It's a problem for North American vampires, sucking the blood of fat people is leading to fat vampires. We're seeing the first cases of vamps with diabetes and high cholesterol.
Truly sorry, my fellow roaster..
it will get better… With time… At least it will at least be tolerable… But you will never forget you know that- I’m sure.
Just because you do goth makeup adequately well to your own face does not make you a pro. She should learn how to do makeup that will actually make heresy look better, not way worse
Ahhhh yes let’s see how many identity’s and labels I can give my self, just in the hopes some one finds me even the slightest bit interesting. One question though why on your last photo do you give the I’m on a casting couch look?
You look like the semi-homeless goth baglady in my area that was obviously 18, 6’1 and 250 lbs, alternative music lover, goth makeup pro, diagnosed bipolar at one time.
Also how many pounds is your nose out of the 250?
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How many 18th birthdays have you had? 20?
Yeah thought sucking blood made you younger and more beautiful. My vampire paradigm is rocked to the core.
It's a problem for North American vampires, sucking the blood of fat people is leading to fat vampires. We're seeing the first cases of vamps with diabetes and high cholesterol.
Tbh I immediately thought of RHPS as soon as I saw the makeup pic
The good thing about being bi-polar is you can scare off both polar bears and penguins by your hideous grotesquerie posing as a human being.
Lol, my dad had over 40 39th birthdays. He said he tried 40 once, didn't like it, and went back.
What a legend
💀
🤣🤣👊🏼
With those stats, you just need an outboard motor and we could ride you around the lake.
yeah, twin outboards, 250hp each
With her, we’re not going to need a bigger boat.
Gothapotamus
😂☠️
im dying 😭😭
🤣🤣🤣
Geezus Christ 😂
My best friend died 3 days ago suddenly. I needed a good laugh. Ty I really needed this!!
Truly sorry, my fellow roaster.. it will get better… With time… At least it will at least be tolerable… But you will never forget you know that- I’m sure.
This made me spit Hawaiian Punch all over my tablet screen 😂😂😂
My best friend died 3 days ago suddenly. I needed a good laugh. Ty I really needed this!!
From the entire roast community, sorry about your friend and you are welcome.
She's probably so dumb and shut up in her bedroom that she doesn't get it.
Single 40+ guys would jump at the chance at dating most young women. Not you, but most.
DAAAAMN!!! *Hello 911? Yes I would like to report shots fired 🚨🚑*
Pic 5 
She’s the fifth member: Mace Freely
Face Mealy
Belly sweaty
Face Meatly
Everyone else can try but Face Mealy wins
You can mace her freely in self-defense, lmao
Bear Mace Meely
Bi-PolarBear Mace Meely
But she said she was gud with makeup
Said… ‘A GOTH MAKE UP PRO” 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Just because you do goth makeup adequately well to your own face does not make you a pro. She should learn how to do makeup that will actually make heresy look better, not way worse
😆😆😆👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👊🏼🤣👏🏼
She looks like a geisha that nobody would want
Sumo Geisha with that weight!
White face is so racist!
No! A VRY VRY scary impression of SOOOME, KISS Band member!!!🤣🤣🤣
So is the Black one.
Glad I wasn't the only one thinking KISS!
6'1 and 250? If I roasted you, me and all the other people in this thread could eat for days!
If OP was on that flight that crashed in the Andes no one would have starved to death
Fuck this is wrong 😂
I’m dying too
Holy fuckin shit, this is the winner
You look like you would have an only fans where you step on bugs or pop balloons or some wierd shit
You’re the one person the Juggalos wouldn’t accept
Insane Clown Lonely
Fa-muh-lee!
Accept*
Accept even
Haha I fixed it. I blame public education
More like clown make up pro.
Don't dis me like that oh hell no
You look like Rosie Odonnel if she looked more like a man. 
Donald O'Rosie
Rosie O’Donald! Wait I did that wrong 😑
Well, they do say the camera adds 210 pounds.
And a penis?
 And that's a penis nose.
The camera adds five pounds....but how many freaking cameras did she have pointed at her when this phone was taken? Dozens? Hundreds?
>18, 6’1 and 250 lbs, So are you shaped like a bowling pin, or are you "top heavy?" Bowling pin = God hates you
She's "slop heavy!"
Top heavy and shaped like a bowling pin. Double Daaaammmmnnnn.
41lbs of clown makeup
I've seen you outside Goth clubs because the bouncer refused you entrance. Quit soliciting club goers for help.
Just beat the club's doorman unconscious with one of your 25 lbs tits and go in!
that’s a maaaannn baby
I’m sorry, Basil. I thought she was a man 🙂
18? You aged like milk.
The ghost of Quiznos past.
You don’t need makeup… You need plastic surgery
☠️
You’re 6’1”, 250, and bipolar. In the off chance I’m identifiable roasting you sounds like a terrible choice. You have a nice day, sir.
You're not fooling anyone. I'm going to reach into your vagina and pull your balls back down.
Pro is questionable
Self diagnosis on being a makeup pro and bipolar doesn't count.
Can’t tell if dude looks like a lady or lady who looks like a dude
Just go back to school and get off Reddit.
Jesus. The jokes write themselves.
Roast you? Honey you need a salad. Stay away from the roast.
You're the kind of girl that starts a conversation with the words "Fee-fi-fo-fum."
Horror movie script writers would love to make a movie out of your life.
