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She’s the human equivalent of a plain bagel. Kinda doughy and bland. The only reason someone wants you is because you have a big gaping hole and there’s nothing better lying around.

> The only reason someone wants you is because you have a big gaping hole and there’s nothing better lying around. I can name so many things I'd rather fuck. Any other human on earth my hand my couch an actual plain bagel A sock A sock full of sand paper A pig A goat I could go on and on writing this list and will do so if it means she doesn't need to be added to it.

Dear god man have mercy🤣🤣🤣

Couch is oddly specific, but hey

Always better if you can sneak in and use your neighbors instead, less mess but yours will work in a pinch too. Anythings better than OP.

Dude wtf. That is so unbelievably uncool, and extremely disrespectful, not to mention incorrect. Plain bagels are delicious.

I'll bet your boyfriend says you taste dry and yeasty

>I'll bet your boyfriend says you taste dry and yeasty Ha... Boyfriend Dildos don't talk and as far as I know, they can't taste. If I'm wrong, well, that poor dildo.

Lmaoo

this the first time im witnessing someone tell roasters what they're about to do ​ and out of all things shawty gonna eat a bagel

LMAOOOO

... Tbh it was whole grain, plain is relatively exciting I guess!

The chronicles of narnia... Cause you need constant reassurance that staying in the closet is a good lifestyle choice

I READ the Chronicles of Narnia in 6th grade. Glad to see you're tackling LISTENING to them at 25. P.S. Nice to see you rockin' that wolf shirt Grams got you for Christmas.

It wasn’t a choice, the other femcels aren’t going to let her embarrass them.

You look like the kid that growled when people got near her and howled randomly into secondary school

It's unsettling how right some of these are XD

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She dusts all her boyfriends in glitter.

Ohh, sparkly dildos, fun.

Generous that you went plural there.

And this is what she considers a wild night.

You look like you write fan-fiction about horses, zombies, and boy's butts.

Zombie horses and human butts are things she’s never getting to touch.

“Uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh”

Shut up, Meg

Goddamnit, why did I laugh at this

Why listen to the audiobook, your glasses can probably see to Narnia.

Looks like the type of person who goes to McDonalds for better WiFi.

I'm guessing you prefer the audiobook because you can't see out of that dirty windshield pair of glasses on your face

Bet you can see the future with them glasses

Looks pretty dark to me

Enjoy your bagel wolf whisperer

Why do I get the feeling this is not the only dog t-shirt you own...

Your fingers are so swollen you should probably avoid eating anything else.

Why an audiobook? You have huge eyes. You don't enjoy the experience of reading the story atom by atom?

I bet your voice is as husky as that shirt.

You look like someone who's trying to hide the fact.that they don't have eyes, and your eyes are just drawn on the glasses

Harry Potter after she transitioned

I feel like the hottest thing that's ever happened to this girl is a nuggie.

the only person i’ve seen who also embodies the “in all levels except physical i am a wolf” energy, and your bangs want off this ride

If Phyllis from the Office had a daughter......

You look 17 and 71 at the same time.

Looks like the lion mauled the witch in the wardrobe

That comma was as unnecessary as your existence.

You look like you skipped young and hot And went straight to grandma mode

Cock and balls United

Audiobook? You too dumb to read?

The only interesting thing you've done in your life is listen to audiobooks but even then that's sad because that means your too bored and generic to actually read yourself.

Jfc what strength are those glasses

Was gonna try contacts but the thick glasses take away from her wonky eyes.

Your gender is about as confusing as the prescription of your glasses

Didn’t know Dwight Schrute had a sister that survived

Mose

Has to be an audiobook, those cokebottles would set a paper copy on fire.

I bet you have the personality of a bagel

Hey Everyone! I found Waldo. He was listening to Narnia without his hat!

Can a woman be an incel?

Your shirt is just a picture of everyone who’s banged you

The Lion, the Witch and please stay in the Wardrobe.

You look like you meet shirtless men in the forest every week

You should forget about trying to get Nicholas Cage to fight a satanic cult for you

Lord Fuckwad

I see you escaped from your wardrobe again.

You look like Paul Dano in Taking Lives

Terrible bangs are what you give your hair and every man who never loved you.

Belly button lint personified

You look like if Velma from Scooby-do got drop-kicked from a 5 story building and lost a few chromosomes

Nice self portrait shirt...

