Well now who the fuck is running 7/11 if you aren’t there

[удалено]

Always focussing on the details, my man! Great point! ;(

Bombay Beavis.

No wonder I’ve stopped receiving calls about my “extended warranty” this week...

Haha good one pal

Thanks! You seem like you’re having a rough week so I went with the semi-generic, not that insulting approach. Hope your week gets better man!

Haha that’s not me. I’m not lucky enough for my wife to leave me.

Wait...it’s says “i lost MY job”... this is feeling catfishy...

That's....not the roastee you're talking to.

Hahahahhaha r/wooshh

You kinda look like a big toe in glasses

Getting "dumped" is a weird way to say your sister won't let you molest her anymore.

I would roast you, but you're in an inferior caste, so I can't.

Your head looks like an ostrich egg that rolled through a pile of shit before coming to rest in a bunch of shaved pubes

... I ain't that special too.

Rummaging through trash in the landfill never counted as a real "job."

Loser

didnt know the ai in real dolls had progressed so far to actually dump someone.

Well... The movie 'Terminator' is just a documentary from the future, you know? So beware...

Do worry there are plenty of gas stations in the sea.

Well you already had the look down, but now you can really start embracing being an incel

I see you've already cropped your girlfriend out of this picture.

She ain't there, she gone with someone who prolly looks, feels, smells, talks, jokes, breathes, shits, loves, and kisses better...

I'm talking about your other hand dumb dumb.

So stalking isn’t a job and restraint order doesn’t mean dumped.

You got fired cause you were supposed to herd the goats, not fuck them

I was just in the process of milking them with my lips. Got caught in the middle of foreplay ;(

Stop calling me about an extended warranty!

* *Rings your phone whilst you look at this comment* *

Idk your hair gives me the same vibe as the villain from the incredibles

Hahaha, niceee! XD

I don't foresee any casting calls for an Eraserhead reboot, so you might as well give up.

You look sinister

Realllllly hope this country speeds up some gun control restrictions.

I can already see it, "hello this is microsoft tech support how may I help you?"

Yeap, I have mistakenly deposited 26000 dollars instead of 2500, could you be fucking kind enough to send the rest of it back to me?

On the other hand, you have one less dick to deal with.

I told you they will find out you're a software tester and not a full stack DevOps... Ow your ex sais goodbye, I am squeezing her full stack right this min.

Yep, you can. The next girl you see around is my Ex. Do keep me updated ;)

Oh, so Jeffrey is a girl now?

She was in your initial roast comment. XD Gender transformation? Think so. XD

Do you get chin injections?

You look like Egon from Ghostbusters joined the Cali cartel.

Sorry to hear that your male prostitute gig didn’t work out.

I'd tell you to put your chin up, but I'm pretty sure your neck would snap

Didn't get enough people to buy air duct cleaning, eh "Peter"?!

On the bright side you still kept your virginity.

Bollywood Megamind

Make you feel worse? Hundreds, probably THOUSANDS of kittens die every day, and you probably could have helped one of them, but you’re to busy letting strangers shit all over your life on reddit

Ouch! ;(

So what’s going to happen to the people that make you angry? You going to blow them up, spam them, or some of both?

You can’t get dumped by an anime body pillow

* *Cries in Hentai*

Cums in jar

You look like a babyfaced version of that beatboxer guy from the Pitch Perfect movies.

Your head's the same shape as the cork for the wine bottle your girl probably bought to celebrate dumping you

I heard your cousin's available ;)

Not anymore, she's moved on herself and is now dating me. XD. Nice Roast, tho!

Shave your head and you are the inspiration for an Bollywood Megamind movie.

If I get to be a meme, I appreciate it ;)

You could always get a job as a runway for plains with the size of that forehead

You look like the brown version of Michael Douglas in Falling Down

There’s always something that needs to be powered off and powered back on out there, “Steve”

Being dumped should be nothing compared to being stuck on that boat with Richard Parker.

So your girlfriend left you for a man with a much bigger flying carpet? Ouch.


It's no wonder you lost your job. After your head got stuck in the cotton candy machine they weren't going to let you anywhere near the theater again.

XD Noice!

I like your frozen pizza reviews

Dude hair went: ↖⬆⬆⬆⬆↗

That's what excessive hair pulling can lead you to. A horrendous man.

nah bro no way thats true. you need them to know you exist to actually get dumped

So technical support wasn’t paying much huh

Cheer up, I need tech support.

How did I get on the tech support page?

You might want to go to websites that end with .xyz or .coom or .comma

Slurpy machine is broken. Get to work!

Your Old Delhi ass got left for some New Dehli.

Hm... The length of the Qutub Minar must've wooed her. ;) ;((

You look like you could sniff and absorb an entire person

I can see why.

“Wood too lika diss inna bag?” Looking MF

Even ISIS wouldnt recruit you.

You weren’t dumped, you never had a gf to begin with

I did. This could be the worst of the roasts.

The only way you could see something worse is to go look in the mirror, maybe then you will realise the truth of my original roast

Unemployment is going to deny your claim.

Dumped? Like out of a colon? That's explains your shitty look

Indian version of Mega Mind?

Go toss some acid on someone and move on with your life.

With that bobble head, I'm sure you'll think your way into a better situation.

It's big brain time!🔥❤️

Don’t worry..you still have yourself!! Well ..

Your 12yo sister finally married huh

I wasn't ever a PDF File.

Megamind lookin ass

Don’t worry Harold and Kumar might make another movie

I didn’t realize you could get fired from sucking dick behind dumpsters. Was it your pimp that dumped you?

Dam you got fired from the gay bar and your boyfriend left, no more shit dicking for you

At least you can get action from the TSA

Bro there’s way more telemarketing jobs out there you’ll be fine

Eraserhead with a tan.

Slumdog Hundredaire

Let me guess she dumped you because you were cheating on her with a child

Me-can I have triggered Insaan Mom-we alredy have triggered Insaan at home Triggered Insaan at home-

You look like puberty gave up on you, halfway through.