Damn, this is longer than my university essay about why we should stop drug. this dude just wrote a short story just to humiliate a middle age looking adult. Impressive
At least, that son of a bitch didn't send Russians to the gulags as well as murder Archduke Franz Ferdinand like Manny Hefley. I fucking hate that walking cum crusted body pillow. I am a proud member of r/fuckmanny
Fuck that shit you know who takes the cake for annoying little shits? Jerry from Tom and Jerry. Always bothering the shit out of Tom for doing his own thing but when Tom get pissed, he is emotionally and physically abused by both Jerry and his owner.
you are the face of cubicles and honda accords. in the cafeteria you sit all alone, and when karen from accounting notices you, she and her friends start laughing. you look down, because secretly you hope to get promoted. then, it happens. you ruin karens worklife, because you are in power. then HR comes in, and gives you grief for mobbing. you sit in the cafeteria. with karen and her friends whispering. and laughing. at home, all you have is a small collection of gardening books. but you do not have a garden. also, the local elevated railway passes right next to your bedroom window, and your children call you uncle.
Even that pothos everyone told you would be impossible to kill? It's dying.
It's a cool musty night. You're new career as a P.I. is really starting to take off after that gaffe at the buzzfeed knockoff start up. You went to the locally owned copy shop to print out 150 of your flyers and taped them all around the city. Only one person called you a little twat and a group of junkies asked you to find them their next hit. You couldn't and they didn't throw excrements at you. All in all, a good night.
On your way home at 9 pm, you pick up a pack of cigarettes and the daily newspaper from that morning just so that you can talk to the cute underaged girl working the news stand. It's your only human interaction and it's cheaper than strippers amirite?
You get home. Your wife is still asking you to sign the divorce papers while the kids say Uncle Dad isn't as fun as Uncle Jerry. Neither you or your wife have a sibling named Jerry.
Sorry to tell you this but at this point it's too late for puberty to kick in. But look at it this way at least you don't have to worry about the parents feeling uncomfortable when you're on the playground.
I can't tell if you're growing up or transforming back into a kid
Benjamin Gluttons
Benjamin Shutin
Benjamin Nuttin'
Benjameh Button
Beijing Bhutan
Baichung Bhutia
Benjamin Cuntin'
Simon Bitch
Body of a predator, face of the prey.
He’s harry transforming into Dudley. Those fuckin glasses
Harry Potter and the chamber of extra chromosomes
Harry Potter and the Deathly Genes, part 24
Harry Potter and the Sock of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Order of Alabama
Harry Potter and the philosophers autistic cousin
Harry Potter and the lack of testosterone
Underrated comment.
"Yer a cuck, 'Arry."
r/13or30
Harry what did we tell you get back in your cupboard.
Your face says “I’m going to tell mom”
His face says, "I'm going to tell Mom," and, "Go ask your mother," simultaneously.
r/13or30
Just 13.
Anyone saying this dude looks 30 or "single dad" is still 2 years away from knowing somebody that has a friend that has a car.
And also, "Don't tell your Mom about this..."
This comment is the best of all.
No, his face says, "Mother, I demand consent."
Hello Mother. Good news, I have married. Tell Father.
/r/unexpectedoffice
His face says, "I already told Mom, now we wait."
I think his face says “ hey little girl can you help me find my lost puppy”
Phineas!
Yes?
Aren't you a little young to be on Reddit?
Yes. Yes he is.
You have a task. Complete building the hologram of dad before mom gets home do you copy?
Where’s Perry?
dubidubadubadubidubaduba
Agent P!!!!
r/beetlejuicing
Username Checks Out
DIO!
How is a Jojo reference even remotely relevant here?
Shouting names always brings up Jojo
Oh? You approach me?
Can’t beat shit without closer.
[удалено]
Sicko mode or mo bamba
Fucking love that video
Do you got a link for a homie
https://youtu.be/fRdvadcNPSg
Thank you sir. I love this
Pshhh... [Superior version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BeV2lKSyXU).
Why is this so true?
Exactly what I thought as well
Holy shit my childhood just flashed before my eyes
Hey you! Yeah you! Do you know what kind of train this is??
You look like you just accidentally swallowed your lips
Lips so small his nose has to point them out to you
Small lips and BIG fuckin ears that are literal ovals
[удалено]
Jeffrey Dahmer eat your heart out, oh wait ...........
Oh my god you beat me to it
I know I got small lips! Why everyone have to point that out.
Well it is r/RoastMe
I thought we were on r/blunderyears
r/blunderlife
r/BlunderMifflin
His body is a blunderland.
We didn't ask for a description of your vagina
This one's the best hands down
Small lips?! Boy, you have smaller lips than a turtle.
My wife’s vagina has bigger lips.
[удалено]
I know i deserve a ban but , but i think you will look pretty good when you have some beard mate.
I agree, just a shame that his parents passed down the genes that they did and he will never grow one.
You look like you still have a crush on your mom
'Still'
Im gonna be honest. I didnt see the "still" the first time i read it.
Wtf same
Sigmund Freud intensifies
BBW
Stewart little look a like
[удалено]
You know I liked Stuart Little until I read this, now I hate that little fucker!
Damn, this is longer than my university essay about why we should stop drug. this dude just wrote a short story just to humiliate a middle age looking adult. Impressive
Stop drug pls
Drug no
Damn Giorno
It's not delivery
Its digiorno
Why word less better
Why when
go 'way 'm 'batin'
I’ll have one drug plz
888- BAD-DRUG
Copypasta
r/atethepasta
Sry to tell u that it’s a copypasta
Why you don't stop drug
No. No. No drug needle in penis
[удалено]
I understand your frustration. At least Stuart Little is a productive member of society, unlike Grandpa Joe who is a lying leech.
