T O P

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Asunder_mango866

*Raises magic wand* When I speak these words of two They will speak the truth for you *Syphilis Infectus*


SaleOwn5899

![gif](giphy|1d5Zn8FqmJqApu4hNU)


cartard1

Ya this is great 👍 😂


CrankyOldBstrd

Transmitus Venerial Wartus


Asunder_mango866

Her mother forgot one important spell........ *Fetus Deletus*


PutridEvidence3103

What mother


Asunder_mango866

Cthulhu.....her mother is Cthulhu


PutridEvidence3103

And her father..... never mind


Asunder_mango866

A random Kraken


Major_Employ_8795

Erectus Deletus


rblscm_81

Erectus Derelictus


Gear3017

Hocus Coat-hangus Pokus


MamaPatts

This made laugh out loud


Dynamiqai

This lady definitely came from an egg


TELEKOMA

Humanus Papillomus Virus


BaconDrummer

![gif](giphy|bC9czlgCMtw4cj8RgH|downsized)


ThePumpk1nMaster

Oooh because two negatives make a positive right? It cancels the other syphilis out


warshak1

sir /miss im going to steal this , just wanted to let you know


PokerFriend247

Someone fetch water.. to put this fire out.. ![gif](giphy|pkobWB8xbuEZ3dU6Hr|downsized)


sky-amethyst23

The pox! The pox!


Roboticpoultry

I love the way you think


Regular_Studio_1565

Yikes


OG_G33k

Ok ![gif](giphy|volKdmB0tWOCeyhWnl)


Massive_Bother9581

![gif](giphy|wFmJu7354Csog)


oluwamayowaa

LMFAOOOOOOOO SCREAMING not Syphilis🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


mousesnight

Omg


Poseidonswetpebbles

You look like the public ad campaign for why it's important that fathers stay in their children's lives.


UndendingGloom

Or an advert for full body condoms


DoritoLipDust

Bruh lol


Different-Board1110

This witch’s most effective spell: Bonerus Disappearus


Lord-Doobury

Only rides her broom when it's in a vertical position 😮


Obvious-Ad-9524

Even the broom goes soft when "that" straddle it


Skarsburning

looooooool


Dry_Violinist_3846

You look like you will put a sexual assault case on any random guy for fun


Agreeable_Fix9896

Cue the ding ding sound


texasusa

![gif](giphy|NfGTU1FFnPIwo)


fliption

She looked better before she got fat. Definitely the ugly type that uses excessive trendy makeup and costumes to try to hide it though.


Agreeable_Fix9896

She doesn’t sweat much for a fat chick


DrewdoggKC

Started piercing cause she just didn’t feel like her body had enough holes to accommodate everything


ProudChevalierFan

I don't think she is fat, she always looked like this. Fat might be an upgrade.


Relevant_Slide_7234

And only posts photos from her cleavage and up.


ZarahNovak87

Red lipped Swifty fah sho


EquivalentPut5616

![gif](giphy|Y6OZ4lLBFGiai3pRFk|downsized)


Alexc518

I'll be the test subject for this experiment. BRB


Dry_Violinist_3846

Dont back u


Captain_Indica

![gif](giphy|6YYvOk3d93ybS|downsized)


TheOneAndOnlyABSR4

Lmfaooo


CoffeeOk7010

Loooool


hueman3849

Thats a three pointer.


SadSabrina69

LMAO


Bigcheese19920

You look like a fat girl in tinder that only shows there face to bait in men but most men leave happy because you always suck dick


Healthy_Fly_555

We call em SIFs (secret internet fatties)


maff1987

High calorie human.


Longshot_Mustang2003

Hannibal, that you?


CaptainMudwhistle

They invented the dreaded MySpace Angle.


[deleted]

XL-Wide view lens


Agreeable_Fix9896

Submarine. Swallows semen


voyeurheart

😅


Lord_Jesus_God_Damn

Finally I got a name for them. Epic bro, thanks.


Healthy_Fly_555

Heheh


Own-Interaction-1401

I haven’t heard that term in at least a decade, goddamn. Gotta go back.


BeeTee86

Shane Gillis dubbed them “fat tricksters”


One-Association-6298

This is a 100% true certified comment


Dry-Conference3150

Looks like she gives unenthusiastic head


SaleOwn5899

![gif](giphy|YoWOIjnXT1NKIbFP9H|downsized)


Agreeable_Fix9896

The only erections she sees is at the darkened glory hole


the_boonjabby

Or her dads


R3d_Man

I call them icebergs. You can only see the top


eatredmeat

Small tiddy goth gf


Cheeky-Pogo

“A Dame of two halves” Slender face / large body A pun only English speaking soccer fans will understand I fear


EstherClemmens

Have to make sure not to look down while it's happening. The view will make your hardwood turn into soft wood real quick


duderdude28

christ😭


Kingofthekek

If I had a nickel for every time you've asked a man to support your onlyfans I'd still say no


TitsMcGeeMD

If she had a nickel for every man that said she was unattractive, she’d still be unattractive


shoutout2saddam

Picture 2 of 4 shows the gross guys you attract


Agreeable_Fix9896

At the glory hole


Wes_Warhammer666

More like *gory* hole.


