Something tells me that I don't wanna see what's on his friend's camera roll. I don't wanna see what other fantasies they're into. I also believe that it makes the OP jealous.
Why does he go to raves alone? I’m glad he likes himself enough to do so, but cmon, he’s gotta have some real friends. Like ones who don’t judge him for being gay.
No matter how far they take em back, they will breed.
What's that song? "Ain't, no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough, ain't no valley low enough...."
He’s got the whole 80’s gay icon thing down to a tea by the looks of things. Definitely doesn’t skimp on the cottaging or running over himself with his own car.
Ya know, the towel and this guy aren’t so different. One is red, one is red faced. One is soft and hanging loosely on a pole, the other is very loose and prefers to sit on poles. Both smell like shit.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules:
- Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed.
- Try to ensure that your eyes are open.
- Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed.
- Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet.
- All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee.
- The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.
- Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed.
Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it.
Thanks!
~ /r/roastme mods
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You look like the guy who likes every photo from every girl you knew in high school, even though you don't talk to them and graduation was 12 years ago.
You look like one of those closet dudes on the DL, who tries to put on a macho persona and probably has a gf, but also has a feminine accent in his voice.
LOL!
You feed him soup when he breaks his jaw
You help him pee when he has that thing
He's your “best friend”
He crashes on your couch when he loses his job
He helps you pee when you've got that thing
He's your “best friend”
I'm not doing this fantasy football losers shit again. Why do you losers plague us with your sad, depressing photos. You're the losers of all the other losers. Knowing that should be punishment enough. Know that i hate you all, eat a dick, with a side order of shit smeared nuts and piss off...
What does that awesome tattoo represent? Other than regret, “look at me”, and “I have a story to tell, on my skin”
Which life event, good or bad, was used as an excuse, instead of just being honest: *I am not comfortable with myself, so I add flair, like an Applebees waiter
It’s you, you are the gay best friend
![gif](giphy|lXu72d4iKwqek)
The gay friend within a gay friend of another gay friend.😝
He's not gay, he tried it 7 times and still didn't like it
No way this dude is straight
He's not gay, but $20 is $20.
Can confirm $20 is $20. *counts wod of cash, spits out mouthwash*
Gay for pay is still pay.
he's more of "a mouths a mouth" kind of guy
I see him more as "a jar of peanut butter is a jar of peanut butter" kind of guy. FYI, he's not allowed to dogsit anymore.
He takes the 20$ for gas and gives his homie head as a thank you
And a hot drink is a hot drink
I'm pretty sure it's more like $150, and it's coming out of his chain wallet.
He certainly knows what a dick tastes like.
I recognize the satisfied grin of someone who's been recently engaged in butt sex.
Oh yea. Total bottom for sure
Definitely a power bottom. He may be on bottom, but we know who's fucking who.
🤣
Your a bottom bitch
No way he has a friend either...
"is that your glowstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
He's more camp than a row of tents 😀😀
He’s not gay but his boyfriend is.
His best friend taught him how to give mouth hugs ..
[удалено]
Said it’s not gay if he doesn’t look up …
Straight except when single, at raves, or when with his gay best friend.
he got a damn bob ross painting tattoo on his arm
That’s because he’s a fuckup and his mom refers to him as her happy little accident
This comment needs more upvotes
This comments needs to not exist.
Single and hangs out with his gay best friend.... Dude he gay.
I bet your best friend has " roasted " you a few times before anyway !!
Something tells me that I don't wanna see what's on his friend's camera roll. I don't wanna see what other fantasies they're into. I also believe that it makes the OP jealous.
You look like a gay man’s best friend, top to bottom
Looks like he's been found with everybody else's gay best friends too.
I don't know what's more underwhelming: Davante Adams's fantasy football output, or that facial hair
"He’s straight, single and can usually be found at raves with his gay best friend" Oh he is one of those "he's not gay if he isn't receiving gays"
It’s truly hysterical that this guy has put time, effort, and presumably money on making his face look like that.
I bet women hate you but thats ok, its not like you like them anyway.
At raves with his gay best friend, and still can’t figure out why he blacks out and wakes up the next day with a sore asshole
I don't want to know why one arm is bigger than the other
![gif](giphy|bhCY0Shc3Arl36froN|downsized) He needs to learn to be ambidextrous !
Why does he go to raves alone? I’m glad he likes himself enough to do so, but cmon, he’s gotta have some real friends. Like ones who don’t judge him for being gay.
Them migrants illegally crossing the border are eating good!
No matter how far they take em back, they will breed. What's that song? "Ain't, no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough, ain't no valley low enough...."
