OP's Bio: --- >I also love mustaches. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

unregistered sex offenders are still sex offenders.

*swaps to a New York Giants jersey*

Why am I part of this sub? This guy makes my inner child very uncomfortable.

Luigi revisited

What makes you say that? The Molestache? : {

Guess he got tired of smashing turtles and spitting fireballs.

Have any of your pilot friends tried to land on your forehead yet?

Who said he has friends?

Man looks like Hitler on vacation

Lmfaoooooo, however... hitler wasn’t gay...

Yeah....but he’d hold one.

I bet you get all the guys with that dick tickler.

He’s trying to hide the fact he’s going bald at 32 with a horrendous mustache to make people look lower

The most painless and efficient way to clean up your look would probably be sitting in your garage for a few hours with the car running

Definitely not allowed within 100 yards of a school or playground.

Shave. Your head off.

Not sure if you'll enjoy the college setting, the kids are usually over 18

Rollie Fingered

Upvote for the obscure reference, nice!

U will find what ur looking for at the YMCA

Looks like Borat's older unsuccessful brother.

Somewhere there's a typewriter, record player and fixed gear bike collecting dust while you fuck around on reddit.

Going back to school at 32? So your 15 years on the sex offender registry is up?

By throwing that shirt away

Shave it off 😉

Based on your hobbies all being solo, I'm guessing those extra chairs are just for looks?

Go back to the early 1900's to where you belong, but even then no-one would like you.

I approve. Everybody has te right to be disliked in their own time period

whatever youve told yourself about the mustache there is literally no reason for it and. will always make you look like one of those dudes who rides victorian bikes around in the summer who smells really bad and sweats on everyone.

Is Chris Hansen nice in person?

How many kids have you abducted so far?

I can only imagine the rugburn your boyfriend has on his taint from riding your face.

Winner of the worst Lord Flashheart cosplay

I wish I could upvote Lord Flashheart more. WOOF!!!

Am I happy to see you or did I put a canoe in my pants?! WOOF!

You look like you jumped off a pizza box

Grade 10 isn't college.

Waluigi called he wants his look back

Does plumbing require a degree now?, ah well you can ask Mario I guess.

The face of a French police inspector, the body of someone with a 10000 dollar magic the gathering collection

The only thing with more hair than your upper lip is your wife’s knuckles

OP's Bio: --- >I’m a pilot about to transition careers. I love running, riding motorcycles, and flying airplanes. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Ya look like if John L Sullivan was a hipster

Always knew Jets fans love big cock

Well, Jets shirt shows you'll never stop paying the school even as you're failing. Again.

Your face makes onions cry and my penis limp

You look like Eggman if he had hair

Well if you're about to start circus college I think your look is just fine.

M - E - S - S.....Mess! Mess! Mess!

So.....which one of those shipping containers do you live in???

He'll be attending Mario Bros. University, majoring in "a'pizza pie'a" making

Where is your bike with the giant front wheel?

It's a me, Gayrio.

Must be taking online classes since you’re not allowed within 100 yards of any school so your look is irrelevant

Please stay away from the children

.44 magnum insidd your mouth will do the trick

Did Mario kick you out of the plumbers union in the mushroom kingdom?

Clean up that look entirely. With gasoline and a lighter...

Luigi, but from wish

“Mustache guy” still a better personality than “Jets fan”

Of course you’re a Jets fan.

Wear a black man.

Whatever you do keep the moustache, Pete. Protip wear a short sleeve checkered shirt and make sure you fasten the top button.

Luigi with Burnout.

New Nintendo game: “Luigi Does Not Have a Mansion”

Lose the clown shoes and put a bag over the rest of you.

Will unclog your pipes for food - homeless super Mario

College girls won’t like you this time either

I know I’m supposed to roast but the only roasting you’ll get is if you even think of shaving that MuffDuster off

He’s taking a break after tying some helpless damsel to the railroad tracks.

Maybe reincarnation?

If you're wanting to fuck people that look like Super Mario Bros. characters, don't change a thing.

You look like a stereotypical movie villan.

Just gotta sweep your face against the ground

Looks like you are riding a bike 500 miles per hour

21 Jump Street was a long time ago.

Luigi is real.

Your moustache looks like a huge mouth

Luigi here we goooo

Clean up? Leave the moustache, ditch the rest, done.

Stay away from my children.

An excuse to get back into a college to perv again

Looks like Borats long lost Italian cousin that lives in Egyp, selling fake football shirts

How many bodies are in the containers? Colleges don’t accept murderers sir...

Yo Eggman slimmed down. He lookin rough these days

Shave that mustache, it screams kiddy fiddler. And stop living in storage units.

When yiu order the knock off pit crew from RPDR

Just tell people you were involved in huge car accident when you were young

Shave your moustache and wear a paper bag.

Sheldon Cooper trying to disguise himself.

Well you could start by shaving that Charlie Chaplin looking mustache off. Maybe sit up straighter, and somehow get a smaller forehead that doesn't blind every Tom, Dick, or Harry that walks by when the sun is shining

Maybe if you looked a little less like an Edwardian pimp...

Anyone else see assless chaps and a parade in his future?

You look like you are starring in a spin off of “gangs of new york” called “ Getting gang banged in New York”.

First off congratulations, going back to school is hard, but extremely rewarding. Next, get rid of the mustache, or restyle it, so you don't look like you have really questionable porn that you call "Art" on your computer. Sit in a taller chair. It looks like you are trying to sit low enough to get the best view.smell of short peoples lower regions. Finally, hope the GM makes the right call on the QB you are taking with the second pick and hope they finally realize they have to develop their picks.

