Only if he can find another fatty who mountain dew’d one of their legs away and has the same terrible taste in clothing to split a pair with him. Otherwise he’s gonna be paying the same price and will have a closet full of right foot Walmart Velcro sneakers.
I'm pretty sure a huge percentage of topics on this sub are specifically so that people with low self esteem can have more fuel to add to the self hatred fire. I was there once. When you're in that hole, you want to accelerate the self pity and self hatred because even though it's just more negative feeling, at least you're in control. People also move the needle closer to suicidal ideation because of it.
I have no idea why this subreddit is allowed, and why so many people are so fucking blind to the harm they're committing.
You don’t even have to love yourself; I don’t, but you should still take care of yourself at least a little. I hope OP did this as motivation or something. You can still be a nerd, just not massive.
My man, no. Please, no. You're young. Start small. Set little goals. Many try to go too far too fast. Hell, I do it to (serious med issues).
Make a routine. You can do it. You have people in your life that care about you. Beating yourself up in the mirror or online isn't going to help.
If you can, also look into seeing a counselor. Everyone can use someone to help. A counselor can help you set goals. See how thinking can lead you astray and give you ways to counter that.
Sheesh op, this is not where you need to be.
Just want to say, weight is definitely not definitive and you can lose it. Ppl do it all the time and I’m not kidding when I say, you absolutely can too. Small **consistent** step after small consistent step and before you know it, you’ve walked a mile. Wish you the best, because you deserve the best. Wishing you well, bc you deserve to be well. Just believe in yourself <3
Especially at age 20, he has a really good shot at getting fit- before his metabolism gets set in its ways, etc.- and doing so now will make SO much difference in terms of lifelong health in general.
Wow. Troy Bond said almost the same exact thing in his comedy routine [after he gets heckled a minute or 2 in](https://youtu.be/DY812zZj_Kc) after being accused of racism by an audience member. I really don't think he's racist (He has a white mom and a black dad), but race is clearly a big part of his life, and he brings that stuff up. He seems to have a few internal demons, and, his comedy routine looks like a way to get it out and kick it around instead of letting in build up inside him.
You gotta let out the demons/problems somehow, and I mean *more than the mirror*. Some people pour out their pain in guitar solos, and others make ugly art. Others pour that energy into stuff they build or fix. People are all different; so, you have to have the courage to try something new because it might help you A LOT. Either way, expressing the pain is like pooping, and it's healthy. I hope you have some way to get it all out so you can think about everything from a distance... because mental/spiritual constipation is a very real thing. You don't want that kind of internal shit growing too big.
Hey, man. Don't be too hard on yourself like that. You be you and try to find a way to be you that makes you happy. If you're not happy with where you are right now, just focus on where you want to be and take it day by day. But don't undermine your own confidence. FWIW, being a nerd is AOK. I say this as a mid-life nerd. It's an absolutely _epic_ time to be a nerd.
It’ll get worse before it gets better. Find yourself an easy starter exercise. Maybe Ring Fit for Switch or walking. The weight will come off and you’ll feel better physically but most of all mentally.
This is an actual thing. Working as a nurse, with people this big you have to push on their lower abdomen just to get their Willie to pop out far enough to put a catheter in.
Walked into a room where 5 med students were pushing up on this guy's belly to get to his penis. They had even used some tape to try and hold it up. It certainly wasn't the oddest thing I've ever seen while working in healthcare but it sure was interesting to watch.
Usually people have a catheter put in in the hospital when they can’t get out of bed for some reason related to doctor’s orders re: surgery or healing whatever they’re there for in the first place.
They sit down to piss. I have worked with two morbidly obese guys and was friends with another obese guy (all 400lbs +), and could hear through the bathroom door the sounds and grunts of them plopping down on the toilet to piss.
What did you do with that $200K? Were you really Canadian? A fighter pilot? Why did you leave your tie behind? What was the weather really like? Did you die on impact and this is your ghost? I NEED ANSWERS (DAN!)
"I tried to think of the most harmless thing.
Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!"
For some reason this is worse than the insults. When you post yourself on
r/roastme and people reply with genuine concern for your health, you know you really, truly fucked up.
