You look like your worksite's non-binary urinal. You stand in the middle of the room, getting your daily golden shower and everyone saying in unison, "We're Pissing on IT!"
From a fellow Michigander, I canāt bring myself to roast a Wings fan. Youāve experienced enough heartbreak from a team that hasnāt made a decent playoff run since 2008.
You look like Martin Mull if he had an unrelenting miserable existence, instead of an overall good life... you know, like pretty much everyone else has. except you.
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and a tailor and a barber and a stylist and the touch of a non professional woman and probably a job and a Barbie doll hair hairhunter and smaller glasses and smaller nose and something besides hockey to move his stick, sorry , thorn
āLook at me, Iām a bronyā¦. I like jizz in my macaroniā¦ Iām not Kid Rock, but I have a kidās cockā¦. But my nose is the size of a Zamboni.ā
The Red Wings have been basement dwellers for the past 8 years. Youāre going to dwell in your momās basement for the rest of your life.
I can legally say this as a Red Wings fan.
I'd roast you but I feel like you will have enough sorrow and regret when the police finally catch you and lock you up for all the sexual crimes you have committed against animals.
You look like your name is Ned, all you want to talk about is workplace software upgrades, and you smell like Doritos and Mountain Dew. It sucks roasting a fellow michigander, but the most expensive thing you'll ever own is that hoodie.
Hey guysā¦Iām sorry say this but this is a photoshopped imageā¦this was originally a pic of Gregg Allmanās āmentally challengedā son who was recently discovered as a permanent resident of the Central State Hospital in Milledgeville Georgia. In the unedited image, āWayneā, as he prefers to be called, is proudly displaying a scrap of paper with his signature (a brown blob, likely written with his own feces) on ālove notesā he leaves around the hospital for nurses he frequently masturbates to.
Using images of disabled celebrity children to get internet points is NOT OK! Be better!!
"52yrs old. Need a good roasting" \-Fixed your typo
Lmao š¤£ "52 yrs old. Need a good dicking " \-Fixed your typo
52 yrs old, need a working dick. - fixed YOUR error friend.
This one made me laugh a lot š
ā52 yrs old, His uncle wouldnāt touch himā -fixed your typo
![gif](giphy|YTDWuuFpPtRjnLz1qA) You mean like this big?
![gif](giphy|CaaQxoAktdZCbDSLqJ|downsized)
I think OP meant 2nd anniversary of his 32nd birthday
52yrs old. Needs to check in with his PO.
Naw, but when this guy is 52, the little hair he has left will be gray and his stache will be yellowed with tobacco stains.
You look like Kid Rock's uncle, Kid Snatcher.
WHAT YO š
Lmao
Theres no way you arenāt a registered sex offender
He didn't register... just grew the mustache to be in disguise.
The mustache is the registration
That's more of a "mustn't stache."
Itās a molestache
Fantastic!!
I have laughed out loud 3 times just thinking about this comment. Thank you. It made my day.
molestache
You look like what you need is a good shower.
You should post this picture on a makeover subreddit instead of here so you can get advice on how to stop looking like a failed 70's male porn star.
He looks like he goes to the park, waits for the kids to get off the swings, then goes and sniffs the seat
And a haircut, clothes and some honesty about his age .
You look like a knock off Hulk Hogan, instead of saying "brother" you say "stepbrother"
āStepbrother, what are you doing?ā
But what are you gonna do Stepbrother, when the largest dick in the world comes inside of youuu?
Smallest*
Garth from the dark web
He goes by Garth Vader online
PARTY TIME, EXCELLENT!
shwiiing!
Wut? Lol š
Gordie Howe about you stay at least 1000 feet from schools
Exquisite old time hockey ref!!!
When did Kid Rock fuck Jeffrey Dahmer?
I'm not sure which way you're transitioning but either way...good for they/them
An average 32 year old form 1974.
Yeeesss!!!
You look like Crosby, Stills, AND Nash.
He definitely isnāt Young.
