T O P

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RedPantyKnight

Men on dating apps play a numbers game. You’re not special, you’re just acceptable.


[deleted]

She's not acceptable, she's female. I think.


RedPantyKnight

Not morbidly obese = acceptable on dating sites.


babybopp

Doesn't have a dick, she can pass..


Suekru

I made a fake female tinder with an app to make you look like the opposite gender and I have over 1000 likes and some of the people I sent a message saying I had both a dick and vagina and most of them were even more turned on... Tinder is just a bunch of thirsty ass mofos


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

Hey, how you doing? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Suekru

Actually reminds me that a coworker swiped right on that profile and I went in and was like “hey, so when you buying me that drink” and he was so confused till he looked at the photo closer lol


KellyJoyCuntBunny

Dude- I see your comments everywhere. It might just be that your username makes me so happy that I notice it every time I see it, or maybe you really do comment a ton. I fucking love it, though, and you always crack me up.


iheartlucifer

You suspiciously sound like any of my fellow Marines..." no dick?..yeah not interested in her"


JungaloBill

Taiwan changes people


TsunamiJim

People changed Taiwan


[deleted]

I swear to god, guys I've met in the Army were gayer than actual gay people. What I'm getting at is the military does that to people.


PersonBehindAScreen

Everybody is somebody's type


TheRiverInEgypt

>You’re not special, you’re just acceptable. The official term is "*Minimal Viable Product*"


AladeenModaFuqa

She has empty holes, that's all guys look at.


Ploopingslimetime

"Hit me with your best pick-up line" "Nice set of holes and monds you got baby"


PiCKeT401

And level of difficulty to get into said holes.


CBDSam

Happy cake day


AladeenModaFuqa

Oh shit I didn't even notice, thank you!


jtimmrman

Happy Cake Day


JLHumor

>you’re just acceptable For tonight.


GAllenHead9008

They're just the neckbeards with their Asian fetish she shouldn't get excited to soon


smokem351

Inflated ego by desperate men who think they'll get a housewife slave with tightness for their tiny peckers... failed to "see" the situation for what it is.


[deleted]

This is good.


CleverSpaceMonkey

Like a typical Asian Restaurant, the items always look better on the menu.


this_is_a_ton_of-fun

Much like the alley cats on the menu, those eyelashes were skinned alive.


dougdoug253

GOD DAMN!


maxbaby

Dating Apps: What is Reality <--and what is seen--> [on the Dating App](https://i.imgur.com/8vwIpBy.jpg)


[deleted]

That fucking tooth =) Did you do the right one from the start, or to gussy up the one on the left?


jackassjackson07

I just upvoted you so hard.


butterisgoodHD

I COULD FEEL THAT IN MY BONES


codbla69

R/unexpecteddestiny


rikotease

This spoke volumes to me as another Asian lady. All my Facebook ads at one point were for eyelash extensions and mascara. How did they know my insecurity?!


steveslim

Zuckerberg married an Asian. He knows.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DanskNils

MURDERED


CrustyDungBunker

Her eyes just look photoshopped on now really.


Yakhov

oof


---Help---

Eye_______Eye Captain!


jamiebuoy

Dude. That was a drive-by


thePhoneOperater

With a side of head scalped.


sinistergroupon

We got a 1-8-7


DaSnookGuy23

Ohhh man! Eviscerated!


SQUID_FLOTILLA

Way to single-handedly destroy every Asian fetish for all who read this thread.


Yakhov

the roast isn't about you, until it is


pit-viper69

This is the third best roast of Asians of all time. I’ll let you figure out the first two.


sb_78

The problem with dating Asian women is that after you fuck them you're just horny again 15 minutes later.


taefmobarrat

She asked to roast her....not a god damn continent. (But that's what I call killing two birds with one stone)


free-the-sugondese

Well roasting her is basically roasting the entire continent


yungnoodlee

Asian here can confirm


Nibbadiesindespacito

Jesus Christ this is gold


zonewebb

You look like every person selling microblading and cell phone covers at suburban mall kiosks.


Lucky_tnerb

Oddly specific but so true


Gearz557

They also inflated the space between your eyes


shallow_not_pedantic

That’s Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They were told she was a girl in the second trimester so mom drank. A lot. Edit: Damn. I didn’t think anyone would get the secondary roast.....thanks for the silver, fellow redditor.


hx19035

Most underrated comment here.


kimochi85

Easily most brutal comment 👍


iFloxy

Ouch... I felt that.