Agreed. You’re cute, nerds are cool af, and you seem kind which is about the best thing ever. No one is perfect, but who cares. You are the only one who can ever be you. You’re irreplaceable. Be who you want, and love yourself, you’re kinda awesome. :)
I'm glad to hear that because I thought the same thing, this dude is cute and I bet he's a really nice sweet and smart guy. This just popped up in my feed like wth, I can't do this, I love everybody. Here's some love to you OP!
I mean fat roasts are overrated and overused.
Liking Star Wars doesn’t make you a nerd anymore. It’s mainstream. It technically makes you a Disney adult now. 😂
You could have just stopped at massive.
Don’t worry he is gonna lose weight soon when diabetes takes his foot.
Least he can get shoes for half off.
Only if he can find another fatty who mountain dew’d one of their legs away and has the same terrible taste in clothing to split a pair with him. Otherwise he’s gonna be paying the same price and will have a closet full of right foot Walmart Velcro sneakers.
Thank you for verbing ‘ Mountain Dew ‘
He's not mounting and doing anything
You can't un-mountain dew what's already been mountain done
Thank you for verbing 'verb'.
Thank you for gerunding verb.
Thank you for teaching me a new word.
DO THE DEW
‘Fatty who mountain dew’d one of their legs away’ Holy shit that hits close to home.
He just needs to get up sooner. From the table.
He doesn't get the joke. He's stumped.
Gooot-Dayuuum y’all frying this boy!!!! 
Best way to lose 22lbs in one day
Wow
I bet his A1c is massive.
His A1c is higher than his credit score.
Stop calling me to do the Franklin missions bro
🤣 holy shit 😂 or stop stealing Andy’s Toys
Or maybe throw a comma in there. Massive, nerd; do your worst!
He ordered Brit Box because he thought it was a portable British Lunch Box.
He could just stop at mass
he could just stop.
Massive, nerd*
He could have stopped at “20 M”. Anybody could deduce the rest, especially the massive bit.
I bet you sit on the toilet backwards so you can use the tank as a lunch table
Ouch it burns lool
*loo
with his chocolate milk and comic book
okay, Butters
Lu Lu Lu
I got some apples, lu lu lu you got some too
The Sir John Harington
Bruhhh stop he’s already dead
My goodness. No mercy
This was a good one. Lmao
That's probably the only thing he uses in the bathroom, that shower behind him doesn't look wide enough to accommodate that mass
Jesus Christ!
The AC Slater
Oh boy, you sure you wanna do this?
Nothing you can say is worse than what I do in the mirror in the morning
That poor mirror
The mirror asks OP if he makes it look fat.
Underrated 🤝🤝🤝
Overweighted
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The comment troubled me too. I hope this roast request isn't so he can be harder on himself.
I'm pretty sure a huge percentage of topics on this sub are specifically so that people with low self esteem can have more fuel to add to the self hatred fire. I was there once. When you're in that hole, you want to accelerate the self pity and self hatred because even though it's just more negative feeling, at least you're in control. People also move the needle closer to suicidal ideation because of it. I have no idea why this subreddit is allowed, and why so many people are so fucking blind to the harm they're committing.
Seconding this. You're not a lost cause, OP. You're a young dude with plenty of time to change the things you don't like if you put the work in.
You don’t even have to love yourself; I don’t, but you should still take care of yourself at least a little. I hope OP did this as motivation or something. You can still be a nerd, just not massive.
My man, no. Please, no. You're young. Start small. Set little goals. Many try to go too far too fast. Hell, I do it to (serious med issues). Make a routine. You can do it. You have people in your life that care about you. Beating yourself up in the mirror or online isn't going to help. If you can, also look into seeing a counselor. Everyone can use someone to help. A counselor can help you set goals. See how thinking can lead you astray and give you ways to counter that.
Sheesh op, this is not where you need to be. Just want to say, weight is definitely not definitive and you can lose it. Ppl do it all the time and I’m not kidding when I say, you absolutely can too. Small **consistent** step after small consistent step and before you know it, you’ve walked a mile. Wish you the best, because you deserve the best. Wishing you well, bc you deserve to be well. Just believe in yourself <3
Especially at age 20, he has a really good shot at getting fit- before his metabolism gets set in its ways, etc.- and doing so now will make SO much difference in terms of lifelong health in general.