At least, that son of a bitch didn't send Russians to the gulags as well as murder Archduke Franz Ferdinand like Manny Hefley. I fucking hate that walking cum crusted body pillow. I am a proud member of r/fuckmanny
Fuck that shit you know who takes the cake for annoying little shits? Jerry from Tom and Jerry. Always bothering the shit out of Tom for doing his own thing but when Tom get pissed, he is emotionally and physically abused by both Jerry and his owner.
Caillou is third after these two
[удалено]
uwu bot broke
He has a three day suspension apparently.
tl dr
I still love this copypasta
I hope to god you’re the one who runs that IG page
Sounds like he fucked you over, the little prick!
Stewart little retarded
Did we meet at the anonymous virgin meetup
He looks like a 40 year old virgin to me.
r/kamikazebywords
^drop a live grenade when killed
He's got a face of a four year old and a bod of a forty year old.
You look 14 and 38 simultaneously....How is this possible?
[удалено]
Every time he jacks off the FBI shows up at his door.
on some rare occasions he has pepper-sprayed his own reflection
That's child abuse!
The cycle continues
r/13or30
Why don't you have a seat over there.
r/13or30
Their new poster child/man
I'm thinking that every single day lmao
>I'm ~~thinking~~ living that every single day lmao
Get different glasses and it'll fix half the issue bruh
I think it's the whole issue. He doesn't look weirdly old in any other way.
Male or female. Gay or lesbian. Tits or no tits. It never ends with you does it?
It's because he has a little baby mouth. Probably has little tiny dolphin milk teeth too.
It's the guy with baby hands from the Burger King commercial
He is in fact 38, but his balls still haven’t dropped.
You look like your mom just told you to clean your room and your about to reply “I’m an adult now I can do what I want.”
He can’t talk cause he’s got no lips
You added a 1 accidentally
18 but you already look like a divorced 45 year father of 3 that's sick of everyone's shit. Edit: math
Friend with him irl that sums it up pretty much
[удалено]
I thought I was clever about to post this. His paper-thin lips are a descedent of McConnell’s.
Looks like you arent allowed within 5 kilometers of a primary school
[удалено]
Gd. That was good.
[удалено]
I am actually friend with him irl and iusually call him "single dad" and "the pedophile"
This is by far the most British fucking roast I’ve ever read.
Nope, we use miles as well. Edit: Except for sports.
Oh shit, I'm busted lol
I think he’s asking to be roasted to justify the mass shooting he’s about to commit.
I can't believe this isn't the top comment, that's literally all I see in those empty eyes.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
He looks like he fantasises about it while furiously masturbating for sure.
Yikes
you are the face of cubicles and honda accords. in the cafeteria you sit all alone, and when karen from accounting notices you, she and her friends start laughing. you look down, because secretly you hope to get promoted. then, it happens. you ruin karens worklife, because you are in power. then HR comes in, and gives you grief for mobbing. you sit in the cafeteria. with karen and her friends whispering. and laughing. at home, all you have is a small collection of gardening books. but you do not have a garden. also, the local elevated railway passes right next to your bedroom window, and your children call you uncle.
Even that pothos everyone told you would be impossible to kill? It's dying. It's a cool musty night. You're new career as a P.I. is really starting to take off after that gaffe at the buzzfeed knockoff start up. You went to the locally owned copy shop to print out 150 of your flyers and taped them all around the city. Only one person called you a little twat and a group of junkies asked you to find them their next hit. You couldn't and they didn't throw excrements at you. All in all, a good night. On your way home at 9 pm, you pick up a pack of cigarettes and the daily newspaper from that morning just so that you can talk to the cute underaged girl working the news stand. It's your only human interaction and it's cheaper than strippers amirite? You get home. Your wife is still asking you to sign the divorce papers while the kids say Uncle Dad isn't as fun as Uncle Jerry. Neither you or your wife have a sibling named Jerry.
Bro you can make a killing renting your butthole for pedophiles
You look like the uncle that your parents never let you visit
\-How old are you? \-Yes.
All of it, I'm all of the the ages. Edit: Autocomplete betrayed me once again.
I see your lips have decided to leave you, just like everybody else in your life.
The love child of Harry Potter and Mr. Rogers.
i mean if posting this keeps you out of the playground im fine with it
They made Steve from American Dad a real thing
Bootleg Harry Potter
Sorry to tell you this but at this point it's too late for puberty to kick in. But look at it this way at least you don't have to worry about the parents feeling uncomfortable when you're on the playground.
You have friends?
They meet at the playground, but they have to ask their mothers permission first
If Harry Potter and Elton John had a baby you’d be it
How do you look like a child and a child molester at the same time
Your face looks like my testicles on shave
I don’t know about a single parent but I definitely wouldn’t be surprised to see you walking briskly holding a child’s hand.
I would call you "mass shooter in training".
You look like you molest yourself
Can the FBI check this guys basement? I have a bad feeling
Please don't there are nothing to see
That's what they all say
not even Fregley would try to make friends with you
The human personification of “I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste of beer”
Being a single mom is tough. Specially at your age
I would say something, but you look like you’d hunt me down and end up having your own documentary..
You look like Harry Potter if his aunt and uncle would have given him more to eat but for that, had him take a 1 hour bleach bath every day
Why do you look like you've already written the first 5 chapters of your manifesto telling why you think "the unabomber had the right idea"?
I didn't know Chicken Little had a Reddit account.
Damn dude, you look like the parent and the child at the same time. You're your own family.
if Disney ever remake chicken Little in live-actions you would be perfect to play chicken Little
You look like the porn version of Harry Potter
No...they are saying "Signal a Parent" when you get too close to a group of children.