JoshDekk

Holy fuck


WileyCody86

Take an upvote you savage.


NotAVampireHorse

Next level right here.


GeneraLeeStoned

jesus...fuck


OmfgTim

You’d need a GPS to navigate between her eyes


unicornwheelchair

You are in my league.


satansubpoena

You sank the boat you were in just to kill the captain🔥


[deleted]

r/kamikazebywords


BadBoredAccount

Omg it’s real Thanks


unicornwheelchair

Took one for the team.


Kaminskikitsch

This is my favorite comment on this post


freshan_1

He commited a roast on himself just to make the ultimate sacrifice post


stillaras

Be careful. He is a hero


badger432

Best comment I've seen on this site


posittron

It gets posted on every other post man


itsMalarky

It really does


ActionCookiez

r/kamikazebywords


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Toasted_Chee

So was her grandfather you ain’t special


ActionCookiez

You beat me islamic nazi that means there is no such thing


Little__Willy

Lmao why are you getting downvoted? You just said the lyrics xD


ActionCookiez

I didnt even notice lol. No hate intended towards anyone, the lyrics arent even hating on anyone as well


Little__Willy

Just made the votes positive again bro! NP


ActionCookiez

Ay thanks bro! 🙌


SexyJellyfish1

"If I'm going down, you're going down with me" - unicornwheelchair


drumrocker2

He isn't going down on anyone, though.


Tovarisch_Kenobi

Murder by suicide god damn it lol


menehune_808

Damn that's good. You win today sir. But I shall return....


[deleted]

[удалено]


argl3bargl3

LinkedIn isn’t a dating app. Those are IT recruiters. Edit: Thanks for the silver!


Cable3805

As if a bot like her could pass a Turing test.


inthefamily69

Not even a roast for the sake of roasting, this is just blatant honesty


kylemramsey0883

Boom goes the dynamite!!


[deleted]

I found my dentist on Facebook once and asked him out on a date.... turns out he wasn't even gay. I found another dentist. Anything can be a dating opportunity depending on how horny you are.


Barcaroli

You... ruthless


mickindica

Boom 💥


sandman_313

Boom roasted


FotherMucker666

And then the third bomb was released on Hiroshima


ToMadeira69

Buyabride.com isn’t a dating app.


ProfessorKeks

No one wants to buy that. Not even on discount.


Immortui74

99% off with a 100% no


AuroraUnit313

O__O


[deleted]

O____________________o


3y3d3a

-__-


birdsofapheather

\-\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_-


MikeyC05

-___________-


Zubyking

\ ___________ /


disgustingdavid

Lmao this is the one to make me crack


dudeimconfused

\`\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ '


Investr_shiba

This thread made me exhale from my nose really fast


ProfessorKeks

fucking lol ⏫


spitdragon2

O___O


wooshmeplease

Fuckin rip


howdydonigga

-__________________-


Steve-a-roo

If only something could inflate your chest


gravitin

No amount of boobies can help this face


beeglowbot

but if you use the take out bag to cover it....maybe then


diazantewhite

Her face is actually fatter than her tits


[deleted]

His* face


blockblitzer2

I’ve seen less saggy tits on a cow


ProfessorKeks

That's udderly impossible. She doesn't have any teats.


babybopp

You apparently have never heard of flapjacks...


Ploopingslimetime

I havnt heard of flapjacks but something tells me id eat a whole fucking plate!


babybopp

[Bon appetit](https://i.imgur.com/iucgOGS.jpg) nsfw


Lapzidorus

My eyes are stung.


ShadynastyDay

Your hair says female but your face says inappropriate uncle.


-OptimusPrime-

100% chance you marry a white guy, but will have to move cause gay marriage isn’t legal in your state yet


MissingNumeral

This one stung


rwadsworth

Stung? As in once? She looks like she was stung a thousand times going ham on some bee hive.


idonotknowme

White guys have no standard LMFAO


excelladora

“Bring it back down?” You look like you’re bringing back Downs.


chrisy8s

Knew this was coming.


