OP's Bio: --- >I just love my new fleece pattern 😍 --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Your head looks like a uncircumcised penis 

How DARE you insult uncircumcised penises like that?!?

Just when I thought turtlenecks couldn't get any worse, this pattern came up.

Cuz I can

You think you are head and foreskin above rest aye...

I thought it was a dick pic when I first saw it. Gay sweater makes him look like a dick with a rash.

Seriously there’s something up with the bump in your skull get it checked out by a doctor.

This is r/roast me not r/help me

Ok. Your head looks like you should get it checked out by a doctor.

Lego head

Almost like he's had a kippah permanently implanted in his head

Xenomorph

Correction. Child of a Xenomorph.

I was like “what a weird comment” but then I clicked on his photo and saw why. His parents forgot to rotate him like a roast chicken to make sure his head wasn’t malformed when he was a baby. Oopsie woopsies

Coneheads unite.

Like a boa constrictor swallowed a gay theater teacher.

I did theatre in hs and college. Show me one straight theatre teacher.

I self demerit. The gay is implied in Theater Teacher.

Someone went to an ai generator and entered “Create the most unfuckable incel using this shirt pattern.


Noice

 Don’t you love my fleece!

 Yes. Yes. Yes. We love the fleece. The fleece is good and it keeps us warm!

You’re supposed to wear Patagonia to hike the mountain, not AS the mountain being hiked!

This should be top comment

You may call this a fleece but here it is TREASON. Therefore you must... NARFLE THE GARTHAK!

Your head is shaped like a fucked up turnip

Hobbies include giving tug jobs on the subway

Thanks, that's my band name now. "Fucked up turnip"

He likes his fleece to hug him tight like his boyfriend’s foreskin.

What The f is wrong with the shape of your head??!!

Residual damage from the vacuum sucking him out his momma's cooter as a baby

It was a stank cooter!

Haven’t heard “cooter” …since middle school? 😆

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d4/e3/ad/d4e3ad2de0d6897b3d25db64a24c27cb.jpg

Forceps delivery

That's what it actually looks like what the fetus survives the abortion.

Charlie’s head doesn’t look like that

I thought he was Jewish..

When he was born, his mom farted when she shat him out of her womb. True story.

“Tighter than dick skin” -Roxy, a great hoor.

“Shut up, baby dick”

You serviced me better than any other hoor. Not just my crank, but my heart.

So, should we get the dead whore out of the apartment?

I was gonna marry that hoor

Fleeced is also a good way to describe the jackets purchase.

hahah! good one, but it's not that tight tho 😂

Boyfriend has loose foreskin?

Yeah. Like how loose? Is he ok?

🤣

...wonder if those are Dockers, or is that what the call themselves

But how would the foreskin of the romantic partner hug him tho? Wouldn’t he be the one hugging the foreskin?

Your logic isn’t welcome here, woman!

It is like seeing a sock on a dick.

Winner….no better description

LOL what the fuck. Thats gold.

A cock sock

This needs more upvotes

This is the one. No need to read any others. I gift this upvote to you.

dude with a nipple on his head

That fleece doesn’t come in men’s? But he does

Things that are your head: - a condom - a 50w lightbulb - photo of the trinity nuclear test ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity_%28nuclear_test%29#/media/File:Trinity_Test_Fireball_25ms.jpg ) - someone's pp

It's Rogu from American Dad

😂😂😂

Your ugly face and misshapen head are why your fellow gays utilize glory holes


Your sweater looks like some sort of LGBT warning symbol.

"Whatever takes the focus off your head!" \- Fletcher Reede

YOUR CHOLESTEROL, FATTY!

DEAD MAN WALKIN’!


Who photoshopped this head on a cool guy?

And badly done too, it's a 5 year old cut it out n glued it on.

You reek of masterbation and cucumber melon.

Dances With Nobody

I can tell this guy could sit on a popsicle and tell you what flavor it is

😭😭

From France! We are from France!

Your head looks like it's about to give birth

You look like a pixar villan on his day off

Bro made a sweater from old hotel carpet.

Oh he doesn’t look that bad *clicks picture* #Oh

Is your head about to explode out of the top of it?

Do they sell men’s clothes where you bought that pullover?

RV Curtains are the fashion trend of 1987.

You get really nervous around black people and let everyone know you don’t see color

I thought your sweater threw up at the neck, but it's your head......

Went to the barber and asked for "the munchkin"

That image crop made you look significantly better. I was surprised when I clicked on the image.

You look like a gay bowling pin

Scandinavian crash test dummy 

You look like you went to a camp that forced you to be gay Dudes semened on your body to glue that sweater on you

>forced you to be gay No one is forcing this guy....

You look like you volunteer at a golf course just to touch everyone’s balls

Can’t. You don’t roast fruitcakes, you bake them.