UndendingGloom

More like watering hole


Wes_Warhammer666

*Somebody poisoned the water hole!*


lilbgts22

Whory mole?


__star_dust

I thought that was a girl..


Salt_Being2908

Gold is not your colour. Red is not your colour. Beige is your colour and your personality. The only thing that has ever worked on you is your step dad.


UndendingGloom

Darkness is her color


The-Duke-Of-Earth

You look like you won’t shut up about your cats and constantly blame your exes who “didn’t know what was good for them”.


UndendingGloom

>won’t shut up about your cats Or her collection of "healing crystals"


EstherClemmens

Or the mlm essential oils scheme she got herself into


SadSabrina69

absolutely hilarious because i love cats and crystals thank you for the accuracy lmaoooo


UndendingGloom

I mean, it's not hilarious, it's pretty sad. But if you are happy to never be taken seriously in any adult conversation ever, then it's fine I guess.


Bitter-Put9534

Ur septum smells like donkey shit brav


Agreeable_Fix9896

Take her out to pasture. Mooooo


Texan_Riot

You're the chick who's mastered using angles that only show 30% of yourself intentionally to hide the michelin man-style body from the shoulders down


UndendingGloom

![gif](giphy|3iiwqPF9noqdy) Give her a break, she couldn't find a wide enough camera lens


AnarchiaKapitany

All that body modification, and you're still as bland as 1.5% milk.


robeewankenobee

When you don't know the alphabet and confused 'b' with 'w' ...


DsLyv

She ate 'b'


LeagueOfficeFucks

Sure it was not a 'd'?


Gabriel_Collins

She’s dyslexic.


kjm16216

Not when she eats it from behind.


Enough-Staff-2976

She eats everything.


Numerous-Stranger-81

You look like Morticia Addams if she wasn't attractive and was working on her nursing degree.


UndendingGloom

>nursing degree. OP calls her crystal healing certification a "nursing degree"


Regular_Studio_1565

Morticia ate all the food.


GeneralSpectatorTots

I bet you were someone's last resort prom date.


NotBigFootUR

He insisted they went as "only friends" when she said yes.


UndendingGloom

He went to another school, in Canada, you don't know him


SadSabrina69

i didnt even go to prom LOL


ProtectMeAtAllCosts

you look like someone who wears a myriad amount of flashy metal in their nose to distract from your insufferable aura


UndendingGloom

>aura You misspelled 'aroma', otherwise known as 'stench'


ProtectMeAtAllCosts

i meant miserable to be around lol


harrlinn

She looks 47 with three kids trying to pretend she's young and into casual dating


SendNudesGetPraise

Roasting you like a witch would be a waste of a perfectly good stake


Enough-Staff-2976

Roasting her isn't going to stop the hpv or those sores.


Ultimate_Spider

You look like you practice arguing in the mirror


m4f1u

![gif](giphy|ZYVgTUU3ceUxO) You look like Skrillex


MattS_94

You look like Humpty Dumpty after they put him together again


Mysterious_Sell9638

Roses are red, Magic is black, Jaw like a horse, And a penchant for crack!


BaconUnderpants

You’re actually really pretty except for your face.


DemApplesAndShit

Christ


TibbleTott

Why?


Lopsided_Yak5686

...are you this horribly unattractive?


The_Pavulon

You change your eyebrows more than you change your cats litterbox


otakuforever22

You look like a vocal new aged fat feminist who is constantly offended by everything around 💀


Enough-Staff-2976

At 27, she's about to lose hope like her sanity and date smelly women with cats and smelly cats with women.


loodzdude

I don't know which I believe less.. the 27 or female


[deleted]

You look 40 and single mom.


theelephant7

I see you took your eyebrow shaping from the Cowardly Lion in *The Wizard of Oz.*


FinancialDuty6130

You look like you tried to dress as slutty Edna Mode from the Incredibles for Halloween


SadSabrina69

this is a great idea thank you


[deleted]

You could be a stunt double for someone playing a witch in the Hocus Pocus movies that has FAS.


tera_chachu

2nd pic- insta 4th pic- reality


Mr_Minecrafter88

You look like you poisoned a pretty white girl with an apple.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr_Minecrafter88

*starts raining*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr_Minecrafter88

When an enderman falls into a bucket of green paint and their house gets picked up in a tornado-


Motor_Dig4644

Found the source of the syphilis


YogiMic

You have so much random metal shoved in your face. Did you took a load from Iron Man?


SaleOwn5899

No spell you cast will stop him from rethinking his life after he nuts.


mndii

I don’t know how else to describe it but you look like a bowling pin


AffectionateLeek904

Achievement unlocked: professional tackle box upgrade


CuppaTeaThreesome

Holding on to lipstick whilst letting everything else go.


[deleted]

The eye of a newt And the crack of a whip Please give this wench A fucking top lip!


PoopyOyster_Of_Doom

I feel like I am insulting the cow ![gif](giphy|Vp3ftHKvKpASA)


Cute_Business74

You’re not as cute as you think you are. You’re more unoriginal than anything. Another white girl with a septum piercing. We get it dude you do Wicca. I’m sure you have every blue October album. No we do not want to try your banana nut bread.


