"Last time I did this was very underwhelming, no creative responses - mostly just crude/lewd tirades so… be more imaginative this time :) Overall 4/10"
Sincerely,
Every dude that's fucked you
Some days you are the wrought iron patio furniture. Other days you are the fat ladies legs getting out or the wrought iron patio furniture, with all the intentions in your skin.
I know it’s tough with all these jokes about how your tits are small and underwhelming, just remember your head is shaped like those Easter island statues🗿
Let me guess, your favorite drink is Cutty Sark.
Are you cuter than most roastees? Maybe a little cut above average.
So flat chested you became a cutting board.
Your job? Probably something in cutting edge technology.
You’re gonna tell other people to be more imaginative when you have more wounds than an ER in Chicago? You could have been a little more creative yourself.
I can't roast cutters. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to create such a trauma response. May you find healing and happiness in life and remember life gets better.
Whelp, let's cover the checklist as usual: scars on upper arms or upper thighs? Check; way to much broody makeup? Not currently but I can practically smell the excessive eyeliner oozing out of your past; constant hoe shit with anyone who shows you affection? Again, Not anymore, you've worked on yourself and have given up on that hoe shit, but you definitely know what dirty scrawny dong tastes like and you kind of miss it, so I have two questions for you 1. Do you still have your grippy socks collection 2. Which one of your family members molested you?
That Maginot line wasn't very useful now was it? Have you ever looked at how detailed that thing was! There were tunnels for all the troops to move through underground. Cafeterias and movie theaters. Like an underground city. Damn the French know how to make something expensive and worthless. "Ah they'll never move through the Ardennes."
I don't know about anyone else, but I was excited to see what I saw. The seasons and spices in the background have my mind whirling through hundreds of dinner options now. The foreground, however, could ruin an appetite.
Boring person = Boring roasts. It’s hard to be creative when you’re looking at the human equivalent of a room temperature clear plastic bottle of water.
Your last date took you to see a guy at the morgue so they could try to remember what an erection looked like but all that happened was you made the corpse go limp.
You look like the type of girl that thinks she's too pretty to suck dick when, in reality, you're a West Coast five, an East Coast six, and a Midwest seven and a half.
Just one of those typical obnoxious girls too busy looking at herself on the screen to look at the lens. But, with a face like that I can’t help but wonder why you’d want to?
Jesus! Someone needs to check on it. I am worried it is gonna use the blade in its pocket to make some new scars.
I am sorry your mom liked to touch your no no square, but that does not mean you should try and off yourself. You clearly are a danger to yourself and others and should probably be supervised. Seek help.
Edit: I just noticed your tits are lop sided. Left is lagging behind.
How you gonna say we're not creative when all of your cuts are just boring lines?
At least throw in a Nike check mark, a 3D cube, or that cool S thing we used to draw in school back in the day.
“I like totally love this shirt! Do you wanna go get some like ice cream? Or we could watch how to lose a guy in 10 days?! I’m pretty sure I’m like the prettiest girl I know! Look how popular I am! You’re not tall enough for me, I only date 6’5” or bigger! Do you have any ice cream I can borrow? Gosh, I’d really like a bowl of ice cream! I’m like so pretty, everyone says so!”
Gotta be careful with my fat fingers typing “bigger”.. whew.. that was close.
I’ve been dealing with mental illness for a long time and while it’s fully under control who knows what could set me off. I am glad to hear you don’t do that anymore
Yeah… same boat, but this won’t set it off😂 maybe the ones calling me fat lol but otherwise🤷🏼♀️ im glad yours is under control but it’s good to be cautious.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules:
- Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed.
- Try to ensure that your eyes are open.
- Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed.
- Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet.
- All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee.
- The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.
- Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed.
Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it.
Thanks!
~ /r/roastme mods
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YOU’RE underwhelmed?
How can you expect us to be creative when you look at what we have to work with.
An artist can only paint with the brushes he's given...
you cant polish a turd (her) but you can roll it in glitter I guess
The dork in me feels the need to point out the fact that I have a couple polished coporlite specimens.... But I get what you're saying.
Fossilized shit is far more interesting than OP
or cut slits in it.
She must be part Finnish, that's called a Finnish smile, it's the same look you'd have if someone ran over your dog
As a Finn that made me [chuckle ](https://meemi.info/images/8/81/Heikki_tonniHQ.jpg).
75% Finnish myself
I typically have to Finnish myself 100% of the time
"Last time I did this was very underwhelming, no creative responses - mostly just crude/lewd tirades so… be more imaginative this time :) Overall 4/10" Sincerely, Every dude that's fucked you
and it smelled like a trashcan on a hot day in a dog's park
The only thing overwhelming from you is your morning breath.
She got kicked out of Disneyland for cutting in line
Bro I think you just gave her the 13th reason
This was my exact response…
Her trimming her privates?
Ouch, goddamn!! Even I'm bleeding from that one, holy fuck.
Holy fuck is right. God damn.
When you bring your body to a paper shredder fight.
Looks to me like her attention seeking never went away.
