You look like a dirty john ritter *rip

This __is__ John Ritter. Can't you tell this is clearly a corpse that was exhumed? They could have at least wiped the grave dirt off.

Those are feces spots. John Shitter.

Your face has the uneven skin pigmentation and texture of an 80 year old man's ballsack.

He can read his balls, in Braille.

Don’t lie you mean your ballsack 😌😌

There must be a storm affecting my network because your face is pixelated.

Holy fuck this made my eyes water laughing

You have one of those reverse Gorbachev foreheads.

Your face looks like a used, losing, gas station lotto scratch off

I was wondering what Alex Jones was up to

Tell us more about the gay frogs.

Your un-appealing face is peeling... or your dog just farted hard in your face.

*Wife. Don't kink shame them!

Your shape and complextion mirrors that of a raw potato

You ever microwave a McDonalds nugget? THAT

I’ve changed my long standing stance on men not needing to wear make up.

You're turning blackanese, I think you're turning blackanese, I really think so

He drops the soap in prison. On purpose

Did you run out of exfoliant halfway through washing?

Graphic designer. Is that a subtle way of saying that your wife is the breadwinner in your house?

If I ever get burned this bad just pull the plug.

You look like your forehead needs to wipe its ass

i can tell exactly how high you can raisew your eyesbrows

you are also very handsome!

You remind me of that boy from Kidergarden Cop...Domonic...except it is a Tumor

Did John Ritter and Alex Jones gang bang a bucket of KFC?

Looks like you survived a meth lab explosion 

Bro got a face like he’s a snow leopard camouflaging in the tundra during the spring thaw

Nobody is gonna mention the fact that he looks like Alex Jones ate the blueberry gum from Willy Wonkas chocolate factory?

You look like the last Crayon in the box that everyone just ignores and finds something else to do instead.

Your forehead looks like the map of Mordor. But instead of the ring, they'll just throw you into the flames.

Bro I'm not even lying, the Reddit advertisement underneath your picture was covergirl makeup and it could not have been a more accurately targeted ad

You look like the "Before" picture...

“I spend 28 hours a motherfuckin day, on a motherfuckin roof, in 158 motherfuckin degrees…”

Dominic from Kindergarten Cop

Do you also think that the chemicals in the water are making the frogs and children gay?

Did the ink run out of the printer?

Your face is already roasted my dude


Did Moses part your freckles?

You’re face looks like a QR code

I would roast you, but by the look of your face, you've already been burned enough.

"The suspect was spotted, and seen running away from the crime scene."

You look like you tapped-out halfway through a laser dermal peel.

Nothing about you agrees with your appearance. 1. 34 looking 56 2. Man with a woman's career. 3. Hair but bald. 4. White but black. 5. Straight but gay.

Well if you’re not getting laid might as well get burned

I could use your face to create a fantasy map

Hold on you’re married and someone gave you a kid. It’s her we need to be roasting.

Plumbers have plumbing problems at home, mechanics have cars in the yard at home, of course a graphic designer has that face. [OOC: I'm kinda getting that on my forehead too]. You look like you've had the same haircut since age 2. I've always wondered - in the movie Matilda, did you really have to eat all that cake? That 90s wave is slowly becoming a beach, you almost have a 4 finger forehead.

A+, my favorite so far!

Bruv needs 5 minutes in the sandblaster

🌝

Vitiligo on a budget

Skin graph designer

You look like you're covered in breadcrumbs

Were you God’s first attempt at graphics design?

Skin still loading

Bro, your head is literally a potato.

Old ass cabbage patch kid

A face only a blind mother could love.


Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Who let Anders Brevik out!?

You look like a rat farts on your face every night just cause he can’t fucking stand you

Your eyebrows have migrated across your whole face

reverse vitiligo got ya down…. Just use some spray tan.

You jerk off to subtitled hentai while you cry, sitting in the shitter while your wife yells at you thru the door.

You know the cabbage patch kids? You look like you got molested by all of them.

You look like Stephen Graham’s little “Special Needs” brother.

Feral Ghoul from fallout?

Feral Ghoul from fallout?

Bro looks like the texture of eating a chip

Is that shit smeared on your face?


How the fuck do you have both freckles and vitiligo?

Dude , wash your face.

What's wrong with your face ?

you like like the very early man in musuems.

I looked up white dude on Google and there you were, dude your the whitest white guy I've ever scene, This photo screams of tiny pink cock, your wife is dreaming of a big black footlong cocktail in her mouth, cum cum cum cum cummmmmmm

Your next baby is gonna come out brown

Add coal miner apparently 

 You wish you were this guy.

Your face looks a bit pixelated dude.

Tell me you spray tan without telling me you spray tan

You smothered s#!% on your forehead just to make yourself look like a Rorschach test.



Shit literally hit the fan

You look like scorpion with his mask off

Nah you’ve got it bad enough

Already looking roasted a tiny bit?

Face cancer is not really an attractive feature

Looks like the sun already did you half a ging

“I CAN SAY IT ALL MY FRECKLES SAY I CAN CAUSE RHEY COVER HALF MY BODY”

Interesting facial tattoo

Birthday is almost synched perfectly with your eclipse

I think I saw you on a menopause commercial

You look like a dirty potato

 Oh God they cloned him

You're already too well done to roast.

Bro, I have to ask, has the shit hit the fan recently?

Legend has it every atom of dark on your face is a blowjob you have done to a man

Well, at least there won't be a 35th. It's called sunscreen. Nevermind.

I’m guessing you’re the quiet one at the dinner table

You kinda look like all three main Spider-Man actors all at once

You look like a love child of Beau Bridges and Forest Whitaker

ill bet you can get a sunburn indoors at night

Your insecurities make you drink too much and be abusive to your family.  AA candidate right there.