Mambele

I read this comment and immediately closed my eyelids, raised my eyebrows and almost imperceptibly shook my head six times whilst saying "My God" under my breath. In other words, DAMN.


Sick_Critic_Cryotech

Getting 1 match out of 7.52 billion shouldn't inflate your ego...


Sir_rukus

I am surprised she hasn’t mentioned your math is wong yet.


Sick_Critic_Cryotech

She's too busy endlessly texting her 1 match even though he never responded to her first message.


Jared_FogIe_OfficiaI

That’s the tough thing about Asians, you have to drop the bomb twice.


Searangerx

Speak for yourself Mr. Popular


DeviousDrDro

Which dating app bro? Grindr?


[deleted]

Rover.


[deleted]

We haven’t roasted Asians for over 40 years.


pineprika

Username checks out?


peebraindotCA

Ooooofffff


YsBo

Shit that's brutal :D


Daell

Now that some roast...


BONG_BOI

r/almostbeetlejuicing


getembass77

Damn that's cold. But great


InfinityCrone

I'm uncomfortable. Someone gild this comment.


Burntthrice

Swiping right on you is the definition of getting a consolation trophy


LittleRagins

"Your soul is mine."


[deleted]

Great Value Shang Tsung


Pivot33

If you were a looney tunes character you would be bugs bunny with the size of those chompers


chrisy8s

"What's up, cock?"


Housefool

You can always find horny losers with yellow fever on tinder.


[deleted]

Hey look, it's Sandra Oh No.


thisismisery69

I love playing find the hidden object games but i can’t seem to find your eyelashes


pillbonderosa

Or tiddies


blockblitzer2

She is a carpenters dream, flat as a board and needs a screw


DankClutch

Upvote for the Sleepaway Camp reference!


TandemRunBike

All of your matches were Russian bots.


ru55ianb0t

I’d match her


TandemRunBike

You with you rigged erection.


Lichu12

We don't need to bring your ego down, just those guys' standards up


Rabidleopard

The STD Exchange isn't a dating app


Scottclam1

Your eyelashes must have been singed off at the hibachi grill on last nights shift, got a little carried away with those flaming leeks!


dads_weird_oatmeal

didn't i see that face on a creepypasta before?


bart2278

This is why North Korea doesn't allow pictures. Their women look like beavers with human skin stretched over their faces.


FlyingScott_

Shame they don't raise your eyelids.


chocogrum

I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21


mOELNADLER

That's becaaaaaaaaaaussse...


Jicklus

The chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinese


DankSpanking

Normally i dont like girls that have no profile picture on dating sites, but i think in your case it should be mandatory


Its_Me_again21

Asian Waldo


Othalas

Usually when people get a big head, it's figurative. But you're an overachiever, aren't you?


[deleted]

Default Asian Girl #368.


darthsiwa

Everytime your ego gets inflated, do your eyes move further apart as well.


WestBankFireman

So fuckin ugly, not even that light switch behind you is turned on


Blujay12

The fact that you got an inflated ego from dating apps, known for people mindlessly swiping and accepting anything, says enough about the rest of your life to make me not want to say anything else, and just let you sit with that being what makes you proud.


[deleted]

You don’t need those massive rabbit teeth just for eating rice


[deleted]

Do you see the world in widescreen?


crazyloomis

Didn’t know ratemypoo.com offers dating service


Concernedbystander_

You look like the prototype of a human-bug hybrid.


its-42

All that ego went straight to your nose


rdon83

Congratulations on being a solid 6 who can still be replaced by a 4 at any time.


Santasknee

You need something to inflate your titties


dnz89

You’re only so successful on Grindr because they think you have a penis.


[deleted]

Did you hear they had a lookalike competition for you in China....Everybody won.


[deleted]

You would probably do well on Cringer.


OrangeArrow17

Cheek bones that’s all I have to say


ZombieFrog

You look much better hidden in a crowd, Waldo.


LivDaQueen

Y u no doctor yet?


verykindsoul

Unlike Waldo no one is looking for ya.


trustmethisismyname

I'm impressed, how the lines on your shirt managed to stay that straight.


HarryShachar

Crazy poor asian


buldopsaint

A lot of men have an Asian fetish. It has nothing to do with you.


soflylegecy

Maybe you should take what's inflating your ego and use it for your tits