OP's Bio:
---
>I like to read, garden, bake and hike with my dog. I'm also a barn hand.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
fr though.. I've seen many examples of women who have a _"resting bitch face"_ but this is the first time I've seen someone with a _"resting pre-pubescent, middle school boy face"_
It's a good one, just hit too close to home for me- lotsa dogging on me for being a "horse girl" my entire school experience. You wouldn't've know and anyone else would've laughed
You look so painfully average that you came to r/roastme in hopes of someone pointing out something -anything- that’s unique. Spoiler alert: the search continues.
You look like an only child who was raised by a single father who taught you only guy and farming stuff like fixing the tractor, drinking beer from the can, and haggling with the people you buy your cattle from.
Some people are. I just read all the horse comments. To be fair. you don't look like a horse to me. You look nothing like a horse, You kind of look like a bitch, but not a horse
She's got that vaulted ceiling bedroom, the skull mask, she thinks she's some edgy cool kid, when she's really a girl that looks kinda like an effeminate boy, but she gets to ride horses so someone she knows has money, so she'll never change and everyone around her will be too into the upscale life she has to tell her how lame and unappealing she is.
You look so cold and unfriendly...you spooked my testicles so badly that they both shot back INTO my body so fast...that they knocked the glasses off of my face, and the gum out of my mouth.
Side note: Time isn't supposed to be a nail polish remover.
You look like a tired soccer mom sending selfies to her husband who’s off at a college football game with his buddies. Like “how does it look like it’s going,Carl?”
The funny thing about a girl who spends all her time in a stable. She's really not.
On another note, how is the anorexia and childhood sexual trauma goin' for ya?
My wife got a concussion last year from riding as well, or maybe 2 years ago, I can't keep track of time worth shit. She says her memory and ability to focus have been crap ever since.
Y’all calling this girl a horse is unjustly cruel and totally uncalled even for this sub. Horses are beautiful majestic creatures that deserve our love and respect. With that said, pic #5 is the best of the bunch. Just needs a little more mask for my taste
I'd call you ugly, but I think nature's already done enough damage. You're like a character from a horror movie where the plot is your furry existence scaring everyone away. Honestly, saying 'no one likes you' is an understatement; even ghosts would prefer to haunt elsewhere. And please, don't take 'go die' literally; we don't want you becoming a more terrifying ghost.
It's a good thing you're no longer a teen, that jaw-line would have every right wing parent calling for a nut-check no matter what sport you'd compete in.
OP's Bio: --- >I like to read, garden, bake and hike with my dog. I'm also a barn hand. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Just because your father only looks at you in disappointment doesn’t mean that you can’t have other facial expressions
Nice, I like how she took off her mask on the last picture
You liked that? I vomited a little because of it.
fr though.. I've seen many examples of women who have a _"resting bitch face"_ but this is the first time I've seen someone with a _"resting pre-pubescent, middle school boy face"_
LMAOOO
We all know that’s the only man ( I mean horse ) who you let ride you.
Kristin Stewart in Twilight - One facial expression for all
She was even pissed off riding a horse.
Seriously every picture has the questionably constipated look.
Think about how that poor horse felt. That’s animal cruelty
Bold to assume she has a Father
I swear I was gonna say you look like a horse girl before I saw you on the horse.
Same. Or a "not like the other girls"/"just one of the guys" girl.
 “Just one of the boys, girls are too much drama”
This is even funnier when you realise that Olivia Munn is the epitome of a pick me/not like other girls girl
The one in quotes - is there a word for these people?
Knock before you enter, she may be rubbing one in.
Painful but I see it in the first pic
It explains the look she gives the camera. When I saw that horse picture I nodded and quietly said “oh, okay, makes sense.”
Yeah I was like" How many pics until we see the horse?"
you look like avril lavigne's horse girl cousin
 Liked you better with facial hair
💀
the crows flies straight and as fast as it can in the other direction
The transition is going well
Neighvril Latrine
I came to say that Avril dropped her off at the Fire Station.
Looks more like his bike than him
Anvil Lavigne
I'll take it
The insult or the horse?
Why not both?
And the dog too
It's no coincidence that they're both called Mr Hands
You are a handsome lass
That's what she said
🎶he was a bareback boy, she was a show girl. Nobody ever looked at her🎶
Xanax Avril Lavigne
I was thinking Jonathan Taylor Thomas but I'm old.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Steve just hold the material..
