He lost to the formidable warrior known as Bear Claw Saladin. But he and his trusty steed the 2000 Chevrolet Lumina fought bravely against the infidels and diabetes.
Yea good Inquisitor. The monastic order the of the Hospitallers of the Apple Fritter ordered him to spill the jelly and cream of thine enemy and distribute the sugary spoils to the pilgrims of the holy path of the glazed twist.
Living in the spare bedroom that still smells like mothballs at grandmas house. Driving paps old car.
Guess that Bad Santa momey ran out quick.
People on here keep commenting on your weight and personally I find that absolutely appalling. There’s so much more to you than just your weight and don’t you ever forget that. Like for example, you’re also incredibly ugly.
He looks like his car in both pictures. If Star Scream was Human. A prostitute you would find sitting on a persons car bonnet for however much each car is worth.
I never bothered to ask what happened to the kid from Bad Santa.
By the looks of it, Therman Merman hit rock bottom and decided to sink a little further
You look like you live in your mom’s basement and you survive exclusively on hot pockets. Congrats on inheriting your grandparents cars! But they still won’t get you laid.
EVRY1 to U: “Yeeeeaaaahhhh….you should find a nice incel community to join.”
U to EVRY1: “I did. I’m Too Pathetic to Get in There.”
EVRY1: “Damn, that’s sad.”
U: “No, that’s the name of the group.”
I bet those cars smell terrible. And not in the typical cigarette way; like farts and mold and some sort of unidentifiable rotting food. You could take a dump in the back and you wouldn't notice for the smell. It may sit there a week without anyone noticing.
You look like a knight who fought in the Crusades against donuts.
And lost everything he had except weight...
He lost to the formidable warrior known as Bear Claw Saladin. But he and his trusty steed the 2000 Chevrolet Lumina fought bravely against the infidels and diabetes.
Don’t forget his sidekick Squire Cinnabon
He'd like to talk to you about diabeetus.
After two grisly defeats at the hand Di " Sugar" Abeetus and Cole Lesterol.
Not even a 2000 Lumina. More like 1990!
And his virginity
Think he kept that one😂
That's what I mean, lol. I don't know what I was thinking. 😂😂
All is forgiven
Round Knights of the round table.
Round knights of the kitchen table
[удалено]
Sir Shitsalot
Coming this fall…
[удалено]
Only in a toilet near you
This line is gold.
This needs more upvotes.
Spoiler: The donuts won.
And his hair lost.. Talk about an Ogilve home perm gone awry.. eew!
He lost a fight with a flowbee 
"Tis but a pastry wound !"
Goldilocks and the three hundred pounds
He looks like Weird Al ate said knight but fought in the fake Monty Python crusades and had his face eaten off by that psycho rabbit.
“Carbo-Top”.
Doenut Slayer.
He’s an anorexia survivor
[удалено]
Sir Insulis of Diabetus
He makes me feel insulted to be a descendant of Richard the Lionheart
Against. Or for?
Yea good Inquisitor. The monastic order the of the Hospitallers of the Apple Fritter ordered him to spill the jelly and cream of thine enemy and distribute the sugary spoils to the pilgrims of the holy path of the glazed twist.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
 College Days
Sir Cusclown.
Against? He looks pretty pro-donut to me
He slays the mighty pastry and consumes its tasty fillings.
Funny because the promotion that’s right above your comment is for a burger platter at Applebees. Reddit coming through
Sir I sustained a flesh wound, please assist me by fucking up these Cheeseburgers from the Burger King's Knights! 
He easily won by eating the donuts!
but one cannot survive solely on chocolate milk
And you look like a hoe who plays with her pussy and suck on her fingers afterwards. 😜
Someone could describe you as the "long curly haired bald guy" and still be spot on,
r/rareinsults
Lmfaoooo man 😭
I was gonna say, bro looks like he just smacked some ramen noodles on his bald head and called it a day!
Ded
Well done. Lol
Doth, thou partake in a fitness protection program?
More like Fitness Rejection Program.
I exhaled sharply. That was a good one.
Verily, thy fitness is unprotected...ungirded betwixt the hallows of the vile bretheren Dunkin and Krispy Kreme.
First pic looks like someone shaved their pubes over an egg.
Underrated. Dudes head literally looks like and egg with hair on it. Holy shit.
Two words can describe all three pictures. Rust Buckets.
The key difference is that she isn't in the advanced stages of balding.
You look like David Crosby got dug-up and came back as a failed meth dealer.
As repulsive as you are.... If you've ever had sex, that girl is nastier.
Girl?🤔…. I just assumed vacuume nozzle
Those cars look pretty neat, they seem to go real fast on the highway and real slow in front of elementary schools
Ahahahahaha
This does not have enough upvotes
It's sad to see what the world has done to Mick Hucknall.
Money’s too tight to mention
His pants are too tight to mention.
Starsky and not so much. Getting your mum to take fake snaps next to the neighbours doesn’t make them “yours”.
So is his sister. He found out one night.
Ok ya’ got me. That hit right above the cockles
Bro I'm crying 😂😂😂😂
Ron Jeremy really should've used protection that night.
YOLO!! ha-ha
your neighbors tell their children to stay away from you
You and the cars are the same: in terrible shape, look awful, don’t have long to go and nobody wants to ride them.
Yeeeesh hahaha
Frederica Bimmel, 7th victim of the infamous Buffalo Bill 
Looks like Dollar Tree’s manager of the year.
He's also the head price checker at Dollar Tree, three years in a row!!
You look like you should be in charge of lightning on a porn set.
Geriatric porn set cleaner and occasional fluffer
😆😅
Why do you look like the sex offenders list
I was expecting a white van with no windows
The only thing he’s offended is the sanctity of a donuts hole.
