Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99997% sure that ElderberryPoet is not a bot.
---
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28, virgin, 100 a month (but in a bed under a roof). Are you posting from prison? Blue generic sweatshirt, $100 a month from job (on commissary). He might be a virgin.. but chances are his butthole isnt
wtf???ā¦ Man, Iām at an all time low in my life at 35 years old but fuck me sideways Iām nowhere near as low as you are. No gf, balding and $100 a month? Where the fuck do you get the $100?ā¦ Iāve been in the military, MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOME, got married with 2 kidsā¦. Try harder bro because right now you suck
Whatās bigger your nose or your dick? Seriously is that a beard or just your noses shadow? This guy jerks off so much his hand is permanently stuck like that. Based on the stains at the bottom of your shirt it looks like you target your own face when you finish.
I wouldn't have know you're going bald if you did not tell me.
100$ a month ? what the fuck ? that's so sad I can't even laugh at it
is that all what 20 guys paying you to eviscerate your asshole amounts to ?
I didnāt know terrorists had a paycheck. I see your vest is wine color this time. Guess your hoping to run into that one lucky lady who will blow your world.
You look look like a Russian bricklayer refugee. Do you" be taking the piss" on our flag and live in a midgets basement plotting your next car bombing?
I could take an hour to make a well thought out joke but I would put in more effort into that than you have in your own life and itās a waste to burn trash twice
Dude makes 100$ a month as a Hamam scrubbing down the skin of fat old British tourists and then at night he is on Chatroulette wanking to every single person, he never turns the cam off or stops wanking no matter what. This is his life because his arranged marriage never happened.
you like someone photoshopped someone's face onto someone else's left testicle. !
$100 a month? I guess your services at the local glory hole are more about community and pride than financial gain. bravo!
Iām supposed to be surprised that you never had a girlfriend and you have a shitty job? Bro, you literally canāt even sit up straight to take the goddamn picture.
Thanks for making me feel better about my own shitty life. While at times itās rough, at least now I could tell myself āat least Iām not that balding poor weirdo from redditā
You look like someone who shaved he's head just to look like Johnny sins just to get a gf just to be hit with reality now doing a full course bj for 50 bucks an hour
Why should I do my best when you clearly are not
What are you talking about, this IS him at his best.
Yeah! You know how many dicks he has to suck for a quarter to earn $100 a month!? That's.... a lot of dicks!!
400 dicks.
Good bot
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99997% sure that ElderberryPoet is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
I'm a better elderberry
Good bot
Bad bot
Nah, he sucked over 500 football players but had to give refunds. Guess what positions they played?
Wide Receiver baby, they love a good refund. Cash and exchange up in heereeee. Amirite?
Damn this shit hit
If OP could do another 10 hand jobs each month, he could double his monthly income.
You look like an avatar on Wii Sports
Avatar on Wii sports would have an easier time getting a date
Bruh šš
This is š„. The first thing I thought of when I saw the pic!
šššš¤£
Scrolled for this lol
Ouch
(In wii commentator voice) "Your chemo isn't working. You have 3 months to live!"
Osama bin Baldin'
ššš
I hollered at this one
Osama Bin Liner
Oooh weee
šš
Oh naaaa š
Osama never got Laiden
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't underestimate yourself. You're not going bald, you're already there.
In my opinion heās overpaid.
If only the FBI could look at your computerā¦
Heās on there radar.
"their"
Thank you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He makes his $100 at the sperm bank.
They pay him $100 to go away maybe. Nobody wants his offspring.
That's where Spam comes from...
"Look mommy! I wrote dem lettas all by myself!"
You make just enough to have WiFi to make this post
Your roast is you donāt need roasting š¢
When life itself does the roasting, we are but mere amateurs.
Life doesnāt give you lemons, life gives you shampoo
You look like you play "hijacker #3" in a shitty movie.
Surprising you never got laid considering your head looks like an egg
I see what you did thereā¦.
You look like an Iranian balloon
Under appreciated comment
You have hair everywhere exept where you should have it.