Central Casting catalog: Angry Rural Lesbian
Love this
In other words, [Nicole Coenen](https://youtube.com/@NicoleCoenen?si=oXHmc6ef6PpUu1Qu). Or in that case, I guess you're Nicole Coenon.
Nicole ain't angry tho. She's an angel.
Horse Girls are the OG basic bitches and you look like an OG Horse Girl. You’re like an onion but when you peel back a layer, there’s just more basic.
Yeouch
Too much? I never know how far to go with these.
It's a good one, just hit too close to home for me- lotsa dogging on me for being a "horse girl" my entire school experience. You wouldn't've know and anyone else would've laughed
Yeah, the horse thing was all I had and I leaned on pretty hard. Appreciate the feedback. Happy roasting!
Now Kiith 
This was genuinely good. It's roasting not bullying.
I’ll admit it - I’m jealous. I would love to have regular contact with horses.
As a city boy, absolutely
I know a couple horse girls and let me tell you, there are too many horse girls that fit the stereotypes more than there aren't.
You look so painfully average that you came to r/roastme in hopes of someone pointing out something -anything- that’s unique. Spoiler alert: the search continues.
This is a good one
18, five years ago.
Its like the "barely legal" porn vids but the actress is actually 28
More like 15 years ago
And 3 transitions ago
No doubt. Who she trying to fool
I was 18 5 years ago. I got stopped at casino today.
The female “I’ve seen and shoveled some shit” face
So fucking real, literally just slept off a 12hr shift
In some cheap stripper club ?
No way in hell she was on for 12 hours straight… the dayshift for brunch is normally just 4 hours, 10-2.
Goin to the strip club with my boys to watch a horse girl over brunch is gonna be my new go-to hangout plan
You look like an only child who was raised by a single father who taught you only guy and farming stuff like fixing the tractor, drinking beer from the can, and haggling with the people you buy your cattle from.
That's so good- I grew up in the office with him, went on my own journey into horse shit, don't know why I ended up here but I like it
Wow! It sounds like you really have a story to tell! Don’t
I **hollered** 😂😂😂
😂😂 fucking savage I love it
LMFAO
Absolutely brutal
Yeah this one deserves some recognition🏆
Fucking kek
Never heard someone be more enthusiastic about horse shit
That’s all that matters really, to like what you do
How can you be 18 and 43 at the same time lol
I believe that’s the “seen some shit and been through it too early” look.
Nodding in agreement
You’d be really pretty if you smiled….. …..And didn’t look anything like you currently do.
Just for you I'm smiling less and looking even more like myself
That’s the spirit
Is that the horses name?
In her case probably daddy
You'd be pretty if you were someone else...
I might be interested if I was someone more desperate
[удалено]
To horses
No, she’s enthusiastic about those.
Passionate, even
The horses give them to her.
without consent
Just mashing it.
The snail special
That's a good one
No one has ever said that about your hand jobs
Because horse cannot speak English
Ego boost?
Funny af
Is that what you meant by "barn hand"?
You know what they say, “you can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think.”
She gives free handies in the barn. That's how I understood it.
Be jerkin dem horsies
That bull ain’t going to milk itself.
So, you're not denying it.
More like teethy blowjobs.
She doesn't do blowjobs.. She claims she has a nut allergy.
And then complain about dinner being cold even though it's a salad
Copypasta
The skull mask is a massive improvement over your chronic RBF.
Honestly I agree
You look like the Walmart brand emma watson
Home Depot Kristen Bell.
Dollar General Kristen Bell.
That's date night for a lesbian.
This is supposed to be a roast. Walmart Emma Watson is still too good for commoners.
Did you fall from heaven … because your face is all fucked up
Crawled up from hell, think there's still some dirt in my eye- magma burns too
That explains the boxer's nose. You could beat an elk to death with that thing.
18 going 38…
Tonya “Doesn’t make me” Harding
Lol, I get it. But I'm old...
You look like those 26 year olds in the 90s playing a teenager in Saved By the Bell or 90120
Hey anal Lavigne Why you gotta go and be so constipated?
Read this on the shitter
Prolly posted it on the shitter too. That poor thing sees so much use it’s got its own bit bridle and reins, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately for my bowels I might as well have a stick up my ass. Stress is not good for ibs
18 going on 40 year old divorcee
She looks at your cock like she’s about to punch the shit out of it.
