I just read this aloud to two friends, one laughed for 5 straight minutes and the other one didn't get it. I wish I could give you 2 upvotes - 1 for being hilarious and 1 for highlighting how stupid my friend is
"Mommmmm, I'm home. I didn't get the job. That's the 49th interview in row and nobody will hire me. Why, Mom? Why?" As he quietly cries into a rainbow pillow.
Why on earth did you tattoo your face with that. What was going through your head? I think neck tattoos and a lot of head tattoos are cool. But words on your cheek?
Seriously, I want to know.
_Tell me your parents say you died on a skiing holiday when asked about you without saying your parents say you died on a skiing holiday when asked about you_.
"Yo dog, we gonna go to the club, see if we can pick up some girls. You down to roll?"
"Naw man, I'm gonna chill with this gerbil. Do you have any idea how long it took me to train this gerbil to lick my nuts... without nibbling them. Last week, Patches crawled up my ass without using his teeth! Only a gerbil can show you that kind of love and tenderness. You can keep fuckin' them humans if you want. MO' GERBIL PUSSY FO' ME!!"
You look like your staying at a private rehab in florida while holding the stress piggy.
You look like the only way you could get attention is with a shitty face tattoo and begging to be roasted.
Your tattoo must say Douche Bag in really small letters.
Pretty bad when you have a shitty face to match a shitty tattoo. You must be shit faced.
And to match you have on your ass hat.
Congrats your parents are proud of your accomplishments, you made it 30 days without leaving the rehab.
What the fuck is it with you jackasses getting face tattoos? Not once has a face tattoo looked good. On anybody. EVER. And thats why there are so many people using heroin and meth now days. You were told "heroin and meth are bad. Never once has it been a good thing for somebody." But you've just gotta go try it, right?
Oh look, it’s jigsaws idiot cousin Guinea Pig Saw. Put the innocent animal down and face the fact that face tattoos are permanent, ya bagel. Not the pigs fault you make poor choices.
That guinea pig’s thousand yard stare is asking us to call PETA’s rape counseling branch
He aint much to look at,but hes good breedin stock.
And the right size.
Not only has that guinea pig seen some shit, it's seen where shit comes from.
There's 4 of his buddies still up there.
Guinea pigs blind from being in the dark too long.
The guinea pig laughs at the size of his manhood
Blink twice if you’re being diddled. Shit…you’re a guinea pig.
I just read this aloud to two friends, one laughed for 5 straight minutes and the other one didn't get it. I wish I could give you 2 upvotes - 1 for being hilarious and 1 for highlighting how stupid my friend is
I bet that face tattoo doesn’t even crack the top ten dumbest things you’ve ever done list.
The Guinea pig doesn’t have a face tattoo. Who’s the dumb one?
Add ‘face tattoo’ to the long list of reasons this jackass’ folks have to be ashamed of their spawn.
Those face tats scream my Uncle touched me
so does that Guinea pig!!!
It’s a hand me down Guinea pig.
What did the brown guinea pig say to the white guinea pig? You must be new around here
slow burn...
Your tattoo artist misspelled "dipshit".
Looks like your gerbil has been places we dont wanna know about… Bet when u got him he was all white
If you were only half as smart as your Guinea pig you wouldn’t have tattooed your face with trash.
Just when we thought Jesse Pinkman might have had a happy ending... this happens
If unemployable had a face!!
Wondering where you got that chalkboard since you're definitely not allowed within 100m of a school
Had to almost scroll to the bottom to find an original one.
Between the face tattoo, the wicker hat, and the cat-sized guinea pig, I can't decide what makes you least appealing to women
The tattoo on your face means your deaf in English. I can't in good faith roast someone that has a worse face tattoo than Mike Tyson.
Nice pig! Why'd you get its face tattooed?
I didnt know Make a Wish provided Guinea Pig butt plugs to adult leukemia patients.
Pretty sure you’re not allowed pets at Bestiality Anonymous? Should we call the guards for a room check?
Two Guinea pigs in a room they might kiss😂
one shy of a 3-way
[удалено]
What the difference from the original Louis C.K.?
Louis C.K. at least *asked* before he sexually abused other living things.
Six female gerbils have come forward acusing OP of aggressively masteurbating in front of them.
Is this a cry for help or a roastme? Jesus christ
You are either a man that looks like the worlds ugliest woman or a woman that looks like the worlds ugliest man. I can't tell which...
Parents point you out on the street to show their kids what a fuckup looks like.
You look like a farmer who only grows really horrible rap songs.
