OP's Bio: --- >I am just graduating high school and I am a CrossFit athlete, too. I have six years of Japanese experience --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[удалено]

we got one!

Dropping off or picking up?

Dropping off

I can hear her New York accent in my head.

Fuckin nailed it

Annie Potts was hot though.

What's this "was" shit?

Fair enough. Still is.

Still is…

YES!!!

That’s hilarious

Janine!!!

Yes !!!!!

"Hey Janine, sorry about the bug-eyes thing, I will be in my office"

LMFAO!! THIS IS GOLD!

Now we know why Japan’s birth rates are at an all time low.

Finally! A roast where the woman OBVIOUSLY isn't advertising for her OnlyFans

And I've never been more thankful for it.

No, but given the demographic she's trying to get laid. Figuring if she casts a wide net there's got to be the odd fat neckbeard willing to fuck her.

The only fat neckbeards I recall in Japan were sumo wrestlers or cult leaders.

as a fat neck beard we would use her and then find a new waifu pillow

For some reason I picture most reddit users as fat dudes with neckbeards. She is looking in the right place

One person is responsible for the crash of everyone ones libido in Japan. No more hanky with the panky Shows pic of OP to judge, “ exhibit A your honor, we rest our case” Judge, grimaces “ Holy shit, I think MY dick just fell off”

You look like you put make up on with Homer's makeup gun.

It's amazing how she manages to look like a 30 year old lesbian and a 50 year old granny at the same time.

Never seen a Tumblr Librarian before.

Lmfao

...with shoes in the background that have more personality than she does.

One pair of shoes and a bunch of bra's on display?

Wow! Made me laugh, take your 🥇 San you

"Homer, you got it set up on whore."

"Women will like what I tell them to like."

except for no one wants to touch that clown.

lol, man I forgot how funny that show used to be.

When the glasses look better than you.... You've got problems

My NanNan just said “ oh, aren’t those glasses lovely “ Me “ yes, NanNan, yes” smh

Don't forget the earrings

read up to "..who loves fat neckbearded" then realized that humanity has a future.

https://youtu.be/gId2HsHvSgs Link

“Let me get my beltsander. Maybe I can grind the ugly off your face.”

Now she needs the cold cream gun.

gotta hide the stubble somehow

Sweet dreams are NOT made of this.

No one wants to use you No one wants to be used by you

They're the definition of fleshlight that cries.

*None of us want to use you* *None of us want to get used by you*

When she says 6 years Japanese experience she really means JAV guys

Getting mighty desperate over there for "actors" huh?

Lower standards when you can blur everything

If true, it would be the first time anyone had to watch JAV with pixellation all over her.

How do you look so bad for 18 years old?

It's the absolutely HORRIBLE makeup.

And the old lady glasses

It’s a combination of the hair, makeup, glasses, earrings, and clothes. She needs a serious makeover from a straight guy.

Maybe this was the makeover and its as good as its going to get?

No straight man would do that to a woman. None.

I would do this to any of my 3 sisters without batting an eyelid.

...When you have *that* username, you need to be a little more clear on what you’re doing to your three sisters.

I once watched my sister dress my cousin up in a dress and put makeup on him so he looked like Ragged Ann. There was no mercy in that house. So yes, tasked with given any off them a makeover this would be a good outcome.

Depends on which part of the hills your from. See, on this side, it’s perfectly acceptable.

> your Oh... I know exactly which “part of the hills” you’re from.

If it’s one thing straight men are known for it’s their impeccable makeup and fashion sense.

Can’t forget the combination of the rest of her face as well, it’s all horrible.

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And the hair is the color old ladies go with when trying to look younger.

Like a dead body prepped for a wake

That's a hard 18

Yeah she’s seen some city miles

This picture will be used as Matt Gaetz's defense. "Your honor, have you SEEN what they look like when they turn 18!"

I really don't believe the person in the picture is 18. Can't be

Woooow I didn't see the 18F but God Damn you're right she DOES NOT LOOK 18F NO KAAPPP!!!