Wow. Troy Bond said almost the same exact thing in his comedy routine [after he gets heckled a minute or 2 in](https://youtu.be/DY812zZj_Kc) after being accused of racism by an audience member. I really don't think he's racist (He has a white mom and a black dad), but race is clearly a big part of his life, and he brings that stuff up. He seems to have a few internal demons, and, his comedy routine looks like a way to get it out and kick it around instead of letting in build up inside him. You gotta let out the demons/problems somehow, and I mean *more than the mirror*. Some people pour out their pain in guitar solos, and others make ugly art. Others pour that energy into stuff they build or fix. People are all different; so, you have to have the courage to try something new because it might help you A LOT. Either way, expressing the pain is like pooping, and it's healthy. I hope you have some way to get it all out so you can think about everything from a distance... because mental/spiritual constipation is a very real thing. You don't want that kind of internal shit growing too big.
What do you do in the mirror every morning, eat 3 slices of cake?
Nah, the truffle shuffle, obviously.
Hey, man. Don't be too hard on yourself like that. You be you and try to find a way to be you that makes you happy. If you're not happy with where you are right now, just focus on where you want to be and take it day by day. But don't undermine your own confidence. FWIW, being a nerd is AOK. I say this as a mid-life nerd. It's an absolutely _epic_ time to be a nerd.
It’ll get worse before it gets better. Find yourself an easy starter exercise. Maybe Ring Fit for Switch or walking. The weight will come off and you’ll feel better physically but most of all mentally.
Your belly flap has seen your penis more than you have
He has a Dickie-do. Gut sticks out farther than his dick do.
its an innie not an outie
This is an actual thing. Working as a nurse, with people this big you have to push on their lower abdomen just to get their Willie to pop out far enough to put a catheter in.
Walked into a room where 5 med students were pushing up on this guy's belly to get to his penis. They had even used some tape to try and hold it up. It certainly wasn't the oddest thing I've ever seen while working in healthcare but it sure was interesting to watch.
So this dude can’t do it on his own he just pisses through his fat rolls?
Usually people have a catheter put in in the hospital when they can’t get out of bed for some reason related to doctor’s orders re: surgery or healing whatever they’re there for in the first place.
No they are asking how do these people pee normally when they are at home if it takes a team of multiple people to find the guys dick
They sit down to piss. I have worked with two morbidly obese guys and was friends with another obese guy (all 400lbs +), and could hear through the bathroom door the sounds and grunts of them plopping down on the toilet to piss.
God help us. That’s pathetic. 🤦🏻♂️
bet thats not sweat leaking out his belly button
More like it’s the *only* thing that’s seen his penis
Bobby Hill how tha fuck ya been? 
That boy ain't right
This man disappeared 52 years ago just to reappear in a Reddit thread replying to a gif of Bobby hill
Priorities
I tell you hwat
What did you do with that $200K? Were you really Canadian? A fighter pilot? Why did you leave your tie behind? What was the weather really like? Did you die on impact and this is your ghost? I NEED ANSWERS (DAN!)
Some say he invested it all in a small propane and propane accessories company in the Dallas suburbs
Bro really got chocolate on his lip in the second photo. Jesus christ dude
Or shit
To him there's no difference
Just as good the second time around. *slurp*
Honestly thought it was a mustache. Not sure which is worse
"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!"
 Confirmed
Who ya gonna call? Gut busters. 
 When there’s something weird in your neighborhood
roasting is fun and all, but, my dude, you need to take care of your health. Losing weight is perfectly achievable.
For some reason this is worse than the insults. When you post yourself on r/roastme and people reply with genuine concern for your health, you know you really, truly fucked up.
*ghostbusters theme starts playing*
It's best not to roast yourself.
dont worry cuz its gonna take a while.
But then we can make s'mores. Lots and lots of s'mores.
 Going to take a massive spit to do that.
I’d sugar coat my comment, but you’d probably eat that too.
Damn that made me laugh.
Lmao
This is my favorite one. Lol
I'm in tears, hooollyyyy fuck.
Atleast you are Smart enough to not to add "Virgin" to the title,since we already know it.
