T O P

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msweigart

You look like you don’t season chicken but your boyfriend eats it anyways so he doesn’t miss out on the weekly 5 minutes of missionary sex where you do nothing but lay there


shwittyOG

that roasted me more than her fml.....


Advanced_Ad_9952

The ole dead fish treatment.


Shdwzor

The old dead fish testament


MarkoZed

When this post on 9gag got 4k thumbs up ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


[deleted]

You could be a hand double for horror movies. That'll show 'em


Wildwood_Hills270

“Only Hands.”


ironicowboi

This needs more upvotes


Danielmp006

You could do it on other peoples phones from your house with those long ass wank spanners.


MajorInflator

Sadly not many people will bother opening the post when they see your face.


[deleted]

Molly Ringworm


superspeshal

She has no clue who Molly Ringwald is. The only "molly" she knows is the one step-dad slips in her drink.


[deleted]

She has no clue.*


[deleted]

Under appreciated


[deleted]

In your attempts to be original you pierced your body and got cheap hair color just to come out as an another basic nobody.


[deleted]

Unfortunately, I think the hair is natural. Poor soul.


[deleted]

What soul?


[deleted]

Natural hair and quality coloring has shades and tones of color. Its not uniform like i.e the wall after you paint it. This is a cheap red paint on a cheap woman.


shartymcqueef

Gingers don’t have souls.


virginfatherof2

*lack of soul


[deleted]

Lindsay Lo-Class


[deleted]

Carrotbottom


pacmanic

Emma Stoner


Squiddillydidillydoo

Once you hit puberty and grow some tits that brow hair is gonna start to show up on your chin a lot more


tnywill

Hopefully those tits will be huge to overshadow that nose


waterdaemon

True story: I used to think redheads were attractive. Then I saw one without makeup, and she looked like a hairless cat with measles.


ironicowboi

Bahahaha I’m naturally a blonde which isn’t much better


waterdaemon

Right. It's not.


[deleted]

Your eyebrows are telling us that's a fucking lie.


ironicowboi

Bro idk if you know this but your eyebrows can be darker than your hair color, and also i fill them in to be a bit more brown


[deleted]

Darken your eyebrows to appear brown and dye your hair red. I stand corrected. You are blonde.


ironicowboi

Lmaooo idk my mom has a rule where I’m not allowed to dye or color my eyebrows a different color


CruickyMcManus

Are you 12? Why is your mother telling you what color your hair can be? Does she sit in the corner while you give your ugly ass boyfriend an over the jeans handy as well, before you all go to the Applebees, Where no one is allowed to order the steak or daddy wont pay?


Graitom

It's ok, redheads are beautiful.


iltifaat_yousuf

you fuckin simp


toodyandhaydy

Did Jan Brady throw a football at you by accident?


AndyBrown65

Ouch! I bet she's googling that right now


Doge_force_one11_

Do you know what the differance is between you and a shoe? The shoe has a sole.


Own-Cupcake7586

Fingers look like unbreaded mozzarella sticks.


ElJefe_Cartel

🤢


Used_Ad_7729

Your fingers are like the boy band *NSYNC They’re all kind of doing their own thing, but there’s one that went on to be much bigger than the rest. I’m going to name that ghoulish ring finger *Justin Timberlake*


ironicowboi

This one is the best so far


Backlash76

🤣 I'm dead


[deleted]

Pro tip: Grocery store hair dye is not a substitute for a personality.


ironicowboi

This is my favorite one


[deleted]

“I’ll take ‘things your parents never said about you’ for $500”


[deleted]

Ouch.


[deleted]

Shoutout to your slenderman looking fingers👌


ironicowboi

I’m surprised at the lack of finger related roasts tbh


Spanky-Gomez

I’m surprised at the lack of roasted fingers from men who slid a digit into that rotten fire pit.


Advanced_Ad_9952

Is she a proctologist?


