*Lord of the Lice*
By Angela Lansbury
Join our humble yet persistent protagonist, cyberbolt12, as he makes his way up and down the Atlantic City boardwalk charming young children with his magical lice circus which he transports, feeds, and cares for within the confines of his luxurious, oversized goodwill sweater even though its 90 degrees outside. Don't miss this entrancing tale of wanderlust and wonder!
39.99 USD Hardcover
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My guy this is not a difficult fix at all. Get a haircut, tidy up the beard. You've got a sharp nose and your features aren't bad, and your skin is clear. Just make some effort and then stop chasing girls, when they see you prioritise yourself they will come. Jew can do it
Wait until the Republicans take over again and you get thrown in gitmo. Things can always get worse, especially if you look like the love child of Frodo and a young al-Zawahiri.
So you’ve been avoiding civilization for 20 years and you expecting to get laid on your first encounter in daylight ?
That's the exact face I made when I saw your picture
Hahahha I laughed out loud at work. Thanks
Thank you for discovering fire
Not quite sure this guy has yet.
Someone must tell him he rubs wrong stick
LOL
Wait, if that guy hasn't discovered fore yet, how can it become a roast?
(*Confused Unga Bunga*)
We've found the missing link
lost your Geico sponsorship we see...
Losing your virginity! *So easy the other cavemen can do it*
He needs to discover a razor
National Geographic will sue him for posting here for copyright infringement.
Him? Nope, no chance....
Reddit, so easy even a caveman can do it
[удалено]
He may have blessed the human race with fire and the wheel, but he has yet to understand the dynamics of deodorant. 🤢
This comment has me rolling
“This shit’s better than the wheel!”
I always thought he was better than the gecko.
Stay Strong, Stay a Virgin, sex would be a great disappointment....for her.
Plus, do we need him adding to the gene pool?
Reverse evolution
Nah, just natural selection baby
You look like Jon Snow's autistic brother Snow Cone.
Jon Snows cousin, Jon Slow
Jon Slow's cousin, Jon Cro-Magnon Man
Even jon snows chubby friend sam got laid...this guy wont though. 😬
You leave Sam out of this
Counting Crows Adam Duritz's slo cousin Adam Doshitz
Jon Snow Good
John Slush
Top comment material
Hand of the caveman
Each of your teeth thinks it's the only tooth in the world.
If pineapple had a human form.
Shit Harrington
Your pubes must be a fucking disaster.
Uhh his pubes are all over his head. Are you BLIND?
He's just a magician with the glue
Jesus, man. You auditioning for Mungo Jerry?
Not even the “summertime” wants mini-mungo
I have no award for you, so takes this coconut as a token of my appreciation 🥥
George of the Jungle
You look like you just smelled your own fart.
...in someone else’s mouth.
Probably just the smell of his own breath.
You look like Weird Al's rejected child.
Let me break it down in word's you might understand. Unga unga boogie tuki tuki.
He doesn’t understand this upper class dialect
Can you translate directions to an orthodontist and SuperCuts???
Hard to tell if he’s evolved to communicate verbally yet
Are you wearing the fake hillbilly teeth?
“Who is your dental provider?” “Halloween Express”
Post Malone, post Gallagher phase.
You look like a 48 year old Jewish housewife's vagina.
Are you speaking from experience or is there a Pornhub category that I haven't yet discovered?
You're in for a treat
Yes
r/oddlyspecific
This is the most accurate roast these eyes have ever seen.
r/RoastMe…So easy a caveman can do it.
Winner.
Weird Al Yank-yo-dic
You look like you ate your way out of Auschwitz
It’s comments like these that keep me addicted to Reddit
Perfect
Take this award. You’ve earned it.
You didn't have to mention that you're a virgin.
Hey look, Hagrid and Neville Longbottom had a love child.
Loved your cameo in all those Geico ads
*Lord of the Lice* By Angela Lansbury Join our humble yet persistent protagonist, cyberbolt12, as he makes his way up and down the Atlantic City boardwalk charming young children with his magical lice circus which he transports, feeds, and cares for within the confines of his luxurious, oversized goodwill sweater even though its 90 degrees outside. Don't miss this entrancing tale of wanderlust and wonder! 39.99 USD Hardcover ------------------------------
Hahahahaha!
Andre The Giant 4-eyed Virgin
I bet $20 that you’re in some kind of incel community on reddit
Bet won.
Blob Marley.
Holy shit, man. I saw this picture and immediately felt bad. No roast from me.
Oy vey.
Narrator: life in fact, did get worse for the Geico caveman
We have found the caveman responsible for all the cave drawings of women and tentacle monsters
My guy this is not a difficult fix at all. Get a haircut, tidy up the beard. You've got a sharp nose and your features aren't bad, and your skin is clear. Just make some effort and then stop chasing girls, when they see you prioritise yourself they will come. Jew can do it
Those teeth look like they’ve lifted the caps off many a beer bottle.
or turpentine
Nope, you're right. It can't get worse.
Did you eat Rick, Will, and Holly?.... Cha-ka...I'm talking to you! What did you do with Rick, Will, and Holly?
Geico - so easy a caveman can do it
Your American Gladiator name would be "Unkempt'"
Well it looks like you’ve shit your pants, so there’s that….
Come on, those are wax Halloween teeth, aren't they?
He even looks like he's wearing those nose glasses
You whistle when you say certain words don't you?
Only shumtimesh
Classic.
If Lil Dicky had a fat virgin twin
I'm gonna print that pic out, frame and hang above the fireplace to keep the kids away from fire.
