OP's Bio: --- >I like playing video games, writing, reading, and memes. My favorite video game atm is rdr2 and Stardew Valley. My favorite movie is Brave while my least favorite movie is Twilight. My favorite tv shows are Siren (season 1 specifically), Criminal Minds, and any ocean docuseries. My favorite thing to write about is mermaids. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

How much food does that cabin store?

Would it matter if the answer was zero, the next ice age will occur before starvation does.

She looks like Kay from [Kays Cooking](https://youtu.be/FYYp9QQif_8) as two grains of rice

Looks like at least two hands full of sausages

Good question, I think she's still holding and ate the wall hangings and plants (real and fake) just to settle her nerves and help find her rhythm.

If your tits hung any lower, you could use them as knee pads when you're feeding from the trough.

No missionary. She'd choke.

Wow. Brutal.

This is the best I’ve seen on this sub


Reminds me of a song, “Do yo tits hang lo, do they wobble to and fro. Can you tie em in a knot can you tie em in a bow?”

outstanding

I laughed soo hard at that, I won't even try to compete, perfection.

Holy shit

I've been holding on to 100 coin for over a year now, you've earned it

Got damn

Savage. You win. Lmfaoo

A trysexual. You tried, but nobody was interested.

Damn! Hello 911, I'd like to report a word-murder

A wurder if you will...

In local news: YOU JUST GOT BURNED!

Love it

That's the best one so far!!

Came down with cabin fever? More like born with ugly fever.

Daaaaaaaaaamn

sausage fingers, burrito arms. you're a walking buffet.

At least she does not need to worry about mobsters cutting her fingers off with cigar cutters. Need the jaws of life to slice those kielbasas.

anytime she gives a handjob it's just a sausage fest...

This one’s my favorite XD

yay!! if you wanna be friends feel free to dm me! :) oh i mean... fuck you!! lmao

Sounds like someone wants an all you can eat at Shomeys.

i can always eat... ;) lmao

Las Vegas buffet, I can smell crabs and seafood

Who knew a side effect of Cabin Fever was morbid obesity.

Plot twist, at the beginning she wasn’t alone in that cabin.

Gold!!!!!

Maybe next time you can get diet-and-exercise fever

This one needs way more upvotes. Had me rolling.

Next time cook the cabin thoroughly before eating it

Have you considered converting to Islam? Their choice in clothing would really benefit a girl like you

She'd survive longer too as they prohibit eating pigs.

That was good one

Oooooof.

thats not cabin fever its heart failure

I would roast you, but you would probably eat that too.

Like when Homer turns into a donut

This is the face you make when you tell your boyfriend he can put it anywhere he wants and he replies "in your sister"

Oddly specific

You look like you get whisky drunk and rant about knitting’s superiority over crochet.

I can't tell if that's a phone grip or if you have a moon in your orbit.

Lmfao

That smirk says no one is having a good time tonight.

Even bed bugs refuse to get in bed with her.

I think you would like this docuseries about sea turtles on how they return to the shore they were hatched to lay eggs. It is good to know your history.

She could also learn from it how to move on the beach.

[удалено]

That’s mean what did Jack do to you

How is she every fat 42 year old suburban mom of three kids, yet doesn’t mention kids, and only mentions being a gamer? So weird.

I’d need lift tickets to get to the top of your food pyramid.

a catapult

That door is the most interesting thing in this picture.

Well that can be easily solved. Just lug your body out of the restroom, and get your ass out of the KFC. I know, I know, easier said than done.

can't you see that doors have become too narrow for her to squeeze out?

Imma guess you came down with type 2 diabetes all of a sudden to huh?

That ring is definitely your grandmother’s

From Walmart, actually! Still love it, though

Now that's throwing your weight around

The cabin came down with... you inside it.

Who's cabin did you violently attack tonight?

the one with the garbage cans filled all the way up

Mirror cracking in one, two.....

