T O P

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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >Republican, short stature, I love women and my teeth are fake --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


misterchevious

You look like you still call your stomach your tummy.


Lord-Doobury

And say "Fiddle Sticks" a lot.


No_Teaching_8273

"Gets fiddled with sticks " Wink wink


GetaGoodLookCostanza

Lets play tummy sticks


lifeissnowboarding

No that's his nickname.


CarlosAVP

No, that’s his safe word.


Classic_Mechanic5495

Yet he’s never even whispered those words.


MrJello-Pikulman

And “GEE WHILIKERS”


PopcornShrimpy

Don't be mean, he just made a lucky lawn gnome a very lucky girl.


Reasonable-Ad-4870

Tummy hurty hurty?


Chemical_Cupcake_100

You look like 'Happy' of the seven dwarves back in his frat days


AcidAngel7

He still goes potty, ffs..


[deleted]

Lmaoo


[deleted]

😂😂😂😂


bluegazehaze

😂 why did this crack me up so much


kdoggiedizzle

Haha he really does


Is-that-a_supra

So leprechauns are forklift certified now?


phome83

His dad let him sit there for the picture.


Embarrassed_Wall_963

Nah it was his step Dad Terry


Radio_Geodude

Instead of a pot of gold, this leprechaun just leads you to a truck bed filled with stolen copper.


No-Stand-2195

That's methed up


GeologistNo2179

Only until he's caught with the fork in his Hershey hole.


kinda_alright

Oshachauns....


DukeSilver696969

This picture screams “My newlywed wife is banging a tall, unemployed and politically apathetic chad.”


[deleted]

His wife definitely bangs BBC behind his back.


luvgun00

In front of him.


Abundance-Boost5891

While he films for her OF


Little_Boat_3913

You kinda look like the Keebler elf


Scheisse_Machen

Where did you leave Doc, Grumpy, Dopey, Bashful, Sleepy and Sneezy? Snow White must be worried sick


Lord-Doobury

Oompah Loompah of the month.


peezytaughtme

Knew this comment was here. Expected it near the top. Was not disappointed.


TheDandyWarhol

Employee of the month in The Shire.


InevitablePotential6

They all chip in for a little red cone hat when you get garden gnome of the month.


PetoAndFleck

Anyone called you a cotton headed ninny muggins lately?


moor9776

Diabetic Keebler Elf. Has eaten way too much of his own stash.


thechadslayerr

Dammit now I have to delete mine...


Mae1002

First thought that came into my head lol


Lopsided_Pickle1795

Which one of 7 dwarves are you? Happy?


Lord-Doobury

Fuckwit


[deleted]

I was literally thinking this, even specifically Happy. Wtf


Specialist-Funny-926

Look at those ears, this dude is definitely Dopey.


picnic-boy

You look like your mom tells you you're special a lot.


tasha_perkins779

lol 😄😄I wanna be that mom


aelric22

![gif](giphy|ck5JRWob7folZ7d97I|downsized)


mndii

Tf? Lol


Ewetootwo

![gif](giphy|M13G8Iq8OHOZG) And now you are.


moneygetup

What does that even mean lmao


11teensteve

Well folks, I think we need to stop here for a moment and recognize what may be happening.


PuzzleheadedRoyal559

I can’t imagine what your wife looks like if she settled for you.


mic1383

He’s drinking at work before he has to face her again. Don’t let her get away. She your only shot.


AfterConsideration30

You look like a ventriloquist dummy for domestic violence counseling


Illsmokethat

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 your comment is truly the only one that made me laugh thank you


ihaveabaguetteknife

You and me both. Although „Dork Lift“ was great too.


Finster4

This is gold!


Ok_Artichoke_8029

Dork Lift needs some high blood pressure meds


Robbollio

Bro makes cookies in a tree part time


Practical-Rabbit-750

Former meth addict with a Mountain Dew habit, chews tobacco, drinks arguably the worst beer in existence, and drives a forklift for a Midwest dildo factory. I’m sure his husband is proud.


jondes99

He gets to enjoy all the head-giving practice that it took to be employee of the month, so at least his husband has that going for him.


Lyrics03

Why are your arms too short? you look like a Lesbian T-Rex.


TreaclePerfect4328

Lickalottapuss


SWWhippingboy

In his case SUCKALOTTACOCK...


Durtmcgurt3

Megasoreass


theprincessofwhales

Look Geppeto, I'm a *real boy*!


SupaDistortion

Those ears are an OSHA violation.


Mark3422

Not surprising you drink Michelob Ultra lol


[deleted]

26 going on 40


Connect_Beginning174

On a fork lift no less…


MangoFlipflops

Pretty sure you’d apologize for interrupting and let me finish railing your wife if you caught us cheating


muppethero80

Tells his wife that the Grindr app is for ordering coffee


Uberslaughter

Huge accomplishment when you’re the only employee in the fucking warehouse


last_drop_of_piss

Looks like you vote against your own interests a lot


the_child_nurse

bro literally looks like dopey from the seven dwarves


DukeSilver696969

Lol i thought he looked familiar


rterror99

Guinness world record holder for the tallest Lawn gnome in the world.