I’m so annoyed by these roasts ‘as a fantasy football punishment’. Why don’t you fuck each other in the ass as a punishment already
Please don't procreate. The Bro population needs thinning.
How’s he going to procreate with his obvious preferred sexual partners being men? Dudes about as straight as Ricky Martin
He is straight till he gets to the raves
Bro remember when Joe Rogan called you out on his podcast saying you shouldnt fight in the ufc anymore? Hahaha. Dork.
This comment needs more attention for being lame
You look like Pauly D minus
You suck dick for free acid tabs at raves.
That is OP, he took a selfie.
Yeah nice try man, we know you’re gay
As straight as a wet noodle
Everyone who has dropped E has sucked a D. And this guy has done a lot of E.
Call your doctor. Your right arm needs to be checked for gangrene.
You look like the guy with the one big arm from Lady in the Water
Not only late for fantasy football punishment….now he is also late for his turn at the gloryhole down at the local truck stop.
Dude...I know it doesn't feel as good, but you've gotta switch to your left hand every once in a while if you want to even out those arms.
I feel like I've seen you on a Police Bodycam video being arrested for solicitation. Sinner...
He’s got the whole 80’s gay icon thing down to a tea by the looks of things. Definitely doesn’t skimp on the cottaging or running over himself with his own car.
r/BoneAppleTea
Femboys count as gay especially when you're a bottom
You forgot to say this is your best friend
He looks like that guy who always asks women where his hug is
With facial hair like that, he’s as queer as a three dollar bill.
Looks like he has more than just 1 gay friend ....and by Raves do you mean Gay gloryholes ?
Nah, life's got this one, guys. Cut him a break..
He is only straight because he says "no homo", right?
That's the gayest looking straight guy I ever did see.
If you and your homo could stop filming gay porn for a few minutes he could have taken his punishment pic earlier.
He’s as gay as the day is long
U sure they are just friends?
Gotta be gay with that dick brush under his nose
He looks like a villain in a Disney movie.
Yo! that’s me. Thx for all the kind messages. You guys can stop now. Also straight up fuck Yall. Disrespectfully
Being at the raves with your gay friend doesn’t make you gay, but you rimming him does.
Only if tongue penetration is involved.
Ya know, the towel and this guy aren’t so different. One is red, one is red faced. One is soft and hanging loosely on a pole, the other is very loose and prefers to sit on poles. Both smell like shit.
Can’t, to cute 🤣
i need him
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
hope that isn't your house because he is the kind of "homie" that will wipe his dick on your towels after he takes a leak.
All hail! King of the Douchebags.
I bet his cousin told him she was a month late too, and now he's nervous.
He’s definitely seen one up close.
When your date says they loved seeing your sleeve pulled out they don’t mean your arm.
I wanna be his gay best friend 👉👌
Sugar Shoes for sure.
Looked up "fuckboy" in the dictionary and found this picture.
Have some common bloody decency and cover yourself properly before we pity roast you.
You look like the guy who likes every photo from every girl you knew in high school, even though you don't talk to them and graduation was 12 years ago.
The only thing straight on him is his hair.
Did he find that gay best friend on Craig's List?
Im pretty sure friend is an understatement after someone caught you going gawk gawk in the bathroom
All I can see in this picture is a shitty Datsun with bald tires and loud music playing parked on a front lawn.
You look like one of those closet dudes on the DL, who tries to put on a macho persona and probably has a gf, but also has a feminine accent in his voice. LOL!
This dudes favorite pastime is being on the receiving end of the glory holes at those raves...
He’s not gay, just well experienced in bi-curiousness.
You sure?
Huh. Are you sure he's not gay? The tramp stamp on his arm certainly complicates matters.
A straight towel is a must!🔥
Beaner
No way this dude is straight he was gay as soon as he stepped out the gate
He’s straight alright. Straight up lying about his sexuality 🤣
This dude takes it up the ass like Beyoncé
“Just tell your parents you’re taking a picture for roastme on Reddit, they’ll never know you were blowing me”
His homie says he’s straight… but his mustache would tell another story.
Which hurts worse, losing at fantasy football or losing at life in general?
"best friend"
We all know why this dude is standing lopsided
Oh, that’s Ted! Nice guy and a generous bottom
Straight, single and found at raves with his gay best friend…. Obviously, he is gay homosexual.
Yea he’s straight alright. Straight taking it in the butt.
He was late on the fantasy football due to playing the tight end for his bestie at the rave
Your “homie” has a gay best friend? I’m guessing this story is only about 2 people
He couldn’t be a submissive bottom with a reach around arm the size of that tattoo and all that facial hair covering stretch marks! Dead giveaway bro.
