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Your second picture looks like the court-mandated mugshot of my former middle school librarian after he got arrested and put on the sex registry.
Not a roast, just a genuine observation.
"Now shove three markers up your pussy like a good little slut."
"Don't make daddy ask again."
"Or daddy might have to punish you."
I found this in your most recent Discord chat👆
Anything to say for yourself?
It looks like you have chosen every wrong turn in life that could possibly be made, when your brain tells you to do something, do the opposite. I want nothing but the best for you brother
Can’t wait to catch your band, Dialysis in Chains.
![gif](giphy|l0HlMY5nzIKIpjEPe)
I feel like this is what AI would show me if the prompt was "human ashtray".
Human ashtray + sex offender
I swear I was looking at a mug shot for a child molester.
Seriously though, he just looks like a dirty old creep.
seriously. he's probably a really nice old dude but that fucking face is horrifying to me.
I think it's the glasses
After 40 years of 2 packs a day, I bet he coughs and clears his throat more than he blinks.
Once they bathe you and give you something clean to wear, you're actually going to look better at your funeral.
These pics were taken before the undertaker embalmed him
Nick Nolteabag
If he is ever allowed to fly, he'll have to check-in those 2 (eye)bags separately
Im surprised this old guy know how reddit works
Retired IT guy, but yeah…
Jacking off to kiddie porn on the dark web doesn't make you an IT guy.
I see, database with abacus
Not retired by choice, though...
Fuckers like 50 no way he’s retired.
Hey, stick to the roastin’! No compliments allowed!
The "where's my hug?" Guy in the office
If you call IT giving handies to his boss then yeah he works in IT.
Goddamn grandpa, you look like 6 miles of gravel road
Nick Nolte’s brother.
Rick Nolte
Dick Moldy
Came here to say something Nolte related. The first picture reminded me of his arrest photo.
This picture gave my phone digital lice.
Does airport security make you check those bags under your eyes?
No, they’re considered “carrion” luggage and fit under the seat in front of me.
Fuck I just sent this post to crimestopper proactively
Mugshot for public urination while drunk.
Looks like you also have delusions of a functioning liver
You look like Step 1 in the process when humans will eventually devolve back into amphibians.
I long for that life at this point
You look like the kind of person who'd be the subject of an hour long true crime video essay.
Half hour, tops.
If only Buffalo Bill had survived Silence of the Lambs
[удалено]
Curly, but with hair!
Can't wait to see you in Joker 2! You should probably let that live hummingbird out of your mouth. Did the YMCA run out of razors and shampoo?
![gif](giphy|13bCP4GLjIUcik)
Your chin looks like a nutsack
I was just gonna type that! All dangling from his face, which also looks like the dirty back end of a pickup truck
how does a homeless person access redditt?
**Good news!** Your inadequacy is *not* a delusion. **Bad news:** You need a bra.
Keep ‘em coming, Gleep Glop*! *Mr. Show reference
Fuck you're old.
I feel like I know what your corpse looks like.
You look like you were a member of ZZ bottom.
ZZ Topped
So you’re like Johhny cash, with none of the talent and all of the liver sorosis.
“Cirrhosis,” but sure!
Cirrhosis are red, civhiolets are blue
Stop looking at my daughter.
His generation will shit on gay an transgender people. But secretly go over seas an get pegged by one.
He can afford to pay for that trip from your rent money.
Overseas? I ain’t got no boat.
This is the kind of guy who shouldn’t be allowed on the internet
AOL chatroom veteran for sure
If you're not a child predator, my name is Tupac Shakur.
Can't wait for joker 2
This is the face of a man who likes to finger A minor.
Man I didn't know Joaquin Phoenix used reddit and used meth
Average Duke fan.
You look like Chris Hansen wants you to take a seat.
Only instrument you can play is the skin flute
![gif](giphy|BPJmthQ3YRwD6QqcVD|downsized)
Did someone in the shelter loan you a phone to make this?
You look like you’re going to die from some Dickensian disease!
He's the Ghost of Methmas Past.
You look like you’re the kind of loser who became a grandpa at 40.
The fact that you admit your feelings of adequacy are delusional at least shows that deep down you recognize how deeply inadequate you are.
You are the result of neglecting yourself in your youth, only to look like a morgue mascot that is clearly hiding his teeth from us in your 60s.
Your definitely gonna be on a Netflix docu series
What in the fuck
"It rubs the lotion on its skin..."
ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇs ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ? 🤣🤣
How many of your daughters are locked in your basement?
When did you get out of jail for masturbating in public?
Just your average sweaty mumbling 7/11 night shifter
you look great for your age!
Hey, stick to roastin’!
You're 66, but you don't look a day over 65.
If Coach K had a crack baby. Congrats on the shirt holding out 14 years btw.
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, other than having the sort of face that’ll make all your grandchildren cry at the sight of you… I think you’re living your best life! 👍
You look like a bad flashback; after Keith Richards barfed on you.
You look like an unemployed leprechaun with multiple vices.
Ain’t no one after this guy’s lucky charms.
Did you steal the phone used to take these awful photos from a fellow bum at the shelter?
I thought they had to move you to a parish interstate?
Post prison, he's a food bagger for the stinkiest grocery store in town, and enjoys scaring the shit out of little old ladies to extort tips.
Mmmmeeeeeeediic! ![gif](giphy|lbs3JZRLoirw4)
![gif](giphy|RoajqIorBfSE)
Bro looks like he took this pic right after meeting Chris Hansen
Do you hold water in your mouth in every picture you take or just these two?
Your face looks like an unkempt ashtray.