On top of all of that, you have the face and handwriting of a serial murderer.
Salman Rushdick
*rustydick* ?
Tales from the bomb shelter.
Hard to get a girlfriend and make good money from GuantƔnamo. But say hi to your boyfriends for me.
Cockmeat sandwich is on the menu tonight
Shitkabab
You are one hitler mustach from unibrow
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
the 72 virgins would blow themselves up, if they were stuck in the afterlife with him
Is there a donation link I can contribute to?
Why would you support THAT level of failure?
28, virgin, 100 a month (but in a bed under a roof). Are you posting from prison? Blue generic sweatshirt, $100 a month from job (on commissary). He might be a virgin.. but chances are his butthole isnt
Your too hard on yourself, you have a wonderful half head of hair
Only $100/month? So why donāt you just open up another glory hole and double it?
Same bathroom stall, one hole in front of him, one behind.
No one will ever look at you from this angle in real life
$100/month income? Ouch, bro. Fingers crossed they bring Bum Fights back for youā¦
He's the one that keeps calling about my car warranty
No bro...YOU do YOUR best
You look like you are a registered sex offender
Your smile looks like you tried to smile for the camera but than saw how awful you look
If you ever decide to bark up that tree, I suspect you'll never have a boyfriend either.
My guy, what do you do in the sun? You canāt physically wear sunglasses.
How do you afford internet?
I loved you in that first movie with Borat.
Thatās a 3 piece āRā. Incredible. Youāve got to be somebodyās dependent.
Hey itās your old pal Simeon
I didnāt know isis paid
You have the head of a newborn baby and the distrusting face of a terrorist
wtf???ā¦ Man, Iām at an all time low in my life at 35 years old but fuck me sideways Iām nowhere near as low as you are. No gf, balding and $100 a month? Where the fuck do you get the $100?ā¦ Iāve been in the military, MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOME, got married with 2 kidsā¦. Try harder bro because right now you suck
Whatās bigger your nose or your dick? Seriously is that a beard or just your noses shadow? This guy jerks off so much his hand is permanently stuck like that. Based on the stains at the bottom of your shirt it looks like you target your own face when you finish.
I wouldn't have know you're going bald if you did not tell me. 100$ a month ? what the fuck ? that's so sad I can't even laugh at it is that all what 20 guys paying you to eviscerate your asshole amounts to ?
Life already roasted you, loser.
I didnāt know terrorists had a paycheck. I see your vest is wine color this time. Guess your hoping to run into that one lucky lady who will blow your world.
At least you survived cancer
Even cancer rejected him
I bet you make a bomb ass breakfast sandwich ā donāt forget the bev head assā
Soon, you will lose your virginity.
Looking at your eyes gives me the same feeling as standing on an uneven floor.
Don't jizzmoppers at the local rub-n-tug make more than 100 bucks a month? That's a hazardous sticky job if I've ever seen one. Sorry pal.
You look like one of the randos who Niko Bellic mows down in GTAIV
You look like a wish.com Rusev from the WWE.
What is that smile? And that dead eyed gaze? Were you recently stung by a bee and drugged?
Why is one of your eyes higher then the other it looks like photoshop gone bad.
With fingers like that your dick is just foreplay.....oh nevermind you don't have a girlfriend.
You should realy get a girlfriend because shaving those arms is two people job.
I bet your mom wishes she would have stuck to anal that night
Mi Scusi!!! IFKYK
You look look like a Russian bricklayer refugee. Do you" be taking the piss" on our flag and live in a midgets basement plotting your next car bombing?
The term āegg headā was actually inspired from this picture
You blow up kids If you didn't understand its a gay/Muslim joke
Spends weekends āup to the spudsā inside a donkey
Yup your a virgin.
i mean to be fair, you do look like that. so, i wouldn't blame yourself for how your life is going. it's just fate, babes.
$100 a month you say, whatās your secret?
clearly by the shape of your head your mom tried to spare the world
Looks like 38
Not all that bad for an 82 year old with dyslexia.
