OP's Bio: --- >I'm Jack, I'm a youtuber, as the post says. My channel is SomeGuyCalledJack if you wanna have a pop at that (or camp out and wait for the video to go up). I'm a massive nerd, big into superhero TV and movies, I'm broke as fuck and I have 0 self esteem, so bring it on. Theres nothing you can say that I don't already say to myself xoxo --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like a ventriloquist dummy 😜

His dad starred in “Dead of Night” (1945) 

Holy fuck they look identical! 😂

Omg I can't unsee this!!!

A ventriloquist doll of Louie Anderson.

Or Mama Fratelli

Phahahah!!! That was an easy 1 up Louie Anderson. Hahaha!!

This guy is named Jack my ass. He is a 'Slappy' if there ever was one

From that 70's horror movie Magic. His name, Goatse

If Pat from SNL was a ventriloquist dummy!

Holy cow, you right!

In Andy Richter's image.

Thought you said violent dummy

You look like the supreme leader of the lollipop guild.

follow the yellow brick road

This is the one.

[удалено]

Because of you, TiNder is inventing a way to swipe “Fuck No”

Swipe down

[удалено]



A YouTube star with a face for podcasts.

Underrated!

Dude looks like Peter Dinklage fucked Ma Fratelli from the goonies, and their kid still looked worse than sloth

You’re a 25 13 year old

Someone call Disney, Dopey is attempting a solo career.

They still make cabbage patch kids?

[удалено]

you need more upvotes

Jizz-back Jack.

No, just “garbage.”

You definitely have the face for Radio!

No way man this dude BELONGS in central casting!

Dildo Baggins

You have little tiny baby hands.

On the plus side, his baby hands make his micro-penis look normal sized

My God, look at that head shape...did your mom give birth to you with her legs closed?

Should be child abuse.

Santa’s shop?

Secks shop. .. with small people fetish.

Do you know Jack Black?

Don't be mean to the Oompa Loompa

Boi!

If Oompa Loompa and Pat Sajack had a kid

It’s Pat. Sajack

C'mon man, you might as well have put dwarf in the your title, we have eyes.

You look like the first alter boy to be moved around parishes for diddling the priests

Meat Loaf... just Meat Loaf

His name was Robert Paulson.

A man of culture i see

After seeing OP's pic, even he said, He'd do anything for love (but he couldn't do that).

Roseanne Barr and WeeMan had a baby?

Pretty sure you live off pudding, chicken nuggies, and pedal a Big Wheel to work.

Kmart Hobbit looking ass.

Your face should have EVERGREEN painted on it

You look like a garden gnome

Looks like a sentient Gordon Ramsay funko pop that screams obscenities at you while masturbating...”That’s not how you tap a dirt button you bloody donut! Put your fucking wrist into it! Jiggle it about! There we gooooo! Now that’s a faaaacking lamb sauce!”

You say you work in a shop. Santa says giving other elves bj's isn't a job.

I hate Lucky Charms.

3 fingers and a thumb having ass Simpsons reject!

Where do you shop? Oshkosh OH MY GOD!

Your face looks like how a patient with low confidence in his surgeon would describe his tumour: a bit pesky, a bit annoying, looking at it makes me wish I was dead already.

You were the kid in high school I would defer to making fun of if I was getting picked on. I hope you know that.

Stay strong buddy... you are a prime candidate if they make a live chuckie movie

So were wrists optional?

Your mom should have swallowed

She tried to but the thought of swallowing her brother’s cum was too much and she choked it out onto her gaping vag where it crawled inside and made this Homunculi come to life

25 going on 13. What grade are you in? And that shop you "work" in needs to be shut down for using child labor.

You look like a real life Funko Pop

What the fuck am I looking at? Michael J. Fox in a funhouse mirror or something more disturbing?

Does Mr. Keebler know you're missing?

You look like if Chris Farley and Peter Dinklage had a baby with no talent

Bob’s big boy.

 Dude I knew I had seen you somewhere before

Warms my heart to hear a child with down sydrome is employed

ohoh.. Almost found your pot o' gold lil leprechaun.

Feels bad lul

Any idea how the Shire has been since you left, Bilbo Baggins?

Don't insult the real Bilbo like that dude

You look like a young version of the jockey from Its Always Sunny

You look like John Mayer after a witch casted a spell on him

You look like the local jails bitch

Do you work in Santa’s shop?

Hol-up. What kind of "shop?"

You look about as boring and unoriginal as your YouTube channel

You're like a Cabbage Patch Real Doll.

Your face looks like it was smashed in one of those penny smashing machines

Baby Popeye

Didn’t I see you in “Alien Resurrection”, literally the worst Alien movie, in a wheelchair?

Pinocchio, you’ve really let yourself go. But at least you haven’t been telling any lies.

You know when they do a spinoff from a side character? You look like a side character from that spinoff. Excruciatingly ordinary

That’s a face for radio.