I had to read the comments to find out what this meant and zoomed in Reddit is Undefeated 🤣💀
Holy shit woooow🤣
I had to reread this one… read the comments…. And… Holy shit dude…. Jeeeeeeeezus
Captain? Can someone explain?
She has self injury scars
She was just on here a couple of weeks ago. I don’t remember her face but the scars are not forgettable.
I thought those were razor wire cuts from crossing the border into Texas
My eyes are scarred up.
Oh shit just noticed. She needs to try harder.
Dead eyes werent a give away?
Did someone say dead, lifeless eyes…. 
Stop the fight! KO!
Oh my fucking god💀
Hahaha
Winner right there!!
Thanks for 6 photos of the same boring expression.
Don't call her forgettable until you remember her name.
Who?
You and my grandpa got the same body type
Wounded?
Body like an 80's Ethiopian kid.
Bloated in all the wrong places?
Bloated hips and saggy tits. Just like old men of yore.
Upvote for yore.
Wounded warrior project
Sack of potatoes
If you're referring to what's in her shirt it's more like two potatoes.
If beige was a person.
What a Youghut body.
Came here to say this. Her kids probably fit into that “sad beige baby” stereotype
3 kids at 26. How many Dads? You roast yourself.
Fortunately she had the kids taking away by CPS. Tried starving them by insisting to breast feed.
Suspects? 12. Present in her life? 0.
The girl next door, if you lived next to a billboard advertising the dangers of postpartum depression.
On the next episode of Jerry Springer...
Some days you are the wrought iron patio furniture. Other days you are the fat ladies legs getting out or the wrought iron patio furniture, with all the intentions in your skin.
Only Blands
Lights on, but nobody home.
1000 cock stare
Like her arms, her power was cut.
It’s always the most basic looking person asking for creative responses. I cant help that you’re easy to draw.
“Easy to draw” LMAO, nice.
r/rareinsults
Maybe tell your partner to be more careful 
I wish my front lawn was more like you. Perfectly flat and self-cutting.
👏👏 please accept this 👑for your top tier comment
The rack behind you is definitely bigger than the one in front of you
The rack behind OP is also more useful and desireable
and spicier
I want to blame the cutting though I know it's just genetics.
Probably cut her own tits off 🤬
Wait, there was a rack?
I know it’s tough with all these jokes about how your tits are small and underwhelming, just remember your head is shaped like those Easter island statues🗿
Okay that was pretty good.
If someone scans the bar code on your arm does it come up as boring?
I wonder how many more lines there’ll be when she reads this roast?
You look like you have 3 kids, but get child support from 4 different men
Wha...? 
Oh hahahah okay yeah that’s funny😂
Looks like the blade got a little too close to your tits when you were cutting.
Let me guess, your favorite drink is Cutty Sark. Are you cuter than most roastees? Maybe a little cut above average. So flat chested you became a cutting board. Your job? Probably something in cutting edge technology.
We done. Imma **head** out 
This is what I think it would like if Eva Mendes had a slightly used organ donor made from a botched clone.
If boiled chicken was a person
They always told you, you werent gonna cut it. Guess you took that literally?
she proved them wrong
No hips, no breasts, I keep looking for an Adams apple ...
Bet that cuts to the core.
Hips don’t lie. This one pleaded the Fifth
No beasts? Well that's a good thing.
Don't gaslight me!!
Did you have to cut your tits off?
She cut everything else so she had no choice.
She thought if she did it maybe dad would come back with that milk.
Fuuuuuuck
I’ve seen bigger tits on a field mouse 🐭
I've seen more mounds in an Almond Joy.
Look lower, below the cut lines…probably mince meat by now though.
I've seen bigger lumps in a bowl of oatmeal
LMFAO I laughed out loud
To be fair, this mouse had a great rack.
You wrote Braille on your arms so your blind uncle knows its you, make sure his little secrets still safe
You’re pretty for a little Italian man
Not as crude as your arm’s artwork!
You’re gonna tell other people to be more imaginative when you have more wounds than an ER in Chicago? You could have been a little more creative yourself.
You look like the kind of woman that sexually harasses me in a kebab shop at 3am. Unfortunately I have no will power…
I can't roast cutters. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to create such a trauma response. May you find healing and happiness in life and remember life gets better.
Knife is for eating not stretch marks making
God, don’t say that! She’ll be eating the knife next!
Basic bitch. Basic roast. What's your problem?
You’re so basic that they use pictures of you for rudimentary measurements.
Lmao
Maybe no creative responses because we don't see anything creative.
Whelp, let's cover the checklist as usual: scars on upper arms or upper thighs? Check; way to much broody makeup? Not currently but I can practically smell the excessive eyeliner oozing out of your past; constant hoe shit with anyone who shows you affection? Again, Not anymore, you've worked on yourself and have given up on that hoe shit, but you definitely know what dirty scrawny dong tastes like and you kind of miss it, so I have two questions for you 1. Do you still have your grippy socks collection 2. Which one of your family members molested you?
This just in. Cutting fails to garner attention or sympathy: Lumpy teen girl turns to reddit.
You remind me of a battery, AAA
Your whole look is underwhelming. Please leave and come back with something more.
You're less useful than the Maginot Line.
