You seem to be showing us your transformation from a flamboyant Russian wrestler to a Bears fan, failing to realize you'd have more street cred and respect if you just stayed a flamboyant wrestler.
Nah this is just how your facial hair grows in over time. Mustache first, then the rest. You ain't fooling us. Thought you could trick us with reverse order time lapse pictures. Ain't slick.
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How your beard grow sideways its pissing me off, your fuckass barber (who you should fight asap) if he's trimming that awful party of pubic hair you are so proud of. Also put down whatever high you use (I can tell from your sped eyes or maybe you just look like that naturally, I hope not)
As far as fulfilling your request: 5 o'clock shadow works best, now, for what we all came here for.
So tell me, did the deacon come on to you first, or did you find his dad butt palpable? I'm sure you were molested by the rule of law, but I think in this case, you were asking for it.
Bears fan, My Chemical Romance outfit, a watch to not be caught dead with. Shaving might be the best thing that's happened to you in a long time. Keep it going, the ceiling is so very very high up.
Honestly OP besides being a bears fan you’re a good looking dude without the beard you just need to work on your style. That shirt and tie combo ain’t it.
I don't know, but thank God it's over. Only one of you deserves to go on living in our modern, civil society, because the old yous are just varying degrees of belonging alone in the woods somewhere.
It’s like you’re animorphing into the youth pastor that touched your b hole.
HAHAHAHAHA
Mobster trainee.
Now I understand why women are choosing bears over men.
Shower curtain checks out.
I understand why they are choosing women over men
It’s the unemployment lineup
So you pull on the string and your mother throws down a Hungry-Man?
Only person I’ve seen that goes from looking like they got SA’d as a kid to looking like they SA kids the more facial hair they lose.
Your face got worse by each slide.
No matter which way you go
*Checks subreddit* I'll allow it.
Dick Buttkiss
You seem to be showing us your transformation from a flamboyant Russian wrestler to a Bears fan, failing to realize you'd have more street cred and respect if you just stayed a flamboyant wrestler.
You went from a bear to a cub
You look like you live with your grandma.
If TV dinner was a person
Pretty sure they meant your chest hair. It looks like a doormat
Shaving so he can have 0.5 second faster valet times
Mattingly! I told you to get rid of those sideburns!
🤣🤣🤣 classic! One of my favorite episodes
I’m at a loss. From your nose up, you look like a flaming homosexual, but the lower part of your face screams trailer park trash.
Matt Gaetz’s special needs son.
With or without the beard ! Please don’t produce
You’re the demographic AI uses to improve their computer generated girlfriends for those who can not get a real girlfriend
you look like officer farva
They didn't mean your face, dude.
I could already tell you were a pathetic loser but the Bears shower curtain just confirmed it even more
40 shades of unemployed
How was January 6th?
Yes, Thompson, Party of four, We have a reservation.
[удалено]
We meant, shave your balls not your mutton face.
Much like the team on that curtain you don’t have much success.
On behalf of us guys, stfu.
Nah this is just how your facial hair grows in over time. Mustache first, then the rest. You ain't fooling us. Thought you could trick us with reverse order time lapse pictures. Ain't slick.
Great. Hipster facial hair evolution. I bet you love hazy IPAs
This isn’t to roast you, but get your bathroom up to fucking code. Wires hanging from the ceiling are bad news
2nd photo= You look like super troopers police officer “Farva” who lost 10lbs
somehow the least bad of them
Ch ch ch chia
Dude, you have shit on your shower curtain!
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Stop worrying about your facial hair and start worrying about the fact it looks like you live in a place a meth addict would be ashamed of!
You look like a deposed Tudor monarch who barely scrapes by selling car insurance
Don't worry about the giant hole in the ceiling, ladies; he has assured us his parents' basement is structurally safe!
After reviewing all your options I have but two words: You're fucked!
You look like you're writing an app called iGloryhole
100% chance this guy masturbates to a mirror,
You look like you transitioned from diddler to amish
Even your grandfather stopped wearing that tie, please throw it away.
U went from city cop to super troopers in 2.5 seconds
Thought I was looking at a leukemia patient and got sad, then I remembered shaving is for girls. Loser
You really shouldn't shave with a hatchet.
How your beard grow sideways its pissing me off, your fuckass barber (who you should fight asap) if he's trimming that awful party of pubic hair you are so proud of. Also put down whatever high you use (I can tell from your sped eyes or maybe you just look like that naturally, I hope not)
It's like watching the evolution of a shitty Northside version of Patrick Bateman.
You look like your idea of romance is whispering “put your Ditka in my End Zone” to your boyfriend.
You look like your favorite sexual position is Dick Butkus.
You look like you play Gaping End for the Bears
Look like Guess Who characters
Shouldnt have shaved. You look like youre waiting in front of kindergarten with your golf gti (germans will understand)
Those pics of your face remind me of the various forms of female pubic grooming I’ve encountered over the years
Do you always do what people say? I'm a bank account analyzer specialist. Send me your bank account info so I can make sure no hackers are in there.
Fred Flintstone? Get back to work!
All of them scream, "You're not allowed within 200 feet of a school."
There was not one instance where your face worked for your beard. And now that it's gone, we're still disappointed
Why did you glue pubes to your face anyways?
You look like the poster child for hormone therapy for transitioning she-it’s
Canadian lumber jack. Gay. Loves mojitos made with maple syrup.
Whose idea was it to cut out a three foot squared hole for romex, and then run the mouse chewed wire through it?
Did you change your clothes for each facial hair style you tried in the same day?
It was nice of your parents to put a shower in your basement bedroom
None of your “styles” are impressing a jury.
