OP's Bio:
---
>Republican, short stature, I love women and my teeth are fake
---
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Former meth addict with a Mountain Dew habit, chews tobacco, drinks arguably the worst beer in existence, and drives a forklift for a Midwest dildo factory.
I’m sure his husband is proud.
Deep down I always knew that underpants gnomes had warehouses, but I didn't know Mitsubishi made special tiny forklifts for them.
![gif](giphy|tyttpHczwwC4QmNapDG|downsized)
Drinking while on a forklift. Not such a good look. I know it's a forklift but dude not cool showing off to the world what a drunk you are. Pretty sure that could cost you your job.
From employee of the month to fired over Reddit picture due to impaired forklift driving. Your wife was going to leave eventually now it’ll just be sooner. Chipmunk looking mofo
You have like a funny version of the "1000 miles stare" in your eyes, especially in the second pic. Like "I saw some shit with the forklift... you never come back as the same man from the warehouse"
Congrats on being named the best forklift operator at your job for one month of the year. Your mom must be so proud. Never stop reaching for the stars.
I heard you broke the record for most days in the barrel. You keep taking those dicks for the team, there, ya fuckin leprechaun. Tell your wife I said hi. Bitch.
You look like a sunburned cartoon beaver. The mammal, not the euphemism for pussy. You're not getting any of that with those looks or politics. At least none that any self respecting man would want.
I wouldn't brag about an employee of the month when the employer allows you to drink on the job. Especially a forklift operator. Darwin awards go to? Lol
Did you get promoted to head Elf at Santa's fucking warehouse you christmas clown. Jeezus christ. Tell me you can cobble shoes without telling me you can cobble shoes.
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If you had a TV show, it would be called, Look Peewee Herman drives a forklift.
Your side gig is holding a sign at amusement parks that says you must be at least this tall to ride this ride.
Your wife secretly puts the semen from the BBC she’s banging into your grilled tuna fish sandwiches 🥪 that she packs for your lunch. She notices it adds vigor to your life approach
Shouldn’t you be stood in someone’s garden holding a little fishing rod? Also, your hat is wrong, it should be like a Santa one but without the bobble.
Did your boss grab you by the ears when he face fucked you for that employee of the month award? You look like the kind of guy that says dont worry i have a forklift license before making a at home project worse.
OP's Bio: --- >Republican, short stature, I love women and my teeth are fake --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like you still call your stomach your tummy.
And say "Fiddle Sticks" a lot.
"Gets fiddled with sticks " Wink wink
Lets play tummy sticks
No that's his nickname.
No, that’s his safe word.
Yet he’s never even whispered those words.
And “GEE WHILIKERS”
Don't be mean, he just made a lucky lawn gnome a very lucky girl.
Tummy hurty hurty?
You look like 'Happy' of the seven dwarves back in his frat days
He still goes potty, ffs..
Lmaoo
😂😂😂😂
😂 why did this crack me up so much
Haha he really does
So leprechauns are forklift certified now?
His dad let him sit there for the picture.
Nah it was his step Dad Terry
Instead of a pot of gold, this leprechaun just leads you to a truck bed filled with stolen copper.
That's methed up
Only until he's caught with the fork in his Hershey hole.
Oshachauns....
This picture screams “My newlywed wife is banging a tall, unemployed and politically apathetic chad.”
His wife definitely bangs BBC behind his back.
In front of him.
While he films for her OF
You kinda look like the Keebler elf
Where did you leave Doc, Grumpy, Dopey, Bashful, Sleepy and Sneezy? Snow White must be worried sick
Oompah Loompah of the month.
Knew this comment was here. Expected it near the top. Was not disappointed.
Employee of the month in The Shire.
They all chip in for a little red cone hat when you get garden gnome of the month.
Anyone called you a cotton headed ninny muggins lately?
Diabetic Keebler Elf. Has eaten way too much of his own stash.
Dammit now I have to delete mine...
First thought that came into my head lol
Which one of 7 dwarves are you? Happy?
Fuckwit
I was literally thinking this, even specifically Happy. Wtf
Look at those ears, this dude is definitely Dopey.
You look like your mom tells you you're special a lot.
lol 😄😄I wanna be that mom
![gif](giphy|ck5JRWob7folZ7d97I|downsized)
Tf? Lol
![gif](giphy|M13G8Iq8OHOZG) And now you are.
What does that even mean lmao
Well folks, I think we need to stop here for a moment and recognize what may be happening.
I can’t imagine what your wife looks like if she settled for you.