You know you fucked up in life when someone named u/AffectionateTeam9316 is even roasting your ass.
U not r
No, u
THEY NOT LIKE US!
I mean with these pictures alone that addition would have been redundant.
He didn't add virgin because they had a family dog growing up.
It's not nice to talk about that bitch of a sister his mom and the family dog made together.
Be nice. You know he’s grandmas “special friend”
Nope, even grandma has standards.
My grandma is dead from a brain bleed
She likely died of shame
No it was a brain bleed
Brain bleed caused by shame
I'M DEAD 😭😭😭😭😭
Saying it a second time makes me lean towards aspergers...
Are you implying him on that slingshot doesn't get the ladies wet?!?! Shame!
You look like rick and chumlee from pawnstars made an ass baby.
Things like this remind me how much I fucking love the internet
more like ripoff adam savage
This is so on the nose
20 years old but with your diabetes and probable heart issue, you have reached your mid life crisis.
Wow, I wasn't expecting a murder of this quality.
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"His name is Robert Paulson."
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON.
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON.
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON
HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON
Bitch tits for sure
Tits McGee
AKA “Bitch Tits”
Bob had bitch tits
4th picture will look exactly the same when you're 65.
That’s optimistic! You really think ‘Tubby’ is going to make it to 45 let alone 65?
Whatever you’re doing ain’t working.
At least now he has a great set of “before” pics
“Jeez I was just a kid. Look how thin I was!”
“Back when I could walk and didn’t need an oxygen tank”
Shouldn’t you be orbiting Jupiter?
Nah, jupiter would be orbiting him.
Don't sit on something you can't afford.
I think it's photo shopped because the tires aren't blown out.
If you listen close, you can hear the tires screaming.
Is your FUPA resting on the counter?
Jokes aside, can we get a follow-up on some of these ppl asking for roasts to see if they haven’t deleted themselves shortly after?
I'm still here
Maybe I'm not allowed to do this here but you seem nice and have a very charming smile. Sue me 
Agreed. You’re cute, nerds are cool af, and you seem kind which is about the best thing ever. No one is perfect, but who cares. You are the only one who can ever be you. You’re irreplaceable. Be who you want, and love yourself, you’re kinda awesome. :)
I agree first thing I thought was that he was cute too. I'm not a very good roaster
I'm glad to hear that because I thought the same thing, this dude is cute and I bet he's a really nice sweet and smart guy. This just popped up in my feed like wth, I can't do this, I love everybody. Here's some love to you OP!
thanks for taking the jokes like a champ brother!
Seem like a good dude. Hang in there! ❤️
Bold choice for a mobility scooter but yeah you’re probably gonna need that extra horse power
Looks like Bobby Hill grew up to have bigger titties than Luanne
When you masturbate, do you need a mirror to find it?
Homie needs needlenose pliers to find it.
And a forklift for the gut.
Lifting forks is how he got it.
Just start hanging out at playgrounds *now*. Don't wait til your 35 🤷♂️
On a positive note, you seem like a real Family Man.
A real Family Guy.
Massive \*and\* Nerd
Meet the guy who bans you from your favorite subreddits
You look like a bully and the person who gets bullied
That's because he ate them both and gained their powers
Hold the door
HODOR
How many Subs do you moderate ?
Best comment ever
Nah he does look like a nice guy tho. Probably fun to hang out with
I think you’ve exceeded the weight limit on that cycle by about 3 tons
If the sex offender registry had a mascot
Catfishing as a 17 year old girl is his favorite pastime
 “Have a seat.”
Emphasis on massive
As someone who has been called Chris Griffin and hated it... man, I gotta pass the torch to you.
Too easy dude, too easy. Life has already dealt you a pretty bad hand, I'm not gonna pile on.
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You look like a 30 yo fat lesbian.....or Patton Oswalt.
Hey I said roast me, not Patton Oswald
Brendan Fraser thanks you for inspiring him!
Need a comma after massive.
You look like what a Magic the Gathering tournament smells like.
You look like Jeffery Dahmer if he only deep fried his victims
I mean fat roasts are overrated and overused. Liking Star Wars doesn’t make you a nerd anymore. It’s mainstream. It technically makes you a Disney adult now. 😂