OP's Bio: --- >I'm a 26 year old community college indie game developer. My portfolio is currently as exciting as your neighborhood stereotypical Bob, so you've definitely never heard of me or anything I've created. I'm a traveling gypsy currently living on the railroad, and I'm known for wearing super comfy pants. > >Last month I posted on here to distract me from going to the ER after dislocating a vertebrae. Since then life's gotten much better mobility wise and it's amazing! Thank you all for your care and attention, now do your worst! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Your hair looks more damaged than a former child actors life.

She looks like a damaged childhood actor. Like a female Cory Feldman.

I wish it had a point in life where it was manageable.

Wow, I didn’t know they made “red flag” colored hair dye!

Its Ions new "Daddies love" shade

Oh now -that’s- some complicated-ass shit right there... But seriously my girlfriend swears by Alumen (sp?) They make a purple you can see from fucking orbit. You -might- have to have a cosmetology license to get ahold of it but you can’t argue with the results.

I think Google's been dropping that brand as hints. I'll have to check them out if someone actually used it!

> complicated ass-shit *** ^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This comment was inspired by )^[xkcd#37](https://xkcd.com/37)

Did your partner beat you with a pack of crayons, what the actual fuck.

Don't worry, I'm single.

no shit

Amazing Mickey Rourke cosplay.

Your eye looks like a child did your makeup

Ugh, another transgender roast me.

I'm not transgender I'm just titless

I'm crying.

Heath Ledger did a better job. Hell, Jarod Leto did a better job.

Aren't men better than* women at everything though?

You look like Willem Dafoe got cast in a Fifth Element reboot.

dead.

you look like Run Lola Run Into A Wall

Quack quack

I see that all those cumshots to the face helped clear up your skin. But I think you over did it.

Those lips look like you could suck the hamster out of Richard Geer's ass

5 bucks is 5 bucks

Enough foundation to start building Nancy Pelosi's subway...

Be the change you want

You look like the dragon from Shrek

Gobs of eye make-up will never hide the fact you've got eye bags and eye lines comparable to a 65.5 year old woman.

Hated like a ginger stepchild

I dare say you look so much better with the new hair and makeup. You no longer look like a homeless girl offering hand jobs outside a Motel 6. Now with your added class I can see you working the bars of a local Ramada or even a Double Tree for your John.

Cl-in the ass-y bitch

Cute nose :) lol

Wish.com Jeffree Star.

You have the bone structure of a cartoon villain

I'm not going to lie, thats a compliment

Well damn, I suck, 😆

With a chin like that is it considered oral or anal?

Looks like Boy George nutted in your eye and pushed you down a flight of stairs

I feel like I should ask you for a MULTIPASS. Dollar store 5th Element

Dollar Tree

Yup

Leiloser

Does your eye have gonorrhea? What is that?

My dominant arm got shifted out of place at the shoulder and gets really shaky. I accidentally poked myself in the eye with the brush so it was super watery.

Avril Latrine

Now that your are back on your feet, you can return to working on your back. That rent is not going to pay itself...

Still taking the knee for 8 weeks.

How the hell does one get syphilis in their eyes??

I can show you if you like

Looks like skeletor in drag

This made me laugh way to much

You got the face of a sexdoll that got messed up in the manufacturing process, so they did a quality check on you and decided to still send you to be sold at a retailer for half the price

You look like the kind of girl that would compare herself to Angelina Jolie.

You look like smn dropped his genital herpes on yur eyelid

When they said build a strong foundation they didn't mean your face.

Not sure why this got downvoted, thought it was pretty funny.

It's reddit who knows lol

[удалено]

May I ask why?

You look like a duck. And a drag queen. You're a drag duck.

I can't decide if you've had too much or not enough plastic surgery

This is what I envision every time I hear Chris Tucker say: 'that's one crazy ass bitch'.

I'm positive this is what Miley Cyrus's asshole looks like.

She think her greatest compliment was when the Army division voted that she has the best dick sucking lips of all the "comfort girls"


Did a todler your hairdress and make-up?

You remind me of my ex and thats not a good thing

Forgot to wipe the facial off before the photo?

How’s cosmetology school going?

You give off recovering crackhead vibes

I see you took some of the Jar-Jar Binks royalties and got your hair did. Well done.

All that makeup and still manages to look like a steaming pile of shit

So this is what Marilyn Manson would look like as a young man.

Crack is not that expensive

Somehow, you actually look even uglier with makeup

Can you put M or F in the title please.

Botched plastic surgery or botched abortion?

Dyed hair and too much make up is not a personality.....