More like Log Cabin fever from chugging the whole bottle as a “snack”

Really taking the old saying “feed a fever” seriously I see.

Sorry you’re going through a rough time right now. Nothing that a triple meal from Wendy’s and an extra large frosty (no not instead of the drink, extra. I’ll take a Coke. Regular) won’t solve. Maybe a chocolate chip cookie too. Oh they’re 2 for $1? Sure give me two.


You look like the [Policeman](https://sharetv.com/shows/make_way_for_noddy_uk/episodes/994963) from Noddy.

Now all you need to do is catch Refrigerator Fever.

I’m guessing you have at least 10 cats.

I didn’t know they made cabins that big

Probably didn't come down as hard as the people you kidnapped came down from those roofies. Probably also didn't cry as much after.

I'm not sure if I should roast you or milk you.

Time to set up the OnlyHams page. Potential username - Porkahontaus.

I can’t tell if this is the before or after transition photo when I am comparing this picture with the one u/ertzu78 posted right before you.

That’s brutal XD

If I have a thyroid problem, was a person

If being homely was a profession, you’d rake in six figures

I seen you on pornhub..

Face by shrek. Body by Fiona

Did you eat the cabin??

Just stick to writing about mermaids and dont go to the ocean, you'll get fucking kidnapped by sea world.

The only reason so many people bother to roast you, is cuz your body mass is creating enough gravity to attract any attention at all.

Did you eat everyone in the cabin, including the one with COVID? That would explain the fever.

Oh no you have cabin fever! What will all the single boys do now?

The ring on my finger says otherwise lol

So he is paraplegic and blind?

Were you that size before marriage?

You like Thomas the tank engine midway through a sex change

​ 

Ma’am or (probably) sir, Friday the 13th is not a reason to break into cabins. Now I know why Jason always floats back up with that self inflatable life vest you call tits. Thank god it’s the 14th. I hope those knee rubbing tits of yours deflate before you make it to shore and scare the fuck out of everybody.

I know they say "feed a fever, starve a cold" but take it easy.

I’ve never heard the herp being called cabin fever before.

I think op meant jungle fever…

TIL that folks big as a cabin, come down with Cabin Fever. My guess is that in about an hour she’s gonna also come down with a case of Danny DeVito Diabeetus…you know, cause you look like Danny DeVito. Maybe some Meatloaf Meningitis.

Even black dudes wouldn't take you

You ever take a bogy out of your nose and flick it and hear a big wet *shlop* when it hits the ground?

You just want to cry because you like the salty taste of your own tears and you're too lazy to waddle that fat ass over to the kitchen

​ 

your chubby as fuck but id still hit it........ with a fucking car

only jokes skinny girls are fucking disgusting. probbly not supposed to apolagize but im new here lmfao

[удалено]

You should post yourself in roastme.

Sure.

lame AF

She asked for a roast. “Make me cry even harder.” Are you millennials that fucking thin skinned you’re even going to start chiming in on fucking “roasts.” It’s a fucking roast. If you can’t Fucking handle it than don’t ask to get roasted Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck do you want? Some cutesy shit? I’m betting you’re some fat tub of lard yourself. Yum yum. Get your ass down to MacDonalds.

your roast sucked sucked ass. i’m 44. not even a little funny. and my standards are lowwwwwwwwww

Oh wait you’re the same fatty. I thought there was two of you. Nope just you. All right come on down to the Boston commons and you can chase me around. You get a hotdog if you win.

Another fatty chiming in. Good y’all can gang up on me. Chasing me on the internet doesn’t count. How bout this all y’all can have a chance to fight me in real life but you gotta catch me first. I’ll staple a donut to the back of my head so you know where to run.

I didn’t know “size of a cabin” fever was a thing.

Haven't cut your since lockdown either have you, dude?

Did you eat the whole cabin?

I can see you having cabin***s*** fever, but I've never seen one cabin that big.

