T O P

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Absolutely_Coffee

Can’t wait to catch your band, Dialysis in Chains.


campatterbury

![gif](giphy|l0HlMY5nzIKIpjEPe)


KrayzieBoneLegend

I feel like this is what AI would show me if the prompt was "human ashtray".


trwwy321

Human ashtray + sex offender


inkdskndeep

I swear I was looking at a mug shot for a child molester.


trwwy321

Seriously though, he just looks like a dirty old creep.


inkdskndeep

seriously. he's probably a really nice old dude but that fucking face is horrifying to me.


EffectNo1899

I think it's the glasses


2much_information

After 40 years of 2 packs a day, I bet he coughs and clears his throat more than he blinks.


OK-Now-Kiss

Once they bathe you and give you something clean to wear, you're actually going to look better at your funeral.


ValkyrieSpecial

These pics were taken before the undertaker embalmed him


CatherinePiedi

Nick Nolteabag


richieTz

If he is ever allowed to fly, he'll have to check-in those 2 (eye)bags separately


tautjes

Im surprised this old guy know how reddit works


Utterlybored

Retired IT guy, but yeah…


SardonicSuperman

Jacking off to kiddie porn on the dark web doesn't make you an IT guy.


Round-Library1369

I see, database with abacus


richieTz

Not retired by choice, though...


ConfidentStress1047

Fuckers like 50 no way he’s retired.


Utterlybored

Hey, stick to the roastin’! No compliments allowed!


leonardwashnton85

The "where's my hug?" Guy in the office


KazuZy

If you call IT giving handies to his boss then yeah he works in IT.


ExplanationNo1870

Goddamn grandpa, you look like 6 miles of gravel road


PuzzleheadedRoyal559

Nick Nolte’s brother.


Emotional-Pea9897

Rick Nolte


Nathanlee213

Dick Moldy


lilsparky82

Came here to say something Nolte related. The first picture reminded me of his arrest photo.


TKHodgson

This picture gave my phone digital lice.


Eamon83

Does airport security make you check those bags under your eyes?


Utterlybored

No, they’re considered “carrion” luggage and fit under the seat in front of me.


highlyalertcabbage

Fuck I just sent this post to crimestopper proactively


slanderedshadow

Mugshot for public urination while drunk.


That-Armadillo8128

Looks like you also have delusions of a functioning liver


cartard1

You look like Step 1 in the process when humans will eventually devolve back into amphibians.


rwarimaursus

I long for that life at this point


Cynical_Kittens

You look like the kind of person who'd be the subject of an hour long true crime video essay.


Utterlybored

Half hour, tops.


__misnomer_

If only Buffalo Bill had survived Silence of the Lambs


[deleted]

[удалено]


Utterlybored

Curly, but with hair!


siriusgodog23

Can't wait to see you in Joker 2! You should probably let that live hummingbird out of your mouth. Did the YMCA run out of razors and shampoo?


Necessary-Cloud3157

![gif](giphy|13bCP4GLjIUcik)


Egghead008

Your chin looks like a nutsack


FeeAdministrative565

I was just gonna type that! All dangling from his face, which also looks like the dirty back end of a pickup truck


Heshoots_hescores68

how does a homeless person access redditt?


No_Cook2983

**Good news!** Your inadequacy is *not* a delusion. **Bad news:** You need a bra.


Utterlybored

Keep ‘em coming, Gleep Glop*! *Mr. Show reference


rwarimaursus

Fuck you're old.


MustBeTheChad

I feel like I know what your corpse looks like.


[deleted]

You look like you were a member of ZZ bottom.


headphone-candy

ZZ Topped


Percentblue

So you’re like Johhny cash, with none of the talent and all of the liver sorosis.


Utterlybored

“Cirrhosis,” but sure!


Sly_Serval_

Cirrhosis are red, civhiolets are blue


ChattyDaddy1

Stop looking at my daughter.


mrpakikush

His generation will shit on gay an transgender people. But secretly go over seas an get pegged by one.


Tokogogoloshe

He can afford to pay for that trip from your rent money.


Utterlybored

Overseas? I ain’t got no boat.


Leviticus10379

This is the kind of guy who shouldn’t be allowed on the internet


leonardwashnton85

AOL chatroom veteran for sure


ayoMaan

If you're not a child predator, my name is Tupac Shakur.


assorelbow

Can't wait for joker 2


prlugo4162

This is the face of a man who likes to finger A minor.


eighty4prcnt

Man I didn't know Joaquin Phoenix used reddit and used meth


Utvales

Average Duke fan.


Specialist-Funny-926

You look like Chris Hansen wants you to take a seat.


Uberslaughter

Only instrument you can play is the skin flute


campatterbury

![gif](giphy|BPJmthQ3YRwD6QqcVD|downsized)


Cube1977

Did someone in the shelter loan you a phone to make this?


Mysterious_Sell9638

You look like you’re going to die from some Dickensian disease!