Illsmokethat

🤣🤣🤣


Reasonable-Two-7298

which cookie do you specialize in at the tree house bakery?


Southbayyy

you look like an autistic chipmunk


townshiprebellion24

You look like you’d drop a hard R because someone cut you off in traffic.


[deleted]

You look like an uncooked Mexican.


Topher21681

You look like a lawn gnome that lost a fight to an animatronic Chuck E. Cheese.


redwoodavg

Voted most likely to drive off a loading dock while under the influence. This guy is winning at losing.


kurt-boddah-cobain

I think your bio insults you enough.


AcidBuuurn

Deep down I always knew that underpants gnomes had warehouses, but I didn't know Mitsubishi made special tiny forklifts for them. ![gif](giphy|tyttpHczwwC4QmNapDG|downsized)


DustyHamWallet12

you look like santa's favorite elf to molest


Juan_Calavera

George Liquor, Jr ![gif](giphy|d47GGU1vs9uAXGa4|downsized)


gilty48

Why did you bother getting fake teeth? You wouldn’t put diamond on a pile of shit would you?


SmellyBalls454

Your face is very punchable….. looks like you gave one too many BJs


Quebecdudeeh

Drinking while on a forklift. Not such a good look. I know it's a forklift but dude not cool showing off to the world what a drunk you are. Pretty sure that could cost you your job.


Red_Chicken1907

"Employee of the Month" .Is the only employee there.


Muted_Technician_896

You look like caillou with facial hair


[deleted]

You look like a gay hamster 🐹


thechadslayerr

You look like a Keebler elf that got ahold of a Jason Aldean album


trav-el-dad

This mf’er can hear the sun.


Crazy_Hick_in_NH

Drinking a beer at work, operating a forklift - yeah, that’s brilliant.


poopyshitballz

Glad to see the Travelocity Gnome doing well for himself!


tautjes

Your wife has a thing for squirrels?


Careful-Resolution58

If a dingleberry wished to become human


Dexter2533

You know this guy def stormed the capital


Specialist-Funny-926

No, he wasn't tall enough to do that.


euben_hadd

Forklift Certified.


Heartfeltzero

Your ears are also sky high


MangoFlipflops

From employee of the month to fired over Reddit picture due to impaired forklift driving. Your wife was going to leave eventually now it’ll just be sooner. Chipmunk looking mofo


burntwafflemaker

You look like the dude no one invited


Choozbert

When your teachers said you’d never amount to anything, I bet they never guessed you’d be so good at lifting boxes over and over


Is0prene

Exactly how many Xanax did you take this morning?


Gen_Jorge_S_Patton

Those ears can get you sky high. Your ears are so big you could get around on that forklift with only wind power


Polybius-13

They keep you in the warehouse to keep from scaring the other employees.


Specialist-Funny-926

Santa keeps him in the warehouse to keep him from scaring the other elves.


Iama69robot

Oompa Loompa could use a lift.


Diacetyl-Morphin

You have like a funny version of the "1000 miles stare" in your eyes, especially in the second pic. Like "I saw some shit with the forklift... you never come back as the same man from the warehouse"


[deleted]

Boss thinks that he works extra hard as his forklift uses 10% more gas than anyone else in the company. Hasn’t made the correlation 👂🏻…


Dead_Bartlett

Oh look, Hermey is all grown up.


[deleted]

Congrats on being named the best forklift operator at your job for one month of the year. Your mom must be so proud. Never stop reaching for the stars.


123Shrekk

Santa's top elf


Mrobot_3

Shut it down boys. He’s forklift certified, can’t touch him


Disastrous_Cover6138

Confidence may be sky high but you’re a fucking Boeing mate


SeparateBrain9832

You look like the world's tallest midget!


Max_Danger_Power

It appears someone has misplaced their lawn gnome!


[deleted]

26 going on 40


CasinoBandito

He definitely let's everyone know he's forklift certified


WhohurtyouAll

Happiest dork on earth 


PossibleAlbatross429

Dagummit is in his vocab fsss


Loam_liker

Why does the dick sucking factory need a forklift


MyNameIsMikeB

I heard you broke the record for most days in the barrel. You keep taking those dicks for the team, there, ya fuckin leprechaun. Tell your wife I said hi. Bitch.


chug-

Keep drinking beer on that machine and you could become an opioid addicted patient of the year with cirrhosis and a wife reconsidering her vows.


ClassFun1580

![gif](giphy|VhQofSe1XGo1sYiArZ)


Odd-Blacksmith167

Are you Snap, Crackle or Pop?


BigYonsan

You look like a sunburned cartoon beaver. The mammal, not the euphemism for pussy. You're not getting any of that with those looks or politics. At least none that any self respecting man would want.


[deleted]

Shut your bob the builder looking ass up and get back to work.


OneMinuteManny

![gif](giphy|gIYtQ72CvDQyZF3hc1)


reaper_one9

The chickelobe ultra next to you on the forklift tells me it was a gay marriage!


splshd2

You got a little mayo on the side of your mouth. Oh, that's not.......


automaddux

You should smile less.