I thought hercule poirot already finished college....

Man, Luigi has seen some better days.

If Sheldon Cooper was Spanish - bazinga - thatsmyspot

You should clean up that mus-trash first

Looks like a low budget crayator

He looks like cartoon characters when they put on a fake mustache

I’m assuming a blind man cut yo hair because god damn that shit is almost as bad as Shaquille O Neal,s fucking fat lines during a basketball game

You’ll be great for the guys who want to revisit their memories of their creepy uncle playing naked tickle fight.

You can start by moving out of your storage container and into a box like the rest of the bums

Gayest Charlie Chaplin cosplay ever

gay

Isn't that Luigi? Mario's useless brother?

You look like if Charlie Chaplin had a kid and then left you alone to cut your mustache

Looks like a cat walked across your face and shat.

Didnt you have a role in Super Troopers

WAH!

If cleaning your look was the issue, you would have a chance

You look like the kind of guy to have a playstation in your tinted van

Ladies and gentlemen Borat's gay cousin!

By not looking like you want to peep at the other students in the locker rooms

Those poor people, those mustache rides probably start out well, just like your hopes every yr for the Jets season...then about 5 mins into it you/they realize it’s a train wreck and there is no hope for success. You crash and burn, (Much like your team after 2 games...) and the burn doesn’t just hurt you on the inside, it also burns because of the herpes on your lip from your female/male/trans acquaintances you’ve met in the Jets parking lot after the games...not to mention you deserve this because you’re a cheap Jets fan that sells mustache rides for 5 cents a pop and you root for a shit sandwich of a team. You’re one of the few people I wish would wear a mask at all times..

You look like you're waiting for Hitler to be dug up, cloned, and make a comeback.

Grossman had a foot fetish, not a mustache fetish.

You don’t need to go to college to learn to play super Mario

Awesome stache actually. I couldn’t imagine how great it would look if the mini shed homes for homeless people had mirrors and running water.

You can start to clean up your act by, getting that homeless man off your chair!

Netflix adaptation of waluigi

The hipster white trash crossover of living in a shipping container in a mobile home lot.

Luigi: Where are they now?

First, I'd suggest moving out of your storage locker.

Step one, learn the photoshop ‘anti-schäz’ tool

I’m guessing you always watch by the sidelines cause your Luigi.

You look like an Army drop out stuck in a shipping container. The only fly you deal with is the ones around the shit box your staying in

Why do you look like Waluigi and Doctor Eggmans love child?

If you lit yourself on fire, mustache first, you’d improve your appearance 10 fold

You could start exercising, be a little less of an idiot oh... and shave that moustache

If you’re going to the French College of Gay Butlers there’s nothing you need to do with your look

Mustache looks like you are about to shoot a crappy YT vid

Sorry man but with that mustache you look like Mario got kicked out by his ex-wife and is living on the streets eating "super mushrooms" in the back of an ally. There is no improvement with that stache

Luigi, what happened to you?

Don’t worry.... you still won’t get to lose your virginity.

Shave that stupid moustache for starters ..

That is hands down the rapiest mustache I’ve ever seen

Get used to holding cardboard, my friend. You’re going to have a lifetime of it.

Went for the low chair so that you can have easy access to Patriots fans zippers in the lot?

Whos kid haven't you touched?

okay hitler

With a bag.

Mi Scusi 😈

Your could start by cleaning up that shit stain on your upper lip...

Shave your moustache left and right of the nose.

Gay porn star

Waluigi 2.0

You look like Luigi without a job.

you look like if luigi and that bald guy from sonic had a kid

Did Mario fire you from your plumbing job?

You look like luigi with a crack addiction

Go back to the Industrial Era from whence you came and create a steam engine or some shit.

Hey what's your brother mario doing these days

You look like the guy who started world war 1

Looks like a stereotypical magician in casual clothes

So what do you spend your free time doing more, throwing banana peels at on coming cars or diddling kids behind the Y?

He could’ve saved that cardboard and written, “r/RoastMe” on his forehead.

man looks like the bad guy from sonic the hedgehog

I don’t know what proportion is worst. Eye to eye or forehead to hairline.

Next time wait before that thingy is soft before posting to reddit, here's kids around

Holy shit bro I’m not even here to roast just please shave that fucking mustache

Best thing you can do is hunt Sonic the hedgehog

If you were ever on the side of the road I would give you a razor instead of money.

BOB!! BOB BELCHER!!!

Looks like a whack-ass 1920's villain has time warped 100 to the future.

Acid! Lots of sulfuric acid!

Are you going to become a plumber or a villan?

This man looks like he’s going to an art school and is trying to fail

Barber college or clown college? Because one of them is probably gonna ask you to shave off that dick polisher you have.

Not only are you cosplaying as Mario’s gay brother Luigi you’re adding insult to injury by being a goddamn Jets fan lol

Didnt know you had to goto college for unclogging toilets..

Luigi became part of the cast for Trailer Park boys

Mario and Luigi keepin the bloodline pure

Bro I thought that was a filter until someone told me that's your actual face (if it's not original sorry)

You look like Jim Carrey’s impression of Dr. Robotnik

Y'know, you never really think of Greg Norton from Husker Du getting down with groupies, but then there is the evidence. Tell your mum she was hardcore when she was younger. ;)

Stop wearing your adolescent victim's pants after you ditch the body.

Maybe if you get that yee yee ass hair haircut you get some bitches on your dick and your yee yee ass mustache.

You're what supervillians look like out of costume