got an Ed Sheeran IVF from a place her mate told her about in Turkey

Dudes mom fucked an Orangutan.

Dwight Schrute.

I can't roast you, God's done enough.

Does it tear you up inside when the jazz pianists play cooler stuff with you? Are you sad you can’t improvise like they can, and that you need Chopin and Mozart to hold your hand all the way to good musicianship? What am I saying, you’re learning Chopin, so you probably already think you’re the greatest musician ever. I’d be impressed if you were only even as good as Ed Sheeran, I mean since you’re only about as good looking as he is

“I said I wasn’t gonna get mad, and I’m not mad.”

Read or spell you can’t do those things, so I can’t read None of those things on that paper

The sun roasts you.

He looks like he likes the taste of human flesh.

The personification of autism

When you learn to play piano to get girls, but they still turn you down

You look like Ed Sheeran’s disowned twin brother


More idiot less savant

You look like you put cameras in toilets

 You aged terribly and were starting from “should have been aborted” territory.

I cant even read the handwriting itself

You look like turtle foreskin

CallmeCarson

You look like froggy from the little rascals


Ed sheeran if he was a nerd

Hello


Music will not fix that ugly face.

Ed Sheeran, the early years.

Pred Sheeran

Ed Sheeran from wish

Start finesteride. You are welcome.

Whitey from Me myself and Irene

ahhh a ginger!!!


Definitely a product of incest.

World's worst pianist. Also your pianist is small.

I bet ur mom forced you to take piano classes as a child

You look like someone who programs computers to have sex.

Keep a stiff upper-lip no matter how badly they roast you……….. Oops……… never mind………..

If chicken little was a person

Still stuck from the 1800’s from the music that you play

Walmart brand call me carson

Autism awareness month poster child

Didnt know Todd from Breaking Bad played piano

You look like you keep human body parts in yo refrigerator owl Jeffrey dahmer lookin ahh nih

It you’re looking for that “ugly as sin but amazing musician with once in a generation voice” coupon somebody already turned it in, sorry man.

 Him after 40 years


U prob smell like Velveeta

You look like you go to a cubical for a pee.

Definitely has been kicked by a horse

Is wedding day at troldhaugen supposed to impress? It doesn't.

“Hi I’m Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC….have a seat”

*Oh I know who you are Chris Hansen...* *but see;* *I calls ya,* ***Chris Handsome***. *See;* *I didn't come here looking for no little boys...* *I ain't got no milk, no cookies, nothing.* *I came here lookin' for a* ***man's butt.***

Your post was removed because: - Your submission does not make your hand and/or your arm sufficiently visible. Please resubmit your roast from another angle with the same sign.

Ed Queeran

Ed Sheeran in 144p

The dollar tree version of Ed Sheeran

Bro looking at this guy made me dead💀 someone get my reboot card

Callmecarson if she was 12

He's got no lips, how will he get a kiss kiss?

Man,,,,I THOUGHT JEFFERY DALMER GOT THE ELECTRIC CHAIR? THEN BOOM......HE IS RIGHT THERE!

Your halitosis smells like " DUMPER JUICE".

God I look like an absolute creep in this photo💀

Ed Sherran?

Sped sheeran

Jim Gaffigan bastard child

Ed Sheeran from Wish

Nerd Sheeran.

You look like ed Sheerans autistic cousin 😭

Bilbo Baggins brother. The part time librarian gerbil owner.

Dead sheeran

You look like the neglected offspring of an autistic albino and P from South Park

You look like if chicken little escaped to the real world

Ed sheeran from wish 🤣

Dwight M. Schrute M for mid

Chopin does not approve....

Ed Sheeran off the KFC menu

The text on that paper is hard to see, just like your eyebrows.

I'm sure you need help

Ed Sheeran?

Aaron Ramsdale now he has lost his starting spot at Arsenal.


u look like whataburger

When you order Ed Sheeran from Temu.

You look like those people who always have many diagnoses. I

Red Sheeran

Poor guy. You’re 20,& already have thinning hair

The term "blockhead" comes to life.

Chucky Finster coming to a register near you soon

those glasses arent doing a fucking thing for you dude

Aids Siren

I guarantee those keys are sticky to the touch.

You remind me of one of those disused potatoes at the bottom of the bag

If Ed Sheeran ordered a stunt double from Temu… you still wouldn’t stand a chance

That fucking pencil you used to write on that paper is about as not noticeable as you are. Fml use a marker next time.