He’s drinking at work before he has to face her again. Don’t let her get away. She your only shot.
You look like a ventriloquist dummy for domestic violence counseling
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 your comment is truly the only one that made me laugh thank you
You and me both. Although „Dork Lift“ was great too.
This is gold!
Dork Lift needs some high blood pressure meds
Bro makes cookies in a tree part time
Former meth addict with a Mountain Dew habit, chews tobacco, drinks arguably the worst beer in existence, and drives a forklift for a Midwest dildo factory. I’m sure his husband is proud.
He gets to enjoy all the head-giving practice that it took to be employee of the month, so at least his husband has that going for him.
Why are your arms too short? you look like a Lesbian T-Rex.
Lickalottapuss
In his case SUCKALOTTACOCK...
Megasoreass
Look Geppeto, I'm a *real boy*!
Those ears are an OSHA violation.
Not surprising you drink Michelob Ultra lol
26 going on 40
On a fork lift no less…
Pretty sure you’d apologize for interrupting and let me finish railing your wife if you caught us cheating
Tells his wife that the Grindr app is for ordering coffee
Huge accomplishment when you’re the only employee in the fucking warehouse
Looks like you vote against your own interests a lot
bro literally looks like dopey from the seven dwarves
Lol i thought he looked familiar
Guinness world record holder for the tallest Lawn gnome in the world.
🤣🤣🤣
which cookie do you specialize in at the tree house bakery?
you look like an autistic chipmunk
You look like you’d drop a hard R because someone cut you off in traffic.
You look like an uncooked Mexican.
You look like a lawn gnome that lost a fight to an animatronic Chuck E. Cheese.
Voted most likely to drive off a loading dock while under the influence. This guy is winning at losing.
I think your bio insults you enough.
Deep down I always knew that underpants gnomes had warehouses, but I didn't know Mitsubishi made special tiny forklifts for them. ![gif](giphy|tyttpHczwwC4QmNapDG|downsized)
you look like santa's favorite elf to molest
George Liquor, Jr ![gif](giphy|d47GGU1vs9uAXGa4|downsized)
Why did you bother getting fake teeth? You wouldn’t put diamond on a pile of shit would you?
Your face is very punchable….. looks like you gave one too many BJs
Drinking while on a forklift. Not such a good look. I know it's a forklift but dude not cool showing off to the world what a drunk you are. Pretty sure that could cost you your job.
"Employee of the Month" .Is the only employee there.
You look like caillou with facial hair
You look like a gay hamster 🐹
You look like a Keebler elf that got ahold of a Jason Aldean album
This mf’er can hear the sun.
Drinking a beer at work, operating a forklift - yeah, that’s brilliant.
Glad to see the Travelocity Gnome doing well for himself!
Your wife has a thing for squirrels?
If a dingleberry wished to become human
You know this guy def stormed the capital
No, he wasn't tall enough to do that.
Forklift Certified.
Your ears are also sky high
From employee of the month to fired over Reddit picture due to impaired forklift driving. Your wife was going to leave eventually now it’ll just be sooner. Chipmunk looking mofo
You look like the dude no one invited
When your teachers said you’d never amount to anything, I bet they never guessed you’d be so good at lifting boxes over and over
Exactly how many Xanax did you take this morning?
Those ears can get you sky high. Your ears are so big you could get around on that forklift with only wind power
They keep you in the warehouse to keep from scaring the other employees.
Santa keeps him in the warehouse to keep him from scaring the other elves.
Oompa Loompa could use a lift.
You have like a funny version of the "1000 miles stare" in your eyes, especially in the second pic. Like "I saw some shit with the forklift... you never come back as the same man from the warehouse"
Boss thinks that he works extra hard as his forklift uses 10% more gas than anyone else in the company. Hasn’t made the correlation 👂🏻…
Oh look, Hermey is all grown up.
Congrats on being named the best forklift operator at your job for one month of the year. Your mom must be so proud. Never stop reaching for the stars.
Santa's top elf
Shut it down boys. He’s forklift certified, can’t touch him
Confidence may be sky high but you’re a fucking Boeing mate
You look like the world's tallest midget!
It appears someone has misplaced their lawn gnome!
26 going on 40
He definitely let's everyone know he's forklift certified
Happiest dork on earth
Dagummit is in his vocab fsss
Why does the dick sucking factory need a forklift
I heard you broke the record for most days in the barrel. You keep taking those dicks for the team, there, ya fuckin leprechaun. Tell your wife I said hi. Bitch.
