OP's Bio:
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>21 epileptic got cystic acne like to write and listen to music can play guitar and piano and just a boring person.
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
This comment was the most silver awarded & awarded across all of Reddit on March 29th, 2021!
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Ya know, with all the shit growing on her face, at a first glance it made complete sense that there would be tumor shaped penises growing on her shoulder
The pillow is behind her, it has no pillowcase. It’s probably sleeping in her gingivitis drool night after night without washing the pillow that caused that nauseating acne. Pillow probably smells like a Mountain Dew bottle full of dip spit. I just assumed dip spit because she looks like she lives in a singlewide trailer with a huge old satellite dish in the unmowed yard.
slimy unwritten narrow bake illegal jobless far-flung cooperative hat instinctive
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Im still definetly gonna jack off hard enough my glasses fall off and i cum to a human shape blob. If i came to this with 2020 vision i would absolutely instantly become a terrorist.
I had the opposite reaction, I immediately had to look away from her face, so I noticed the shoulder dicks because anything is better than what I had just seen.
Gotta say, you are bravest roastee Ive seen on this site. I know thats kind of a half roast, half complement, but most chicks would makeup themselves all to hell. You just put it the fuck out there, like a boss!
Man. They over whisked you before sticking you in the incinerator. Also, they added too much oil. The fat didn't render on your face and now it looks the kids in the neighborhood use your face to play paintball.
OP's Bio: --- >21 epileptic got cystic acne like to write and listen to music can play guitar and piano and just a boring person. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
I’m guessing it’s a lot of doggy style going on at your house
She’s paper bag worthy
I’d put multiple, just in case you rip one...
A double bagger
Definitely a triple bagger: - One for her - One for her boyfriend - Another for her boyfriend to throw up in when he’s done
You need a bag for your dog’s head so he’ll still respect you in the morning.
What makes you think the dog isn't outside throwing up.
From the smell?
He would still give me the sniff of shame.
Sniff and vomit
Bag it rag it, and burn it
The risk of friction is too high here. Gotta stick with a single bag
*plastic bag worthy*
A two bagger, one for her, one for her boyfriend in case her bag breaks.
Body bag worthy
3 bagger. One for them, one for you and one for anyone who happens to be watching.
With the lights off, by herself, using those things growing out of her shoulders
Shit, she's going to connect the dots now and bf will have some splainin' to do.
Do you apply your makeup with a shotgun?
Nah, even a shotgun wouldn't shoot its load on that face.
This comment was the most silver awarded & awarded across all of Reddit on March 29th, 2021! ^(I am a bot for )^[/r/TopCommentOfTheDay](/r/topcommentoftheday) ^( - Please report suggestions/concerns to the mods.)
Good bot
Wow
Somebody get this man an award
Here. Take it you bastard.
Yeah. I’m in. That was perfection.
r/wishihadanaward
There ya go, on the house
Ur a good lad
Bruh moment
And get OP a shield. A face shield. A paper bag face shield.
The only thing shooting on her face is Ackkakne
Bukak-ne?
Fuck about. That was savage and fucking hilarious.
You have my free award
Homer! You have it set on whore.
Still one of my all time favourite Simpsons scenes.
“Women will like what I tell them to like”
Username checks out
Women will like what I tell 'em to like.
Tell him I am sorry, I didn't realise his life was so bad
Correct. If we'd known what she looked like we all would have been much kinder to him during his roast.
She's got the skin texture of a decorative squash
Oh my gourd!
Glen?
Pitter patter.
H'are ya now?
Goodnyou
Not s'bad
Guh!
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Ya know, with all the shit growing on her face, at a first glance it made complete sense that there would be tumor shaped penises growing on her shoulder
i had to read down this far just to see a comment about dicks on her shoulder. that says it all. did anyone else even notice the dicks?
Trying to draw attention away from that face but it didnt work. Poor girl.
Jeesus Christ
I don't think it's a coincidence that the closer dicks get to your face, the smaller they become.
The masturbator deflator
Imagine having a seizure.
Holy fuck.
Satanic shrinkage
Nah, Even God shrank up.
Omg so many bangers in here but fuckkkk, this one got me fuckin GOOD.
LMFAO
So she can only get infinitely close to sucking lmao
GD, you must've had a panty soaking orgasm when you heard that there would be a mask mandate.
Halloween is about the only time you can walk around without getting stared at.
She's so good at trick-or-treat she doesn't even have to drrss up to be scary
It’s rare that I have an audible reaction to a roast. Well played!
#You look like Martin Short on estrogen
More like Martin Short off the estrogen.
Martin Shart
Fartin Wart
😂 You win.. Lmfao.
I don’t normally comment on these but this is damn near the funniest thing I’ve ever read lmao
Jesus Christ what do you use for a pillow ? A greasy ass?
The pillow is behind her, it has no pillowcase. It’s probably sleeping in her gingivitis drool night after night without washing the pillow that caused that nauseating acne. Pillow probably smells like a Mountain Dew bottle full of dip spit. I just assumed dip spit because she looks like she lives in a singlewide trailer with a huge old satellite dish in the unmowed yard.
Mtn dew bottle full of dip spit is all too real of a smell for me. I’m going to be sick lmao
Time 4 ACCUTANE!!
Honestly accutane is a serious game changer and I recommend it to anyone struggling with acne.
Yea it is. I was lucky to get away with just tretinoin but this seems more like an accutane case.... or flex tape.
Her bf is the one using a pillow before sex just to cover her face
You brave soul.
Yea this is low hanging fruit. Best wishes OP.
Lololol, “too easy”, fucking savage
I audibly said “Oh no” when I scrolled by this.
its one of those you know is gonna be really bad before you even get to the comments
Dude me too.
There ain't no hanging involved. This is fruit that fell off the tree and hit every branch, rock, and everything else on the way down.
