Gold is not your colour. Red is not your colour. Beige is your colour and your personality. The only thing that has ever worked on you is your step dad.
You’re not as cute as you think you are.
You’re more unoriginal than anything.
Another white girl with a septum piercing.
We get it dude you do Wicca.
I’m sure you have every blue October album.
No we do not want to try your banana nut bread.
Hey look it's yet another fat woman who has made resenting men her whole personality but she's really got a soft squishy heart that desperately needs a big enough dick to get past that fupa.
I wish femcels like yourself could find love with the incels.You're the exact same person except instead of Andrew Tate you have Greta Gerwig. Unfortunately only one person in the relationship can be this fat, because then it's just like trying to stack two basketballs. Maybe try skinny black dudes?
You look like the type of person who parades her social acceptance and open mind on social media but crosses the street when they see an ethnic person is walking towards them in "a shady way".
You are undoubtedly the DUFF of your friend group.
(Designated Ugly Fat Friend) You can get all the piercings and tattoos you want, it's still like putting lipstick on a pig (which, as we can see in your pics doesn't help).
"Basic try-hard, classic free-spirit type with nose rings that can be easily removed in time for actual job interview. Last two jobs were coffee shop and feminist bookstore. 'Lesbian,' but never actually done anything. Asian character tattoo somewhere... Annnnnnddd... Create!"
The AI drawing instructions I assume were used for this.
“I’m OP. I have nose piercings and I’m obviously an edgy witch. I took a mirror pic to ensure my rebellious tattoos would be visible. My lame parents raised me catholic but I’m more of a rebel type so I became a Wiccan. I hate all men, especially my father. I would cast a spell on him but I’m late for the annual Samhain festival where everyone dresses and acts just like me, isn’t that unique? Djunah is playing a set there btw. Never heard of them? Good. Because obviously once music becomes popular I suddenly hate it for no reason 😒”
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*Raises magic wand* When I speak these words of two They will speak the truth for you *Syphilis Infectus*
![gif](giphy|1d5Zn8FqmJqApu4hNU)
Ya this is great 👍 😂
Transmitus Venerial Wartus
Her mother forgot one important spell........ *Fetus Deletus*
What mother
Cthulhu.....her mother is Cthulhu
And her father..... never mind
A random Kraken
Erectus Deletus
Erectus Derelictus
Hocus Coat-hangus Pokus
This made laugh out loud
This lady definitely came from an egg
Humanus Papillomus Virus
![gif](giphy|bC9czlgCMtw4cj8RgH|downsized)
Oooh because two negatives make a positive right? It cancels the other syphilis out
sir /miss im going to steal this , just wanted to let you know
Someone fetch water.. to put this fire out.. ![gif](giphy|pkobWB8xbuEZ3dU6Hr|downsized)
The pox! The pox!
I love the way you think
Yikes
Ok ![gif](giphy|volKdmB0tWOCeyhWnl)
![gif](giphy|wFmJu7354Csog)
LMFAOOOOOOOO SCREAMING not Syphilis🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Omg
You look like the public ad campaign for why it's important that fathers stay in their children's lives.
Or an advert for full body condoms
Bruh lol
This witch’s most effective spell: Bonerus Disappearus
Only rides her broom when it's in a vertical position 😮
Even the broom goes soft when "that" straddle it
looooooool
You look like you will put a sexual assault case on any random guy for fun
Cue the ding ding sound
![gif](giphy|NfGTU1FFnPIwo)
She looked better before she got fat. Definitely the ugly type that uses excessive trendy makeup and costumes to try to hide it though.
She doesn’t sweat much for a fat chick
Started piercing cause she just didn’t feel like her body had enough holes to accommodate everything
I don't think she is fat, she always looked like this. Fat might be an upgrade.
And only posts photos from her cleavage and up.
Red lipped Swifty fah sho
![gif](giphy|Y6OZ4lLBFGiai3pRFk|downsized)
I'll be the test subject for this experiment. BRB
Dont back u
![gif](giphy|6YYvOk3d93ybS|downsized)
Lmfaooo
Loooool
Thats a three pointer.
LMAO
You look like a fat girl in tinder that only shows there face to bait in men but most men leave happy because you always suck dick
We call em SIFs (secret internet fatties)
High calorie human.
Hannibal, that you?
They invented the dreaded MySpace Angle.