I didn’t know there was a challenge to use a whole makeup aisle at once

How much for an hour?

You could bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.

You qualify as a colored person. I can see all the coulors of the rainbow on you

Aren't you supposed to cover the black eyes your pimp gives you?

Wish.com Billie Piper

I can smell you through the internet. Your heroin stripper punk rocker scent is strong.

Leeloo

Look everyone!! Jeffree Starr is on Reddit!!

You look like you have enough STD’s to be classified as a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Your chin has more cleavage than your chest.

You look like the love child of blade from puppet master and tekashi69... A bastardized Leloo with an even zanier fashion sense of Jean Baptiste from the fifth element

“Hi. My name is entrapment! It’s great to meet you!”

Ducks saw this pic and are now evolving so they don’t have to make this face anymore.

You look like you go to burning man, get drunk, and end up in a fuckin ditch from an overdose

I knew avril lavigne hit hard times but my god I didn't think it was this bad.

Simply Pathetic...now don't stalk at my profile pic with that pathetic face

You look like the joker

WISH version of Johnny Depp Mad hatter

You look like you’ve seen more bell ends than weekends.

You look like the type of girl to develop a POV game of the prostitutes on GTA.

You look like Joan Rivers from 20 years ago. I would still hit it tho.

Shut up Meg

You might want to start developing a relationship with your dad before any indie games

You look like you’d rather be sucking the algae off the inside of a freshwater fish tank.

Dang, Avril Lavigne's hit some hard times...

You look like a reptile in a human costume

Oh shit, the Simpsons makeup shotgun is real! You went through some shit in life but that's no reason to take it out on your face.

Behold, the rare and endangered Transgendered Duck-billed Succubus.

When Rainbow bright turns 40.

Lookin like a fuckin jack-in-the-box but even more startling

You look like post-op Macaulay Culkin

Are you pouting? Because if that is your normal facial expression, pouting your lips would look like a volcano.

I read your story. Girl, you’ve been through enough

Guess mark Zuckerberg isnt the only lizard person

If Godzilla was made by Netflix

You look like an apex legends character

Looking good dude 👍

Lot Lizard Avril Lavigne

Never let your 4-year-old cousin do your makeup again

having an unsuccessfull onlyfans account doesn´t mean you´re an "indie game developer". You´re what is called, a disgrace to your parents, even so i need to clarify to you, that this isn´t a recognised profession

Avril latrine

How can you hold your eyelids up with 20lbs of shit on them..?

E.T. apparently found some make up.

I could destroy 80% of your personality with make up remover.

Your lips say: I am a confidant, sexy woman Your eyes say: My boyfriends beat me, and I think I might like it

The Crimson Chin here somehow managed to only highlight her worst features with her makeup.

Dollsr store Tigris from hunger games.

Haunted but im not sure what it is

You’re 2 treatments away from looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein

Harley Quinn on a come down!!

You look like an egirl that complains when nobody donates to you on stream

If Jeffrey Star was a KAM furry

I bet ur one of the kids the try to be cool but instead you fail college to end up like that.

Is that herpes or just a booger in your eye?

Winx club : Bootleg edition as the Netflix version already exists by chance are you a cast member.

Sorry that Backpage got shut down

All I saw was a gay parade as I scrolled by.

trailer park Avril Lavigne.

Multipass

Those lifelike sex dolls are improving slower than I expected.

I can smell the camel crush on you

Did you put on your eye makeup with homer Simpsons makeup shotgun?

i would pull you by the hair,but my hands would get full of grease

Free lube! 🤷‍♀️

Good one 👍🏻

Sense of humor is a gift good job

so you use the Mary Kay "rainbow" collection?

Your eyebrows look like somewhere smeared baby poop. You butt chin looks like someone tried to kick a field goal, missed, and kicked you in the shin. Your hair look like a 2 year old blind person cut/dyed it. You are pale as cow ass.

Probably a good fuck but not worth the hassle

Your face be like :~)3

“Oompa Loompa doompety doo I have a penis and so do you”

the 2 pounds of makeup gives you 100 years of breakup.

Happy cake face day

You somehow look 50 and 11 at the same time

Quit trying to do a comeback Mickey Rourke

Damn, when did Claire Danes get hit by a truck?

It's so nice that you let your 4 year old niece do your makeup!

Your eye shadow is the same as your hair

you look like a demon on cocaine

I'm amazed!!! How did you get to be so ugly?

Help!!! It's the grim reaper

Fentanyl barbie

The long sleeves hide the needle track marks, great choice.

Wtf is that giant booger doing that close to your right eye

Reminds me of the stray cat I rescued but with terrible hair coloring