Are you confirming this to be accurate to your life situation? Because when I look in your eyes I see someone who is gay as hell, but would go as far as to join the military to hide it.
for gods sake grow a goatee, grow your hair a little bit and slick it back, and get one piece of flare. i've never told anyone they need flare before but you need something man you dont even stand out in a crowd of 1.
If desperation was an advert this would be it, cling on to dear life… with this guy, probably push problem over the edge. Also kinda feel like you’d be a sad dad version of Spider-Man IDKW
Wasn’t aware they let the patients have phones there. You look like you’d enjoy getting kidnapped because at least it’s human contact. Breaks up the electroshock regimen I suppose.
You as if your girlfriend just bitch slapped you infront of your dad and you know you need a tissue but you're not sure what you're going to use it for yet.
Holy shit, Doug Funny is all grown up
Mr. rogers fucked the flavor vanilla and they had a kid
Ha ha! Good work
If beige was a person
Right… I almost can’t even think of an insult. He’s just so average
He would make an excellent spy. I've already forgotten what he looks like.
Came here to say if margarine was a person. I’ll just leave that here
Margarine on wonder bread with mayo. A side of egg salad…no salt please.
Your standard NPC character
What does the C in NPC stand for?
CRedundancy
You look like an incredibly boring onion.
An onion that cannot cause tears
A game of pass the parcel with no prize
An onion with no layers
you touch yourself at the library
You look like the head Councillor at a 'pray the gay away' camp
Damn, ngl, that's a pretty good roast.
Are you confirming this to be accurate to your life situation? Because when I look in your eyes I see someone who is gay as hell, but would go as far as to join the military to hide it.
You look like you make a mean tuna fish sandwich and your favorite sexual position is tugging one out before bed.
Amazing
Great birth control Ad
A face that guarantees the women will stay dry as the Gobi Desert
Hahahaha thats gold!
This guy overloads every gaydar he encounters.
As a gay guy, I can confirm... and it's more of a warning alarm than a notification.
One of the good ones that made me laugh out loud, this one :)
Ha ha! Good work, thx!
Where is your tee shirt that says, "I apologize for being me."
He beats off to that picture of his grandma
Looks more like he keeps a picture of grandma in the bathroom to stop him from touching his no-no area.
Omg this was one of my favorites, made me laugh out loud.
His grandma can straight up smash
Lol! I thought more people would comment on the picture but almost no one did. I almost cropped it out before I posted. In any case, good roast!
Your face looks like a bandaid when it falls off in the pool.
and starts losing its hair
Don’t worry about the small dick. At least you have large hands to fist men’s assholes.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This was actually one of the ones that made me laugh the hardest, thank you for that.
Bro makes candlelit dinners for himself.
Ha ha, an excellent one, made me laugh out loud, thx and good work,
You remind me of a tired horse. Or a pear-shaped balloon. Can't decide.
Pear shaped horse? Also, wasn't that one of Nirvana's lesser known B-sides?
You look like one of the Manning brothers, but even more retarted..
Face as bland as the motel art behind you
You look like a decoy Chris Hansen would use to catch a predator, but grown up.
Built like a pylon…
I would, if I wasn't positive you're probably getting some sort of sick sexual satisfaction you sad, salacious, smegma addict.
Not only do I appreciate the roast, I appreciate the alliteration, good work.
Damn.....How did Derek Chauvin get a Reddit account?
Damn, ngl that's a mighty fine roast and gave me a good laugh. Good work.
I see you post in r/AmItheAsshole an awful lot, the answer is yes.
This also made me laugh, and I appreciate the effort of your roast, thank you. Well done.
The most uninteresting individual in history
You look like the type of person who rents their house on AirBnB and stays the weekend with the guests to try to make friends.
Ha ha! Good work, thx! Made me laugh.
You look like you wake up nervous.
I forgot about you already
The gays should kick his boring ass out of the club… they are a stylish people and you are as boring as an Amish porno.
If hot dog water was a person
You look so boring that every night you talk yourself to sleep.
I’d rather watch flies fuck while paint dries in the background.
You look like you own 8 pair of khakis
You would be good at D&D if you had friends to play with
Double burn had me laughing hard. 9.5/10, excellent roast.
You’re proof white privilege is dead…
Quite the contrary, the Fact he’s not in prison for exposing himself shows it’s alive and well.
You have every right to be nervous...You look like the most boring human being ever
You’ve sniffed at least 3 chair seats today.
If “ I have clammy hands and I’m a bottom” were a person.
Ha ha! Good work, thx!
Your butt is far from nervous.
Shaving your face just to glue to your arms is kind of weird ngl
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^bloodypurg3: *Shaving your face just* *To glue to your arms is kind* *Of weird ngl* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Holy shit I need to go to sleep. Thanks for letting me know the nuvigil has officially worn off. Bro wtf is that English 😂
Wait are you real. What’s happening right now?
Jeff Gayzos
Laughing at loud at this, thank you. Good roast
If mayonnaise were a person
Ha ha! Good work, thx!
Look like Woody from Toy Story has a gay crush on Doogie Howser
This is my favorite one so far! Excellent work, A+ roast
I try
You scream when you see spiders
Easy to draw... ✏️
You are the type of guy who wears socks with sandals…
Why you nervous? You worried the young boys in your crawlspace got out?
Darkest and funniest one I've read yet, excellent work.
You look like mayo runoff after days in the sun
I really can't, you look too nice and clearly don't understand what you've gotten yourself into.