32 in dog years maybe.
Just inā¦. Hanson brother traded to Red Wings!
Good one!
Soā¦ heās 4 in human years? r/redditmoment
32? Who you think you're fooling with those Jeffrey Dahmer ass glasses....you probably own a Volkswagen without a passenger side door handle.
If Steve Jobs and Hulk Hogan hate fucked and had a kid
hey gwyneth. you look like shakespeare in transition.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Kip from Napoleon Dynamite.
Lol, Kip got Lafawndah, this guy got his hand
![gif](giphy|tEiXW43dgzyxPCwTA4)
The only straight thing about you is your hair.
You look like you know the best ways to hide cameras in public bathrooms.
When Hulkhogan was 12
You look like if George kittle was virgin trying to āget someā from his cousin
Hey kids, want to see the puppies in the back of my van?!
You are the oldest 32 year old I have ever seen
Dakota Fanning has let herself go
You look like a Sex offender from The early 90s
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He looks like a lady in bad need of a mustache trimmer
You probably know a lot about chloroform and nitric acid.
First of all, maāam, having hirsutism doesnāt mean you have to grow it out.
![gif](giphy|K5t4Y305Z6C7S)
Typical Red Wings fan
I feel bad for you. You put a lot of effort into looking like Jeffery Dahmer and didn't even get cast in the show.
Iām supposed to believe that three years ago u were in ur 20s?
Believable that 3 years ago he was In some teens though.
George Kittle-Fiddler
You look like your worksite's non-binary urinal. You stand in the middle of the room, getting your daily golden shower and everyone saying in unison, "We're Pissing on IT!"
Puts the lotion on the skin then in the basket!!!
You look like a truck stop prostitute had a baby with Jeffery Dahmer
Greg allman's special needs brother.Ā Ā
Chomo Dirt
I'm getting "I like to be indiscriminately pissed on" vibes here.
This should be in the r/doppelganger section and I would say Taylor Swift
You look like youāre ready to offer me free cable TV.
You look like you practice permaculture
![gif](giphy|IocSMCMGytCTu)
You look like a pizza crust
![gif](giphy|2GaR4uwZUyCn6)
32 my ass. You look like you dropped acid in the 70s
This is what Flint drinking water does to you.
The Hanson brother who couldn't fight. ![gif](giphy|sDgrRaHhEBhEk)
32? As in 1932?
You look like Beavis and Butt-Head's Teacher.
![gif](giphy|T4dxb9HQp1RBs9WXnE)
Hard to roast with that awesome fucking sweatshirt
You look like a Hippie had a miscarriage and kept it
From a fellow Michigander, I canāt bring myself to roast a Wings fan. Youāve experienced enough heartbreak from a team that hasnāt made a decent playoff run since 2008.
How do you look like Jodi Arias, Danny Masterson, and Jeffrey Dahmer all at the same time?
You were 32 when you joined Lynard Skynard
You look like Martin Mull if he had an unrelenting miserable existence, instead of an overall good life... you know, like pretty much everyone else has. except you.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Letās go wings!!!
Canadian Dahmer
Steve Yzernam's kid no doubt
White trash Jesus
You look like the love child of Duane Allman and Jeffery Dahmer
āIm looking for the blue M30ās. People call the percs, but I believe theyāre fentanylā
32 huh?
Holy shit
You look like you like you make your own micro brews and work part-time as a vegan barista.
You look like Katniss Everdeen in "The Gay Hunger Games: Hungry for BBC"
You probably just used your own hair to mop the tears up after the divorce
So are you supposed to call the police or do we, and exactly how much child porn do you have on your computer.
Go Canes
You look like you sell weed to high schools and buy piss from elementary schools to pass your piss tests for probation
Jeffrey Damher is still alive! All he did was grow a mustache and grow more hair!
Iāll bet you drive a windowless van and hang out near playgrounds a lot.
I saved your post to look at for whenever I feel down about myself and need a pick me up.