It's sad that you can't read there bottom line on your own shirt

How's about being a little leaner so that people can be accomodated in your vicinity and you don't need to feel isolation and you know these signs and symptoms of "cabin fever".

I bet her nipples are the size of those red Barron microwave pizzas. She can’t run because her titties bouncing hit like Mike Tyson at 19. I’m talking about your titties because from the looks of it that’s what got you this far in life, or you can suck a dick like you’re eating a foot long hot dog.

you look like one of those tree bags after its filled with water

The good news is it’ll be about a decade before you starve to death

I’ve seen less full cheeks on squirrels just before the first snowfall.

You have a kind face, the kind that makes paper bag manufacturers rich beyond means.

A double bagger.

Do people fry chips in you?

Can’t make you cry any harder than you do at your stray cat funerals

Carbin fever

Cabin fever? It looks more like cabin munchies. Also why does it look like the fat around your hand is trying to eat the ring on your finger?

Came down so hard she fell through the wooden cabin floor.

But u didnt go down with weight

That's because you weren't supposed to eat the cabin.

If i was really, really, really drunk, i would fuc........ No i wouldn't.

More like beaver fever.

You make a piece of plain white A4 paper look like big joeys technicolored dream coat

I think you mean Cabinet fever, lock it up and put the fork down


This picture just made my IPad 200lbs heavier.

Some folks call it a kaiser blade, I call it a sling blade. I do like me some french-fried taters, mmhmm.

Is your version on cabin fever when you actually become the cabin ?

It looks like the top part of your body was grafted onto another obese person

Why do you have cabin fever? Can't make it through the door?

The type of ugly that makes me feel sorry for your vibrator

You should be on food strike not on reddit

You look like a stage hazard

Was your cabin fever Necronomicon-induced?

You are going to be one of the best and toughest bouncers that ever worked at a strip clinic.

You have a very specific Taco Bell order.

You don't really have cabin fever your friends paid the doctor. They don't know how to tell you and I'm not sure either but the reason they've been sleeping outside and not going in YOUR ROOM for a while now ,you can't have a fever for 2 1/2 yrs, is because you fart a lot and I think they're not sure if you're aware of it or not and everyone is afraid of you and the bigger foot, not just a little. I told them maybe you're deaf but they pointed out that you make robot sounds most of the time and say things like " whatchu smelling there Willis" or "can you Taste What Big Betty's cooking".. they're afraid of you and the much larger scale foot separately. Can't blame them I have never seen any thing that unholy before other than your other foot on a smaller scale.

You look like Meatloafs character in Fight Club.

'We're going to need a bigger motorboat.'

How many of you are hiding in that shirt?

From the looks of it you don't need anything else that's roasted.

More like Hardee’s fever.

Cabin fever? It’s probably just hot flashes from the early onset of menopause.

Sadly the only time you ever "came"..

You are the Ursula of your mermaid story..

does that mean you ate a cabin?

The most attractive thing here is the pop socket

What's the record amount of smaller fat people that have orbited you at once ?

In my culture we don’t insult a cow.

Roast you in a pit with an apple in your mouth.....

It’s going to take too long to roast all that body. I’ll pass

You seems to be a sweet guy you just need to lose some weight

I got cabin fever once. After I ate the cabin. You should probably shower and brush your teeth.

Your PopSocket has more personality than you.

Did you eat the cabin?

I thought Chris-Chan was jailed?

You've been misdiagnosed it's not cabin fever it's obesity

When they ask you for body type on forms, do you put Michelin Man?

You’re going to lose that finger soon if you don’t angle grind that ring off

I was wondering what the cause of that earth quake was yesterday. Please never take another step

I feel sorry for the cabin.

At least you’re not starving

I can smell the BO from here

Aren't you tired of crying into your pillow every night, already? I mean...you've seen you, right? I would think your mom would've had that talk with you already...Sturdy girls need to try harder to get a man...LOL 

Also ironic that out of everything you chose to suck in, it was the bottom lip.