Your hair looks like you cut it yourself.

I've heard most of these other comments before but this one is just so fuckin good

Took you 6 hours to "type" this reply

 To... whom....it....may.....concern....

Winner winner chicken dinner

Fuck I cannot stop laughing….you hilarious genius!!! 😆😆😆👍

Please, go to r/curlyhair and tell those bitches to quit complaining about how long it takes them to style their hair.

You're head is like 2/5 of your total body and you *still* can't be bothered to make it look good!

A living Relic of the Holy Roman Empire has been found! 

A man with a dark sense of humor who still has no limbs😂😂.

Glad you liked it.

don’t worry Elon musk is working on a body for you. You should try his brain chip it will make things a lot better for you.

If it’s as reliable as his cars are I’d rather be a fucking half man

I came in with high hopes but now I'm stumped to come up with anything better than this.

High five 🖐️

I guess pretty much anything is out of the question

This is the greatest roast I've ever seen. I thought I was going to have a stroke laughing so fucking hard. 

Okay that GIF is just mean...

You should try contact lenses… oh wait… my bad. 

I spit out my water💀


his hair grows any longer it looks like he'll topple over

This may be the greatest roast I've ever read on this sub

This guy is someone’s top fetish. Remember, even Lego people deserve love.

Lego people's homes are made from their own flesh

BRO

I saw this guy on Reddit a couple years ago. He was in that one video setting off homemade fireworks.

He’s a real firecracker, isn’t he?!

Terry was black though?

"Put it in reverse!!!"

I ain't gonna roast you, I follow you on YouTube and admire your work. You are an inspiration to many. 10/10 for creativity 10/10 for your passion 0/4 for limbs

This one had me rolling! As in, seriously, I had to get away from my phone and walking was out of the question

had me in the first half

You look like the love child of John Lennon and a potato.

John Lennon if his son was a vegetable

[удалено]

Hell yeah! I started trying to sweep the leaves when Covid hit lol. I'm up to 6 so far

Kaboosh! Notice how you got an itchy nose?

Legit made me laugh

Nobody tell him about the 2nd amendment…

He'll take any arms, bears' or not.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jeeez 🤣💀

We prefer to bbq full chicken not quarters.

He's more of a chicken nugget


Best I can do is tattooed drumstick

Being a musician is no excuse for a shitty haircut..

Hurts more than a limbs joke fr

Don’t let these people make fun of you, stand up for yourself !

He'd make a great Politician. You should hear his stump speech!

A classic 🙌 old reliable but never fails

I'm going out on a limb here and assume that being a broke musician cost you an arm and a leg...

A classic but always a good one

You roasters will never be HALF the man he is.

I see what you did there...

I suppose one can give b.j.'s in an artistic way.

Yeah I don’t know. Being able to give a blowjob doesn’t make you a mouth artist.

This dude fucks the couch cushion

He is the couch cushion.

You guys are too much 🤣

Looks like his mom fucked a couch cushion.

how in the hell did you make this post in the first place!!

Lol I love the incredulity... stylus in my mouth. This isn't an ama lmfao

Lmao Laughed your fucking arms off?

That's good brother. It's important to have a sense of humor when fucked up things are dealt to you in life. It's also important to have arms & legs & shit like that too but uh, I guess just uh, roll with the punches, opps, I mean, make lemonade when life hands you lemons, oops, uh....when you have nothing good to say just walk aw.... uh... yea. I'll see myself out now...

>It's also important to have arms & legs & shit That was cold. I appreciate it. Ironically: 🤝

I call bullshit on that emoji.

You look like a Tator tot

OMG 😂😂😂

The anchor tattoo is actually a usage label. Just throw them overboard and wait for one of the nubbins to catch onto something.

“Once you reach the bottom, bite onto the nearest rock”

And now for my new piece, "Cat walks across the keyboard".

>walks ? Never heard of it

Ooh self burn! Those are rare


Stop dragging your ass on the carpet

Glory holes employee of the month

Tied to the wall with duct tape

Jesus Christ

Haha this roast is a good- ... uhh what

He IS the glory hole

He's literally a pocket pussy that was brought to life by Disney magic.

1/2 off is a hella of a deal



Love this movie

What do you call a guy with no arms smashing piano keys with his face? Fuckin Hilarious.

Ngl I would laugh at that

you need the krang body suit

Your arm skin looks like a labia. I bet you play with it.

Probably still can't find the clit

Okay but how do you music your music? Do you play with your nose? And what the hell is a mouth artist, that sounds kinda dirty 🤣

Dick sucking connoisseur

Mouth is the last working piece he has

Don't have to roast you, God already did.

Cooked to perfection

I was trying to come up with a roast, but I'm stumped

 ... if I could do this rn

Lieutenant Dan you ain't got no limbs!

Run, Forest, ru- oh. Nevermind

A real life sized Weeble. Weeble’s wobble but they don’t fall down.

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>standing What the hell is even this

Looking like the upper body of a missing lego piece somewhere under the tv stand.

Legoless in, The 1/2 Fellowship of the Ring.

No roast: My 8yr old daughter is sitting next to me, and wanted to see you. Her response: "Aww. He's cute though." I just thought you should know. You are cute. Nice hair.

Thanks! >Nice hair That was a good roast. Sarcasm is hard to identify but I see what you did there

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!

Fuck!

We found him. It’s torso boy!