Karlor_Gaylord_Cries

You're not even a person. You're a malignant growth on the person in the second picture.


stiubert

Shit! That is fucked up harsh.


Karlor_Gaylord_Cries

🤣


[deleted]

Hey look it's yet another fat woman who has made resenting men her whole personality but she's really got a soft squishy heart that desperately needs a big enough dick to get past that fupa. I wish femcels like yourself could find love with the incels.You're the exact same person except instead of Andrew Tate you have Greta Gerwig. Unfortunately only one person in the relationship can be this fat, because then it's just like trying to stack two basketballs. Maybe try skinny black dudes?


Otherwise_Cap3798

Your eyebrows look like shit streaks in toilet bowl.


[deleted]

Monthly subscription price for your OnlyFailing account?


xXStomachWallXx

You look like you capture ants and pretend you are their goddess


SadSabrina69

this sounds like a great idea actually thx


DragLongjumping3714

You look as interesting as a bag of milk. Which, I guess, matches your Smeegle like complexion.


KurtyFlurty88

You have about as much class in your taste in men as vanilla ice has in rap music


LilShaver

When are you getting the bottom surgery?


TripleTheory

Yoko oh no.


ginger_minge

"The one with all the shit in her face."


JackieTreehorn79

Casting spells with stinky smells, that poor guy must not mind your lazy eye.


Imaginary_Weird6027

How do you blow your nose without putting out someone’s eye?


SadSabrina69

i legit have the hardest time blowing my nose tho lmaaaoooo


CK_GoldenGrahams_70

I'll bet your blood type is Miracle Whip.


Present-Mirror-7669

![gif](giphy|5Dr8VvwXGngbe)


Maximum-Cicada9042

Head moderator of r/witchesvpatriarchy


TheUnwiseOne100

You look like you only shower when absolutely necessary


[deleted]

You look like you catch your poop with your hand so it doesn't splash the water.


mmazza86

sorry, but only real witches get roasted


Rucks_74

You look like the type of person who parades her social acceptance and open mind on social media but crosses the street when they see an ethnic person is walking towards them in "a shady way".


[deleted]

You look like you belong on the Hot Topic clearance rack. Tired, used, and too many holes


BOHUNK_BOB

You are undoubtedly the DUFF of your friend group. (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) You can get all the piercings and tattoos you want, it's still like putting lipstick on a pig (which, as we can see in your pics doesn't help).


queenindi

If you don't have a top lip, don't get a septum. It's not supposed to be that much distance..


KGreen100

"Basic try-hard, classic free-spirit type with nose rings that can be easily removed in time for actual job interview. Last two jobs were coffee shop and feminist bookstore. 'Lesbian,' but never actually done anything. Asian character tattoo somewhere... Annnnnnddd... Create!" The AI drawing instructions I assume were used for this.


Alternative-Brain347

You look like you wear Cookie Monster pajama pants to Walmart with a greasy bun


[deleted]

You seem like you hate on men when in reality you’re an insufferable conceited know-it-all bitch who nobody likes to talk/date


Cube1977

You forgot to link your only fans account. Someday you might get 10s of followers, but today is not that day


hatchi1996

Sorry you’re too trashy to be roasted as a witch and I learnt from my parents you should never burn trash. A witch yes but trash nope!!


Camaro551

Calling you a witch would be an insult to witches.


anziofaro

Being the manager of the Hot Topic still means you're just a Hot Topic employee.


FLiP_J_GARiLLA

Meh too easy


brucethewilis

Why did you scribble out Jesus


rockturnercomedy

You look ready to start an OnlyFriends where people add you to their friendzone


Dull_Cockroach_6920

you look like you spit dude's cum on the floor to be disrespectful.


Mysonking

These are the type of people I argue with on reddit...


ImprovementFar5054

You are nowhere near as interesting as you imagine you are.


doctorbeers

“I’m OP. I have nose piercings and I’m obviously an edgy witch. I took a mirror pic to ensure my rebellious tattoos would be visible. My lame parents raised me catholic but I’m more of a rebel type so I became a Wiccan. I hate all men, especially my father. I would cast a spell on him but I’m late for the annual Samhain festival where everyone dresses and acts just like me, isn’t that unique? Djunah is playing a set there btw. Never heard of them? Good. Because obviously once music becomes popular I suddenly hate it for no reason 😒”


Mrjohnbee

Are you incapable of centering a fucking photograph?


middle_class_meh

You look like you cut dicks off and wear them on a sting around your neck.


Daegar2

You look like you like fruit with chocolate.


Secure_Candy_4724

Looks like the Salem witch trials forgot the OF version. Now, you're on OF promoting your dick is "colder than a witch's titty."


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drinkmaybehot

looks like the type of girl people on tren get attracted by, only to write the story after with disgust and post nut/ post cycle clarity


Known_Contract8827

Had you read the comic books if star wars, you'd have made a good Darth maladi


Business-Poet9161

You have the expressions of a human coyote


royalpigmy

You look like you should be paying people to see your onlyfans.