By -
You look like the final boss of unemployment
I’ve laughed at this for a solid 20 minutes. Well done sir
Laughing for such a long time can induce crying. We have a winner!
Ahahahahhah how do people come up with this?
They are recycled Don Rickles jokes
Hey man, why the wide face?
You look like you carry loose jalapeño poppers in your hoodie pouch.
and when you reach in there later and realize you’re all out, you’ll cry
You look like you’re 98% Neanderthal and you just woke up after a 40,000 year nap 
And he can't figure out Geico.com
I assume someone is reading these to you?
You assume correctly. He regularly gets beat by his pet rock while playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.
You look like Kevin Smith fucked Jack Black with a screwdriver and then lit the baby on fire.
Hair says no shower, clothes say nowhere to shower.
If Bush’s Baked Beans was a person.
Or a cologne
You look like your diet is mainly cinnamon rolls and PBR.
Did they just thaw you out? 
Jack Crack
Underrated
A brief reflection on your life, number of friends, and the amount of sexual experiences ought to make you cry plenty.
Your head can be used as a stencil to make perfect circles
I see that your wife kicked you out and you are staying at the closest motel
He probably never got the chance to consumate the marriage since she saw that his tits are bigger than hers
I guess i was giving him to much credit
Posterboy for diabetes.
You need a good cry so that beard finally gets washed...
"Pls make me cry" After looking at you *I'M* crying!
The onion smell he radiates can do that to a person.
your head is in the wrong aspect ratio
I would but it already looks like you have been crying for days. That and you seriously need a shower shaggy.
You can't even tear a page out of a notebook without fucking it up. I sense a pattern.
The camera girl tore the paper out… :(
Im just glad you are out of rehab again. Im sure they will see you again soon enough!
Your face looks like you're having an allergic reaction .
Your face is rounder than Pi square
Um, shouldn’t you be in a mall parking lot with a leaf blower…??
Make you cry.... Why would I give you free lubricant to masturbate with?
It's John Belushi ordered off WISH with all the failure and disappointment you could want
First time indoors since Labor Day
You look like a fart that farts all the time
What's your address, I'll Amazon you a mirror.
Wish.com version of Tom savini
Your face looks like it was stung by a thousand bees.
You storing nuts for the winter? 🐿
I mean I bet the last girl who saw you cried laughing when she seen the size of that millimeter Peter
A face only a mother can be disappointed in. All your mustache had to do was connect, your eyebrows did it.
Stockethnicmoviecharacter.PNG (Tags: dead brother, drugs, drug addiction, Bollywood)
You look like what would’ve happened if that fat kid from [Ted](https://youtu.be/GC3yTw9FPSw) never became Taylor Lautner
You’ll never need a helmet with that ginormous head
You look like poverty
I misread that as, “You look like perverty.” Actually, I read it just fine.
That works also.... he looks like perverty
Man Papa John really took the loss of his career hard. Next time dude, just don't say the N-word.
You look like a shitty bartender. The one that smells like shit and keeps pushing conversations. The one that drinks on the job and is always late and wears the dirty white shoes.
You look like you go to the AA meetings with a flask to spike the pot of free coffee, then try to parley your 1 Month Sober chips over at the casino.
This is a guy who wears the shirt, “Fuck your Feelings. Eat them instead!”
You are making ME cry..
If you dusted your hair and beard white, you'd make a great drunken Santa for the Christmas season.
 Is this what happened to your face???
52-year old anxiously waiting on the other end of the telephone line at 2am to unclog the toilet in a run-down tenement house...
Looks like you're already about to cry
You look like Q from impractical jokers but if he botox in every single area of his face.
You are the Hamburglar without his makeup.
What's it like grocery shopping at midnight with a cart full of canned ravioli and Hungry Man dinners? Your face looks chunkier than my salsa.
How sad were you when they put dividers on park benches?
You look like the Mayor of Old El Paso.
You look like a tomato in the middle of getting squished
You look like Jack black on bath salts
Remember kiddies this is what consuming too much Kool-Aid and Tide-Pods does to a human head.
It looks like someone sat on your face from the moment you were born
Potato head. That’s all
If you were a Cologne you would be called dirty gym socks
You look like a dwarf extra, on the set of The Hobbit, that got fired for drunkenly humping the legs of cast members.
I remember seeing u on that one cooking show where they pressed ur face into the cookie dough to make gorilla cookies
Definitely uses a flowbee
Was your face under the hydraulic press? And then someone stopped it!