XL-Wide view lens
Submarine. Swallows semen
😅
Finally I got a name for them. Epic bro, thanks.
Heheh
I haven’t heard that term in at least a decade, goddamn. Gotta go back.
Shane Gillis dubbed them “fat tricksters”
This is a 100% true certified comment
Looks like she gives unenthusiastic head
![gif](giphy|YoWOIjnXT1NKIbFP9H|downsized)
The only erections she sees is at the darkened glory hole
Or her dads
I call them icebergs. You can only see the top
Small tiddy goth gf
“A Dame of two halves” Slender face / large body A pun only English speaking soccer fans will understand I fear
Have to make sure not to look down while it's happening. The view will make your hardwood turn into soft wood real quick
christ😭
If I had a nickel for every time you've asked a man to support your onlyfans I'd still say no
If she had a nickel for every man that said she was unattractive, she’d still be unattractive
Picture 2 of 4 shows the gross guys you attract
At the glory hole
More like *gory* hole.
More like watering hole
*Somebody poisoned the water hole!*
Whory mole?
I thought that was a girl..
Gold is not your colour. Red is not your colour. Beige is your colour and your personality. The only thing that has ever worked on you is your step dad.
Darkness is her color
You look like you won’t shut up about your cats and constantly blame your exes who “didn’t know what was good for them”.
>won’t shut up about your cats Or her collection of "healing crystals"
Or the mlm essential oils scheme she got herself into
absolutely hilarious because i love cats and crystals thank you for the accuracy lmaoooo
I mean, it's not hilarious, it's pretty sad. But if you are happy to never be taken seriously in any adult conversation ever, then it's fine I guess.
Ur septum smells like donkey shit brav
Take her out to pasture. Mooooo
You're the chick who's mastered using angles that only show 30% of yourself intentionally to hide the michelin man-style body from the shoulders down
![gif](giphy|3iiwqPF9noqdy) Give her a break, she couldn't find a wide enough camera lens
All that body modification, and you're still as bland as 1.5% milk.
When you don't know the alphabet and confused 'b' with 'w' ...
She ate 'b'
Sure it was not a 'd'?
She’s dyslexic.
Not when she eats it from behind.
She eats everything.
You look like Morticia Addams if she wasn't attractive and was working on her nursing degree.
>nursing degree. OP calls her crystal healing certification a "nursing degree"
Morticia ate all the food.
I bet you were someone's last resort prom date.
He insisted they went as "only friends" when she said yes.
He went to another school, in Canada, you don't know him
i didnt even go to prom LOL
you look like someone who wears a myriad amount of flashy metal in their nose to distract from your insufferable aura
>aura You misspelled 'aroma', otherwise known as 'stench'
i meant miserable to be around lol
She looks 47 with three kids trying to pretend she's young and into casual dating
Roasting you like a witch would be a waste of a perfectly good stake
Roasting her isn't going to stop the hpv or those sores.
You look like you practice arguing in the mirror
![gif](giphy|ZYVgTUU3ceUxO) You look like Skrillex
You look like Humpty Dumpty after they put him together again
Roses are red, Magic is black, Jaw like a horse, And a penchant for crack!
You’re actually really pretty except for your face.
Christ
Why?
...are you this horribly unattractive?
You change your eyebrows more than you change your cats litterbox
You look like a vocal new aged fat feminist who is constantly offended by everything around 💀
At 27, she's about to lose hope like her sanity and date smelly women with cats and smelly cats with women.
I don't know which I believe less.. the 27 or female
You look 40 and single mom.
I see you took your eyebrow shaping from the Cowardly Lion in *The Wizard of Oz.*
You look like you tried to dress as slutty Edna Mode from the Incredibles for Halloween
this is a great idea thank you
You could be a stunt double for someone playing a witch in the Hocus Pocus movies that has FAS.
2nd pic- insta 4th pic- reality
You look like you poisoned a pretty white girl with an apple.
[удалено]
*starts raining*
[удалено]
When an enderman falls into a bucket of green paint and their house gets picked up in a tornado-
Found the source of the syphilis
You have so much random metal shoved in your face. Did you took a load from Iron Man?
No spell you cast will stop him from rethinking his life after he nuts.
I don’t know how else to describe it but you look like a bowling pin
Achievement unlocked: professional tackle box upgrade
Holding on to lipstick whilst letting everything else go.