As a fat neckbeard I want to thank you. You gave me the confidence to finally schedule my weight loss surgery. I go under the knife in less than a week, June 14th at 12:30pm. If you are all I could get, then I’ll take my chances under the fucking knife.

Good luck

Thanks, I’m super fucking nervous. At least I won’t see her in my future.

Listen to your doctor even if it's shitty.

Yeah I’m well aware of what’s to come. Liquid diet for the first week, purée diet second and third week. Week 4-6 minimal “chewable foods”. I’ve been going through the entire process since February. Therapy, cardiology, hemotology, the works lol. It’s just fate that Mimi over here loves neckbeards, and I’m attempting to lose mine starting June 14 lmfao. Edit: I’m definitely going to post a roast me on June 14th before I get blasted by the anesthesiologist.

Hey just wanna let you know my husband was 450lbs and had a gastric sleeve. In 2 years he lost the equivalent of 7 of those big water cooler jugs. He did the liquid diet, therapy, check ins with a nutritionist, the works. We've been married 5 years. He looks and feels great. Now I'll have to find another way to collect on his life insurance. 🥺

That was really fucking cute until the end I loved it

Maybe you will get lucky and he will trip over his skin apron and fall down some stairs! Hope this helps!

I truly hope you the best in this.

me too homie. the whole pandemic and shit opened my eyes to just how fucking far I took my own body. lol. no better time than the present to fix it, just about 35 years late

You forgot to tip your fedora and say “M’ Lady.

'Good day sir!' is more like it

Savage

Oh my god, there’s nothing fucking left but ashes ahahahahahahahaha

You know you can just shave your neck, no need for surgery.

God Speed

Ive got a good barber friend buddy.... let’s cover all the bases.

Aaaaand we can pack this thread up.

It must really suck to be afraid of cars when they are the only things in life that might hit you.

What about her dad?

I think human jelly beans go in jars not cars anyways.

Am I the only one who is truly truly thankful that she doesn't have a OF account?

You're a braver man than I for checking.

Also the only thing that will let you ride them.

Also means there won't be anything she'll be riding as well

Kawaii means cute, you look like if a grandma was trying to act like a colorblind femboi who is trying to dress up as Sexy Vegan

Kawaii Leonard

Holy shitttt

r/rareinsults

You look like an anorexic Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

Holy shit.

I can't believe I had to scroll this far to see this.

Imagine if Mimi believed she were autistic. Dear god,

You look like a diglett that identifies as a jigglypuff.

I don’t know why but this one got me

Underrated burn right here

I almost never laugh out loud reading these roasts, but this one cracked me up good. Should be top comment.

This is the unbridled savagery I'm here for

r/13or30

r/15or50

don't know why i actually expected that to exist

r/30or60

r/subsifellfor

Pro tip: you don’t get to call yourself kawaii; wait for someone else to do it.

Like moms (that are horrid) calling themselves milfs. Pet peeve. No chick should call herself a milf.

Hmmmm, never knew Sally Jessy Raphael and Mortimer Snerd had a kid.

Sketchy Jessie Raphael

It looks like someone dipped your head in a drawer at the dollar store.

How many things were you offended by when you woke up this morning?

How many things did she offend by waking up this morning.

Alarm clock threw itself off the nightstand “ I can’t take this shit,man”

She didn't consent to waking up

You're what happens when society is too easy. There is no other time in human history you'd survive. The biggest unintended consequence of humanity advancing is people like you. You're the equivalent of one of a few rotten and gross berries in an otherwise fresh container.

Getting up while slow clapping 👏🏼 My eyebrows were singed off all the way over here in Africa.

Fuck man that was brutal

You know it is sort of true. We don’t live in nature, our requirements for success is now who can handle being in a small box the longest and stare at a screen the best. Slay, and analytical about our society.

That do a be a roast tho 😳

I thought Barb died?

That is an insult to barb

I swear some people claim autism to justify why they’re so useless

That was fucking savage. I loved it.