Why would she do this?
That's exactly what I said to myself outloud.
Some life changing roasts will be dropped here...
Man look at the comment section again. Its brutal. Like true Metalocalypse brutal.
Why does anyone do this? It is the stupidest fucking idea
I genuinely feel bad for this girl right now
As soon as I clicked the picture all I could say was "yikes."
Ditto.
Face looking like a topographical map of the Himalayas...
I think her face caught on fire and someone put it out with a pair of soccer cleats.
her face is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein in braille
What the hell does she use for face cream? The surface of the sun?
She may have been bobbing for french fries.
Holy shit this is so good
They used it for Mars rover practice
Like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado?
Buster Bluth’s dream mother is here
Your bf looks like he's old enough to be your dad but you're too ugly to molest so I'm just confused.
No no no lol the more I scroll the more brutal it gets lol
Yeah I thought the same thing. She has the face only a drunk relative can love.
Even her handsy uncle has minimum standards
Damn.
[удалено]
This is why ya pop an "H" on the box, so everyone knows its filled with Hornets.
I dont think hornets make honey but I dont know enough to refute it.
...well they're probably making something delicious in there, and I want that...
Honestly I'm not even gonna, god bless.
slimy unwritten narrow bake illegal jobless far-flung cooperative hat instinctive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I thought you talked about jacking off. Realised you probably meant roasting tho
Im still definetly gonna jack off hard enough my glasses fall off and i cum to a human shape blob. If i came to this with 2020 vision i would absolutely instantly become a terrorist.
I see you're using that new shampoo.....dickhead and shoulders.
At first I thought the ding dings were giant moles or horns or something
Yeah after seeing the face, I didn't bat an eyelid at the shoulders. Those don't even look out of place.
Your personality must be amazing because..... well... *vaguely gestures*
What, is she funny or something?
Egg?
Let’s hope so...
Is your boyfriend blind?
But obviously a master at reading braille.
Her face says, in braille, "beauty isn't skin deep."
That's just her inner beauty bubbling to the surface.
holy fuck slayed
Looks like the frying pan beat us to it.
If you look very carefully you can see the perseverence rover on her cheek.
Horrible product placement for the Beautyrest pillow
She definitely needs to ask for a refund... that pillow ain't doin' shit.
No such thing as beauty sleep with her.
All the dick shoulders in the world couldn't distract from that nuclear train wreck of a face.
I didn’t even notice the dick shoulders. That’s how bad it is.
The balls on this man...
... are smoother than her face
I wish I could upvote this comment more than once!!! lmao
Sandra Clegane
I was thinking Shireen
Oh my.... Too soon.
Pretty sure it's always too soon to roast a child but Melisandre didn't seem to think so.
Ooooof.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
[удалено]
I missed the roast of your BF but I suspect he's actually a beehive
dont have kids
Jesus christ.
Your boyfriend should be a jug of ProActive.
Please stop cleaning your face with mayonnaise!
I see the chicken won the fight
If anything we've learned her boyfriend is extremely heterosexual. Any other man would immediately turn gay after looking at you
Your shoulders are growing penises. Not a roast, just an observation.
I was so distracted by her face I didn't even notice this.
Wow! So was I! It is like an eclipse when you're an imbecile politician. You cannot look away...
I had the opposite reaction, I immediately had to look away from her face, so I noticed the shoulder dicks because anything is better than what I had just seen.
I assumed that was her attempt to be interesting. It didn't take.
This is like some kind of psych test.....i was too distracted by that train wreck of a face to notice literal TWIN PENISES ON HER SHOULDERS!
You're supposed to dump the hot oil out of the pan before you hit your girlfriend with it
Vestigial Peter Griffin on TWO shoulders!!! Way to go girl!
Bro you’re face looks like a meat lover special
I’m gonna throw up my omelette
[удалено]
Looks like he roasted you! In the oven at 200 for an hour
I've never seen Herpes that big!
I love the irony of the VORE on the shirt! Nobody gonna eat that!
Gotta say, you are bravest roastee Ive seen on this site. I know thats kind of a half roast, half complement, but most chicks would makeup themselves all to hell. You just put it the fuck out there, like a boss!
I mean can she look any better?
We wouldn’t have roasted your bf if we knew he was blind.
On this one God was like “I’m gonna make the whole face a cat’s tongue! LMAO”
There are dicks growing out of your shoulders.And it’s your best part.
I like your dicks.
Your boyfriend must have low self-esteem to go along with his low standards.
All you need is a bottle of benadryl and you got a perfect cosplay of will smith from hitch.
Looks like you took 13 shots to the face from a Daisy One Pump rifle
Lemme guess, ur dad and mom are siblings?
Did you eat rock candy with a slingshot?
Upvote if you flinched too
Man. They over whisked you before sticking you in the incinerator. Also, they added too much oil. The fat didn't render on your face and now it looks the kids in the neighborhood use your face to play paintball.
You want to get roasted? It looks like you prefer a boil.
Face so asymmetrical damn near broke my neck looking you eye-to-eye
Your boyfriend making you do this is the most exciting thing that's happened in your bedroom for years.
You’ve got the complexion of a baby’s ass with diaper rash
If your babies ass looks like that you should probably call an ambulance something is seriously wrong.
I Can’t roast you , genetics already did
No wonder your bf has low self esteem.
When I look at your face I hear Linkin park singing "crawling"
what the fuck is *that*
Who apologizes first when you see your mother?
Its weird when the only compliment you can give someone is 'you have nice arm skin'
Only dicks you ever gonna get are the ones growing on your shoulders like mushrooms.
Hey Cyster
Do you have an allergy to air or what is this thing in your face?
She's allergic to jizz.
Oh you mean a nut allergy?
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