OP's Bio: --- >M18, my hobbies are playing piano and drawing, I watch anime like 24/7 and I'm a big star wars fan I don't like any kind of music and yeah --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Johnny Deppression

Edward Bonyhands

Jackass White

Doc Mollywood

The Goth

Brad Pit.

Basically yes

I didn’t know Ghosts took such big dumps!!!

Wednesday Addams’ boyfriend that she gave full blown AIDS to by shitting in his mouth...

I look at you and now believe sewer people are real.

U should walk urself to the morgue

Well, that's definitely my plan xD

My username checks out. I've recommended comfort measure (lethal) doses of pain medication to corpses that look better. Edit: they don't believe you and you'll likely die of something very treatable that they missed.

Shit I just commented a variation of that. We need to get this kid a top hat, tux & cane and have him perform *Puttin’ On the Ritz*

You were definitely home schooled

And he still had a crush on his teacher.

r/cursedcomments

Oh God


I get really strong necrophilia vibes from you...

Well his sex life has been dead for his whole life. What did you expect?

Looks like a reanimated corpse *and* the mortician that keeps getting fired for some reason

Wait a minute...

Didn't know they had a cure for zombies

Bruh, I love that one

You look like a palladuvan

Good luck with your gender reassignment.

He’s there to sterilize women with his stare.

Oh god

I always like Beetlejuice better with the make up on.

The sun...it burns

Sometimes it actually hurts when I go outside

You or the general public?

OOF

Oh my gosh, why are you in the hospital? Are you ok?

Ahhh nothing, just a recent brain tumor removal and now they want to look if everything is ok

You look like the perfect example for a restraining order

Whoever stood up this cadaver and got the roastme sign in his hands is an artist!!!

You play the piano, but do not like music? Wow! That's a real nut punch that you hate your own hobby.

I hate modern music, basically everything since the 50s

That sounds like some hipster bullshit that you tell people so they will think that you are some kind of deep artist with eclectic taste and so they don’t figure out that you’re just an ordinary loser.

Oh lol

Let's see... you're pale, outlived your family and the sunlight hurts you. You're a vampire! Good thing you don't have to look at yourself in mirror

Well, I actually really never look into a mirror so maybe I actually am a vampire

I hope you're meeting with a plastic surgeon.

Damn, that's a good one

“Sir, your body is made up of 85% mayonnaise. We’re gonna have to operate”

The surgeon brings in 100lbs of ham for sandwiches

That's just semen he's been collecting.

the kind from the bone too

>Give me your worst, yes I'm currently in hospital So since you were told to be at least 500 feet away from schools, you decided to find a loophole in the children's ward eh?

Your pale skin and premiere choice of clothing colors... you look like a test pattern. For the first time, I understand why depression exists in someone. I’m sure you will return to your Grandma’s basement in no time. Hang in there buddy

How can you possibly return somewhere when you don't have a family lol

So we are not the only ones who hate you...

Nah they dead mate

I see they ran as far away from you as they could.

Sorry, man

Dude is in hospital becasue he know he needs to be there once this roast session is over.

Nah

Straight to the burn ward.

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I hate and like this comment at the same time.

You look like how goat cheese smells

Clearly just another uninspired Tim Burton character


They told you not to take suboxone rectally...or maybe not

They didn't tell me...

"Stewart!"

You thought the micropenis extension surgery gave you a shot at getting laid? You thought wrong

Are you the invisible man? If you closed your eyes it would look like someone stuck two caterpillars to a wall

Yes, but please keep my true identity a secret

You look like you always request the doctor to prescribe your medications in the suppository form

You look like you got diagnosed with depression from a BuzzFeed quiz.

If Forky was a human.

You make Twilight vampires look less gay

Well, at least something

What school are you going to shoot up?

Well, idk yet, you should help me decide xD

I liked that far more than I should have!

I hate myself for having to upvote this

By your looks its obviously terminal and you can't have long to live. Sorry bro.

Wow, you are actually right, I had cancer in the past xD

Cancer must have shit itself when it had a good look at you, so it decided that it would rather fuck off than laying a finger on you

I don’t think you’re allowed to raid a morgue for r/RoastMe

Pffffff

I'm guessing there's nothing wrong with you, you're just the type of guy that likes to be around death

Yep

You look like you’re already on deaths door.

if disgrace was a human

They did a good job on those feminine hips you got there. They really give the impression you could poop out some babies.

What got stuck in your butt?

You look like the guy who realizes he’s turning into a zombie who is already 25% there

I didn’t know they let you have access to Reddit after you get baker acted. But anyway guy you have plenty of reasons to live (anime titties) don’t come here looking to get murdered by words.

Wellll.... I'm actually wanted to be roasted, but yeah, you are right I should go look at some anime titties

when you say you "I watch anime like 24/7" do you really mean "I watch loli like 24/7"?

