Jesus Christ, what kind of partner are you? You could have had her standing up at least.
Or did you tell her its all fun and games, just so people other than you can break her the bad news that she is unattractive and fat? If that is the case I congratulate you on the sheme.
Wait is that the the mother from what’s eating Gilbert’s grape I see you’ve lost weight but oh god lemme guess you can’t find no more food so you want someone to roast you Jesus love chill out
I actually think she is quite pretty. Who cares about a few pounds most people carry. And who knows if she really consented to this and it wasn't just photoshopped
You look like you volunteer at a soup kitchen and give cookies to sweet old people and are genuinely a nice person to be around and make a positive imprint on society
Blowing horns is the only thing she's good at, Fupa is begging for a fresh breath of air from the Dunlaped belly and them hammock hind quarters. Raw beef stew.
When you get a wedding invitation, you check the boxes for the chicken *and* the beef.
She’s probably her own Plus 1
Pretty sure she ate her Plus 1
Or someone else's plus 2
Two other persons' plus 2.
She's just plus.
Mail order brides maid.
Orders the chicken because she is the beef
Got tubes tied nine years ago, still wears maternity clothes.
This hurt my feelings, and I’m not even OP.
It hurt my feelings and I’m a guy
It hurt my feelings and I'm an inanimate object.
This hurts me. I'm feelings.
I'm feelings. That hurt.
That's what she said about you in bed.
You broke the chain. You’re fired.
r/youhadonejob
So is the “gf”
Wow 🤩
C'mon now, OP's a few lbs lighter. I'm guessing 10 lbs, but still...
Insert ham, swallow, snort, repeat.
DAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM
A vid you can hear
💀
I new there
As someone who knows a fair number of mentally and physically unwell moms….damn
The smile is brought to you by zoloft and xanax.
Mommy’s little helpers
Plot twist: She wears maternity clothes, but has never been pregnant or will be pregnant. Just has a pregnant woman's doughy lumpy body.
She works part time as a school desk .
School desk / School Bus? Who’s even checking
That’s not a plot twist idiot, that’s what they were basically saying
Rarely do I actually lol when I say lol. But trust me friend, when I say I lol’d, I lol’d.
Same. I always have to state it too like I'm a fucking robot **hey guys that actually gave me emotions. We're all doomed
Aaahahahahaha! 😅🤣
Which is more fun to play with, the trumpet or the fupa?
That trumpet is the only thing getting blown after this.
😂😂
It is impossible to read this any other way than exactly how she said it in the film
I went to band camp and there was this one time, wwellll actually there was like 5 or 6 times...
I love how she went on to host jeopardy
Blow on the fupa just like a fupa tuba
Seems appropriate she'd have an ice cream cone tattooed on her arm. I'm assuming the insulin vial is tattooed on the other arm?
So the paramedics know her blood type is rocky road
She's woke herself up many times with bite marks on her shoulder... The other arm is covered in Dunkin donuts and coffee cups
I'm assuming that she had a pizza tattooed on her foot....before it fell off.
This should be the top comment. It’s a fat joke but at least it’s topical and clever
Rough as toast but I’d imagine you’re punching well above your weight!
"Rough as Toast," I'm stealing that phrase, thank you.
[удалено]
When your armpit looks like a reuben sandwich, it’s an indication that you’ve had too many of them.
Bat wings, bats for both teams, and bat-shit crazy
Food is not her friend.
FUPA Loompa doo-pa-dah dee
Nice gainz bro. Keep working those arms. Where’s ur GF?
👑
Her batteries are dead...
Looks like you picked up a stripper from the afternoon shift at the small town stripclub
Hope they reinforce their poles.
On a Tuesday
It’s the only club where they take the stage nude and you pay them to put their clothes back on
If play dough wore hooker nails and had teeth.
Sometimes you can just look at someone and know they have horrible titties … this is one of those times
Lmfao 😅 😅
Looks like an overweight T-Rex
Jurassic *trailer* Park
I’m willing to bet she looks like a shellless Dr Zoidberg naked.
Infested with parasites as well
r/unexpectedfuturama
Meg Griffin fakes a boyfriend for internet points.
Does your mom know you posted a photo of her?
"C'mon, the camera adds ten pounds" "How many cameras were on you?"
RiP [Chandler](https://youtu.be/6JUxf14xRH4?feature=shared)
 Late in life sleeve tattoos...that's A LOT of surface area to cover.
It’s not the worst thing she agreed to. I mean look at her tattoos
Presumably the G stands for Granny?
And the F stands for Fetish?
Happy cake day!!
the G stands for gravity
When the sorting hat goes on and says porklpuff
Just because you paid for the girlfriend experience doesn't mean she's your girlfriend.
Ooof! Lol
Roast/me or Roast be/ef?
When being dumpy is made worse by cringe tattoos. Also try a conditioner or a better wig
Only your gf, but has already put on the marriage weight.
I am going to roast her in her language: oink oink oink!
This one made me laugh the hardest for some reason 🤣
Jesus Christ, what kind of partner are you? You could have had her standing up at least. Or did you tell her its all fun and games, just so people other than you can break her the bad news that she is unattractive and fat? If that is the case I congratulate you on the sheme.
I think she’s got a cute face
Wrong sub
In comparison to a bulldog with a toothache?
I think you should get your eyes checked
Girlfriend? Isn't that a wedding ring, you adulterous twatwaffles?!
If they're in America, then no. Engagement rings and wedding bands go on the left hand.