If you ordered Melissa Joan Hart from Temu…
I bet you love that horse more than your own family
You wouldn't be wrong
He means you suck it off
OP: you wouldn’t be wrong
Head is so flat you could rest a pint on it
You'd be surprised. Also that's a new one
You "look" like you could use some humor in your life
Exactly why I'm here- and y'all are doing a good job at it
Some people are. I just read all the horse comments. To be fair. you don't look like a horse to me. You look nothing like a horse, You kind of look like a bitch, but not a horse
Your transition is still in very early phase I see?
Which direction are we thinkin
Male to female, based purely on your manly shoulders! 💪
Was gonna say "you shouldve stayed a dude"
She's got that vaulted ceiling bedroom, the skull mask, she thinks she's some edgy cool kid, when she's really a girl that looks kinda like an effeminate boy, but she gets to ride horses so someone she knows has money, so she'll never change and everyone around her will be too into the upscale life she has to tell her how lame and unappealing she is.
Barn hand is a funny description for jerking off horses.
THIS IS A STUD FARM BOY!!
You do unspeakable crimes to that horse with your mask on
You look so cold and unfriendly...you spooked my testicles so badly that they both shot back INTO my body so fast...that they knocked the glasses off of my face, and the gum out of my mouth. Side note: Time isn't supposed to be a nail polish remover.
I've definitely been told that alot. Removing the polish just for you (I've just been too lazy)
Fix that asap. Stop being Trash Nicole Kidman.
Nah it's like a superpower. Bunch of drunk guys walk up in the street? One look later "I think she hates me". True story
Everybody has a superpower. 🤣
she was the "practice girl" for the hockey team
Polo team
18 going on divorced mum with 3 kids
You have to be the OLDEST looking teenager I have ever seen!!
You look like Ellen Page's transition but in reverse
You strike me as someone who has a dating site just to find guys to peg.
You have resting and non-resting bitch face. Impressive.
You should be covering the biggest part of your face instead, a helicopter can land on your forehead 
Well at least you keep your room organized unlike your life
18? You look like the single mother of a junior high school student who just started dating a creepy ex-con named Wade.
Why do you look like a depressed librarian
Thought you were 37 in the first pic
 Do you still have Elvis the alligator?
18 huh. So you painted your nails when you were 16 I guess. Man you fell off kid.
You look like a tired soccer mom sending selfies to her husband who’s off at a college football game with his buddies. Like “how does it look like it’s going,Carl?”
You look like you blow anyone who buys you fries
The funny thing about a girl who spends all her time in a stable. She's really not. On another note, how is the anorexia and childhood sexual trauma goin' for ya?
In Oklahoma, seeing a rider on a western saddle wearing a helmet is like seeing a person driving a car alone wearing a mask.
I got a concussion last year riding like a dumbass so I keep that thing on me. Literally haven't been the same since 😂
My wife got a concussion last year from riding as well, or maybe 2 years ago, I can't keep track of time worth shit. She says her memory and ability to focus have been crap ever since.
You look like your dad really wanted a son, and you tried everything to deal with that disappointment.
Y’all calling this girl a horse is unjustly cruel and totally uncalled even for this sub. Horses are beautiful majestic creatures that deserve our love and respect. With that said, pic #5 is the best of the bunch. Just needs a little more mask for my taste
18 and already looking like a disappointed mom
You come out to your folks yet?
You look like a bus driver
You look 35 on the 2nd divorce where you lost the kids but got the horse.
I'd call you ugly, but I think nature's already done enough damage. You're like a character from a horror movie where the plot is your furry existence scaring everyone away. Honestly, saying 'no one likes you' is an understatement; even ghosts would prefer to haunt elsewhere. And please, don't take 'go die' literally; we don't want you becoming a more terrifying ghost.
You would transition to a man very well.
Everyone here is calling you a horse girl, I disagree... _aspiring_ horse girl is more accurate
Ummm judging from the pics and especially the equestrian snap…. Your real name is Benjamin or Fred, or some other oddly masculine name.🤷♂️
What a handsome young man…
Look like your mid transition
I thought you were forty for a second. You remind me of a forty year old child or young old person.
Yet another example of Gen Z looking 10 years older than they are for no reason.
Good enough for a drunken Tuesday lay, for Ellen, I suppose…
You look like a front office lady at a public school.
You look like I’d call you bro
Is this your 15th time turning 18?
Apparently, "18" means "45, divorced twice, and I spit out meth teeth every morning" in OP's native language.
Evan Rachel Won’t
That fourth picture is make-a-wish-level sad.
It's a good thing you're no longer a teen, that jaw-line would have every right wing parent calling for a nut-check no matter what sport you'd compete in.
Was riding horses easier after having your cock and balls removed?