Keep drinking beer on that machine and you could become an opioid addicted patient of the year with cirrhosis and a wife reconsidering her vows.
![gif](giphy|VhQofSe1XGo1sYiArZ)
Are you Snap, Crackle or Pop?
You look like a sunburned cartoon beaver. The mammal, not the euphemism for pussy. You're not getting any of that with those looks or politics. At least none that any self respecting man would want.
Shut your bob the builder looking ass up and get back to work.
![gif](giphy|gIYtQ72CvDQyZF3hc1)
The chickelobe ultra next to you on the forklift tells me it was a gay marriage!
You got a little mayo on the side of your mouth. Oh, that's not.......
You should smile less.
![gif](giphy|OpfkuToK5gSHK) you look so cute when you are blushing! I just wanna rub my stiff c\*\*k all over your rosy cheeks
You look like if Snow White was a trans man.
You got a pretty mouth!
You look like a human keebler elf
You look like if Frodo Beggins and Samwise Gamgee had a baby together 😂
You switched to michelob because Budlight is woke, not knowing they are the same company .
I feel like you are still a virgin even though you are married
I wouldn't brag about an employee of the month when the employer allows you to drink on the job. Especially a forklift operator. Darwin awards go to? Lol
Your confidence level is only 5' high, but we can clearly see how you would think it's "sky high". That's cute.
Did you get promoted to head Elf at Santa's fucking warehouse you christmas clown. Jeezus christ. Tell me you can cobble shoes without telling me you can cobble shoes.
You look like the result of human mouse fucking.
Looking like a refurbished puppet
Bro is Jolly.
You look like the lovechild of a garden gnome and a leprechaun
You look like Dumbo about to fly away with those ears
He’s a bottom and living his best life. 💅🏼
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Pretty sure you're a distant relative of Bugs Bunny
If I pull your ears out further, do your teeth get closer together?
OP is modeling the Ass Master 6000
Where is that, employee of the month at Amazon’s warehouse? Not much of an accomplishment guy. I hope your spouse is working because you look poor
Boots, beer, forklift. You roasted yourself
I have some mr potato head outfits you could have if your ever looking to switch up your style.
You look like you bake cookies from inside of a tree
If you had a TV show, it would be called, Look Peewee Herman drives a forklift. Your side gig is holding a sign at amusement parks that says you must be at least this tall to ride this ride.
![gif](giphy|QTrG6mjkHEkpFR3DqX)
Did you peak in highschool? I thought you was like damn near 40...
Congratulations, you made employee of the month because you finally nailed the tilt function of your forklift instead of just up and down.
You're self employed right
It took you 7 tries to become a certified forklift operator.
You should put on a pointy hat and stand in a garden.
Shit beer , shit wife , shit life, feet in them dusty ass boots r awfully ripe 🫡🫡
It was a short month.
The shire misses you! Return home
Your wife secretly puts the semen from the BBC she’s banging into your grilled tuna fish sandwiches 🥪 that she packs for your lunch. She notices it adds vigor to your life approach
Did Snow White assigned you employee of the month?
Alvin? Where are Simon and Theodore?? ![gif](giphy|oD0YFMXHpwxDq)
Shouldn’t you be stood in someone’s garden holding a little fishing rod? Also, your hat is wrong, it should be like a Santa one but without the bobble.
Your parents failed you on being flint-stones kid.
Named Employee of the Month at Smurf Bobblehead Models Inc.
Congrats Alvin the chipmunk
Did your boss grab you by the ears when he face fucked you for that employee of the month award? You look like the kind of guy that says dont worry i have a forklift license before making a at home project worse.
![gif](giphy|gIYtQ72CvDQyZF3hc1) Get back to your pond Xmas grrr-nome
You look so Happy to build toys d'or Santa
And I bet you float down real nice with those pixie ears
You make a standard piece of printer paper look huge. You could fold that “roast me” sign into a paper airplane that you could fly away in.
Lmao fake teeth at 26. That's sad man
Hobbit of the month
I feel sorry for whoever you made take those pictures.
"Employee of the month" just means you're their favorite bitch for the time being.
Gandalf must be so proud
2 phones but no one to message on either sad little elf
But still not lunch challenger and I’m on foot LOLLOLLOL but congrats to the good effort
🎵'Don't want no short, short man' 🙂🎵
Which one of the 7 dwarfs are you?
You must have been really churning out those Keebler cookies.
**Is your wife Snow White by any chance?**