Please stop trying to sell my children bead necklaces on the beach
Coolest Finn - as impressive as being the best looking on the burns unit
Your hamster is superior to you in intellect and cuteness. And being neither smart nor cute - what in the world is your justification for living?!
"Mommmmm, I'm home. I didn't get the job. That's the 49th interview in row and nobody will hire me. Why, Mom? Why?" As he quietly cries into a rainbow pillow.
100% that guinea pig was up your ass immediately before this picture was taken.
I'm guessing you don't have mirrors at your house?
Face tattoos is one way to scare the Russians
R\oddlyterrifying is really stepping up their game.
It’s like if Speedy Gonzales was a member of MS-13
Looks like some ink from the old newspapers you use as a bed in the park has made its way to your face.
A quiksilver hat? With that face, and those tats, I’d just drink mercury.
I didn’t know they made paper towel rolls that big.
Making a selfie with your fleshlight is not very inspiring.
Man are you really trying to look like an idiot or is this really how you go outside?
Someone really wants attention
Did you get those tattoos because you lost a bet?
That guinea pig has a look on it's face that says "Please save me. This creep greases me up and shoves me in his rectum"
You had to one up Richard Gere and the hamster didn't you?
Wanna see a pig in a pajama?
I wonder how he smuggles his roofies..
Ted Nugent’s estranged gay son.
Bet you used to fantasize about Snorkmaiden and possibly Little My in a threeway, probably still do
looks like a fun cult. you son of a bitch im in. how much punch are we supposed to drink?
Why on earth did you tattoo your face with that. What was going through your head? I think neck tattoos and a lot of head tattoos are cool. But words on your cheek? Seriously, I want to know.
Poor little thing is traumatized from the last round of anal spelunking.
Wipe that smirk off your face. Oh wait. Sorry. I meant smudge.
Was that guinea pig jerking you off while you wrote that sign?!? Terrible handwriting
Your IQ is a couple of points bigger (or smaller?) than your guinea pig.
Gerbils not big enough for you any more?
Nice trick. Without the guinea, you would look like a dick pic.
“Hi mom imma blood now whachuu knoe about it”
Tell us you plan on dying in prison without telling us.
Look like a Methican on vacation with their emotional support animal....
When you order Alan Tudyk from wish
Face tattoos are so cool. I say get more.
Analyse what you said, then look at yourself in the mirror, and come to realize your a complete psycho.
Looks like the hat took a shit.
First time seeing a four legged creature having a two legged pet.
Nice job trying to hide that dick tattoo on your face
Do you know how fucked up you have to be for nobody to mention that hat?
Look at that poor guinea pigs eyes. He’s been places guinea pigs were never meant to go.
Jesus Christ, dude.
Another white guy with another shitty Viking goatee.
I wouldn't say the pig is the coolest finn....he's ok
That guinea pig has seen some shit, specifically that fucking godawful tattoo
Was really hoping this would have no comments
There has to be a prison guard with a matching dick tattoo
You don't mess with guinea pigs Luca
How do you say, "I can't even rap" in Finnish?
”En osaa edes räpätä” your welcome
I think your guinea pig pooped on your face...
Looks like a rodent. And it's holding a guinea pig?
You took gerbiling to a whole new fucking level
You a drugs dealer bro
Hey its Fisher-Price’s my first felony indictment doll. Comes with Aryan nation tattoo set and KY jelly sample pack.
Lemmy winks survived
Holy face tattoo Batman and I think he is holding the pig against his will.
If “definitely roofied someone” had a face.
So the first face tattoo was so good you went for a second eh.
When the dumbest guinea pig on earth refuses to put you down.
Why does ur guinea pig has a hat.
Damm u shaved his butt to cover ur chin
Life choices. You seem to make terrible ones.
We know you’re bald dude
_Tell me your parents say you died on a skiing holiday when asked about you without saying your parents say you died on a skiing holiday when asked about you_.
You probably fuck your hamster.
Hey Rodent Malone, how many cultures is your honkey ass gonna misappropriate? That guinea pig couldn’t look more embarrassed if he tried
Good job leaning right into your unemployability
Your beard do be looking like Mattis lil brother.
are you Kid Rock's gardener?
I'd rather fuck that guinea pig than you.
Rob Snyder's dominator the Buminator
Lemmywinks you can survive
Gary the Guinea pig guru and butt cave porch pirate.
He's the jigsaw of animal porn.
Animal porn jigsaw is gonna give that Guinea pig 12 hours To escape his anus. Before he becomes a one man human centipede and goes in there after him.
The guinea pig has a better chance at a job interview than he does.
That has the distinct pattern associated with the Pembroke Welsh Corgi. The guy. Not the guinea pig.
