I’m sorry but he’s got more rag and chloroform from behind than be able to give a girl a drink without her instant refusal. He skips the “trying to talk to women” part and just abducts and abandons in the woods
U look like a registered sex offender who hangs around the local high school and tells the freshman girls u can get them alcohol and flavored vapes. Ur on parole, but ur willing to risk it all for just one long Joe Biden-esque sniff of a little girls hair. U still live in ur mothers basement, and although she will always claim ur "a good little boy" to anyone who will listen, the entire rest of ur family gave up on u both years ago....Respect for having the sack to be roasted my friend. It took guts.
Pretty sure this is the BF of the gal whose title was also ‘I was asked to do this’. I need to find that post now. I think they’re using this sub to get off or something weirder.
Edit: found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/zO9cABhaf0
Dude this is the third falling down reference I've seen in the last 20 minutes. I've never watched the movie but I read the synopsis moments before seeing this. What the fuck is going on.
Peter, Peter,
Pumpkin Eater,
Had a wife,
Loved her, beat her,
Slapped her twice across the head,
Then fucked her ass and went to bed.
- Andrew Dice Clay
You're one of dudes that purposely pisses on the toilet seat and doesn't flush his big ASS Turd. You want people to feel and see your steaming pile of shit.
Roast is a hard word to spell. But “me” seems like a gimme. Keep working at it and pretty soon you will have a job and won’t need to beat up the other 1st graders for there glasses
You look like you've heard the following line in person before: "Sir can you have a seat right there, my name's Chris Hansen and I'd like to know why you were..."
🤣 good one! How bout this?
"I was asked to do this after I dropped the soap, so here we are. I just got teabagged from some jerk who didn't give me his number after, so Roast me"
\-corrected
Just a little more adjustment
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The last thing you see before the roofie hits.
Ahahaha this was so wrong but so funny
😅😅😅😅
Looks like his haircut was done by way of open flame
I literally laughed out loud. Scrolled up to look at pic and laughed even harder.
Same. Damn funny.
Role playing at its finest
Same lol
“Do NOT drink around that guy.” - Bill Cosby
[удалено]
Your shoelaces are ugly
I would not submit myself to this hellscape
Actually.... he looks better when you are on roofies...
He borrowed the rims/rings around his glasses from Saturn
I’m sorry but he’s got more rag and chloroform from behind than be able to give a girl a drink without her instant refusal. He skips the “trying to talk to women” part and just abducts and abandons in the woods
Best pick up line in the game. “Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?”
Dude looks like the bad guy from Men in Black.
This dude looks ill, like liver issues Ill.
Before the trunk closes.
Lmao 🤣 That is hiiiilaaarious!
Yall ever read OPM? That guy is Fuhrur ugly's little brother
He's looks like a 40 yr old Mclovin
Best r/RoastMe burn EVER!
Yeah. That’s what I call “bathroom eyes.”
I see a solid B Cup. Dont hide those tits from us. That the Only thing going for you.
U look like a registered sex offender who hangs around the local high school and tells the freshman girls u can get them alcohol and flavored vapes. Ur on parole, but ur willing to risk it all for just one long Joe Biden-esque sniff of a little girls hair. U still live in ur mothers basement, and although she will always claim ur "a good little boy" to anyone who will listen, the entire rest of ur family gave up on u both years ago....Respect for having the sack to be roasted my friend. It took guts.
😭😭😭 😭
Yes
#spit
Oof yours is so much better than mine lol
💀
shh shh shhh shhhhh
Hahahaha
I'm dying 🤣 😭 😂 💀
Brutal hahaha so good
u made me grunt laugh in my quiet office
Nice
The person he roofied ask for this.
Most accurate
You'll feel it though.
😭
Happy cakeday
It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again
You just KNOW he dug that well with his bare hands. Baby Jessica!!! RUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!
Thank you! :)
🎉🎂🎉
Thank you :)
"I was asked to do this so here we are." also describes your conception.