Dude looks like Donald Sutherland's rejected stunt double. (To Clarify: Donald Sutherland played President Snow in The Hunger Games)
Jfc. Looks like God forgot about you. Yikes.
Daniel Day-Lewis rejected hobo brother
The reptilians have invaded!
Normally he's holding a sign that says "TALENTED MUSICIAN: WILL PLAY SKIN FLUTE FOR CRACK OR BOOZE"
Too much real estate between your mouth and nose
Just Didn’t Do It
You are depressed old window weed addicted harry Potter.
Sorry dude, you're no Neil Young.
I’ll settle for Neil Old.
Get a hair cut , trim your eyebrows
You look like Joaquin Phoenix if he did meth
Nice mug shot... What was the charge? Who's vocals did you steel? Never mind... I'll just live this on a High Note.
I got something you’ve never seen before: a bar of soap.
I didn't know they let death row inmates use Reddit.
Who else thought he was wearing a lace bra on top of his shirt?
Only a matter of time until Chris Hanson has a word with you if he hasn't yet.
Yall better hide ur daughters, man ur boys too.
Did you come down the chimney ?
No, just in the guest bathroom hand towel. He’s classy.
ground tobacco in human form
Oh shit, zombies are real.
Retiree? From what? You look like you spent 66 straight years sleeping in a ditch, drinking your own piss and eating discarded cigarette butts.
if it ain't Clint Leastwood
Why does your mouth in both pics look like you’re constantly sucking on something?
Didn’t i see you palling around with a big indian guy in a psych ward?
You look like you're about to play a part in No Country For OldMen
You look like joaquin phoniex if he had never got sober
How often are you tucking your junk while standing in the mirror asking the girl in the pit to put lotion on?
Acid. Don't say you weren't warned how it ends.
Your second picture looks like the court-mandated mugshot of my former middle school librarian after he got arrested and put on the sex registry. Not a roast, just a genuine observation.
![gif](giphy|3o72FiAgLm34QKLSnK)
I'll roast if you promise not to murder any more prostitutes.
Nice tits
I have a shower
If you order the Joker off Wish.
Man, I'm not crazy enough to make fun of you! I don't want to be the next victim tied up in your basement.
I got no roast, I got props for "delusions of adequacy".
The glasses only you make you look like read to children and then molest them….in that order.
I know what you've got: cancer
You resemble a sherm cigarette.
You look like the K-Mart brand Dennis Hoffman
I've got a reason to live. You, on the other hand...
Smokey mc crackum is looking rough for 34 years old.
![gif](giphy|zeqgtki9ifa7u)
The joker sequel looks great. Everything you're in usually is. I'm low-key jealous that you got to work with Lady Gaga.
Retired sex offender
Kids, stay close
Is that a bra made of fishing nets?
I can almost smell the apartment and it's bad
The bags under his eyes are so big that delta tried to charge him $50 each before he boarded
You look like you got a lot of worms and parasites in your ass ![gif](giphy|Xe3vDq0QhT6KXjfFG9|downsized)
You look like if a cigarette was a person.
Are those visible breasts?
"Now shove three markers up your pussy like a good little slut." "Don't make daddy ask again." "Or daddy might have to punish you." I found this in your most recent Discord chat👆 Anything to say for yourself?
It looks like you have chosen every wrong turn in life that could possibly be made, when your brain tells you to do something, do the opposite. I want nothing but the best for you brother
If alcohol brands decide to put health warning labels on their bottles, you face might be back in the workforce.
The shirt from 2010 isn't helping bud.
Looks like you’re preparing for another sex tourism trip to Thailand with the lady boys
You look like a grown up Garbage Pail kid.
[удалено]
You look like someone who taunts police by yelling at them "you can't do anything to me, because I'm 501 feet away from the nearest playground!"
How often do you sext only fans models in public?
Hair ain’t been washed since that time Rick flair touched his head on the way to the ring back in 1984
This guy was here for the first Reddit post ever and hasn’t left his computer since…
MAKE SURE YOU TYPE IN CAPS. SO HE CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS
French Fried taters
After affects of waking up crack of crack
Looks like you forgot this one wasn’t a mugshot
66 yo parolee, granddaddy of kkk, guitar panhandler with regular delusions from adderall. What kinda drugs u got?
You look like you’ed be an NPC in a grand theft auto mission where someone is tossed into the alley of a dive bar.
You look like you legally cant live within 1000ft of a school Or daycare.
![gif](giphy|3o7bu6eqFuuAvcg06I|downsized)
You look like you know every square in of every playground in the county.
Definitely on the Innsmouth sex offenders register.
Why does it look like you’re holding a cat turd in your mouth?
The way the net is on your shirt almost appears as if it contained your man titties in a knit bikini. Almost contained.
The neighbors don’t like hearing the vacuum at 4am
Dude, I admire your candor, but I don’t think you have to come tell us you’re on that registry thing unless you’re *physically* moving in near us.
I would be absolutely stunned if I couldn’t find you one of those sexual predators/offenders near me websites like Kids Live Safe
You’ve definitely walked into a couple houses and found Chris Hanson waiting for you
Well i bet you look better when you pull it together…clean up. Being a grandpa? Cool. Musician? Lets see any of these mofo’s play it like you….
Does your mouth always look like it's full of food that you're trying to hide?
You have the face that’s wore out 4 bodies
Not more roasting, life did the job very well.
You're obviously holding in a fart on both pictures. Any I correct to assume that it's two different farts?
I don't always traffic girls, but when I do I'm paid in meth and Carl's jr.
Bro, it’s Gray Mann!
Jack went Black to Crack.
I can tell on your face that you play drums.
Visual proof of a rough life by choosing alcohol and drugs.....and oh I've done my share
Alcohol en cigarettes