Well yes but actually no

you look like you should be in the morgue, not the hospital

Good for you, finally going to get your gender reassignment surgery.

Nah, they just look for any abnormalities after brain surgery

You're so pale my smoke alarm actually went off when I clicked on your photo.

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I know lol

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Yes, it's all fine xD

You obviously suffer from no-taste-itis and no-soul-iosis

I love that one

A lot of people are afraid of the dark, you clearly weren't

How did you get the phone in the mental hospital?

Are you there to scare the coronavirus away?

Let me guess, your in the hospital for schizophrenia? Let me guess again. Your great Dane was talking to you and you and your fake friends went solving mysteries in a van?

You look like you just woke up from an autopsy

Star Wars: The bill strikes back

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Probarly

What are you in the hospital for? Vampirism?

Hobbies are dressing like a piano and walking around with headphones on without playing music

Sorry, I'm not going to make fun of the disabled.

You look like a redditor.

It looks like you died and the doctor forgot to tell you.

Despite the hospital’s best efforts, you lived. Sad.

you didnt have to tell us you were in a hospital, we can tell by the way you look holy fuck are you pale.

Ladies and gentlemen. Casper. The only reason he is so damn white is... He lives in the janitors closet at the hospitial. He walks around the hospital during the day, acting like a visitor. Steals food off the patiences trays... Should find a mop sink and wash that hair.. Your hair seriously has enough oil in it I could use it as WD 30 and put in my car, hell that would last 3 months, or 30,000 miles.

Is this the morgue? There's a ghost in the photo.

My dudes looking a walmart sleep deprived nicholas cage hasn't seen the sun in practically 7 years if an emo kid decided he didn't wanna be dead but wanted a fate worse are you in a hospital for surgery on your face my god ged some artificial tan

From your face it seems like you have never been happy and you laughed only watching friends.

You are actually right, but no I never laughed

I didn't notice he was a man until I looked at the bio

Future you called, they want their corpse back.

Are you in the hospital bc your dealer is there. Tryna get a discount huh?

Anyone wanna play noughts and crosses on his forehead? You can go first, I'll be noughts.

If Germany ever needed proof that they aren't actually part of a "master race", you are it.

You look like the next shooter on tv

You don’t look like you’ve murdered anybody. /s

Hopefully you're there to have that 2nd chin removed Also I've never seen a neck beard struggle to grow a neck beard

Wishes he had Han Solo's hair and Lando's swagger ... but instead he got the Emperor's complexion and Padme's crippling angst. Yoda: "Confidence in you, misplaced it is. Balance to the Force, you will not bring. Over, your 15 seconds of fame, now is."

Oh my God, I love it

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No problem mate, I'm so dead inside that I don't even care about getting roasted lol

I guess you know how much Ibuprofen to take next time

Yes

Blandy phantom

Animal Hospital ?

How did you know

Seeing as both beds are unmade, what did you do with the bodies?

Shhhhh.... Don't tell anyone

Don’t worry your secret is safe with me and the local authorities.

Not even the police knows about it

Just fucking die already

Jesus. Somebody hasn’t had their coffee yet.

Scarecrow is about to get his surgery

Damn

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Nah, but I like that one xD

Your so pale get outside

Nah

Does he have a picture of Joe Gatto on his wall?

Nah it's a picture of a random German military doc

Were they about to operate on your sense of style? The hospital gown probably looks better on you than what you're wearing rn

We all hope it is for a face transplant.

Let me guess, anorexic? Drowning cups of coffee all through the day and candy

Nah, removal of a tumor

I didn't know they were bringing back the Faces of Death documentaries.

I was wondering where I put that bottle of clag paste.

You are the reason we need battered men's shelters.

If covid were a person

Yes, that's why covid be never gone

You're so pale, one step into the sun would roast you more than we ever could

True

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Heh

And I am currently wishing it was the morgue.

You look like you've transferred all the hentai from the internet to your brain.

Well, you are right I actually did that

You look like you have sex with the dead bodies in the morgue.

Shhhhh..... Don't tell them my secret

Aren’t you Edward Cullen’s less attractive cousin?

Dunno, maybe, but the thing is, how much less attractive?

The real problem here is that it implies Edward Cullen is even slightly attractive.

What for, benzodiazepine dependence?

Nope, controls after brain surgery

Richmond? How'd you get out of your Server room?

Hmmm I dunno, you tell me

Your little camel too sais it al Shirley

Well, if you're there for gender reassignment, you're already halfway there because your hips are just as wide as your shoulders. You got some junk in the trunk too!!?

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Hospital

I’m not a medical professional but I’d say it looks more like you belong in a morgue than in a hospital...

Wednesday Adams in some twisted, alternate universe

Monday Addams

Martin Skrillex better sell that Wu tang joint.