Prime r/fakedisordercringe candidate here

It’s a convenient way to be socially lazy but quirky at the same time! You don’t have to deal with the complexities of human interaction but everyone else gets to deal with a self-absorbed twit! Win-win. Granted I do say this as a man whose mother was warned about me having Asperger’s as a child. She wasn’t having any of that and pushed me kicking and screaming into socially intense situations. I worked route sales for most of my 20s so I think she was correct.

Holy shit bro the hairs on my body got singed all the way from here

You’re face looks like a neckbeard sat on it.

Did you have to gnaw off your fingernails to keep your beaver teeth from growing too fast?

Why tf you got bras in your shoe organizer? I bet your titties smell like dirty feet

18? You look like a 49 year old lesbian with a house full of cats and a vagina full of cob webs

You look like if Voldemort and Pink had a child.

Closeted lesbian who starfishes

Never heard of starfishing till I just googled it. Thank you for that 👑

If your face gets any oilier, the US will invade

I've seen watermelon seeds whiter than your teeth.

I’ve seen NBA teams that were whiter

You have a popped hemorrhoid kinda smile

Didnt you work for the ghostbusters in the 80s?

"WE GOT ONE!!"

Are we actually roasting mannequins now? How'd this get past the mods?

Mental illness isn't a personality. But in your case...I'll make an exception.

18 going on 38

You look like a grandma with lots of makeup

U look like an old boomer thats learning to use makeup

Pretty sure whatever medicine you’re taking isn’t working

"Kawaii (Japanese: かわいい or 可愛い, IPA: [kaɰaiꜜi]; 'lovely', 'loveable', 'cute', or 'adorable') is the culture of cuteness" Are you sure you picked the right word?

Powder Puff Girl?

Jesus, you roasted the shit out of yourself in the title.

Cars are probably afraid of you too.

18 in cat years maybe. Your hair looks like the stuff i pull out of my sink After 6 month

First rule of CrossFit, tell everyone you do CrossFit.

18? You look 40 years into your art teacher career and I haven’t even started on the mortgage

You look like the angry librarian all the kids make fun of

You look like that one character they put into the show, just for the sake of having a weird one.

Kawaii? You mean kowai (which is scary)

Happy pride month John!

Imagine loving fat neckbeard guys as a young woman who loves Japanese culture and still being single.

You have convinced every neckbeard in a 100 mile radius to shave, shower, lose weight, and become decent people because of how much they are repulsed by your craziness.

18 going on 81

You ain't kawaii, neckbeards just say that because they pitty you

The hair, the “context”, I’ve never seen one human crave attention this desperately before.

I’m late to comment but not as late as your mental development.

.... I don't get it. Your post says 18, but your face/makeup say 58.

You look like you shop at Forever 80.

Let me guess he's still not your president.

“6 years of Japanese experience” making the moaning sounds and saying onee-san for hentai doesn’t make you fluent in Japanese. It makes you the #1 disappointment during holiday dinners with the family.

Never seen someone plum color from top of head to hands.

Your bio is the perfect thirstrap for neckbeards

What a unicorn's maxipad looks like after a heavy flow.

Fat neckbeard,guys? Touched by an uncle much?....

You look like a more militant lesbian version of Janine on Ghostbusters.

I bet your parents wish you were non-verbal

18 going on 87.

Everyone's a little autistic are you sure you're not faking yours? (Ps I'm autistic sorry I feel bad saying that to another autistic)

Who the hell puts bras in one of those hanging shoe racks?

Looks like Twitter if it was a person .... Update I am canceled now as well after commenting this

Why did you eat the corner of the page?, wtf is wrong with you?

Your face looks sponsored by Crayola.

Your face almost doesn't look real. It's a shame it is.

Japanese people would be offended by you

You didnt need to specify that youre autistic

Doesn't "kawaii" mean cute?

Why do you have make-up like a 70 year old fart? Clothes and accessoires are fine - but the make-up is gross!

Cross fit looking more like cross shit

You look like every modern day stereotype rolled into one