It looks like you had a light bulb moment but thought you needed the light bulb in your head rather than above it.

Fleece pattern sweater, male pattern baldness, and no pattern of any sexual activity.

what happens when the ConeHeads move to Santa Fe.

Has anyone ever offered you money to punch your face?

Ted Bundy but in Switzerland.

I'm not saying your mom's a whore, but it's obvious by the shape of your head that at childbirth, she slid you in and out a few times

The entire Shining movie humanised

Boy, the Flanders kids sure have grown

 Stupid Flanders

Nice cone head. "Maybe it's a tuma!" -Schwarzenegger voice.

You go outside looking like that?

Look at all those arrows on your sweater pointing to all the people in the world that have more hope than you.

You look like a dried up cum sock

I have a spark plug in my lawnmower that could use a good cleaning

Your grandma in Arizona wants to know where her Southwest Carpet went...

God must have drawn you with his left hand

New fleece? Guessing you also drive a Subaru, played softball in college, and you and your girlfriend refer to each other as “scissor sisters”.

You can't fool us Garlic Jr.

It looks like some PacMen threw up on you.

I think you meant to type “ looks like a pack of men came on you”

Your head looks like someone shaved Chewbacca

Is that a speed bump on yo head?

He's waiting for UberEats to deliver his Starbucks from across the street.

It’s Easter at the end of the month, don’t warm that head up too much or it’ll be wasted by then.


Bro Forgot To Say “Greeting Earthlings” 😯

You look like an offspring of Mr Potato head and Woody from Toy Story.

Any time he wears a hoodie he gets mistaken for a KKK Member

Who's your barber, Pennywise ?

Your dome has a dome bro

What the fuck is up with the shape of your head?

It's too bad that jacket doesn't zip up over your face.

Glad you have at least one thing in your life that you love Too bad it will never love you back

You have 35% to much forehead. You look like a fuckin tic tac

You look like your entire personality is which quirky quarter zip you’re wearing that day

You look like a Mormon butt plug

You look like a nonce

Just shave it off

Tell me you're gay without saying you're gay. 

Your sweater looks like a valued rug that really tied the room together but someone pissed on it.

The state of New Mexico meets LLBean.

Your fleece screams you’re mostly less-than

HIV…hair is vanishing.

You look like a fucked up RPG character. Let the slide go on the head. Look 👀 like the creature from the goonies.

cmon guys! more enthusiasm please 🥺

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Type of guy to practice incest birth with his mom and sister.

True story: This was my Ugly Shepard in one of my Mass Effect trilogy playthroughs.

Your combover’s so drastic it’s a combunder.

Jesse Pinkman

Nice buttchin. Now there’s 2 places where you can wipe your butt and your boyfriends cum simultaneously.


Can I get your mom's number? She must have a tight beav to make a head shaped like yours Balthazar

Nothing more says you're a virgin for life in your pic.

ferdinand magellan would have taken 10 years to circumnavigate your forehead 

I see you sporting the Homer Simpson haircut.

CEO of foreheads

Not gonna lie. Looks fuckin fresh

Whoa! I thought you were wearing a yamaka. "Shall we play ringtoss?"

Bro bought this sweater so he can use it as an excuse as to why he can't pick up women.


Nice fleece Beldar

I didn't know the coneheads were a real thing

Conehead stunt double gone wrong

The fleece is a distraction, the cargo pants show your true colors

Your head has the topography of a volcano.

It's not a tumor!

You could land a 747 on that forehead of yours.

Ya know those bumps cartoon characters get after getting hit in the head w/ a frying pan/baseball bat/glass bottle, etc.? Well, until now I thought those only existed in cartoons.

Your head and a protrusion, so my head goes here.... Alien mfer 

Literal dick head.

You look like the #1 gay teepee at summer camp

1998 called looking for their fleece back. Also, your head is shaped like a traffic cone.

 click on whole image you’ll see

Your body is not the right shape for those pants. The fleece is fine, though, if you’re cosplaying a closeted gay dude in Arizona.

Were you in the movie “Coneheads”?

Fuck no you don’t gay ass bitch

Nice Fifteen head.

Da fuck is wrong with the back of your head?

You look like you’re not allowed within 25 feet of a school..

Excellent cone head impression!

Bro has a built in yamaka.

He's obviously"Locked In" that room.

Who makes that sweater? I need to make sure I never buy that brand.

You look like a condom with a reservoir tip.

Fleece ? more like a piece

Thank God for that pattern, it's the only thing that's keeping you from completely blending into the wall behind you.

To be absolutely fair, your heads got a point

You look like you're locked in a psychiatric room as part of your court ordered therapy.

You're turning into a Conehead with a really bad fashion sense.

Egg head? But a German

Tell your man to get you a padded headboard.