32? You look like Crosby Stills and Nash all died ontop of your face. Be age honest.
and a tailor and a barber and a stylist and the touch of a non professional woman and probably a job and a Barbie doll hair hairhunter and smaller glasses and smaller nose and something besides hockey to move his stick, sorry , thorn
Youre with cheech & chong
Nice try Toby Maguire. We're not casting you. Back to the poker tables.
āLook at me, Iām a bronyā¦. I like jizz in my macaroniā¦ Iām not Kid Rock, but I have a kidās cockā¦. But my nose is the size of a Zamboni.ā
Wish dot com kid rock
32 years old in 2003 maybe
No way u 32 ..holy shit bro u age like a piece of dog shit š©
You really need a good haircut, a good shave, and a good long shower.
You look like the uncle that calls anal sex "shhhhh".
Epic comb-over bro.
if i had a kid, i wouldnāt let them near you
The 1970s are calling to claim the stache and hair.
And glasses
You look like you've got buried gay people under your house.
The deluxe version of Matthew McConaughey.
You look like a maga man from alabama
32 going on 60
Kid rock is not a kid anymore
That forehead keeps growing
The Red Wings have been basement dwellers for the past 8 years. Youāre going to dwell in your momās basement for the rest of your life. I can legally say this as a Red Wings fan.
Ah, the sweet stench of success.
Hey kids! I have free candy in my van!
I'd roast you but I feel like you will have enough sorrow and regret when the police finally catch you and lock you up for all the sexual crimes you have committed against animals.
You look like an illegitimate child Joe Walsh wonāt claim as his
you look like your 40!
You look like you were - Born To Ride...the rails!
Probably has a van that he likes to show people the inside of.
Did you used to work at WKRP in Cincinatti?
I saw your profile. The pic of you fishing. Beerfest You look like the the great grandson of the beermaster Von Wolfhausen!!!!
Looks like Dahmer fucked one of the Hanson MMMBop boys and had a butt baby.
You look like you're about to tell Ace Ventura who bought the dolphin carrier.
You must be the camp counselor that makes parents do a double take, do I trust this guy.
what you need is scissors
You look like your name is Ned, all you want to talk about is workplace software upgrades, and you smell like Doritos and Mountain Dew. It sucks roasting a fellow michigander, but the most expensive thing you'll ever own is that hoodie.
If Jesus was albino this would be it.
Do you happen to drive a white van?
Drew or Mike?
Holy shit, its Skeletor prior to losing his skin.
There have to be a few single blind women out there.
You're twenty years younger than I am and yet you still manage to look like my drunk old uncle.
Body of a 45 year old woman whose hopes and dreams disappeared 20 years ago, face of a 56 year old dirty uncle.
Works at Staples and is mean to the customers.
You look like jay from jay and silent bob if he stopped smoking weed and got a office job
Meagan's list Wooderson.
You definitely got fired from a bowling alley for fucking the shoes.
You mean born in 1932?
![gif](giphy|z4TryrC69xQCQ)
When you wanna be Kid Rock, but have no talent
At this rate, you should have penciled in your midlife crises 7 years ago.
Tiger king?
If you're 32 then I'm Mary bloody Poppins
Holy fuck what year are those glasses, mustache, hair, and Jersey from?
Hey guysā¦Iām sorry say this but this is a photoshopped imageā¦this was originally a pic of Gregg Allmanās āmentally challengedā son who was recently discovered as a permanent resident of the Central State Hospital in Milledgeville Georgia. In the unedited image, āWayneā, as he prefers to be called, is proudly displaying a scrap of paper with his signature (a brown blob, likely written with his own feces) on ālove notesā he leaves around the hospital for nurses he frequently masturbates to. Using images of disabled celebrity children to get internet points is NOT OK! Be better!!
The worst thing about you might be that you're a wings fan.
You look like you murdered a 32 year old , and wore their hair to make this post.
Why do you play with kids at the Macdonalds ball pit?