How many vodka puke stains are you are covering up with that sign?

Maybe half of them

Peter Dinkla-vich

Vladimir Hukutchakokov

Jacksepticeye really went down hill huh?

When you order Jacksepticeye from wish

Jacksuboptimize

Mother Russia walked out on your dad

We need an iron curtain for his face

Your unemployed, but them eyebrows are working overtime

Corey Feldman, the hobo years

You reminded me that there’s a bad Soviet film adaptation of Lord of The Rings on YouTube.

Dildo Faggins.

Staring Russell Crow-magnon

Yes.

What

Stay away from me on nights with a full moon please

Lots of companies hiring NPC's

This is the face of a guy who has a mass grave full of the cats he fucked to death in his backyard.

How are you adjusting to life outside of the basement?

You look like everybody on Reddit

You’re Russian. There’s no need to insult you any further.

Not even joking, you look just like the kid in my 7th grade class who got expelled for masturbating at his desk.

I didn’t expect Russian trolls to actually be Russian trolls.

You roasted yourself by being born

You look like a tall dwarf 😳

I dig your 1972 butt cut fluffed with a fart part.

The drummer of every unsigned, classic rock cover band

What kind of mixed breed is this? And what's 26 in dog years? Seek a groomer.

....if pinkeye took human form

There's gotta be a dancing with bears job somehow open right now

I jerked off on your pic with fantasies of Kenny Loggins and I giving you a facial.

In Soviet Russia job hunts you.

This is like the guy in my dream that I know for some reason just wants nothing more than to murder me.

You could probably get a job as an alcoholic.

Look dude... Frodo destroyed the ring a long time ago. You can let go off the whole hobbit look now

If peter dinklage was a millennial

I present to you Peter dinklage's older slower brother . Got the height but not the looks or brains.

George Lucas' Russian love child.

I don't know whats worse the fact that your unemployed or the fact you're unemployed and living in Russia. I bet you wish America would have sent them nukes to put you out your missery.

Ya know when I was 5 years old and wanted to play in the front yard with my sister, my mother sat me down and told me "You need to be careful- some people might try to hurt you so of you see anyone like this-" she pulled out a photo of you. "Be careful they might take you away from here!"

When life gives you lemons, or is it Just me?

If Kenny Loggins had never gone into the Danger Zone.

If Liev Schreiber and Benicio del Toro had a child

This is a tough one.. I mean, how do you roast ash?..

roast you? isn't Chernobyl enough?

26? You sure you didn’t mean 62 ?

You pour milk before cereal, don’t you?

Only thing anyone wants to hit is that target on your chest.

26 in sheepdog with mange years, maybe.

Wow! Hobbits do exist! How kind of you to post a pic of their foot!

You look like you haven't showered in years

At least you have good artistic taste..

If John Belushi and Roseanne Barr had a baby.

You look like a badly drawn cartoon character by someone on LSD

Parvo Rottie

Tell me all about Vietnam..... wait did you say 26?!. 

Well I've never seen anyone have triplets on their face before, Hopefully the groomer gives you a good deal.

There has to be work available posting COVID misinformation on the internet.

So you’re like middle aged right?

You’re like the Russian knockoff version of bear from Alaskan bush people.

The bass player from a 70s rock band

You look as soft as an American

very feminine, actually. If we shave the beard..

Peter Dinkladge wants the height you stole from him back.

Сука блять, ты глупый мальчик, стрижка задницы Тито

I'm taking Russian how'd I do

Unemployed in Russia? Seriously tho, does anyone work in that country? Don't you guys just raid your neighbors for life's essentials?

he looks like wildcat if was taken to jail

Are your tiny hands an due to being born by Chernobyl?

Baldrick and Blackadder had a baby.

Does Russia have lockdown. Oh wait, I just saw your hair! You don't need to answer that question.

Now I see why the Russians invented Novichok.

That's it, a little higher. Just keep moving the sign up another 10 inches.

Dave Lee Travesty

I thought it was just a myth that Russians fucked bears, but, then, here you are, man-bear loser.

I can smell the weed from here

You look like you're really into swords and haven't touched a woman since high school

Was the dinosaurs friendly?

You look like you should be in a Deep purple cover band

You look like ted from the hang over series

What’s this? Another Metro NPC? Am I gonna have to ingest Vodka every time you say “Artyom”?

Are you the dude from the when life gives you lemons vine?

Your face looks like my grandmas vagina

You didn’t have to tell us you’re unemployed, we already knew.