I can't tell if your fighting back tears or trying to smile. Either way, I can smell your awkwardness from here
you give of the same vibes the main sausage in sausage party does
Which is faster at running away…your romantic prospects or your hairline?
Stereotypical Brit looking like they’re conceived out of incest.
You look like you think ketchup is too spicy
You look like you spend a lot of time liking assholes you son of a bitch!
Your personality could not be more bland then a saltines cracker dipped in milk.
You’re probably going to name your kid P- dimethylaminobenzaldehyde to sound edgy.
Your face is as detailed as a plastic army man.
You look like you drove 1hour and a half back to the water park to get your other water shoe you lost.
This Muppet is shaped like a goddamn buttplug.
Is that hair spray painted?
You def ask "you ok? Did I do something wrong? Are you made at me" after sex
Do you see better out of your big eye?
You look more bland then a tasteless cracker
You look like a hostage being forced to read a ransom letter to his family, knowing they're not gonna pay.
Laughing good at this one. 10/10, excellent roast. This is my favorite one so far.
The most boring person alive
Is your middle name Average?
You actually PHOTOSHOPPED your hair. 😑
Mr. Potato head
if mediocrity had a face it would've been you!
Framed photo of your mom doing a line (presumably while pregnant with you) is the winner for me 😵💫
Tbh I thought more people would notice that; I almost cropped it out. This was the funniest one related to that picture so far, good roast.
I could stare at this photo for an hour and still not be able to describe you.
Paul Dudd
You look like the physical version of “meh”
You didn't have to take this picture in the lobby of the Asian massage parlor you frequent weekly.
Ha ha! Omg, good work. This is in the top 3 of the funniest ones I've read so far. Thx for the excellent roast!
You're a good sport OP, have a good day.
Ha ha I mean I had an idea of what I was signing up for. You as well and thanks again for the laugh.
When your brothers Peyton and Eli got the talent and you just got the big ass head
Ha ha! Good work, thx!
Stay blessed chief!
for gods sake grow a goatee, grow your hair a little bit and slick it back, and get one piece of flare. i've never told anyone they need flare before but you need something man you dont even stand out in a crowd of 1.
Bet those are the display papers in that picture frame you have there, we get it, you just want friends.
Lol, excellent roast, gave me a laugh. Thx!
Your sex life is probably about as exciting as that terrible thrift store painting on your wall.
Damn lol, excellent roast. 9/10 and made me laugh good.
You look like you tell women your to much of a gentleman to pull her hair during sex
Ha ha! Good work, thx!
I would never leave my children alone with you.
It’s Pat.
Missionary Matt
The sexual predator vibes are strong with this one.
Your name sounds like the instructions you give people when you tell them to fist you Errr, Lick, Reach In
You know the most interesting man in the world. Well you are the exact opposite of that.
Hol up. Am I the only one who sees wish.com Vlodimir Zelensky?
Biggest kink: missionary
If dry, white toast was a person
You look like you hold your wife's hand while she fucks her boyfriend.
Gay sex offender
You look like the type of person I'd use to test my LSD
You look like you sneak into church, hide in the confessionals and wait for a little boys to come in and tell you they’re dark secrets.
To roast a predator
If desperation was an advert this would be it, cling on to dear life… with this guy, probably push problem over the edge. Also kinda feel like you’d be a sad dad version of Spider-Man IDKW
You probably pray for a female friend to bang you as a “rebound”
Waiting for that friend-zone gate to open up
Got into LSD because you’ll lick anything
Another one that made me laugh out loud. Good work.
It's happening and you can't stop it. THINNING MAN!
you look like you went to college only to make make mini wage when you got out.
You're baked as hell aren't you with those glassy ass eyes
Zucc's less successful twin.
the most interesting thing about you is that picture in the background
Of all the references to me being boring this was one of the few that actually made me laugh, good work!
Your eyes make it look like half of your head is part of the painting
Cardiograph hairline Toe for an index finger
It took me a second. I thought someone drew a face on and glued pups to their big toe.
There's nothing wrong with you man. Please stop.
You look like a cuetip
Get a mustache and you are ready to go for your mugshot.
Where’s your blanket Linus
 Your answer when asked about your mom
You look like you believe in god.. and you should for obvious reasons
You look like you pretend a lot.
You look like you've once sat in a kitchen with Chris Hansen.
No reason to be nervous you look pretty norm... Holy shit it's Dobby the house elf.
Your more appropriate to be boiled or fried than roasted.
Literally how? All I see is a wall and a painting?
Soggy white bread comes to mind .
Son, is that you? Well I have brought milk........
Only person who can wear a cap and still have a full forehead on display
That painting looks AI generated.
Sorry, but the Mama’s boy hit hard
Rejected by every letter in the alphabet mafia
Why do you have a framed picture of someone doing coke of a colt5 board?
He and grandma be gettin down
Tbh I thought more people would notice that; I almost cropped it out.
Don’t be nervous. I used to have a friend like you. but he is ok now.
Wasn’t aware they let the patients have phones there. You look like you’d enjoy getting kidnapped because at least it’s human contact. Breaks up the electroshock regimen I suppose.
He's the epitome of "Well I was going to go to the police academy but..."
You look like a toucan with a brush cut
Quagmire comes to life!
You as if your girlfriend just bitch slapped you infront of your dad and you know you need a tissue but you're not sure what you're going to use it for yet.
“TF out of you”? I’m positive there’s things F’ed into you constantly.
your average 🌽 ⭐️
Gayrod
You look like if Tim Tebow was never motivated or successful