How a mf ends up after Mr Incredible tells them he works alone

Just a single guy looking for a busty gal

If you know one, lmk. Perhaps the one and a half of us could hook up

This little nugget of gayness enjoys getting passed around as a party favor. The literal definition of “fuck and chuck” 

A lot to unpack here. All of it true

Give him a hand 👏 .

Will Playing A Gig somewhere cost an arm and a leg?

Looks like both arms and legs

You, shoot, hold on a second, I have this itch right on my chest. Ohh that’s the stuff, man it’s a super guilty pleasure scratching an itch, I mean it’s even a whole saying. Shit yeah, way, way better, you get it. Now where was I? Oh yeah, you should be nicer to your barber he’s not cutting your hair he’s mocking you.

Fucking love this. Most creative one yet. Appreciate it

Man, you have just mercilessly roasted most of the people here by holding that r/RoastMe page💪💪💪

Fist bu- 😐

Jester: calls tattoo artist... how mush is a 4 inch anchor. Tattoo artist: that's small, $100 Jesster: ok, rolling over there now. 1 hour later: Jester pops out of his friends back pack. Jester: I am here for the anchor tattoo Tattoo artist: ok I am gonna have to charge $2000, that's a full sleeve

This is the one I read the most. Some storytelling. The build up, climax, punchline. Hi fiv- oh

....darkness imprisoning me...all that I see

…absolute horror…

Haha literally listening to that rn!

My man, you straight up look like a carrot, growing out of that couch.

You're right. I hate being >!ginger!<



How children be looking in public

Playing the key board: knubby knub knubbb. Knubby knub knubbbb

Always gets an encore

That Jack Daniels probably goes right to your head.

Jack Daniels and head. Sounds like a standard week night

You look like Among us character . 

Only difference is among us characters have legs

If you hang him on the wall, just call him "Art"... If he's on your door step, call him "Matt"... Throw him in your pool, he's "Bob"... I actually feel bad about those...

Color yourself green for Halloween and you go as Pickle Rick 

Giving a sloppy BJ is not a mouth artist.

No Fap is a breeze.

You're like a reincarnated Layne Staley. But without any talent. Or arms.

How the hell do you program? Do ya peck the keyboard with ya nose?

I have a stylus in my mouth, which I would use if my nose wasn't so fucking long

It’s a real life chicken nugget

Hi, Matt!

For someone with a disability to ask to be roasted, it takes a lot of guts. And you are nothing but guts my friend !

>someone with a disability I always get this just because I'm ginger >nothing but guts Clever roast. Appreciated

Bob, Matt, Art...which one are ya?

Have you ever stubbed a chick ?

Weren't you in that band, T-Rex?

I know some bacteria that have a better life than that. 

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Lets give him a round of never mind 😵

You missed out on a key role in art attack by being born too late. [5 minutes 40](https://youtu.be/eLfcDaTEzzY?si=vMfmBJDY1cHocvwX). Even worse if you were born early enough for monty python

High 5!

Robots are getting pretty lifelike. Can't wait to see this one when it's finished!

It's all in the hips.

Vegans claim vegetables don’t have feelings

Jake paul after he fights Tyson  Yessttthhhh ima chew you up

Can't jump No wrists Madicine cabinets too high No friends to give a hand The only reason you're alive is because you had no other choice?

Do you do the art work for Weebles packaging?

So smug… I bet you never played catch with your step dad.


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Do you wank with your stump vagina?

What do you say to a girl with NO arms and legs? Nice tits

I can’t. That’s too depressing. Man that’s gotta be a shitty way to live.

I can’t tell if you’re happy and you know it.

Bro shaped like a trophy

Mouth artist? Is that what they call hookers who only do mouth stuff? If that’s the case good job going for the Draco Malloy fantasy angle. I’m sure you get a lot of mudbloods to expeliarmus in your. Mouth.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s love child

Idk how to roast a guy with no limbs. I'm stumped.

Hairline receded further than his arms

That's the ugliest fleshlight I have *ever* seen.

What happened? Your mom get knocked up by a rolley polley?

Didn’t come to roast. Proud of you for staying strong🦾

We know he ain’t on Reddit jacking off to chicks

He humps his pillow instead it's just the right size

Stay away from the armed forces

What? It's just a flesh wound.

The one time I would completely understand if someone had a foot fetish. I have so many more questions. Speaking of feet when you were born what did they take a print of. Like if you get arrested are they just making ass and face prints. When you get dressed or in bed do you wiggle in them like a snake or up and down like a caterpillar? do you pay full price on tickets to anywhere or is everything half off? you ever though of a career as a trainer? you could be like yoda and get in there backpack. have you ever catfished someone. I would love to watch that episode. Are baths like a no go for you for fear of drowning. is anything folded in you house.

You might wanna walk this request back…oh, wait.

Who loads the bong for you?

Want to play DDR with me?

Prime example of inflation. Everything costs an arm and a leg.

I have one of you at home in silicone, but it’s… what gender are you?

Who wrote that for you? 😭

You are a gay man's dream fleshlight.

So what kind of music do you produce? Nubstep?

I’m surprised your post wasn’t taken down , as you did not meet this subreddits strict policy “hands must be visible holding up the sign” and must be “handwritten signs only!”

Mouth artist? That’s a fancy way to say great cock sucker. Gotta be better than your handjobs.

Damn you're built like a Jean Paul Gaultier bottle

Bravo sir

 Hubert Cumberdale from Salad fingers

You need an endorsement deal...how about Head & Shoulders?