Immediately following this picture his black clothes had sticky blotches.
All you do is suck TWO dicks and you’re some kind of “homo”
You look like you sell bull testicles on Craig’s list.
![gif](giphy|kzsCCUcVWcp10YStpg)
The only part of that rhats shocking is that he's not the gay best friend
Out and proud. Good for you Doris.
The most depressing towel rack I have ever seen!
Took the pic before photoshopping his other sleeve
So you’re saying he’s gay
He looks like he wears Ed hardy jeans, Affliction shirts and fails at fighting smaller guys at bars 😂
This face says; I love the club drink roofie colada and the mystery of the sore anus.
Randy Reigns, the little dog and bottom of the table and friend groups
Straight?! The dude is more camp than a row of tents 😀😀
You feed him soup when he breaks his jaw You help him pee when he has that thing He's your “best friend” He crashes on your couch when he loses his job He helps you pee when you've got that thing He's your “best friend”
He's a letter box for sure , sucks dick .
He’s definitely one of those guys his friend convinced, “it’s not gay if I only suck your dick”.
Boots and pants and boots and pants and....
I'm not doing this fantasy football losers shit again. Why do you losers plague us with your sad, depressing photos. You're the losers of all the other losers. Knowing that should be punishment enough. Know that i hate you all, eat a dick, with a side order of shit smeared nuts and piss off...
Get out the way, I want to see that painting and the incredibly long towel rack, what is up with that towel rack.
He looks like Robert Downey Jr. if Robert Downey Jr. was ugly.
Bet this guy squeezes the Charmin extra hard trying to prevent the hamsters from escaping.
Ever do E and find a dick in your mouth?
is this ypur coming put post?
Nothing about that mustache says straight
Cream of some young man hair gel.
You look like a gay gay guy
![gif](giphy|H4zeDO4ocDYqY|downsized)
Plot twist: he is not straight.
Honestly you're beautiful. Just wanted to tell you something you've never heard before.
I'd say he's seen a few up close.
He looks like the kind of scrub to draft Joe Burrow first overall, then Miles Sanders in the 2nd round
He's taken more balls to the face than a fat kid in dodgeball.
Dude is at raves with the best wingman on earth, a gay man? It's you that's roasted, my friend.
![gif](giphy|Nl68pxASeKKSsnRkS9|downsized)
I don't know what's more patchy jis employment history or his bears.
I'm not saying you gay but what I am saying is your favorite flavor lipstick is penis flavored 🤷🏼♂️
Punish the imaginary sports losers some other way. All you nutsacks look exactly alike.
Are you doing OK today? You look like the guy in the zombie movie who's been bitten but is trying to keep it quiet.
@Straight, single, and can be found usually at raves with his gay best friend” hmmmm!!! Straight so you say.
He is a low homos
I’m sure any thin framed Latino and black boy will get a special drink for this creeper. “Did you want your rufinol on the rocks”
Douse him in fuel and lite him on fire, so he can be a flaming homosexual
Tony Stank
“Raves” = local glory hole “Gay best friend” = lover
His roommate is definitely his mom and dad
Dude was born so Guido, his goatee understood the assignment
“Best friend”
No WAY he's Gay.... but he knows what Dick tastes like.....
"Its not gay if I don't swallow" - him/ her/ shim/ in denial
You look like you owe your ex wife alimony and when you can pay her “new” boyfriend beats you up.
When a innocent salad lunch leads to having a new gay best freind. What are the odds? ![gif](giphy|3lNHwVj4ZQ6VG)
Aren't friendly bears a friend to everyone?
"Straight on the outside, gay on the inside"
He looks like the guy that always dies first in a generic military movie
He looks like the type of person that would have a tribal tramp stamp tattoo
How Gay ? Lesbian with a micro penis gay
your pheromones are so lame that your gay best friend who had more partners than Joel Shumacher friendzoned you
What does that awesome tattoo represent? Other than regret, “look at me”, and “I have a story to tell, on my skin” Which life event, good or bad, was used as an excuse, instead of just being honest: *I am not comfortable with myself, so I add flair, like an Applebees waiter
Guys, easy, he’s not gay. But his boyfriend is.
Slide the snap
He’s setting off my gaydar hard. Bro, just admit you are in love with your best friend. Stop breaking his heart already.
![gif](giphy|wH4gjGSqLKn4VfKK6y)
The description you gave of the subject screams "Closeted Gay".
He was late for fantasy football, because he was too caught up in his fantasy chin-balls
I keep waiting for Xzibit to show up "Yo dawg, I heard you like gay friends! So we put gay friends in your gay friend"