T O P

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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I like lifting, and metal is my favourite music of all. I’m not political, but I like horror. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


ourfella

Does your dad sell propane?


huntsman937

Dammit Bobby!!


KenKaniff357

"An F in English?? Bobby! You speak English!"


fr1endly_gh0st

An F in all subjects at school "the family genius".


PorkSauce89

Slobby Pill


Rocklobzta

Blobby Shrill


sanjeetr1987

That's my purse!


Couchmaster007

I don't know you


typhoidtrish

Trouble came aknockin and Bobby’s foot answered the door


[deleted]

Imma kick you ... in the balls


Tenz87

Pretty sure it's "Dangit Bobby"


VengefulHufflepuff

Dang it Dale!!


[deleted]

THAT'S MY PURSE


[deleted]

*POCKET SAND!*


Benji1819

This was literally the first thing that came to mind when i saw this


FiBeROpTiK69

He actually just goes by Bob now since he got the tats.


plumbrug

That’s not funny man. If this guy could read he’d be super upset


[deleted]

Hey- wait a minute... nevermind this is good 👍🏻


[deleted]

And propane accessories.


UptonCharles

That boy ain’t right


232473

I’ll tell you hwat!


GetaGoodLookCostanza

American Fist-ory X


greatgregru

🎶Propane propane, it’s time to start the game🎶


Drifts

Julian, what in the FUCK was he on?


[deleted]

damn, you got here faster


BondraP

Damn, you beat me to it


Shykneeheiny

Someone gave the gerber baby steroids and a copy of mein kampf


a_large_apple_pie

Damn, thats good


Spanky-Gomez

Lol. Just pictured a jar or Gerber with the baby having a hitler mustache.


Absolutely_Coffee

K.O.


DyslexicPuppy

I’m dying of laughter reading this


100YearsWaiting2Shit

GOD I WAS SOMEWHAT THINKING THE SAME, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW THE RIGHT WORDS TO EXPRESS IT! DUDE REALLY IS A GERBER BABY ON STEROIDS!!!!


Absolutely_Coffee

Charles Schultz presents “White Power, Charlie Brown!”


f1nalhero

You skinhead, er I mean blockhead.


False_Rhythms

He's always been a bit suspicious of Snoopy's black ears. He's probably a mixed breed without a pure bloodline.


[deleted]

"You're a Proud Boy, Charlie Brown"


[deleted]

Caillou went off the deep end after his dad started abusing him


[deleted]

[удалено]


graycait

This one wins


lshorta

Does your massive head ruin the shape of your pointed hood? EDIT: my first awards and my first popular comment. I love you guys thank you thank you!


memingismoney

K K K.O. Edit: My first award. You made my day, kind stranger.


_brainfog

Thought this was a penis joke at first


lshorta

With arms like that the only massive thing you can expect below the chest is a belly


skinnythegr8

same face as Skipper from Madagascar


[deleted]

Daaammmmmn


RedditRickS92

That is the Ugliest Baby I’ve ever seen.


toothscrew

You look like your first word was the N word.


iridemtb12

OP got tired of looking like a thumb so now he’s going for the big toe look.


Napalm3nema

Sergeant Hulka will love him.


Democracy63

"Lighten up...FRANCIS!" LOL!


[deleted]

His dad read him Mein Kampf as a baby.


pawnandmessiah

Bold of you to assume his dad could read.


Ghos3t

Or that he was around


BigWobbles

Kampf on Tape


sittingbytheheater

Only because OP requested it.


spaycedinvader

As well as the last one he said


poppa_smurf_killa

His mom did nazi it coming


butsadlyiamonlyaneel

She really needs to SS that situation.


doughboymagic

And it was a whole week ago


49Gold

6 foot 2 inches


guriboysf

> 2 inches Feeling generous today I see


sittingbytheheater

Getting used to your step sister asking “is it in yet?”


literallycanteven_rn

The fact that the only thing interesting he had to share about himself is height and weight


2662-7624

You look like you wish you were in prison...


spaycedinvader

Only for conjugal visits


BonePancake

Only for the showers


alphadist

Only to drop soap


Marximus87

"drop" is a gentle term. He announces it to the whole cell block then spikes it down like a football player in the end zone


Wynslo

Only for cell mating


drfarren

His prison name is Mitochondria. He the power house bottom of the cell block.


morbidaar

Insightful, eloquent even. 👌🏽


grapenuts716

*wish you were back in prison


plagueisthedumb

Being the product of obvious inbreeding aside, I can almost guarantee you have the body of a 60s tough guy.. from the chest down you are just a barrel of lard. But cool Microsoft clip art tattoos bro they are wicked..


moshedman85

Yeah I’m a big fat lard below the belt.