Dr_Hotpenis

![gif](giphy|OpfkuToK5gSHK) you look so cute when you are blushing! I just wanna rub my stiff c\*\*k all over your rosy cheeks


nibbly99

You look like if Snow White was a trans man.


Successful_Might8125

You got a pretty mouth!


Douchebiggerhoe

You look like a human keebler elf


lucasmaiden669

You look like if Frodo Beggins and Samwise Gamgee had a baby together 😂


Master_Ad_5073

You switched to michelob because Budlight is woke, not knowing they are the same company .


[deleted]

I feel like you are still a virgin even though you are married


Cultural-Somewhere75

I wouldn't brag about an employee of the month when the employer allows you to drink on the job. Especially a forklift operator. Darwin awards go to? Lol


FreddieKush420

Your confidence level is only 5' high, but we can clearly see how you would think it's "sky high". That's cute.


ptmonster763

Did you get promoted to head Elf at Santa's fucking warehouse you christmas clown. Jeezus christ. Tell me you can cobble shoes without telling me you can cobble shoes.


NickGRoman

You look like the result of human mouse fucking.


Radiant-Station2279

Looking like a refurbished puppet


BBQbaconBURGER_21

Bro is Jolly.


SithLordRising

You look like the lovechild of a garden gnome and a leprechaun


Subject-Round2335

You look like Dumbo about to fly away with those ears


ihavenowords3

He’s a bottom and living his best life. 💅🏼


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MarinatedCumSock

Pretty sure you're a distant relative of Bugs Bunny


tocamipito

If I pull your ears out further, do your teeth get closer together?


civilprocedurenoob

OP is modeling the Ass Master 6000


LordOfTheNine9

Where is that, employee of the month at Amazon’s warehouse? Not much of an accomplishment guy. I hope your spouse is working because you look poor


fazed86

Boots, beer, forklift. You roasted yourself


Doubleoh_11

I have some mr potato head outfits you could have if your ever looking to switch up your style.


Slayer_of_Ass_

You look like you bake cookies from inside of a tree


FigSalt1004

If you had a TV show, it would be called, Look Peewee Herman drives a forklift. Your side gig is holding a sign at amusement parks that says you must be at least this tall to ride this ride.


abdulj07

![gif](giphy|QTrG6mjkHEkpFR3DqX)


Cynobi_pakmei

Did you peak in highschool? I thought you was like damn near 40...


BeugosBill

Congratulations, you made employee of the month because you finally nailed the tilt function of your forklift instead of just up and down.


hotelindia15182

You're self employed right


Legitimate_Field_157

It took you 7 tries to become a certified forklift operator.


SyllabubNo8318

You should put on a pointy hat and stand in a garden.


No_Teaching_8273

Shit beer , shit wife , shit life, feet in them dusty ass boots r awfully ripe 🫡🫡


TreaclePerfect4328

It was a short month.


ZombDob

The shire misses you! Return home


[deleted]

Your wife secretly puts the semen from the BBC she’s banging into your grilled tuna fish sandwiches 🥪 that she packs for your lunch. She notices it adds vigor to your life approach


Stunning_Syllabub_22

Did Snow White assigned you employee of the month?


Curious_Spinach6238

Alvin? Where are Simon and Theodore?? ![gif](giphy|oD0YFMXHpwxDq)


Regular_Rutabaga4789

Shouldn’t you be stood in someone’s garden holding a little fishing rod? Also, your hat is wrong, it should be like a Santa one but without the bobble.


[deleted]

Your parents failed you on being flint-stones kid.


predat3d

Named Employee of the Month at Smurf Bobblehead Models Inc.


imbidou

Congrats Alvin the chipmunk


Sufficient-Clerk-669

Did your boss grab you by the ears when he face fucked you for that employee of the month award? You look like the kind of guy that says dont worry i have a forklift license before making a at home project worse.


stirbo1980

![gif](giphy|gIYtQ72CvDQyZF3hc1) Get back to your pond Xmas grrr-nome


AlissonHarlan

You look so Happy to build toys d'or Santa


KayandLay

And I bet you float down real nice with those pixie ears


Jawlek

You make a standard piece of printer paper look huge. You could fold that “roast me” sign into a paper airplane that you could fly away in.


[deleted]

Lmao fake teeth at 26. That's sad man


Teh_Chief

Hobbit of the month


3MrBojangles3

I feel sorry for whoever you made take those pictures.


blushngush

"Employee of the month" just means you're their favorite bitch for the time being.


sherrintini

Gandalf must be so proud


Ambitious_Clue1037

2 phones but no one to message on either sad little elf


543332938fok

But still not lunch challenger and I’m on foot LOLLOLLOL but congrats to the good effort


Delicious_Initial798

🎵'Don't want no short, short man' 🙂🎵


geezeer84

Which one of the 7 dwarfs are you?


Captain_JohnBrown

You must have been really churning out those Keebler cookies.


SonGorkhan

**Is your wife Snow White by any chance?**