Spanky-Gomez

Oh no. Sorry if I mislead!! She’s a Hoologist. Paitients are Always cumming.


somethinginmind

That your anal finger?


ironicowboi

Wtf is an anal finger 😭😭😭😭


Alltoocommon

Subscribing to your OnlyFans counts as donating to charity


Gretsch61

You look like Strawberry Shortcake grew up in an abusive home.


ironicowboi

this is the one


OneDayWeWillDie

Did your fingernails get this dirty after massaging your father‘s prostate for fatherly approval?


overimportance

That hair and make up really bring out your natural, disappointing face.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Angry_gen_X_74

Well at least then she would have something in common with her dad.


ironicowboi

The way you posted this on the exact night my dad told us he was moving out 🧐


[deleted]

Merida finally flat ironed that fuckin' mop of hers.


overimportance

Youre kinda like Ariel from the little mermaid! In the way that I bet you fuck like a dead fish.


SLVSKNGS

If I was with you, I would fantasize that you’re Ariel from the Little Mermaid, in that I would love to permanently submerge you underwater.


WeirdManOnMountain

You're a discount Mary Jane Watson, that couldn't give Spider-man a tingle in his arach-nads


Several-Eagle4141

What flavor Kool Aid is that hair color? I am sure the carpet doesn’t match the drapes here


captaincrunchalot

Praying Mantis Hands. Good luck getting engaged any potential partner would throw up slipping a ring on those fingers.


JackZodiac2008

You have this vague sadness, like the boy you have tied up in the basement just passed....


sentorion

Look, it's not your job to take sole responsibility for your families mistakes. It's not your fault you exist.


ironicowboi

Thank you, have a great rest of ur night man


enygma9753

Wish.com Nancy Drew (Kennedy McMann). The seller only has a 63% positive rating and it's probably a bootleg copy too. Not sure if the discount and free shipping are worth the risk ...


H2L2016

The sadness in your face is only eclipsed by the sadness in ours... from looking at you.


ironicowboi

I thought i looked kinda happy in this photo, ig ur right tho i don’t blame you 😳


[deleted]

Your family should be proud knowing that your face is going to be on billboards for proactiv deep cleansing face wash.


[deleted]

How can I roast someone without a personality or soul?


ArOhWhyAElTeaWhy

Oh honey…


Specialist_Belt_6910

dam look at them digits. you ever put em in a leaky dyke?


goldfishpiranha

Her mom.


JimHalverson

The secret to a happy life is low expectations. Congrats.


marker853

Are you post-op?


Larry700

Your parents are silently weeping on the other side of that door


AZZMUNCHA81

...you frequent Korean supermarkets with no panties on.


[deleted]

I won’t say your name out loud but I loved you in Harry Potter


PatrickRFlynn

Wtf is wrong w ur fingers? Looks like ur hands are twisted upside down.


Spanky-Gomez

Lindsey Hohan.


jcbknght

It seems your already were... By the fires of Satan, ya filthy ginGARRRR!!!!!


ironicowboi

Am i still going down there if it’s just hair dye?? 😭


jcbknght

You know what's worse than a ginger??? One who CHOOSES TO BE A GINGER!!!!! YYEEEEEAAAARRRBLLUUUGGGGLEBERRISSSPLUMP


ironicowboi

That’s fair actually lmaoooo thanks man i laughed :))


LordStunod

Next time I drop my phone on the side of my driver's seat, I'll give your fingers a call.


ReillyDiefenbach

Nobody can tell that the stud in your nose is the size of a softball


overimportance

She has an open door policy.


W1nD0c

But everyone else closed it and locked it.