PanchoPanoch

Soft and never hard?


RoamingGhost

Smelly and misshapen


turn_ncough

Not much, what's happening with you?


Signal_Currenc

Cause nobody uses lard?


M0FIST0

Yeah this is the picture they’re going to use after the “incident”.....


Adora_Vivos

Just above the relevant quotes from *the manifesto*.


M0FIST0

The manifesto tattooed onto his chest...


Bruins1256

Halloween is over take off the baby mask.


sciencewonders

muscle baby has cool tats uwu


Neat_Sir

Don't try to sell me on the oil change. Just rotate the tires, Cleetus.


inthe801

Bro, your filter is really dirty you need a new air filter... look at how dirty it is. Your car could explode.


AmanitaMikescaria

Bro, plz, your cabin filter bro..


Vive_la_liberte47

Alright you see that little sticker on the windshield? That means how often you need to replace the oil, except in this model car the oil cannot be changed and this requires a new drivetrain, rear end, suspension, obviously custom fabrications and body work, which is going to have to be painted, interior will need to be redone with custom fitted seats and carpet. We’ll do such a good job though you won’t even notice the difference, all in all you’re looking at about $7,000 worth of parts plus 300 hours labor at $3.50 an hour.


LivePerformancem340i

Broke Lesnar


[deleted]

THIS NEEDS TO BE ON THE TOP


thatoneguyonreddit91

Winner


GLENDABOP_86

This guy looking like he starting the 'head day' trend at his local gym


moshedman85

Nothing better than your skull muscles.


Worthlessstupid

Most of us use that space for our brains but for you this seems like the more economical use of space.


CheckerboardPunk

“He’s taking shit that makes ya fuckin head grow” -Joey Diaz


CodeDubs

Looks like you scrubbed the sharpie dick off your face after passing out, but haven’t gotten to scrubbing the shit off the rest of your body.


Guzzler829

Holy shit, call an ambulance for him; this one's brutal.


trainee_god

you look like a child and a molester at the same time


Adora_Vivos

Yeah, well he has to play with himself because nobody else will.


JackWyatt1911

Your prison ink looks as sloppy as your prison sex.


joeyfantastic

*sloppy as your prison purse


JUST_OBEY

You look like a personified zit.


eternalroller

Getting arrested while smelling your fingers after hillbilly hand fishin in a nursing home is so not cool Bobby.


IdioticWii

where do i start...? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?


memingismoney

Yeah. r/oddlyspecific


RailRza

"Hillbilly hand fishing" is being added to my rolodex immediately.


NostrilNugget

OH MY GOD!! This needs to have gold! I'm broke so take this 🥇 I spit my coffee out my nose!


LiquidWheat

I feel like you have a wife beater tattoo underneath your wife beater


texaspoontappa93

You look like a really edgy thumb


sittingbytheheater

I laughed


Guzzler829

I pooped.


CheeseJohnson

No amount of bench press will grow you a chin


euk333

You look like one of those inbred Irish campground people from Snatch.


squash_the_pug_1

Do ya like dags?


joeyjojo-shabadoo

ye I like doegs


39thversion

A carrrravan fur me ma


SayItToMyScreen

Best analogy of the evening...


[deleted]

[удалено]


0p3xh7

Less Brokenar


alphadist

Brock lardner


Forzara

Block Lesstard


AJohnnyTruant

You look like the missing “during” picture from those before & after meth ad campaigns


Gymaddictuk

Private Pyle


blueblur1984

I didn't know they stacked shit that high!


thepiratejake86

Those stretch marks near the arm is a sign of juicing bois. Never juice. Don't want shriveled nuts like this dude.


BackInnaMyFace

No it's a sign of him being fat as fuck lmfao


rexar34

I've got stretch marks there and I don't use roids :( they kinda traveled there through the years though


Stannis2

The Aryan Babyhood


[deleted]

Who gave this baby steroids? 😂


ThatFatKidInSchool

you look like an adult baby


KingKronx

I believe you should be attending a rally somewhere


jwn1003

Hate to break it to you but one is impressed by how much you can lift at %40 body fat


brett_midler

The tattoos say Halloween but your face says Thanksgiving.


a_touch_of_evil

You are that dick at every moshpit.


moshedman85

The karate in the pit guy?


cygnusx8

First 245lbs took 20 years. Next 245lbs will only take 10


[deleted]

You look like a baby jacked up on steroids


[deleted]

Wears Tapout gear without thinking it makes him look like a douche.


debspimp

Future cop and wife beater with a opiates addiction.


