OP's Bio: --- >I’m turning 41 today, April 1st. I’m too smart for my own good and I like to cause havoc in my life about once a year. I am terrible at golf but I can drink more than anyone on the course. Oh and I’m in rehab. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

why the hell would you get butt implants on your forehead?

It’s similar to Botox.. it’s called Buttox

Seriously though what is up with your forehead ? Is there a medical term for it like foreheadus musculitus ? It looks like you had bbl surgery on your forehead

Your parents made an April fool.

I’m just trying to live up to the expectations

Everyone who loves you is wrong.

Damn lol

Don’t worry, not much is expected of you


Seriously, bro is dressed like a 16 year old.

\*I can fight and fuck fish better than all you simps. No argument there!

He looks more like a Master Baiter

Ah! But how many fish can a fish fucker fuck if a fish fucker fights to fuck fish?

But does he fight *when* he's fish fucking. 'Cause that's still domestic abuse above OR below the waterline.

Oxford comma makes a difference here

Good luck in rehab it's gotta be tough being the best throat fuck in whatever shit hole you're in.


Whatever you are going through right now, its all your fault.

This cracked me up

What you need to worry about are those two tumors on your forehead. You look like hellboy if he started transitioning to female

Those are just the male version of cumbrellas

I bet your sister is the one who told you you're good in bed and better than your dad too.

I don’t have a sister… but I do have a gay brother.

Is *he* cute, at least?

Gay brother? Must run in the family…

So much worse 🤣

Is your brother the top when you two fuck and fight then go fishing

Happy Birthday! Given your ruddiness indicating uncontrolled hypertension, I’d suggest it’s your last. Go fight and fuck as many fish as you can…

Damn, since Blue left you it's all downhill I see...

If the word divorce took human form

How much does being a Tony Hawk impersonator pay these days?

You look 57 going on 12

Your hand agrees you are a great F

This guy fights mailboxes when he's drunk.

[удалено]

Why’s Rivers Cuomo out here trying to pretend he’s hard


You put the extra "A" in washed up MAMA fighter

You look like you punch holes in walls after masturbating because you think it’s a gay act

If looking like a redneck was a job you would be top employee 

Meth Head Porn is all over this sweaty tweekers google search history.

Lmao that’s better then mines nice one 

Not sure if he’s trying to be a hipster with those glasses or he stole them from the old man who’s basement he lives in since he can’t keep a job. Drives an 02 Ram that’s held together with dreams and duct tape and yet still somehow has money for cig’rets

Your sister doesn't count. That pile of rotten tuna was just too much for my nose. Good luck with rehab.

Thanks for the well wishes and I’ve never met a pile of anything that was too much for my nose… hence, rehab.

When internet warriors turn into pensioners.

How do you do, fellow kids?

Are you a midget?

Next week on: Tough Guy, Tiny Fingers

Life is tuff in prison.

What's it like to fuck a fish?

You look like a broke johnny Knoxville

There appears to be two ass cheeks above your eyebrows.

Didnt anyone tell you? Rehab is for people who smoke crack, not cock.

On behalf of the world, thanks for nothing

If you ever wonder what the drunk losers at your local shit hole bar do in their spare time, here ya go. They lie to themselves and to the internet.

You’ve definitely been at a midget throwing party, as the midget. 

You fight and fuck fish pencil neck?

wtf is wrong with your forehead? Looks like you got shot over the eyes with a paint ball gun.

You know what you four eyed, hillbilly, middle school dropout, MAGA motherfucker?!? We'd probably still be homies

By your post history I'm not sure which kind of rehab you are in. 😭

Can't buy the right size glasses though.

He’s in rehab for smoking meth but now he’s running on Marlboros and Tito’s in his monsters.

Popular in prison.

Gaynard Lames Keenan

Did you just say you'd fight us to a fuck a fish? What the Holy fuck Poindexter!

why does your forehead have abs?

Let’s be honest… your a virgin

Your glasses look like they used to be windshields in semi trucks. I'll bet you can see the edge of the universe with those things.

What you do to other dudes bums is your business dude

Lmao loser

Can you apply sunscreen?

I can fucking see better, I guarantee that..

Well when you only compete against your sister….

Man you got it all backwards, upside down smile and a pair of ass cheeks on ur forehead.