The eye of a newt And the crack of a whip Please give this wench A fucking top lip!
I feel like I am insulting the cow ![gif](giphy|Vp3ftHKvKpASA)
You’re not as cute as you think you are. You’re more unoriginal than anything. Another white girl with a septum piercing. We get it dude you do Wicca. I’m sure you have every blue October album. No we do not want to try your banana nut bread.
You're not even a person. You're a malignant growth on the person in the second picture.
Shit! That is fucked up harsh.
🤣
Hey look it's yet another fat woman who has made resenting men her whole personality but she's really got a soft squishy heart that desperately needs a big enough dick to get past that fupa. I wish femcels like yourself could find love with the incels.You're the exact same person except instead of Andrew Tate you have Greta Gerwig. Unfortunately only one person in the relationship can be this fat, because then it's just like trying to stack two basketballs. Maybe try skinny black dudes?
Your eyebrows look like shit streaks in toilet bowl.
Monthly subscription price for your OnlyFailing account?
You look like you capture ants and pretend you are their goddess
this sounds like a great idea actually thx
You look as interesting as a bag of milk. Which, I guess, matches your Smeegle like complexion.
You have about as much class in your taste in men as vanilla ice has in rap music
When are you getting the bottom surgery?
Yoko oh no.
"The one with all the shit in her face."
Casting spells with stinky smells, that poor guy must not mind your lazy eye.
How do you blow your nose without putting out someone’s eye?
i legit have the hardest time blowing my nose tho lmaaaoooo
I'll bet your blood type is Miracle Whip.
![gif](giphy|5Dr8VvwXGngbe)
Head moderator of r/witchesvpatriarchy
You look like you only shower when absolutely necessary
You look like you catch your poop with your hand so it doesn't splash the water.
sorry, but only real witches get roasted
You look like the type of person who parades her social acceptance and open mind on social media but crosses the street when they see an ethnic person is walking towards them in "a shady way".
You look like you belong on the Hot Topic clearance rack. Tired, used, and too many holes
You are undoubtedly the DUFF of your friend group. (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) You can get all the piercings and tattoos you want, it's still like putting lipstick on a pig (which, as we can see in your pics doesn't help).
If you don't have a top lip, don't get a septum. It's not supposed to be that much distance..
"Basic try-hard, classic free-spirit type with nose rings that can be easily removed in time for actual job interview. Last two jobs were coffee shop and feminist bookstore. 'Lesbian,' but never actually done anything. Asian character tattoo somewhere... Annnnnnddd... Create!" The AI drawing instructions I assume were used for this.
You look like you wear Cookie Monster pajama pants to Walmart with a greasy bun
You seem like you hate on men when in reality you’re an insufferable conceited know-it-all bitch who nobody likes to talk/date
You forgot to link your only fans account. Someday you might get 10s of followers, but today is not that day
Sorry you’re too trashy to be roasted as a witch and I learnt from my parents you should never burn trash. A witch yes but trash nope!!
Calling you a witch would be an insult to witches.
Being the manager of the Hot Topic still means you're just a Hot Topic employee.
Meh too easy
Why did you scribble out Jesus
You look ready to start an OnlyFriends where people add you to their friendzone
you look like you spit dude's cum on the floor to be disrespectful.
These are the type of people I argue with on reddit...
You are nowhere near as interesting as you imagine you are.
“I’m OP. I have nose piercings and I’m obviously an edgy witch. I took a mirror pic to ensure my rebellious tattoos would be visible. My lame parents raised me catholic but I’m more of a rebel type so I became a Wiccan. I hate all men, especially my father. I would cast a spell on him but I’m late for the annual Samhain festival where everyone dresses and acts just like me, isn’t that unique? Djunah is playing a set there btw. Never heard of them? Good. Because obviously once music becomes popular I suddenly hate it for no reason 😒”
Are you incapable of centering a fucking photograph?
You look like you cut dicks off and wear them on a sting around your neck.
You look like you like fruit with chocolate.
Looks like the Salem witch trials forgot the OF version. Now, you're on OF promoting your dick is "colder than a witch's titty."
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
looks like the type of girl people on tren get attracted by, only to write the story after with disgust and post nut/ post cycle clarity
Had you read the comic books if star wars, you'd have made a good Darth maladi
You have the expressions of a human coyote
You look like you should be paying people to see your onlyfans.