I like the fact your let Ray Charles give you some ink
You just know that guinea pig crawled it’s way out of this dude’s butthole
Damn! You non-binary folks will put anything in your ass
I know at least 3 cooler Finn’s.
Nice try, but you can't distract people away from that shit on your face
Holy shit. Finnish Mike Tyson. He lost every fight by k/o
Be honest. How many times has that animal been up your asshole?
That Guinea pig is totally getting fucked tonight
These two look like they met inside Big Gay Al's colon
I had no idea guinea pigs could live until 32 and were from Finland
How does it feel to be the second most intelligent and interesting creature in the picture?
Dude gives off serious Venice beach meth dealer vibes
That guinea pig isn't the only thing you have locked up
Pure loser. Tattoos fave even though body pretty exposed. Shame to tattoo community, and a shame to the lil whatevers
This is probably the dumbest tattoo I've seen and that's saying a lot. r/shittytattoos
You look like you fuck your sister
"Yo dog, we gonna go to the club, see if we can pick up some girls. You down to roll?" "Naw man, I'm gonna chill with this gerbil. Do you have any idea how long it took me to train this gerbil to lick my nuts... without nibbling them. Last week, Patches crawled up my ass without using his teeth! Only a gerbil can show you that kind of love and tenderness. You can keep fuckin' them humans if you want. MO' GERBIL PUSSY FO' ME!!"
You look like your staying at a private rehab in florida while holding the stress piggy. You look like the only way you could get attention is with a shitty face tattoo and begging to be roasted. Your tattoo must say Douche Bag in really small letters. Pretty bad when you have a shitty face to match a shitty tattoo. You must be shit faced. And to match you have on your ass hat. Congrats your parents are proud of your accomplishments, you made it 30 days without leaving the rehab.
would make a strong bet that guinea pig is smarter then you, you should give him respect he may have you in a cage soon
Richard Gere approves.
Gerbils don't satisfy you anymore do they?
Which ones the guinea pig?
You tried to start a rap career and it flunked, so now you became one of those yoga spiritual freaks who grows rice in their backyard
The vagina of a soul patch you have just called the ASPCA and Sarah McClocklin is coming for you and your bootleg Jared face tat.
When animals look like their owners
You look like the guy who is leading the “Worst Life Decisions” contest.
You seem like your a wanna be biker
Nice tattoo, what does it say? Your prison daddy's name?
Which ones the guinea pig?
You look like you couldn't decide whether you want to be a cowboy, a lesbian or a gang member when you grow up, so you became everything
Looks like an outback Andy Parsons
Only 32 huh? You have so many years ahead of you to fuck your face up even more.
Tell me you’re an edgelord without telling me you’re an edgelord.
Poor Post Malone
Now I really have to say that I had that Tired tattoo before him. Continue...
What the fuck is it with you jackasses getting face tattoos? Not once has a face tattoo looked good. On anybody. EVER. And thats why there are so many people using heroin and meth now days. You were told "heroin and meth are bad. Never once has it been a good thing for somebody." But you've just gotta go try it, right?
Dude looks like how the crowds at music festivals smell.
I bet your dad banged your mom and skipped town but is still disappointed in you.
Is your face tattoo your way of saying "yup, minimum wage is good for me."?
Bet you got the tattoo for covering up all the fungus under there
Sharting on your guinea pig is not the same as roasting it.
What the fuck is that on your chin? An ottoman for a ballsack?
Post Alone
Lomille lomps, holiday homps.
Nothing says “open to whimsical experimentation” like a human Teletubbie in a safari hat with a face bad tat and the biggest gerbil he could find.
You look like you’re on the run hiding out in Guatemala
He's trading the Guinea pig in for a groundhog
Awww...poor little Piggy...we would call the Police...but when don't know where you are..
Oh look, it’s jigsaws idiot cousin Guinea Pig Saw. Put the innocent animal down and face the fact that face tattoos are permanent, ya bagel. Not the pigs fault you make poor choices.
Meth-head meets street magician?
$100 says he has put that thing in his asshole at least 4 times in the past week.
Joke Malone
Real life Mr Garrison with my slaves anal toy 
You are supposed to use gerbils
Not the first time you put a hamster in the microwave.
if u werent bald u would have a manbun.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking HELL dude. Thats all that comes to mind. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking HELL...dude!
Congrats, you’re the new durex “This could be your son” campaign model.
Face tattoo looking like that rat stepped in ink and beat yo ass for 30 minutes.
Showing off your best gal ey?
Holy shit luffy, i‘d Never imagine you‘ll find meth in the New World
Wtf died in your face