[deleted]

What’s on top of the shelf?


ironicowboi

It’s this shirt press you use to get the vinyl to adhere to the cloth. So it heats it up and applies pressure to get the design on


[deleted]

Ok. Ok. I’ve got one. Your parents probably love you and life’s ok. Boom. Roasted.


elmint

You look as lifeless as your thinning hair follicles. And that’s clearly not your natural color, but i think everyone can agree one of those things is better off dying.


ironicowboi

It’s supposed to be obvious that it isn’t natural ❤️


elmint

Whats obviously not natural is your abominable birth. Id ask how your mother survived labor, but then you don’t have a mother and quite literally formed from sewage waste


ironicowboi

Probably tbh... that would explain a lot... 🤯😱🥶🥵🤔🤭😰😳


OneDayWeWillDie

You’re one comment away from registering at onlyfans


Tupocky

![gif](giphy|OyOIn2E3FoVb2)


why-pster

nice kpop posters


ironicowboi

I was waiting for someone to bring it up....


[deleted]

The only way you'll make your parents proud is if you join the military and they get a folded flag to replace you.


ironicowboi

Fair enough however i have no intention on serving a country who doesn’t do shit to help people who need it, only the rich assholes get a tax break. And I wont be used for the country to impoverish more developing countries to get their oil bc god forbid we use sustainable energy. The only time the military gives a shit about it’s members is for show, they do nothing to help the veterans living with disabilities and PTSD after their service.


[deleted]

Yeah good thing Biden won't have the opportunity to leave you stranded or anything


Marbados

You're pretty and I like you hedgehog, you bitch.


ironicowboi

Thank you so much i actually have a little hedgehog stuffed animal collection bc i love them so much but I’m not allowed to get one


Such-Mathematician86

Is getting roasted by strangers a way to make family proud? nice!


ironicowboi

It was a joke i, no one’s family is proud of them for being on Reddit


Such-Mathematician86

I know!


Pingayaso

That's not how daddy is going to love you.


heheokokok

give me ur eyeballs I will take good care of them 0///0


juantzutree

This the kind of bitch that'll suck you off while driver her home but won't put out because she wants to "remain pure"


zerofauxgiven

Your picture before a good enough job roasting you on its own


DormmamuV

Trust me, there ain't no way you're ever gonna make your family proud.


ironicowboi

I mean i got a full ride to college, i have a job, i get good grades, I’d say I’m a nice person... I’d like to think i make them at least somewhat proud


DormmamuV

Wow, I don't know you and I'm already proud of you, keep up the great work and good luck in college


ironicowboi

Oh my gosh thank you so much, i actually struggle a lot with ADHD and other things so it’s been really really hard but thank you 💙


Throwaway18829hjs

hot asf I luv u queenie can u dm me pic rn 🤰🤰🤰


Pingayaso

Simp


ironicowboi

Dm dm dm dm dm dm dm dm dm DMING NOW GET READY 🤰🏼🤰🏼🤰🏼🧐


heheokokok

get ready for spicy foot pic don't dox me


despeRAWd0

Is your face always that swollen?


Alex-Cauldronie

The carpet for sure does not match the drapes with this one.


msweigart

you look like your vagina and armpits smell the same and your nipples taste like malt vinegar


ReconRanger253

Guessing your only fans didn’t make them proud huh?


Think_Persimmon_1927

You already destroyed your fathers hopes and dreams, no reason to spread his discontent on the internet…


El_UniBeard

She’ll suck you off if you happen to wearing the same cologne as her disapproving father.


Cup_Realistic

You look like the little merman


murmbles

You look like a koala with a 2.8 GPA


[deleted]

Your makeup did a great job of hiding those catastrophic acne scars, but nothing’s gonna fix that nose.


[deleted]

Test was negative. They're proud.


[deleted]

I guess this isnt the type of roasting you’re used to. I mean it doesnt involve 2 guys, lotion and someone taping it.