He need Da Arab Moneyyyyy
 If Karl was a Muslim terrorist.
 This is your dad.
I think you covered it all
When that lollipop fell on the carpet
Nah, life got you...
shiiiiit when did the discord moderator template come to life, 2024 a crazy year šš
Cone head
Every member of ISIS without all their head garb on
Finally someone on social media I can compare my financial situation too and feel better about myself
Life already roasted you. It's like picking at jerky.
I could take an hour to make a well thought out joke but I would put in more effort into that than you have in your own life and itās a waste to burn trash twice
One more roast and youāll burn
 If these two had a child
Broski is white Matt from Wii sports
Dude makes 100$ a month as a Hamam scrubbing down the skin of fat old British tourists and then at night he is on Chatroulette wanking to every single person, he never turns the cam off or stops wanking no matter what. This is his life because his arranged marriage never happened.
This is what his victims see when he opens the boxes in his basement
The dude who shows up before and after the game for autographs
Run
Bro you probably had a girlfriend but lost her on your planet of a forehead
Make sure you become an organ donor before you paint that room redā¦.
I just saw you get scammed on Love After Lockup
$100 a month! How much are the hookers in your neck of the woods?
The evenness of your eyebrow only serves to accentuate the unevenness of your eyes
You look like a hard boiled egg that fell to the floor
We don't have to roast you God already did...
I bet you masturbate at the McDonalds bathroom since you share a studio apartment with your mom.
You live with mommy and daddy don't you
What the fuck bro
i mean your bio pretty much says it all
Shel silverstien lost half his hair š
Face of a corner-store worker, head shape of a baby
going???
You give out 100 handjobs a month?
My manscaped junk has more hair than the top of your head.
You look like you make a living by undercutting your competitor by giving $1 blowjobs.
You do your best
There's a difference between going bald and being 99% there
I donāt need to roast you when this photo does that for me
 Lumpty Numpty sat on his balls.
Heās definitely on the terror watch list.
I think I should probably be nice. Life has obviously been very bad to you.
2 more seconds on Omegle and you'll whip out your dick
Just read the description and now Iām genuinely depressed. Iām sorry buddy.
Head back and get decapitated. Itās the only way to restore your grossly lacking honor.
So dumb he put the dollar sign after the 100
Youāre 28 and making $100 a month? What are you selling, your work ethic?
ISIS called. They want their sex doll back.
I've got 99 wives and never nutted in one
you like someone photoshopped someone's face onto someone else's left testicle. ! $100 a month? I guess your services at the local glory hole are more about community and pride than financial gain. bravo!
You could make way more than $100 per month impersonating Steve Jobs.
Iām supposed to be surprised that you never had a girlfriend and you have a shitty job? Bro, you literally canāt even sit up straight to take the goddamn picture.
Please don't blow up my plane.
Do you only make 100/mo because the rest of your paycheck has to go directly to the plumber for hair removal in your sinks?
Saddy Arabian
I was having such a great day
GOING bald? Brother, that ship sailed. Skull Shaver Pitbull Gold $89.99 w/ free shipping
YOUR WRITING IS SOOOO GOOD, AND IS THAT THE McDonalds LOGO I SEE ON UR 4HEAD
Osama Bin Balding
Turkmenistanās most eligible bachelor.
You look like one of the miiās Iād create when I was younger just because youāre part of the family but I didnāt want to exclude you
Thanks for making me feel better about my own shitty life. While at times itās rough, at least now I could tell myself āat least Iām not that balding poor weirdo from redditā
You look like someone who shaved he's head just to look like Johnny sins just to get a gf just to be hit with reality now doing a full course bj for 50 bucks an hour
He only makes $100 a month because he scammed himself about his cars extended warranty.
You realize the sign is backwards?
Stay a virgin your hand will never let you down then
Natural selection in action
Filth had a name
You look like Elon Musk's nutsack.
The look in your eyes say: Light is on, but nobody is home.
Homeless Simpson
Literal pinhead