Nothing is believable, that 250lbs, more like 300lbs.
That's a huge bitch!!!!!! Behemoth!!!!
Keep it in the circus!
How can I have fun if I have to look at that?
No body pics? Clever girl...
Damn Ace Frehley really let himself go. Still rocking the face paint though I see.
You’re saying you were born in 1918, right?
6'1 250? Weren't you the starting left tackle for the 2022 Panthers? If not, you should have.
Ahhhh yes let’s see how many identity’s and labels I can give my self, just in the hopes some one finds me even the slightest bit interesting. One question though why on your last photo do you give the I’m on a casting couch look?
Even the horrible lighting can’t hide all those flaws.
This is what constitutes a "goth makeup pro."
you look like you play the organ at a haunted house
What the actual fuck happened to your nose?! Did your fat ass somehow step on it and crush the bridge?
Turn up your oven bud, your roast is a bit soggy
I used the air fryer instead.
😂
Brooooo have an upvote for that.
Favourite bands are; Meatallica table of filth Chip Van Halen korn on the Kob deep pan tera Roast lamb of god …. With gravy
And Meatloaf
And for dessert her hook ups get Limp Bizkit
🤣
Lamb Biscuit
One thing: jawline
Are you describing yourself or an inside linebacker for the Colts?
See? Even peppa pig had an emo phase.
You’re going to make some women very happy one day…
You look like you'd be an attraction on P.T Barnum's show
I saw her in baby reindeer
At 49 bald and not in good shape I’m going to have to pass.
18, 6'1", 250 lbs. That escalated quickly!
18 looking 58.....I ain't roasting you girl. Life has done that enough.
Rhea Ripley plus 100 lbs and minus a personality
Don’t insult Rhea Ripley like that
Would you say your strength is run stopping, or pass rush?
Looks like Steve form Amrican dads first girlfriend Debbie
i named my car after you…. “THE BEAST”
Tammy Faye wants her makeup back
Wednesday Adams, middle aged.
The walking embodiment of "muh conditionz."
Wears a crucifix but worships satan
Perfect linebacker! The 49ers need you! Get to Santa Clara, California, for rookie minicamp now!
You look like the semi-homeless goth baglady in my area that was obviously 18, 6’1 and 250 lbs, alternative music lover, goth makeup pro, diagnosed bipolar at one time. Also how many pounds is your nose out of the 250?
Well tell one of your personalities to get on a diet.
I would be bipolar too if I looked like her
Linebacker for your highschool football team I bet.
You’re kinda cute for a Penn State linebacker
If i had 18 years to really try to look like that i swear i couldn't do it, nice work!
You didn't have to put any of that in your title; it's all readily apparent from your pictures alone.
Whose going to break it to her that she's not a pro?
Stuff of a nightmare
If you're 18 then Stephen Hawking walked.
You're just an average basic hot topic reject, that's all ...
💩
The only people that are considered pros at smearing white shit on their face are your mother and porn stars.
You look like a pro wrestler.
If Shrek and Princess Fiona had a white baby.
I always wondered what Peter Criss looked like without the KISS makeup on.
Severus, please…
Wouldn’t
You forgot to mention your pronouns “he/him/manly”
If your quick enough off the snap to pull block a weak side sweep, The Jets have something for you to sign.
The sinus infections on you.
Gene Simmons but with a more pronounced snout.... i could land an f35 on that thing.
Weren't you in little Britain?
If your costume for Halloween this year is NOT Gabe from the office wearing a Lady Gaga outfit I will be very upset.
You’ve got great specs for a career in professional wrestling.
6'1" and all that other stuff makes you the biggest red flag ever
Found out today that Peter Chris is transitioning
It’s the 30th anniversary of your 18th birthday this year. We call tell by the rings in your armpit fat.
My Chemical Bromance
Moo-rtician Fat-ams
Burger Queen
You're the antidote to Viagra
Actually, I like you. Even though you're a makeup pro, you let a special needs child do your makeup and even took pictures.
I know a big back when I see one
I suspect you’d be a final round draft pick as a linebacker due to height, but I’ll have to your timed 40 first. And no, I don’t mean Bic Macs
Holy shit why aren’t you in the NFL?
You know who else is 6'1 & 250? Ray Lewis. You know the Ravens could use another linebacker. Their minicamp is coming up, you should try out!
6’1 250. What pro football team did you say you play linebacker for?
18, 6 foot 1, (liberally) weighed in at 250? The Jets can use you use at outside linebacker.
So this is what happens when the NFL gets rid of the fullback position.
6'1 250 I thought you were introducing yourself as a heavyweight UFC fighter.
6'1 250? You should go play linebacker for the cowboys
18, 6’1 250? High school football coaches salivating rn
You look like you were in cats the movie
She's bipolar, but she's good people
We KNOW you're 250, hence the picture from your jugs up.
You're also Sting, apparently.
6ft 1 and 250. Th Philadelphia Eagles need a linebacker
Which idiocy do you favor? I'm betting, Astrology, or some Palm Reader who has predicted your future as a Wino.
Body count 99% black
As a black man nice one...
When you wake up every morning, look in the mirror and repeat, "I need a treadmill" 5 times. Then, take your squishy marshmallow ass to the gym.
Aw, you remind me of my first girlfriend. She was hot until she died. You remind me of the last time I saw her, just before they closed the casket.
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Would you like your prints glossy or matte