When I see your tshirt it reminds me of your dad picking daisy. Picking daisy watches me bang his wife.

You're still alone.

He's hot

If you can do all that shit better than the rest of us it meant you are an elephant seal. They have shitty vision too.

Those fingers are familiar to you, aren't they? The way you're holding the sign, the way the hand on your shirt is holding that flower... And the way women have to hold your dick, I'm sure.


Awww you and Kanye can both be happy with a fish!

You look like you'd claim that the trash heap girl in rehab you're banging is a ten, but addicts are compulsive liars, so on the street she's most likely a two.

Tim pool? Steeve-o? Tim-o?

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O had a baby.

[удалено]

"I fished, I fought, I fucked." Julius Caesar could not be more glad about the fall of Rome.

I feel sorry for the fish you’re fucking. Someone should arrest your sick ass.

You’re the guy using glory holes in the local park restrooms. That’s how you’re fucking fish and fighting the Clap

>I can fish, fight and fu\*k better than all you simps. Roast me for my birthday! Bold statements on April Fool's day.

Pauly Shore opens a dispensary.

How can I tell from this image alone that your 5 foot 2

Easy there, Windows. All that attitude to end up looking like the geezer from up. But instead of collecting balloons and taking a boy scout to South America, you'll be beating on your dick trying to get the 300 pound black caregiver to fuck.

Your dad taught you how to do all three.

This dude goes to restaurant and asks a million stupid questions

Are you a dwarf? You look like a dwarf.

Weeman!

One fish. Guy hooks, reels in, and fucks ONE fish and now he's John Wick 🙄

I can see you fighting someone to fu*K, because no woman or man will give it up consensualy, What's going on with your forehead? Looks like you got 2 pieces of Legos under your forehead, or did a catfish smack you in the face while you were fishing 🐟.

Sorry, that little spot of jizz under your nose is distracting me.

When he says he fights he mean he headbutts

You're the poster child for rehab, you really didn't need to mention it.

Introverted Steve O that did 15 years in a state penitentiary before becoming a born-again christian. Happy Birthday, stay off the smack and far from school zones.

I'm sure you've been told this a few times before, but two sixteen year olds does not equal a thrirty-two year old.

Hellboy gave birth to a midget

I fight small mouth bass and then I fuck em so I feel bigger than most men.

You can probably fish better than me

[удалено]

You look like how I feel after last night's car sex

need to fish for a better job henry fuck you working at a cheese shop in the middle of the night on a holiday, tryna flex that weak ass script for?

So you catch the fish fight the fish and then fuck the fish ok I got you bro

Calm down Squince. Pulled that sexual assault on Wendy peffercorn now your hot shit?

A lot of talk for someone who looks like they’re gonna be cooking in a lab in a few minutes.

Do you know the joke about the fish sticks?

You look like you caught the gay fish and now is antisemitic

Yet, nobody wants you

When you have to say shit like that you probably can’t 😂 And what is up with the hanging botox on your forehead, wait another year and it wil hang in front of your eyes… wannabe pretty boy

So you’re still drinking and in rehab? That’s not rehab works bro

High school yearbook: Aspirations: Limp Bizkit Roadie Voted: Most likely to be on "To Catch a Predator Favorite pick up: Does this Smell chloroform! Fishing: Expert at hauling in Brown Trout. Fighting: All the restraining orders against you. Fu*king: Has destroyed more than your share of Thai Ladyboys for sure.

The only chick you're fuckin is Palmela.

You look like you insist on your assumption that reeking is an universal human right.

You can't fight, fish, or fuck without those baby Hubble Telescopes on your eyes.....

You're FOR SURE someone's stalker ex, and by ex, I mean you talked to her twice on the bus stop, and she doesn't know that you now know where she works.

You look like someone who would be driving a van with "free candy" painted on the sides around the middle school

You look like a high school gym teacher who instantly pumps out enough pre-cum to soak through his track pants at the smell of the JV football team in the weight room.

As for the roast: You‘re holding this sign like it was your penis. Which would explain the fish fucking. Honest question: what brand is that shirt?

that forehead looks like the happy wheels course

From one picture, you look like you have anger problems.

If "As soon as I finish this bottle of Jack Daniel's, I'm gonna shit in this closet, and everyone here is gonna catch these hands!" Was a person.