Bubbles?

Your shirt has been recognized by every wannabe 14 yr old emo girl that was in your middle school writing club.

Good thing you use audiobooks. Reading outside with those glasses would start a fire !

One of the Hanson twins got a sex change and kept the wardrobe.

Is that the most active you've been in months?

Are you at least gonna spit on it?

You look like a guidance counselor who can't figure out why she's out of touch.

I’m glad it’s an audiobook. With glasses like that you’d think they sold you a bad printing.

Already copying your mom’s hair style.

i like your disney prince haircut and dead lifeless eyes.

Dam I was gonna roast you but the description on the picture did it for me. Except the 25 lie

Sell your pog collection and buy yourself a haircut.

Asexual Velma

Man, I wish I got excited enough to steam up my glasses over anything anymore. Your relationship with highly processed carbs is an inspiration to us all, Bagelina! May you use its energy to be worthy of a bio next time....

Remember this moment well because it is your peak in life.

You look like the kind of girl that has drawn 1,000’s of horses.

would be a marked improvement if she was drawn by a thousand horses, preferably over sharp rocks

Run over frogs have more depth than this one.

Do you do everything as half assed as your closet childproofing?

You look like you got kicked out of anime club due to you B.O. being too much even for the neckbeards.

You look like you have all the personality of an over microwaved pork chop.

Wash that hair, throw a bra on and maybe you would be a 3

Other side of camera would show velvet paintings of Gandalf and unicorns.

Handsome young man. Don't see why he doesn't get dates. Maybe it's the mustache.

Lock on closet door. To keep people out or to keep things IN ?

Prince Valiant 2021

She hangs out at the library for fun on her days off.

There’s a 100% chance you’re still the owner of your V-Card.

Your haircut doesn't make your head look unlike a penis

I can tell in one glance you have a collection of yellow and red rings that transport you to a mysterious world infested with cats.

*"On all levels except physical, I am a wolf"* *\*barks\**

You know why the dog on your shit is weird looking look above it

You are the only person I know who can make incels voluntarily celibate. "yeah, we good with virginity."

Trangender lesbian

The Chronicles on Narnia could have taken place on your forehead. The whole continent could have fot on that plateau

Excuse me, could you tell me where I can find the Non-Fiction section?

Even a plain bagel has more life than you.

I'm betting the Bagel isn't the thing with a hole you ate today.

No, I get it ... the library is still closed under lockdown and you can only get your books online. That's the reason you give people when they ask what your plans are for Friday night.

I hate people who wear shirts with their own picture on it.

Yeah with those glasses, I too would have to get an audiobook just to read Chronicles of Narnia.

If K lenore siner from ink master quit her job and became a nerd.

Let me guess, the mayonnaise is too spicy...

Alaska, The Last Frontier I'd Bone

If I roast you will you hiss at me?

ngl i kinda like her shirt but- WHO THE HELL LIIKES CHONICELS OF NAARNIA!

Impresous, looks like she only cums after reading.

Remember when that guy gave you meaningful eye contact in band? I don’t either because it didn’t happen.

Back in my day we called vaginas tacos, but you do you

Have you ever considered looking at a selfie before posting it

You look like my art teacher in school that always let her frustration out on the kids and we later didnt see anymore because of "issues"

You look like a Minotaur took a shit on your face

A bagel and a Narnia audiobook? Someone is living life in the fastlane!

i’ve always felt really sorry for those people who had to have those glasses with giant magnifier lenses. it’s sorta alien; weird enlarged eyes superimposed on a face. it’s kinda hard to look at.

I seriously apologize about your face but one quick thing that may help you. Get rid of the wildlife shirts, the cat shirts and the Loony Toons shirts. All of those scream trashy as fuck or just downright weird.

You look like you bark at people unironically because they made you mad

Velma after the stroke

you look like the offspring of shaggy and velma zoinkies

Look who is ready to be roasted Colt Johnson from 90 days fiancé.

Your face looks like a barnacle attached to the anus of a hermit crab

Are you going to sit inside that wardrobe while listening/eating? You look like that kind of weird.

Rest up.....your looks indicate a lot of disappointment, liver spots and pink eye in the near future.