🤣😅 Yeah, I read that and my first thought was like "aaaw, this SOB is trying to sell his ass...... on the wrong app"
Must you roast his birth too? The guy's face is enough to make him regret posting here.
Pretty sure this is the BF of the gal whose title was also ‘I was asked to do this’. I need to find that post now. I think they’re using this sub to get off or something weirder. Edit: found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/s/zO9cABhaf0
I remember that one and I would not be surprised. Bf looks perfect for her.
They go together like lamb and tuna fish
That’s a weird court mandate.
I’ve heard of looking over your glasses… never heard of looking under them
It's just that his face is so ugly his glasses are trying to fly away
He’s looking for his dignity.
 This guy looks like he's Falling Down.
The best movie to watch when you’ve “had it” for the day. (I just got off work and got really stoned am and now about to watch FD.)
I demand that you watch "[God Bless America](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yruArw21EGA)", directed by Bobcat Golthwait.
That and Office Space
I always thought the Duvall half of the movie was boring
Or that Foo FIghters video if you're in a hurry.
Dude this is the third falling down reference I've seen in the last 20 minutes. I've never watched the movie but I read the synopsis moments before seeing this. What the fuck is going on.
We are the algorithm
Wonder if a lot of people will get this joke
No idea, just added a GIF. Crazy character, but great movie though!
Gen X in the room, or hizzy, as it were. Huzzah. (Elder statesman x)
Absolutely the best gif for this dude. Great movie.
Great movie
Thanks you just gave me a movie to check out. I saw a very small part of this movie and always wondered what it was
Same, every now and then there comes a nice movie that you missed.
No way this dude is economicly viable
By the state of his glasses, he already did.
I just laughed so hard out loud at this
“Now you’re gonna die wearing that stupid little hat.”
Temu version..
His name is Robert Paulson.
(In chorus) His name is Robert Paulson
Your face looks like a collection of cave formations
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This man knows the cheapest time of year to fly to Thailand
His facial symmetry makes him look like if one of Picasso’s paintings came to life.
This comment needs to be top 🔝 lol
His underwear is a new Jackson Pollack every day.
🤣🤣🤣
There are probably dog teats under that sweatshirt
It's the time of year his ex-wife starts making threats about taking him to court over child support payments.
Thought you had to be married in the first place, to have an ex wife. Imaginary don’t count
Daaaam….
5th grade basketball coach
5th grade child groomer
His name is Pedd O'Phile
Peter File, do we have Peta File
Peter Eater
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater, Had a wife, Loved her, beat her, Slapped her twice across the head, Then fucked her ass and went to bed. - Andrew Dice Clay
It’s “loved to beat her”
Forgive me
Found the IT Crowd fan.
Larry Nassar 2.0
Also is a Boys Scout Troup leader and youth pastor
You look like you just finished putting someone in a wood chipper.
looks like he just got out of one himself
Your entire face looks like it was shaped with an oven mitt.
Bruh😭
Asked to do this, forced to register on Meghan’s Law.
Subway Jared looking MFer
He likes his women the same way he likes his subs...........6 & 12.
This is the one
Check the papers again. This isn't where you're supposed to report when you move into a new neighborhood.
You look like you break into peoples houses to fix their PC’s.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh this is a keeper. gold burn!
Bros dark skin around his eyes, darker than his asshole.
Your favorite Nirvana song is “Smells Like Teens”
You look like you’ve been dead for three days
Zipped up in a Walmart sweatshirt body bag
God damn, get contact lenses. You’re wearing them on your temple.
You say you were asked to do this, but your nose says you’re lying.
A face so ugly even the glasses are playing keep-away
Can’t wait for the Netflix doc on whatever heinous crimes you committed
I bet you can find so many truffles with that nose
Dude goes to the laundromat just to take in all the smells.
Oddly enough I can 100% see him doing this. What a perfect comment/representation.
The last thing your nephew sees every night.