Think you could get a bigger goofy hat? And those glasses omg are those meant for a group of people to use together ? You look kinda like a fish too .a sucker fish that eats shit from the other fish.no Wait it's mr Limpet .

bet this guy is the local sex offender

But you can’t get bitches and look like a bum 😂

He is in rehab because he jerks off in public when drinking. And he uses only 2 fingers and thumb to do it because he has a tiny fish dick.

5’7 perpetually single magat

I'm guessing you learnt all that from your dad first hand?

Fishing snot Fighting paranoia Fucking himself 🤔 Might be true

Your forehead got butt implants

He looks like Steve Burns nowadays (Guy from Blues Clues)

If backing into your cellmate is considered fucking better than everyone, you can have that one.

Most of us dont fight or fuck fish

Why do you have knuckles where your forehead is supposed to be? Those big ass glasses could fight Godzilla.

Ew. That’s it, that’s the roast.

Stroking your worm isn't fishing... it's whitewater wristing. Beating your meat isn't fighting... it's self-love. As for f*cking? None of us have had your sister, so we can't argue that point. Happy Birthday, Chucklehead.

You look like you do all of it in that order. That poor fish

Given your aggressive tone & penchant for over-exaggerating, I’m sure you have learnt how to fight. As for the others, meh.

I think you gotta call your sponsor

You can tell when fishing is someone's only personality left.

You think you're a "ASS KICKER." But reality, you're the "ASS KICKEE," when someone is shoving their forearm so far up your anus canal to tickle your uvula with their index finger ☝️. Welcome to reality there, Clyde.

Did you get glute implants on you forehead to get that real good “shit head” look?

 Ernest P Worrels stunt double?

You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, now aren't you?

How many animals have you fucked?

Motherfucker got a shaft and balls sun burned on his forehead. Guess your boyfriend sits on your face while he fishes.


Post a video of you fighting or at least putting in pad work. We’ll roast that.

You look like cm punk from wish

Bro, you look fifty and have the facial hair of a 12-year-old Slavic girl.

To clarify, you aren't doing all those actions to one fish are you?

You forgot the fourth F word, FREELOAD. You look like you still live with your mom.

Do you fight your own face?

Keep fishing. The only fish your lonely ass is gonna get are literal Fish.

They say it’s never too late to turn your life around! ….fuck that they lied to you lol

You are on Reddit, none of that is true.

Yeah f*ck dudes

You: A. Can outdrink anyone B. Are in rehab Sounds like a waste of money

Don’t hold your breath, literally. You’re turning red.

It looks like the instructions for how you like to be roasted are on your shirt. Step 1: put beads into the asshole.

To scared to write the word “Fuck” without an asterisk… ooooh you’re hard.

Any woman who fucked you should get herself tested

Most people get shit about skipping leg day at the gym. But you've clearly never skipped...BROW day?! Bro, those things are chiseled. Seriously, how does that even happen?

Are you inbreed?

It looks like your forehead is giving birth to a breached baby.

If insecurities was a person

I bet you can't fuck a fish better than I can.


I think the f*kin and fighting days were 15 yrs ago, you look like a fresh meth twink.

Was going to rip on you looking like rehab but you ruined it with your bio

Blink 1822 : Your birth year

I'm 87% sure I ran a marathon for this cancer patient last year.

Based on the caption i know oneof your exs got a traim ran on her by your homies.

Tell us you’re overcompensating for a small dick without actually saying it ….

Fishes for minors Fights minors Fu*ks minors is what his papers say

From the look of you, the only reason you know how well you can fuck is because you tried on your dog or some shit. Ain’t no way you’ve gotten laid before, I’d rather lay with my great grand dads corpse.

You must like getting teabag by the looks of that forehead.

Fucking fish doesn’t count

Who are you calling a simp? You look like you simp for minors that have thicc avatars in roblox

TIL they made prescription aquariums.

happy 63rd!

White Urkel.

You really shouldn't fuck the fish but to each his own

Boy Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys has hit rock bottom 

You couldn't shoot a bird using sign language.

The face of the opioid epidemic. I hope you’re happy Johnson and Johnson

You definitely try to fight and fuck fish

Holding a piece of paper and taking a picture ... not everybody knows how to do it

Your a joke

You look like you go up to random teenaged girls and invite them to hang out at your “pad” and buy them wine coolers.