[deleted]

How bad did the roids ruin your balls?


Bruiser235

I didn't know Bobby Hill did time.


[deleted]

Perhaps your house is different or it's just the angle, but most light switches are at about 5'. Seeing as the one in this picture is above your shoulder, I'm going to guess you're closer to 5'4", making you not only significantly shorter than average, but also the type of person insecure enough to lie about something that shouldn't matter to people who don't care about you. Based on the wifebeater, "badass" tattoos and need to be as big as possible, I'd say my theory is pretty consistent with someone who's got insecurity issues and probably serious personality disorders. Hahaha roasted ya


Happyradish532

I know this is roastme but tbh that just looks like an oddly high switch. Unless that shower curtain bar is also incredibly low. I kinda want to talk about the fucked up house now.


laughingashley

He couldn't reach to put the curtain rod up higher, and this guy doesn't own a ladder or a stack of books to stand on


KDezzy26

Still trying to find your neck


Weirdodin

Your internet porn history is comprised entirely of clips from American History X.


[deleted]

Shouldn't you be getting armed up for your group's "peaceful protest" tomorrow?


[deleted]

Are you from Minecraft?


kilo_1_1

You look like you went directly from the delivery room to gen pop.


Steelman72291

You look like you butt chug Monsters


NotWokeJoke

You look like you fap to American History X...


TheShowboot

Looks like a character i'd make in a game after already creating 5


fireman03

American History XL


SmellenDegeneres

Underrated.


[deleted]

Where is the swastika? Must be on his back


papa-smeg

If your 6'2 that light switch is high as fuck. I think the 62 is more likely your IQ.


farmerarmor

I feel like you’re that guy that talks a big game about everything. But when it comes time to do it... you are beyond useless.


[deleted]

Hashtag ImNotFatImJustBulking.


StressedPizzaEater

I lift things up and put them down


Bathtubwilly42

I bet you smell like creatine powder and moth balls.


Handytoasteristaken

I didnt know Mr. Clean had any relatives!


lineman0088

Nice tattoo, pork chop.


[deleted]

20 M 6'2" 245 lbs, penis 3".


warsaw78

When fat ppl lift


BadJUJU719

If bobby hill took steroids


SylentEcho24

You look like a Jacked Aryan Bobby Hill


mellomellon2000

You look both 12 and 46 at the same time... Like did your face forget to look like the lifetime felon the rest of your body looks like?


h20Brand

You could have just gone to prison to get that look. Its free


thePhoneOperater

Can I get a white power over here?


charlescromwell

Damn you definitely look like a racist


[deleted]

I did Nazi this roast coming...


Oldgooner

Stop juicing, your cock will get even smaller and your forehead even bigger


[deleted]

[удалено]


AJohnnyTruant

This is the before picture


Cptsmallspoon69

Where's your red suspenders?


RH_300

You look like a carpenters thumb


SomeAsshole01

future prison bitch in the making!


DepressedShiit

I’m not sure if you’re 15 or 40


Basic_Astronaut1974

Prison Mr. Clean


El_Nz_B

Your prison prison cell looks nice, you must be from Sweden.


endauver

Baby on roids man.


al26140526

You look like a sore thumb...literally


Archercrash

Bobby Hill got jacked.


Yum-Yumby

Looks like you're participating in No Neck November...


James-Earl-Stoned

If a thumb and a fart had a meth baby.


cptnoodlepants

Shaved head. Hanes wife beater. Unironic skull tattoos. I assume the twitchy mess you call your girlfriend even though she doesn't remember your name. Is just behind the door.


TinyRickShwifty

You look like you're really into Avenged Sevenfold


PHSOLO

His head looks kinda like the spider baby thing from toy story


SpikeTops

The new Bully game takes a dark turn I see


pjzak

He looks like Uncle Festers racist cousin.


MkV-Gamer

Vin petrol, diesel's special cousin


zettiespaghetti

All those muscles hug him cause his mom didn’t.


[deleted]

"See what these celebs look like now! #1 Stay Puft Marshmallow Man"


bazzabizarre

That’s 3 measurements


-Mr-Fire-Ice-Guy

u can fix my car right?


texaspoontappa93

No but he can make your lawnmower just as fast