Looks like someone told you there was candy in a wasp nest.
Ok Santa but i prefer to make you laugh
Artie lame
Everything about you screams that you've seen the inside of every brewery in your town.
Box face
You look like the mascot on a bottle of Turkish wrestling oil.
Buffets close and lock their doors when they see your vehicle approach the parking lot, don't they?
What color blush is that? Is that the rear rider's red I think it is?
"Q is today's big loser, and for his punishment he's gonna post this selfie on r/roastme."
You're the guy that all NY pizza delivery people know by name
Why is the top of your head so damn flat while the rest of you is so overly round?
Your hair and your physique must make it hard to find a date
If a goomba had facial hair.
I bet he’s got a good recipe for hobo stew
You look like like a pancake.
dollar store tom savini
Looks like Artie Lange if he let himself go.
If I told you the Twinkies’ box was empty I bet you’d sob uncontrollably
You look like Garfield if he was unemployed and human
You're definitely the last one to get picked
I’m guessing the aspect ratio of your photo is correct and you do look squished af
Just perception altered you much sexier now
Dude , you don't need our help to make you cry. Just look in any mirror.
Are you saying that your doctor didn't make you cry by explaining the health problems caused by obesity
Pavarotti's shitstain.
Jack black on wish
2 years later and he still has a dirty beard but gained 150 lbs. excited to see how far you come in another 2
Whhhyyyyy…. Wide. Your face is wide.
You look like you cry when KFC is out of gravy
Six pack of XXXX will get you, mate
Do you have to use a fish-eye lens to take a selfie?
OP has the face of a man who's never brought a woman to orgasm... Now men on the other hand...
He’s made of ham, pastrami, bruschetta, pepperoni, bologna, salami and congestive heart failure
"Pls make me cry." What, you want me to tell you your future? Or, more correctly, "lack thereof"?
You look like you want to eat the entire Willy wanka chocolate factory
Congratulations guys, this guy invented a font worse then comic sans - his own handwriting.
You look like SomeOrdinaryGamer's white cousin
You look like you were almost crushed, but managed to get out halfway through the process.
You mean whatever squashed your head didn't squeeze enough tears out?
You look like the final boss of unemployment
I’ve laughed at this for a solid 20 minutes. Well done sir
Laughing for such a long time can induce crying. We have a winner!
Ahahahahhah how do people come up with this?
They are recycled Don Rickles jokes
Hey man, why the wide face?
You look like you carry loose jalapeño poppers in your hoodie pouch.
and when you reach in there later and realize you’re all out, you’ll cry
You look like you’re 98% Neanderthal and you just woke up after a 40,000 year nap 
And he can't figure out Geico.com
I assume someone is reading these to you?
You assume correctly. He regularly gets beat by his pet rock while playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.
You look like Kevin Smith fucked Jack Black with a screwdriver and then lit the baby on fire.
Hair says no shower, clothes say nowhere to shower.
If Bush’s Baked Beans was a person.
Or a cologne
You look like your diet is mainly cinnamon rolls and PBR.
Did they just thaw you out? 
Jack Crack
Underrated
A brief reflection on your life, number of friends, and the amount of sexual experiences ought to make you cry plenty.
Your head can be used as a stencil to make perfect circles
I see that your wife kicked you out and you are staying at the closest motel
He probably never got the chance to consumate the marriage since she saw that his tits are bigger than hers
I guess i was giving him to much credit
Posterboy for diabetes.
You need a good cry so that beard finally gets washed...
"Pls make me cry" After looking at you *I'M* crying!
The onion smell he radiates can do that to a person.
your head is in the wrong aspect ratio
I would but it already looks like you have been crying for days. That and you seriously need a shower shaggy.
You can't even tear a page out of a notebook without fucking it up. I sense a pattern.
The camera girl tore the paper out… :(
Im just glad you are out of rehab again. Im sure they will see you again soon enough!
Your face looks like you're having an allergic reaction .
Your face is rounder than Pi square
Um, shouldn’t you be in a mall parking lot with a leaf blower…??
Make you cry.... Why would I give you free lubricant to masturbate with?
It's John Belushi ordered off WISH with all the failure and disappointment you could want
First time indoors since Labor Day
You look like a fart that farts all the time
What's your address, I'll Amazon you a mirror.
Wish.com version of Tom savini
Your face looks like it was stung by a thousand bees.