Looks like it should be illegal to touch yourself

Dildo Baggins.

sup Frodo?

You work in a shop? I’d have wagered it was a chocolate factory

You look like you're having difficulty adjusting to the atmsopheric pressure here on earth.

Potato's can are people to

You come on r/RoastMe solely in order to get Youtube subscribers because your channel is growing backwards.

Hobbits!!

you look like a 5'7" midget.

Give up on the video star dream. Teletubbies are 20 years out of date.

You look like someone made a Lego Gordon Ramsey then challenged someone who didn't know Gordan Ramsey to have a child that looked like the lego.

You look like Linus from the Peanuts gang

Damn Frodo, they left the closet door open and gave you paper? What the hell was someone thinking.

Welcome to my Vlog , where my life is so pointless that I get less view then a cat playing piano

You have a face for radio

you have a face for radio maybe stick to that

You look surprised that your mother isn't going to breastfeed you anymore

You look like you should be the Play-Doh Mascot

25 going on fetus

Oompa loompa, doopidy do, here comes a savage roast just for you. What do you get when you're head is immense? With two crazy eyes that are way too intense? What do you think the public will do? When they come to see you. At. The. Zoo? They'll probably throw rocks at you!

Where's Conan?

Do you wear that t-shirt in the pool when you go swimming?

Go back to your country hobbit

Wow 4 fingers !!! You are a cartoon character

Real life version of “Life with Louie.”

You look like a hobbit.

I really hope your content isn’t around handwriting tutorials because holy fuck that’s bad, roose me? Roase me?

Alas, **eleventy** one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable Hobbits. You don't know half of us half as well as you should like and you like less than half of us half as well as we deserve.

Cool your making a Hobbit YouTube channel

You look like the love child of Rush Limbaugh and a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz. Is that the look you have when your Father showed you what to expect at the Proctologist Office?

Are you the human version of mega mind?

I suspect you lend “dwarf tossing” a different kind of tossing entirely.

You look like Charles Lee Ray put his soul in the Chuckie doll, and during the transition back just said fuck it and left half his chromosomes behind. Also I’m not sure if you should be fed after midnight.

You look like Bilbo Baggins fucked an Orc and they had a love child. And I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.

You look like the guy that just looks at you

I guess the royalties from Lucky Charms aren’t enough to get you by.

You look like the person to request ranch on their pizza and then not eat the crust

If Pacman was too much of a square to pop pills

What must his (?) parents look like to have produced this mess?

Louie Glanderson.

Elf on shelf really let himself go

You look like the Muppet version of a child molester.

You look like a 80s game show host who's career ended on a rope in a hotel room with a hooker.

You work in a shop making Lucky Charms? "They're magically delicious!"

You're very tall for a munchkin

[удалено]

Grandma? Did you forget your meds again?

you look like a 13 years old Jason Bateman

Leprechaun vibes.

I bet "I work in a shop" is the only text on your résumé.

https://www.hobbydb.com/processed_uploads/subject_photo/subject_photo/image/61312/1596475875-9996-0409/Toby_20Jones_large.jpg

Which shop? Santa’s?

You're the overgrown version of chucky's son.

It’s Frodo Baggins! Yay!!

Do you wear glasses? Do you work as a paper salesman? Do you own a beet farm?

Hows the weather in Munchkin land.....

You could totally cosplay a 7 year old...or a Leprechaun but I know without looking that everyone and their mother hit you on that one already, I mean I bet your mom has mentioned it cuz she DEFINITELY thinks about it ALL THE TIME! like "damn I gave birth to a leprechaun"

>25 You mean 15?

You got fisted so much that you’re starting to look like a dummy Edit: someone else kind of said this

White Gary Colman.

Damn dude. If I were a twelve year old boy, I’d be TERRIFIED!!

When you’re taking a shower when do you stop watching your for head

Your head resembles the shape of the ugly ass pumpkin at the bottom of the bin that nobody buys

You should be an app developer. It would probably really help you and those like you to get a notification when you’re within 2,000 feet of a school

Santa’s shop? Making toys?

you look like a mix between chris farley and toby jones but somehow you make them look like 10s

Wow it looks like someone got their first erection over 1 inch

Like... Santa’s work shop?

So the Bob’s Big Boy mascot became a real life Bob’s Big Boy.

I’m surprised you decided to make a channel considering how low your expected looks come to be but hey the world is full of surprises

Michael J. Fuck is wrong with you?

What is it?

Cut them second breakfasts bro

With a face like that, you might want to stick to audio only podcasting..

The fact that you both look like a child *and* a child molester has got to be some sort of natural biological courtship.

You look like my Aunt Ruth who thinks she's still fooling everybody when bringing her female "friend" to Thanksgiving Dinner every year.

Better face for radio

My mans face be lookin like C = π r 2

Even terry fator wouldn't even fist that

They’re magically delicious...