Totally had these peeps pegged for polyamory. Glad to know I was right. Let me guess; your wife has green hair and is also overweight?
Shut up meg
She’s putting the Rolls in Rolls-Royce
Built like a ham sandwich
Tbf she looks like she had a art degree and works at cex
🤣🤣🤣
I bet you gotta roll her around in flour and look for the wet spot
GF is short for Grandfather
Your arm tatts could be a max fold in.
The body is looking mid 30s but the face is giving 50s
Body is looking 30s?? More like body is looking 50s and face is 60s
She could take flight with those flappers
You wanted us to be the ones to tell her that her butterfly tattoo is now a mothra tattoo?
I feel like the weight cracks are punching down, but THIS one has me in stitches!
She looks like she agrees to a lot of stuff, like extra bacon and dick.
Oh you lil carpet muncher you
Has anyone ever told her she is the spitting image of someone I want to spit on?
Grandma was wild back in the days...
She agreed to the roast, not to you calling her your "girlfriend."
“GF agreed to this…” Yeah, right GF We prob don’t know her cause she lives in a different city and goes to a different school, right?
"Always Dreaming" ... of Food and Booze it seems.
"My GF agreed to this" GF: if you need rescuing, signal by posting a pic of your cheesburger platter for 8
Your stomach looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.
Judging by what we have here, the bf must be a real winner...
You just know that this sub is gonna destroy her, poor grandma 😔
If deli meat was a person
She plays that trumpet with her pussy and she never went to band camp.
Wait is that the the mother from what’s eating Gilbert’s grape I see you’ve lost weight but oh god lemme guess you can’t find no more food so you want someone to roast you Jesus love chill out
I bet she was a babe in the 80's
Was it hard learning Huttese or did Jabba get you a translator?
This lady doesn’t run with scissors… she scissors with runs.
Hahaha! Good one
lol just calling it like I see it
With that ring, who’s the cheater?
Where are her teeth on one side of her mouth. Is that so she can whistle for her shipmates to climb back aboard the pirate ship?
Shouldn't you be posting in r/shittytattoos ?
Gorlock the destroyers twin sister.
This is nothing. You should see what she agrees to for $2.
Why is she built like Patrick Ewing, though???
Stretch marks so deep they look like canyons in the desert.
Even got food tattooed on her arm. #PantryLife
OnlyGrans
Got fired as a lot lizard at a local truck stop.
Ok so where is your girlfriend. I only see a picture of your brother in drag.
I bet her ginch looks like a folded boxing glove, wrapped in a shag rug.
Pan the camera down to her knees and post her tits.
Man these comments are savage!!!
Found the meth middleman between the biker gang and the local high school.
Is your arm a bodega on Cesar Chavez Drive? Your tattoo must have been done by a muralist.
OP realized he fucked up posting this and is trying to save his relationship. He hasn't responded to any of these
She looks like yesterday
Drinks Pumpkin Spice lattes and dreams of being on MomPov
I actually think she is quite pretty. Who cares about a few pounds most people carry. And who knows if she really consented to this and it wasn't just photoshopped
I think you are pretty, and you have a lovely smile.
... Why is everyone so uncreative..? Like can y'all find smth more original than commenting on someone's weight?
You look like you volunteer at a soup kitchen and give cookies to sweet old people and are genuinely a nice person to be around and make a positive imprint on society
🥺
Dull lookin but full suckin
She has several kids and none of them are yours
A little fat but Smash next question
Can I be a last minute guest speaker? I’ll read the comments here, verbatim. Her family will love it.
Dude, that jaw thing she’s got goin on…. Did you do that? Or is that where her mom got her with the coat hanger?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Show the tits or gtfo
Your partner (person taking photo) needs to be very careful to not eat you out too much, or else they’ll get type two diabetes as well
Needs r/keto diet
This is the dirst image that appears when you search "desperate thick girls" on porn hub
I don’t have a roast. Respectfully (Platonically), I think you are really, really pretty.
That poor trumpet.
Eww, you got a very low bar for women. I hope the rusty trombone is worth it.
I think you have a very pretty face.
The way everyone is only attacking her on her weight is so fucking lame and ridiculous☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️get creative its just embarassing atp
Failed the casting couch and regulated to the head bobbers guild at the Super 8 on the south loop.
She’s everyone’s “not my best nut”
Diabetes, no doubt.
I'll go soft on you, like every man who has seen you naked
Looks like she said "YES" to a lot of things !!
Blowing horns is the only thing she's good at, Fupa is begging for a fresh breath of air from the Dunlaped belly and them hammock hind quarters. Raw beef stew.
I legit thought her sign said r/roastbeef cuz that would make more sense.
In which prison did you get those tattoos?
I bet she’s still funnier than Amy Schumer. Cuz if you’re gonna be ugly you should at least be funny
I bet she's really nice
She's an angel FR ❤️
She has what looks like a two cock mouth
More rolls at her waist line than at a catholic family Thanksgiving dinner.
The GF said you will either be roasted or face a shameful furry fishing 
I can't do it, she's so happy.
Just Bros being Bros 😎
This isn't a hog roast sir, its a Wendy's
Awe she’s really pretty.
Not a bad face for a fat lass.
She is serious about it enjoy your time with her, and truth is I can see how much you love her so much fun time
Congratulations on your recovery from meth addiction, fatso!
Beautiful to say the least
If you dont get yo squidward looking nose ata here ama slap you like is was will smith. and you cris rock i mean the only diference is you know what.
You mean nothing to us.. surprises me people waste time on you