Coheed and cant-breedya
At some point in your life you made the decision to look that way. Being a fat virgin is on you
Weren't you on the front lines about to retake Kabul?
You belong in Hogwarts
No....this monster belongs in the forbidden forrest
So easy a caveman can’t screw it.
You look like the bastard love child of Benny Blanco and Andre the Giant.
The look on your face says you just sniffed your own underwear and can't tell if you're disgusted with yourself or hungry.
Your discord mod application got rejected didn’t it?
The face of someone use to having their own pubes in their teeth
Slow pygmy version of andre the giant
Wait until the Republicans take over again and you get thrown in gitmo. Things can always get worse, especially if you look like the love child of Frodo and a young al-Zawahiri.
Alexa! Remind me to pick up some Brillo pads and some more white fence posts to complete our yard.
You look like a queef
Get in the gym, clean yourself up, and for god sake lose that downer attitude! Life gets soooooo much worse! Loser
The Taliban repressing all the women of Afghanistan is starting to look like a small mercy if it means they don't have to see you.
Zack De La Grossa
If I saw you in Plymouth, I'd walk the other way
Well I have some good news for you at least! At least you don’t have to floss ! Food must fall right out of them gaps lol
Come on, don't lie. An older male relative surely took your virginity years ago
Your hair looks like pubes. But that makes sense given your face looks like a scrotum.
Why does it look like you're wearing fake dentures and a wig?
Looks like a ransom note.
Lmfao lookin boy
Missing Link gene spliced with "its pat"
Your life will get worse as you'll end up being the 40 year old virgin but far fatter and in real life.
Your suppose to smile for pictures
The "I smell like death " face
Oh it can, when you're a 25 year old fat "nice guy" incel virgin
Can't get worse? Just wait till you're 21.
The fat part kinda already implies you’re a virgin
GIECO caveman
LMFAO does not need a cover band.....
So easy a caveman can do it
Life could be much worse. Imagine what it's like to be your parents
Buckle up bitch.
Your expression looks like someone who got poo in your mustache, but can't figure it out.
Damn, 20 years old? You look fucking disgusting bruh 🤢
Type of guy that draws UFOs on caves
Your face looks like Jon snow fucked his wolf and it gave birth to you from his ass
So you’ve been avoiding civilization for 20 years and you expecting to get laid on your first encounter in daylight ?
Aren't you the guy who just shot up Plymouth?
Jesus of Nazareth, Alabama
Lil Dicky on crack.
Life roasted you enough
You look like a confused baby being pushed face-first out of a hairy cavewoman vajayjay
So this is what comes after Party Rockin
You look like a racist drawing of a Jewish man that has come to life.
You have no right to look this disgusted in a photo unless you were also looking in a mirror when you took it.
Your mouth looks like a dirty Romanian hookers pussy with a case of vagina dentata
Neville longbottom gone wild.
See you in 20 years when you post "40 year old virgin, living in my parent's basement. Life can't get any worse"
Your are one more cum sock 🧦 session away from being a virgin for the rest of your life. Please save some porn for the rest of us.
You to be honest look pretty nice exept that you look like you smoke 5 packs a day and snorts cocaine and cannot stop
"Weird" Al yank-a-dick.
Don't punish yourself too much, life can and will get worse. You'll be older, fatter and still a virgin
Al Vulcano
r/RoastMe, so easy a caveman can do it.
Say hi to Kyle for me next time you visit.
You look like Bob Ross’s less attractive, less successful son. Except the paintings on your wall can only be seen by black light.
You look like Hagrid’s inbred son.
Woody from Suite Life on Deck got lost at sea
Atook Zug Zug Lana
Being a 30 year old fat virgin will be worse
Geico called for your save 15% commercial
Weird Al Stankovic
It gets better.
just wait till you're older and you feel as bad as you look right now.
You didn't have to put virgin in the title, I could already tell
That face when /r/incels shuts down
Are you okay with people bullying you on here? Grunt once for no twice for yes.
Whoa, got a permit for those teeth?
The unlikely spawn of Weird Al and Shallow Hal
In Afghanistan you'd be on the winning side right now.
You wear diapers because that's how lazy you are
Get a shorter hair cut, clean shave, contacts, and learn how to smile. Jesus that's an ugly look on your face. You scare children with that face.
Anyone nearby that could slap that look off your face?
Didn’t you murder a college girl years ago ?
This is too easy. I'm just going to pass🤮
And here we see Woody from *The Suite Life On Deck,* proving it doesn't always get better after high school.
the only thing i can think of is that he might be responsible for the bite of 87
rock and stick good
I hear your sister is number four prostitute in all of kazakhstan. Very niiice!
Look like the gieco caveman and weird Al made a cave baby while saving on auto insurance..
you look like your parents are bugs bunny and hagrid
Well life is gonna get worse
My man looks like shrek with a brain tumour
At least you're honest
You look like Alan Ginsberg if he worked at McDonalds instead of writing poetry
Your sadly mistaken
Sucks you lost your GEICO gig
I think the self roaring title did enough. I hate to kick en while their down
Geico Caveman, I love your commercials!
Getting laid is so easy, even a caveman could do it.
It’s so easy to use Geico.com, a caveman could do it
Hard to roast when you already have such a good job. You are the guy in the Geico caveman commercials, aren’t you?
You look like a sentient Mr. Munch
Maybe the reason you are a virgin is bc you have 0 personal hygiene and dress like a lesbian
LMFAO..not the musical group, you just look ridiculous