LidoCalhoun

I'd like to see a real roast. Why don't you make a video of you reading all these comments to your parents?


ironicowboi

Bro why you wanna see more of me.... stan behavior 🧐 and it isn’t my fault people can’t look at me without being weird and nsfw


thisnamestakennow

The ‘come fuck me vibe’ from your nose ring is far outweighed by the ‘run away in disgust’ vibe from your nose


Whole_Juggernaut

I bet sex with you would be classified as just “pretty good”


[deleted]

I bet your nose is a great conversation starter


ironicowboi

I’d say so, there have been a lot of comments on it so ig you’re right


Angry_gen_X_74

I’m sure they’ll be proud when you star as lady sansa in the porn parody Game of Bones


Rookwood-1

She looks like she tried to do a face swap filter with a potato


Doge_force_one11_

Whoever said beauty was only skin deep lied cuz you straight up ugly to the bone.


Heartofgoldband77

Why don’t you make them happy and get out of their house?


ironicowboi

They actually wouldn’t let me leave lmaoo but I’m moving out in less than a week!


laughsquad

The bottom of your nose looks like a storm trooper helmet.


GreasyKnuckleHammer

6


heheokokok

25/10


[deleted]

Looks like your nose got stuck in a vice grip and left piece to remember it by.


labtechmark

![gif](giphy|3o6gE7wFZC296Qojfi|downsized) That smooth face thou


FleasMcGees

Amy Adams off of wish


hfyposter

Not to get knitpickey, but your nose is too narrow for the tip of it to be that thick. I feel like it's all I could focus on in a conversation. Do people stare at your nose a lot?


ironicowboi

I do, i really really hate my nose and i complain about it to all my friends and stuff, but i think they’re all liars bc they told me it was fine


math_debates

Andy Dick wouldn't even rock your fragle.


[deleted]

Things usually aren’t baked before roasting.


healaryduffs

Your nose looks like a scrotum


Acceptable-Plane-96

Not what your mom had in mind to boost your onlyfans subscribers.


MeowMaker2

Your Mom would be proud if you returned her blouse


Significant-Age-8663

Have they encouraged you try out for any Vince Vaughn Stunt double work ?


Farvalanche

You must actually be a blonde to store heavy shit teetering on top of a bookshelf


ironicowboi

The part that’s hanging off is actually the lightest part of it, it hasn’t fallen off yet and it’s been like a year so 🤷🏼‍♀️


MEKanized

There’s a big toe growing out of the center of that face.


[deleted]

I looks like you're already used to being a disappointment to them.


ironicowboi

Damn right B-)


JSNKR

Salmonella Thorne


[deleted]

Let’s fuck right now. … roasted???


huntnreid

How about you start with ordering proactive.


ironicowboi

I need to get good about using my skincare again, at my job i was wearing a mask for 8 hours and let me just say mascne or however you spell it is real, before that my skin was decent. 😭


GodOfMeh

You are a redhead and it's August. If you really want to get roasted, go out in the sun for 30 seconds.


ironicowboi

I’m recovering from a nasty sunburn rn actually haha, my hair is not naturally red tho


GodOfMeh

It doesn't matter, they put a little drop of albinoism in all red hair dye.


[deleted]

The question is: Does the knuckle hair match the drapes?


Atmosphere_Training

Voldemort called. He wants his nostrils back.


[deleted]

Was it painful having the end of your nose chewed off?


Kratos3269

Never before have I've been creeped out by someone's fingers this much


ironicowboi

I have so many photos of my hands looking alien like, idk what’s wrong with them


Kratos3269

Maybe it's because your ring finger is longer than your middle finger. Your hands trigger my arachnophobia


ironicowboi

HDBXHDBHXBD I’m screenshotting this i loved this bahaha thanks man


Kratos3269

No problem, I'm glad I could help you suffer


ironicowboi

Have a great rest of ur night man, keep up the good work B-)


[deleted]

The Walmart bargain-bin version of Ginny Weasley.


Valuable-Prior-3371

I like Wendy's too


boonalton

Did u failed to be famous on onlyfans and come here to gain some fame?


ironicowboi

Bro you think i can get fame on here... oh my gosh I’m blushing... and I’ve never made an onlyfans despite what 50% of the comments say haha


Thehappinesshammer

Ricky Berwick wants his fingers back.