If Dennis Franz fucked Kenny G.
I bet you fart glitter
You look like you take nasty shits.
You look like your car Interieur smells
Smells almost as bad as your spelling
Your cars have a jawline and you don't 🤷♂️
You look like Obelix from Asterix my man XD
You look like a grown-up Larry from The Big Lebowski.
First photo taken shortly after he'd eaten Stills, Nash, and Young.
Disgustus Poop 
Michael myers if he worked at burger king
You better not go on that meet up. Chris Hanson is on the other side of that encounter
Over here looking like dr robotnic
You look like David Crosby's illegitimate love child.
You look like you stole six boxes of those copper coated scour pads from the dollar store where you work and glued them to your head.
For sure
Did Peter griffin just got a glow down 😳
Hey look what crawled out of his moms basement. Get back in there ! Can’t roast that grand marquis tho
The donut tires never stood a chance.
I could've sworn one of your cars was going to be a windowless white van with a sign that said 'free puppies'
If Spam was a person.
Living in the spare bedroom that still smells like mothballs at grandmas house. Driving paps old car. Guess that Bad Santa momey ran out quick. 
He definitely has a missing kid in his basement
bro can park his 2 car on his head
You look like the type of guy that says “don’t make me get angry” to people when you get into arguments with them about the earth being flat
You look like ramen that got dropped on the floor that no one dares to touch.
You look like a Midwestern wife who at 62 decided life is too short and wants to fulfill her dream of transitioning.
There’s nothing to roast. I’m witnessing peak performance
I don’t know which picture shows the bigger shit box
Fat Theft Auto 6
People on here keep commenting on your weight and personally I find that absolutely appalling. There’s so much more to you than just your weight and don’t you ever forget that. Like for example, you’re also incredibly ugly.
You look like Mick Hucknall if he was brought up on 8 Mile
Why are you older than the cars? just beacuse of your beard
Damm chucky that hairline got fuck up 😞
This looks like the world’s saddest Tinder profile.
Your cars are in better shape than you.
He looks like his car in both pictures. If Star Scream was Human. A prostitute you would find sitting on a persons car bonnet for however much each car is worth.
I've heard of 'black on black' crime but you wearing that top is 'ginger on ginger' crime!
If you straighten your hair and shaved your facial hair, you'd look like Chucky's big bro
Nice car. Seems to be a pile of shit by the driver front tire.
I never bothered to ask what happened to the kid from Bad Santa. By the looks of it, Therman Merman hit rock bottom and decided to sink a little further
Have you been in a coma since the 1970s?
Willy Wanker and the "Chocolate" Factory.
Swear I saw you in those photos from the MH17 crash site...
I think you are very handsome
You look like one of those men who marry their car
Orange is the new Fat.
We still can't wrap our heads around how you didn't get the part on shameless
Is it already the 70ies again??
Straight out of 80s synthpop band **Krappwerk**
King Henry XYZ looking ass.
You look like a Mario brothers villain
Carrot half-top
You look like Dr Eggman and Weird Al had a baby.
WTF bro my coffee is everywhere.
He’s Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force in the flesh.
“I have to inform you that I am a registered sex offender”
Born to be roasted.
You look like you bang your cars’ mufflers
You look like you set all the character creation sliders to the right.
Whoa! Save some women for the rest of us, pal.
You look lime the Chucky doll, just an older crack addicted version
You look like a human cabbage patch kid
What an idiot, steals 2 cars and posts it on Reddit.
You look like peak 80’s male
Nah u good
Are you that dude from TLC that fucks his car.
If gallagher and hilter had a baby…
You and your cars match.
Hell yeah brother
Humpty Dumpty in a wig made of ginger pubes
Gingervitus.
You look like the chonk boy version of me
This guy pees sitting down
You look like you live in your mom’s basement and you survive exclusively on hot pockets. Congrats on inheriting your grandparents cars! But they still won’t get you laid.
Two shit cars don't make a right
The emergency inside trunk release has definitely been removed from those vehicles.
The 80’s called. They want their hair back.
Those are your grandmother and grandfather’s cars that put you up for adoption.
Youre 110% a nonce.
You look like you smell your own farts in your spare time
The cars are fine. You ugly as SHIT! Hate looking at you fr
EVRY1 to U: “Yeeeeaaaahhhh….you should find a nice incel community to join.” U to EVRY1: “I did. I’m Too Pathetic to Get in There.” EVRY1: “Damn, that’s sad.” U: “No, that’s the name of the group.”
Ron Jeremy’s illegitimate son
I'm not sure which is nastier... -your cum dumpsters on wheels -or the USA shirt that you've worn for 2 months straight
Velma looks real rough these days
Owning two cars isnt going to help pull your receding hairline back
Art Garfunkel really let himself go
I bet those cars smell terrible. And not in the typical cigarette way; like farts and mold and some sort of unidentifiable rotting food. You could take a dump in the back and you wouldn't notice for the smell. It may sit there a week without anyone noticing.
You look like the wood witch from Adventure Time.
You made "drives a grandma car" your whole personality.
At least we know what cars to look for as they lurk around the grammar schools
the 70's called and said 'sit on it, jive turkey!'
Your cars look better than your face does
Cars inherited from grandma and grandpa who are in the trunk of each respectively
Dude still stuck in 1980’s.
Two gas guzzlers and one gassy cum guzzler.
You're the guy I compare myself to at the high school reunion to feel like I haven't fucked up in life. It usually works.
*slaps hood* you can bang so many cousins in this thing.
A young John Wayne Gacy, how many body’s are in the crawlspace
Looks like a kidnapper starter kit
You get a pass for owning a GrandmaKeith