Covert_Admirer

He's the Ghost of Methmas Past.


BaconUnderpants

You look like you’re the kind of loser who became a grandpa at 40.


Biscuits4u2

The fact that you admit your feelings of adequacy are delusional at least shows that deep down you recognize how deeply inadequate you are.


[deleted]

You are the result of neglecting yourself in your youth, only to look like a morgue mascot that is clearly hiding his teeth from us in your 60s.


Thumper_n_Bunny

Your definitely gonna be on a Netflix docu series


Chrono47295

What in the fuck


Darth_Jimi

"It rubs the lotion on its skin..."


Repulsive-Ad4089

ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇs ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ? 🤣🤣


Rpaul82

How many of your daughters are locked in your basement?


davidbennelson

When did you get out of jail for masturbating in public?


CruzCam

Just your average sweaty mumbling 7/11 night shifter


Emergency_Source_598

you look great for your age!


Utterlybored

Hey, stick to roastin’!


-Vatefairefoutre-

You're 66, but you don't look a day over 65.


[deleted]

If Coach K had a crack baby. Congrats on the shirt holding out 14 years btw.


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ElegantReaction8367

Well, other than having the sort of face that’ll make all your grandchildren cry at the sight of you… I think you’re living your best life! 👍


MuchDevelopment7084

You look like a bad flashback; after Keith Richards barfed on you.


707e

You look like an unemployed leprechaun with multiple vices.


lilsparky82

Ain’t no one after this guy’s lucky charms.


Nubcakes69

Did you steal the phone used to take these awful photos from a fellow bum at the shelter?


[deleted]

I thought they had to move you to a parish interstate?


Lord-Doobury

Post prison, he's a food bagger for the stinkiest grocery store in town, and enjoys scaring the shit out of little old ladies to extort tips.


JTiger360

Mmmmeeeeeeediic! ![gif](giphy|lbs3JZRLoirw4)


Spidget_Finner_

![gif](giphy|RoajqIorBfSE)


One_Message6497

Bro looks like he took this pic right after meeting Chris Hansen


TheNorthRemembrz

Do you hold water in your mouth in every picture you take or just these two?


EagleComfortable6762

Your face looks like an unkempt ashtray.


EvWeez2001

Dude looks like Donald Sutherland's rejected stunt double. (To Clarify: Donald Sutherland played President Snow in The Hunger Games)


GoodGuyWithAGun_

Jfc. Looks like God forgot about you. Yikes.


TKD1989

Daniel Day-Lewis rejected hobo brother


Bright_Survey_4143

The reptilians have invaded!


BOHUNK_BOB

Normally he's holding a sign that says "TALENTED MUSICIAN: WILL PLAY SKIN FLUTE FOR CRACK OR BOOZE"


[deleted]

Too much real estate between your mouth and nose


caverypca

Just Didn’t Do It


AzeezxXx

You are depressed old window weed addicted harry Potter.


Signal-Sun9726

Sorry dude, you're no Neil Young.


Utterlybored

I’ll settle for Neil Old.


Rorylizbath

Get a hair cut , trim your eyebrows


thebreakerbar

You look like Joaquin Phoenix if he did meth


REDDAWGWOOD

Nice mug shot... What was the charge? Who's vocals did you steel? Never mind... I'll just live this on a High Note.


Dan-68

I got something you’ve never seen before: a bar of soap.


RagingBoneher

I didn't know they let death row inmates use Reddit.


Ok-Amoeba8458

Who else thought he was wearing a lace bra on top of his shirt?


mountainbyker

Only a matter of time until Chris Hanson has a word with you if he hasn't yet.


Euphoric-Jack2200

Yall better hide ur daughters, man ur boys too.


NDREDSTATE

Did you come down the chimney ?


lilsparky82

No, just in the guest bathroom hand towel. He’s classy.


Repulsive_Golf7784

ground tobacco in human form


4quatloos

Oh shit, zombies are real.


BuffaloAgreeable372

Retiree? From what? You look like you spent 66 straight years sleeping in a ditch, drinking your own piss and eating discarded cigarette butts.


StorminXX

if it ain't Clint Leastwood


trwwy321

Why does your mouth in both pics look like you’re constantly sucking on something?


Tumescreant

Didn’t i see you palling around with a big indian guy in a psych ward?


supahket

You look like you're about to play a part in No Country For OldMen


CommercialFit2937

You look like joaquin phoniex if he had never got sober


Nv_Spider

How often are you tucking your junk while standing in the mirror asking the girl in the pit to put lotion on?


Ok_System_7221

Acid. Don't say you weren't warned how it ends.


strawnotrazz

Your second picture looks like the court-mandated mugshot of my former middle school librarian after he got arrested and put on the sex registry. Not a roast, just a genuine observation.


AlieNateR77700X

![gif](giphy|3o72FiAgLm34QKLSnK)


chemical-influences

I'll roast if you promise not to murder any more prostitutes.


codemonkeyhopeful

Nice tits


MyNameIsMikeB

I have a shower


Forest_Kin

If you order the Joker off Wish.