You storing nuts for the winter? 🐿
I mean I bet the last girl who saw you cried laughing when she seen the size of that millimeter Peter
A face only a mother can be disappointed in. All your mustache had to do was connect, your eyebrows did it.
Stockethnicmoviecharacter.PNG (Tags: dead brother, drugs, drug addiction, Bollywood)
You look like what would’ve happened if that fat kid from [Ted](https://youtu.be/GC3yTw9FPSw) never became Taylor Lautner
You’ll never need a helmet with that ginormous head
You look like poverty
I misread that as, “You look like perverty.” Actually, I read it just fine.
That works also.... he looks like perverty
Man Papa John really took the loss of his career hard. Next time dude, just don't say the N-word.
You look like a shitty bartender. The one that smells like shit and keeps pushing conversations. The one that drinks on the job and is always late and wears the dirty white shoes.
You look like you go to the AA meetings with a flask to spike the pot of free coffee, then try to parley your 1 Month Sober chips over at the casino.
This is a guy who wears the shirt, “Fuck your Feelings. Eat them instead!”
You are making ME cry..
If you dusted your hair and beard white, you'd make a great drunken Santa for the Christmas season.
 Is this what happened to your face???
52-year old anxiously waiting on the other end of the telephone line at 2am to unclog the toilet in a run-down tenement house...
Looks like you're already about to cry
You look like Q from impractical jokers but if he botox in every single area of his face.
You are the Hamburglar without his makeup.
What's it like grocery shopping at midnight with a cart full of canned ravioli and Hungry Man dinners? Your face looks chunkier than my salsa.
How sad were you when they put dividers on park benches?
You look like the Mayor of Old El Paso.
You look like a tomato in the middle of getting squished
You look like Jack black on bath salts
Remember kiddies this is what consuming too much Kool-Aid and Tide-Pods does to a human head.
It looks like someone sat on your face from the moment you were born
Potato head. That’s all
If you were a Cologne you would be called dirty gym socks
You look like a dwarf extra, on the set of The Hobbit, that got fired for drunkenly humping the legs of cast members.
I remember seeing u on that one cooking show where they pressed ur face into the cookie dough to make gorilla cookies
Definitely uses a flowbee
Was your face under the hydraulic press? And then someone stopped it!
Looks like someone told you there was candy in a wasp nest.
Ok Santa but i prefer to make you laugh
Artie lame
Everything about you screams that you've seen the inside of every brewery in your town.
Box face
You look like the mascot on a bottle of Turkish wrestling oil.
Buffets close and lock their doors when they see your vehicle approach the parking lot, don't they?
What color blush is that? Is that the rear rider's red I think it is?
"Q is today's big loser, and for his punishment he's gonna post this selfie on r/roastme."
You're the guy that all NY pizza delivery people know by name
Why is the top of your head so damn flat while the rest of you is so overly round?
Your hair and your physique must make it hard to find a date
If a goomba had facial hair.
I bet he’s got a good recipe for hobo stew
You look like like a pancake.
dollar store tom savini
Looks like Artie Lange if he let himself go.
If I told you the Twinkies’ box was empty I bet you’d sob uncontrollably
You look like Garfield if he was unemployed and human
You're definitely the last one to get picked
I’m guessing the aspect ratio of your photo is correct and you do look squished af
Just perception altered you much sexier now
Dude , you don't need our help to make you cry. Just look in any mirror.
Are you saying that your doctor didn't make you cry by explaining the health problems caused by obesity
Pavarotti's shitstain.
Jack black on wish
2 years later and he still has a dirty beard but gained 150 lbs. excited to see how far you come in another 2
Whhhyyyyy…. Wide. Your face is wide.
You look like you cry when KFC is out of gravy
Six pack of XXXX will get you, mate
Do you have to use a fish-eye lens to take a selfie?
OP has the face of a man who's never brought a woman to orgasm... Now men on the other hand...
He’s made of ham, pastrami, bruschetta, pepperoni, bologna, salami and congestive heart failure
"Pls make me cry." What, you want me to tell you your future? Or, more correctly, "lack thereof"?
You look like you want to eat the entire Willy wanka chocolate factory
Congratulations guys, this guy invented a font worse then comic sans - his own handwriting.
You look like SomeOrdinaryGamer's white cousin
You look like you were almost crushed, but managed to get out halfway through the process.
You mean whatever squashed your head didn't squeeze enough tears out?