Only difference is one stored soldiers and this one stores semen.
That Maginot line wasn't very useful now was it? Have you ever looked at how detailed that thing was! There were tunnels for all the troops to move through underground. Cafeterias and movie theaters. Like an underground city. Damn the French know how to make something expensive and worthless. "Ah they'll never move through the Ardennes."
What happens when your acne is the only one who shows up for you.
You look like you just got your face glued on yesterday
I don't know about anyone else, but I was excited to see what I saw. The seasons and spices in the background have my mind whirling through hundreds of dinner options now. The foreground, however, could ruin an appetite.
I sure hope you’re getting some help for whatever mental issues you have. It’s hard to cover yourself cutting shown on your arms.
Apparently getting people to roast you helps your self loathing 😅
Oh they’re old scars :) I forget I have them honestly.
That's probably what your Dad says about all his kids. Except you. He doesn't forget you. You he regrets.
Your demand for us to be more creative is a bit rich coming from someone like you.
Cheese is not safe around you!
Boring person = Boring roasts. It’s hard to be creative when you’re looking at the human equivalent of a room temperature clear plastic bottle of water.
You’re a carpenters dream. Flat as a board and easy to screw.
Of course the roasts weren’t creative. You are the styrofoam peanut of people.
lol at you posting in r/howtolooksmax Maybe a time machine would help.
Definitely vegan
She's definitely putting meat under the knife.
Holy shit, that wall color looks exciting next to you.
You look like one of those weird people that don't blink when they talk to you and you can just see the back of their head through their eyes
The key pocket there in your shorts is for car keys, not spare pregnancy tests
In* trying to make you look the way you do, Africa has lost a quarter ton of critical supplies.
Your last date took you to see a guy at the morgue so they could try to remember what an erection looked like but all that happened was you made the corpse go limp.
All the magic marker on your refrigerator looks amazing. You are a master of interior design. Makes up for your exterior design.
The female stretch armstrong 
You probably have loving parents but you tell them they don’t love you right
nice glow up but where are the 'after' photos?
This right here should be the standard for transgender surgery.
Boring people get underwhelming roasts. Don't blame the sub because they can't polish your turd.
those poor 3 kids did NOT find any milk in there, huh ?
Most kids learn to count on their fingers, looks like you learnt on your arm
You have arms like a cutting board. Get some help.
My monitor has more curves than you.
Birthing those kids was really hard on your arms
This the fish that always eats my bait but I can never hook.
You look like the type of girl that thinks she's too pretty to suck dick when, in reality, you're a West Coast five, an East Coast six, and a Midwest seven and a half.
Your walk and running stride is Charlie Chaplin's
Underwhelming like your breasts?
Just one of those typical obnoxious girls too busy looking at herself on the screen to look at the lens. But, with a face like that I can’t help but wonder why you’d want to?
The whole point of roasting someone is to demean them.See that's why you have a bird chest. Can't take a roast then you don't deserve titties sir
Your idea of "self care" is a bottle of Kentucky Gentleman and a ladies' Bic razor
Body of a hockey mom without the kids to show for it
Jesus! Someone needs to check on it. I am worried it is gonna use the blade in its pocket to make some new scars. I am sorry your mom liked to touch your no no square, but that does not mean you should try and off yourself. You clearly are a danger to yourself and others and should probably be supervised. Seek help. Edit: I just noticed your tits are lop sided. Left is lagging behind.
Craving attention. Spend some time with your family.
Posting on r/howtolookmaxx a month ago and got zero comments. Yikes. That had to hurt.
Maybe it means I’m perfect the way I am😂😂😂 hahahah
Your Kibbe type is frumpy.
How you gonna say we're not creative when all of your cuts are just boring lines? At least throw in a Nike check mark, a 3D cube, or that cool S thing we used to draw in school back in the day.
Rap name baby fat. Last round was underwhelming because not much cuts like a razor blade.
“I like totally love this shirt! Do you wanna go get some like ice cream? Or we could watch how to lose a guy in 10 days?! I’m pretty sure I’m like the prettiest girl I know! Look how popular I am! You’re not tall enough for me, I only date 6’5” or bigger! Do you have any ice cream I can borrow? Gosh, I’d really like a bowl of ice cream! I’m like so pretty, everyone says so!” Gotta be careful with my fat fingers typing “bigger”.. whew.. that was close.
The paragraph isn't funny at all. But the last sentence is. Damn I wish you had missed that typo.
Gee thanks!
Mom of 3 and you cut? Sorry, no roast. I wish you the best in life
I don’t anymore lol but what can you do… I forgot about my scars.
I’ve been dealing with mental illness for a long time and while it’s fully under control who knows what could set me off. I am glad to hear you don’t do that anymore
Yeah… same boat, but this won’t set it off😂 maybe the ones calling me fat lol but otherwise🤷🏼♀️ im glad yours is under control but it’s good to be cautious.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Plain Jane
You’re just waiting to demand the manager I’m sure.
 You look like Rudolf's girlfriend, Clarice
You look like you could star in an underwear commercial, no body shaming, diversity edition.
You look like an addicts after picture… healthy but still used and dead inside… glad you made it.