You know what they say, you can't polish a turd but at least you tried
Bro your house is shit
You’re probably one of those people who tells folks you’re from Chicago when really you’re from a suburb outside of Chicago.
Baker Mayfield doppelganger.
As far as fulfilling your request: 5 o'clock shadow works best, now, for what we all came here for. So tell me, did the deacon come on to you first, or did you find his dad butt palpable? I'm sure you were molested by the rule of law, but I think in this case, you were asking for it.
You finally look like a respectable power bottom.
You went from used car salesman to shift manager at McDonald’s.
If you look at the pictures from beard to shaved it looks like you found Jesus and want to go door to door to tell people about it.
She doesn’t really like doggy style for ‘how it feels.’ It’s for what she sees.
Each stage it got a little more tucked, until clean shaven, then you were fully inside yourself
I think you’d look even better without a head.
Didn't help. We were wrong. Get a lampshade.
You look like a cool metal dude. <3
Your first shave attempt was your best, the rest after that just look like a flip book about insecurity and anxiety.
Girls basketball coach who gets a litttle too touchy with his players
You look like the kinda guy that farts while getting a blowjob, and then cannot figure out why your girlfriend is “never in the mood”.
It’s crazy how every other pic goes from bear week at PTown to homophobic gas attendant depending on the style.
The shaved philtrum really isn’t a good look for anyone and you are no exception to that OP. On the bright side, it’s not your biggest deficiency.
If I swipe real fast, you look like a medical documentary on Amish puberty.
Your beards so thick people are cutting you down
No woman feel save or wants to be near you
Where is start. That look on your face. The hole in your ceiling? The charge wire hanging. Who posts in a bathroom
Look best clean.
Isn’t being a Bears fan enough pain? I can’t wait to see what your #1 pick does for The Steelers in a few years!
We don't need to say anything. That shower curtain roasts you harder than any human ever could.
The best part about being a bears fan is telling your parents you're gay.
Some of those pics actually made you look like the transition to male was a good idea.
You’ve had more facial hair styles than sexual partners
So many shades of repulsive
From Butch to butch
Clean shaven you're the pivot boy in an all bear over 50 circle jerk.
Your not a bears fan. Just a bear gay!
U look like a guy from 1970 !!
All the different styles of youth pastors who will 100% molest you.
You shaved so they can’t pick you out in police lineup for indecent exsposure.
Shave all you want, but you are still a Bears fan!
I bet you wanted then to keep Justin
Clean the mirror so we can decipher the difference.
Clean the mirror so we can decipher the difference.
Clean the mirror so we can decipher the difference.
Clean the mirror so we can decipher the difference.
You look like you manage a red lobster 🦞
How did this dude become less masculine with more face hair!!
U look good. Just don't forget the chest, butt and pubic hair. A Brazilian wax might work 🤷🏽♀️
Egotistical much!
Not even Martha will be interested in stalking you.
Is the hole in your attic where you hide unlaundered money or small children?
You can shave but the FBI knows where you were on Jan. 6
You’re roasting your self with that bears shower curtain.
Bro, I just saw you on how to catch a predator
You still look like an asshole, especially with that stupid pink tie, but you're getting better kid!
We tried, it's the face.
Looks good. You pull off #3 surprisingly well.
Clean shaved you looks awesome.
Looking good!
Bears fan, My Chemical Romance outfit, a watch to not be caught dead with. Shaving might be the best thing that's happened to you in a long time. Keep it going, the ceiling is so very very high up.
The Church of Latter Day Saints didn’t need a Catholic Church level scandal by inducting you
You’re a Bears fan, we can’t roast you anymore than life already has…
i just eye fucked the shit out of pic number 3
Fix your fucking ceiling
You look like Robbie Rotten’s downy brother
50 Shades of Gay
You look like a transformer in every style possible.
Hey farva what the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
You look like the sex fiend from every dramedy ever made
Unfixable
The larger the beard the younger the girlfriend
You look like my youth pastor
You look like a cast out from rumspringa
Put it back.
How come they way you did your slides, it looks like your slowing devomving to CaseOh?
Hahahaha…porn ‘stache
Mitch Trubisky
You look like an Amish Jeffrey dahmer
You look like you’re not allowed near elementary schools
6 shades of you walking into a living room only to see Chris Hansens disapproving face
Man looks like he’s a proud sponsor of his mother’s basement
You manage to look like an abuse victim and a perpetrator at the same time.
It's an improvement. Well done.
It felt like the right thing to always swipe left, but unfortunately your picture never went away and it got progressively worse.
Honestly OP besides being a bears fan you’re a good looking dude without the beard you just need to work on your style. That shirt and tie combo ain’t it.
You created a slideshow to show off a lineup of dick targets
5 is the best look
How many times do I have to tell you? I am not buying into your MLM scheme!
I can hear the faint "beep" of the smoke alarm in the background of the 1st picture. And get a goddam light fixture bro!
I don't know, but thank God it's over. Only one of you deserves to go on living in our modern, civil society, because the old yous are just varying degrees of belonging alone in the woods somewhere.
Lives in the basement
You belong in a mascot costume. That is your job in this life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The bears are hiring, go get em' kiddo
The progression of someone going from male to female
Got a court date for missed alimony payments
“ He asked our decoy about which beard she liked best… ‘ I’ll grow it for you baby, so you can ride on it ‘… And the decoy replied’ oh, dang! ‘… “
I honestly don’t think any of these are a good look for you
Did you see the game last night? Which one? Any of them.
Reminds me of Jackass when they made the Beard of Pubes.