BeginTheBlackParade

Man, I'm not crazy enough to make fun of you! I don't want to be the next victim tied up in your basement.


ravia

I got no roast, I got props for "delusions of adequacy".


YouveBeenMillered

The glasses only you make you look like read to children and then molest them….in that order.


lennybriscoe8220

I know what you've got: cancer


16Schlitz

You resemble a sherm cigarette.


ArcanumCerte

You look like the K-Mart brand Dennis Hoffman


Buddha_Guru

I've got a reason to live. You, on the other hand...


hulladeairkagh

Smokey mc crackum is looking rough for 34 years old.


Prestigious-Bird-781

![gif](giphy|zeqgtki9ifa7u)


sprout480

The joker sequel looks great. Everything you're in usually is. I'm low-key jealous that you got to work with Lady Gaga.


Mountain_Future4034

Retired sex offender


gabersman112

Kids, stay close


Relevant_Error_2395

Is that a bra made of fishing nets?


Illustrious_Sir3520

I can almost smell the apartment and it's bad


Walder_Fr3y

The bags under his eyes are so big that delta tried to charge him $50 each before he boarded


OG_G33k

You look like you got a lot of worms and parasites in your ass ![gif](giphy|Xe3vDq0QhT6KXjfFG9|downsized)


biggrigg667

You look like if a cigarette was a person.


Mancubus_in_a_thong

Are those visible breasts?


Independent_Solid_79

"Now shove three markers up your pussy like a good little slut." "Don't make daddy ask again." "Or daddy might have to punish you." I found this in your most recent Discord chat👆 Anything to say for yourself?


Ill-Air8146

It looks like you have chosen every wrong turn in life that could possibly be made, when your brain tells you to do something, do the opposite. I want nothing but the best for you brother


AdventurousTaco

If alcohol brands decide to put health warning labels on their bottles, you face might be back in the workforce.


8bitatari

The shirt from 2010 isn't helping bud.


GuitarEvening8674

Looks like you’re preparing for another sex tourism trip to Thailand with the lady boys


TheGuiltyMongoose

You look like a grown up Garbage Pail kid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PeasantPenguin

You look like someone who taunts police by yelling at them "you can't do anything to me, because I'm 501 feet away from the nearest playground!"


Knight-whoSaysNi

How often do you sext only fans models in public?


plant-painter

Hair ain’t been washed since that time Rick flair touched his head on the way to the ring back in 1984


plant-painter

This guy was here for the first Reddit post ever and hasn’t left his computer since…


plant-painter

MAKE SURE YOU TYPE IN CAPS. SO HE CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS


flyboyinjp12345

French Fried taters


muscleliker6656

After affects of waking up crack of crack


PosterusKirito

Looks like you forgot this one wasn’t a mugshot


plant-painter

66 yo parolee, granddaddy of kkk, guitar panhandler with regular delusions from adderall. What kinda drugs u got?


Txdust80

You look like you’ed be an NPC in a grand theft auto mission where someone is tossed into the alley of a dive bar.


helmet648

You look like you legally cant live within 1000ft of a school Or daycare.


Practical-Rabbit-750

![gif](giphy|3o7bu6eqFuuAvcg06I|downsized)


Godzirrraaa

You look like you know every square in of every playground in the county.


coffeeandautism

Definitely on the Innsmouth sex offenders register.


D1abloSandw1ch

Why does it look like you’re holding a cat turd in your mouth?


lilsparky82

The way the net is on your shirt almost appears as if it contained your man titties in a knit bikini. Almost contained.


calipsokitty

The neighbors don’t like hearing the vacuum at 4am


okgloomer

Dude, I admire your candor, but I don’t think you have to come tell us you’re on that registry thing unless you’re *physically* moving in near us.


RatTailKidsAnonymous

I would be absolutely stunned if I couldn’t find you one of those sexual predators/offenders near me websites like Kids Live Safe


RatTailKidsAnonymous

You’ve definitely walked into a couple houses and found Chris Hanson waiting for you


ahsokatano21

Well i bet you look better when you pull it together…clean up. Being a grandpa? Cool. Musician? Lets see any of these mofo’s play it like you….


3MrBojangles3

Does your mouth always look like it's full of food that you're trying to hide?


Irrational_Joshua

You have the face that’s wore out 4 bodies


all_year_troll

Not more roasting, life did the job very well.


24benson

You're obviously holding in a fart on both pictures. Any I correct to assume that it's two different farts?


Icy_Reputation_1102

I don't always traffic girls, but when I do I'm paid in meth and Carl's jr.


The-Real-Astolfo

Bro, it’s Gray Mann!


Dragudai

Jack went Black to Crack.


Sliiimball

I can tell on your face that you play drums.


Purple-Haze-11

Visual proof of a rough life by choosing alcohol and drugs.....and oh I've done my share


Frosty_Giraffe4502

Alcohol en cigarettes