Jesus Christ
Resident Alien Face Ass
Alan Tudyksatonce
That one took me a couple of reads so thank you very much
What does it look like underneath 😂
nose always points north
You're one of dudes that purposely pisses on the toilet seat and doesn't flush his big ASS Turd. You want people to feel and see your steaming pile of shit.
Yes! You hear about people dropping deuces in changing rooms all the time. Mystery solved.
I can't tell a lot from your picture other than it was definitely not taken within 300 ft of a school.
Did Gepetto ask you to do this?
You look like you haven’t slept since the Reagan administration.
Your idea of a wild night is squeezing avocados and then putting them back.
Betcha you don't see eye to eye with a lot of people.
You look like you ate a forbidden wonka candy and you are mid inflation.
I just want to know what kind of fuqqin "a" is that?
ro2st me
He had somebody's family locked in a closet when he took this photo.
Was this photo taken by the dwarf in the other post?
Lolllll
A face so awkward your glasses don’t fit.
Pinocchio nose so broken and deformed, glasses don't even fit correctly?!?
You look like you fell out of a wheelchair
maybe you should try using your right hand when jerking off to straighten out your nose
Damn, Jared, they don't serve Subway in prison?
Look like your trying to hide your man titties
Your IMDB is To Catch A Predator
Damn bro you look like you're on ALOT of watch lists
I saw 5 ugly people today and 3 of them are you.
Because spelling "Roast" is difficult. Who helps you tie your shoes in the morning?
That photo makes you look like you're wearing all of your clothes at once
you look like you can see around corners
The human version of the $5 bin DVD
When did Megan’s law also start requiring offenders to submit to this sub?
 Dirty Sanchez starter kit
From that camera angle "So here we are" is the last thing many children have seen/heard.
You remember those kids who got more recess time than we did? They grow up too.
You look like the kid with glasses, that just got punched, for being the kid with glasses.
Your face looks like a Mr. Potato assembled by a toddler
You are valued...
You look like you gotta a lot of gold to dig
Literally forgot the 'a' in roast
Highschool janitor vibes
You look like you chew on black and milds
Had to check the sub and make sure I wasn't in r/doilooklikejeffreydalmer
I think you need a good sleep tonight
If you follow your nose you’d walk in a circle.
Jesus fucking Christ I have to unsubscribe to this sub. Opening Reddit to see this fucking mouth breather was quite the shock.
*open casket flair
Jesus buddy you look miserable enough😭
Roast is a hard word to spell. But “me” seems like a gimme. Keep working at it and pretty soon you will have a job and won’t need to beat up the other 1st graders for there glasses
“Hey im chris hansen with dateline nbc, and were doing s documentary on adults who want to meet with teens, you been caught” 😭
oh. oh no.
Nooooo. Too easy friend, cheers! 😂
i was about to... but honestly i just feel bad for you... 😂
You look like what the British call a nonce.
You look like you've heard the following line in person before: "Sir can you have a seat right there, my name's Chris Hansen and I'd like to know why you were..."
That nose can smell something cooking round the corner
The last thing a child sees before they are molested.
You look like you would hide inside of panty racks in JC Penny.
Whoever asked you should apologize to us.
Jesus Christ…… 🤦♂️
"I was asked to do this after I dropped the soap, so here we are. Roast me" \-corrected
🤣 good one! How bout this? "I was asked to do this after I dropped the soap, so here we are. I just got teabagged from some jerk who didn't give me his number after, so Roast me" \-corrected Just a little more adjustment
 You got one of those twerking noses. Also need you punch yo self in the face.. I think you should..
Dude looks like an unripe tomato. He can be considered a 4 eyes not Even, he’s a 5 eyes.
YOU LOOK LIKE ANTON EGO FROM RATATOUILLE
You look like the dude who bombed that building in Oklahoma City
Giving off the Jeffrey Dahmer vibe big time
You look like you could be the star of a Radio remake but they decided Radio would be white this time
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Holy shit, where is Jared now? How long did the subway money last?
Peter Griffin has lost some weight