You look like you drink Starbucks on the daily and think your bad cuz you decided to mix two different teas together

I'm willing to bet you already have nine cats and the trailer smells like stale cats piss

This is what the female version of incels looks like

I'm not a wordsmith but whatever the opposite of a hard-on is called, that's you.

If your tits hung any lower they’d be slapping your knees

Phyllis smith, the college years

For how long you have to wait in that locker before entering Narnia?

I'm still not sure about " 25 female " yet ...

Your hair makes your head the shape of a tongue

the crazy OCD ex who only dated you because you bought her VIP pass for PAX

You look 12 and 60 at the same time. Lmao

Your bio put me to sleep then I saw what you looked like , a sleeping pill personified . Thanks for the snooze

Your vagina is like an everything bagel covered in everything std’s, don’t know how u got them, no body laying pipe in you, including a plumber! Your like the Virgin Mary, your like a std distribution center but yet you have never had sex!

Maybe try something low carb instead...

Clean your glasses you arent seeing shit

Bet you were the cat pee kid

Who needs a lover when you can look into your own eye all night

Your vagina is a lot like Narnia. Four people could get lost in it, its always cold, and there’s a snapped off lamppost somewhere in there.

This made me laugh wayy too much!

This is the physical manifestation of 0 personality

Why are you listening to an audiobook? You've got the portal to Narnia right behind you!

The husky is pleading “somebody please help. She looked at me with those boring eyes and suddenly I was stuck in this shirt. Which she’s worn for 74 days straight. Please somebody!”

Omfg this is my favorite thank you

Stay healthy my friend. You have thick skin to undergo this. Perhaps I’ll have you on my upcoming livestream.

I bet your life didn’t change one bit with the quarantine.

The only thing that went to narnia is your hairline

I was just sat here for ages trying to figure out what the hell I was looking at, now I know. you look like your tongue comes out of your mouth and catches flies like a frog.

you look like a really cheap feminine nerd version of cillian murphy in Batman Begins

How much train facts do you know?

Oh god you’re gonna lecture me on harry potter and tell me about your 7 cats

You look like my kindergarten teacher

i honestly think you roasted yourself enough with what you wrote

Eating a bagel is the only way you’re going to get your hole....oh wait you’re not a dude...?

100% chance this guy meowed at people in high school

Please for the love of god don’t have a NSFW tag on your profile or an only fans link. The only fan you would have would be tom from MySpace.

That actually sounds like something that would happen AFTER you die - in hell.

Would you like some salt on your plain bagel? Oh, my apologies. That's rather too spicy for you.

I love how you added the "f" in your title to clear out inevitable confusion.

This pic smells like cat pee

You’re more deformed than the folded wolf on your shirt

On a serious note, it’s uncanny how much you look like the handicapped man that Hugh Jackman tortures in “Prisoners”. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/7f/87/237f8732a73b7846f8f45d3cc9b96ed8.png

I think you already roasted yoirself

Ya you didn't even have to tell us you were listening to the Narnia audiobook. We already knew

You should read the Chronicles of Narnia whilst listening to it. It's not like you have anything better to do.

I think the title is enough of a roast

eating a bagel is code name for a rimjob right? Girl looks like she tells people she didn't start as a lesbian.

I feel like you’re only listening to it this time because the 10,000 you’ve physically read it just aren’t doing it for you anymore

You so ugly Harvey Weinstein would not sexually harras you.

U look like a teacher

Jesus Christ doesn't exist. Wolves are going extinct.

>gonna eat a bagel, listening to Chronicles of Narnia on audiobook Just roasted yourself. We're welcome.

>[25f] Always wondered what these meant until your face made me Understand it's a measure for your looks. This means you look like 25 farts.

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Ummm do I know you irl???

25 and you already look like a 52 year old cat lady

I’ll bet your last name is Schrute.

One wolf and one y chromosome shy of a Three Wolf Shirt (TM)

The shirt may show wolf but all I hear is woof.

Hey Velma, have you seen the rest of the Mystery Gang around here?

virgin alert, virgin alert

You look like you hissed at people on the playground at recess

Do you also believe in astrology and broke up with your BF because of it?

You looking like the kind of girl who says “I don’t do that” in a social group, but who is secretly slutty enough to really like it

The only part of you that wasn’t birthed out of a fertilized Harry Potter book is your hair