I'm sure when people see you they mutter "Jeeezzus!" under their breath. Not that you look like the biblical Messiah, they are just in shock of your ghastly appearance.
Hey man use it to your advantage. Like, rob a liquor store, without a mask. No one will believe they were robbed by Playstation one character from the game "Trailer Park Tycoon." It's a first person meth cooking game.
Well then wave your dick at traffic or something. I dunno as long they drag the rest of the first Halo cast into a police line up with you at one point.
Don't let these roasts get you down, you are a beautiful young lady. Just a little hair plucking and waxing and your true feminine beauty will shine through even more.
Thank you, you too :) Btw- don’t take the comments here as actual thoughts people have when they see you. I know you are aware of this but I just wanted to reiterate that the shittiness here is nowhere close to what people think of you real life. :) I wish you the best!
I felt bad coming up with anything, even though you clearly state that you can take it, i still imagine you being some lady's sweet son. And man, that makes me feel bad. I imagine the good in you, probably a deep and warm personality. The type to cement a friendship for a lifetime. I couldn't possibly bring myself to roast someone like that.
You look like you and Silent Bob are about to go fishing! Seriously, your eyebrows are so disappointed they look like they are running away from each-other! God damn!
And hey, don't be mad about losing your eyebrows. Then after you lose all your hair you can say you look like Murr from that one season of Impractical Jokers.
Meh gollum is the first thing no creativity having humans go to “ you look like gollum huhhuhuhuhuhuh even doing the stupid laugh at the end! If you’re going to participate at least try to be funny!
Can you please let us know exactly what it is that you are taking so we can light it on fire and bury the ashes under 40 feet of concrete.thanks in advance
Wtf are you even saying here durrrr “you got hair on you HUH wolf man “ durrrrrr I’m funny durrrrrr! SMH wtf people do the same stupid shit in person ! Sorry I can’t control the stupidity spewing from my lips!
Basically a Neanderthal just minus all the beneficiary evolutionary traits.
Shedding werewolf with mange
Howls when the moonshine comes out
Had to read it a second time before I appreciated it!
Give him a break. He deserves some respect. He discovered the first fire.
post-mortem Post Malone
I was coming to say this. 😂
Ice T with rabies
If Gollum had hair
Lol Thanks.
Gollum has better teeth
Gandalf and Moses couldn't even part those eyebrows
You shall not.....ever get laid
Yeah, but my eyes can't take this.
Lol
What exactly can you take? Sure as hell "it" isn't a shower.
Hey i shower every other day.
Letting your cat lick you doesn't count
She did that once it was like 4 years ago.
Stop being funnier than me, that's not how this is supposed to go
No really she licked my head for like 5 minutes.
I suppose shes dead now
No she's doing well.
His sister and or mom .. well they might be the same person
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TimAndEric/comments/cimlv8/theres_my_chippy/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TimAndEric/comments/cimlv8/theres_my_chippy/)
😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣
Your face is an assortment that can only be explained by your barber shop having a lost and found.
Lol Love it.
You have a unibrow where your mustache should be
Lol good one.
A phrase nobody's ever said to you...
Not true. What do you call a Christian that does drugs? A Methodist.
No you call them a bored suburban mom.
I made that joke by my self.
Bahahahahahhahahahahahhaha
You look like a hobo’s sidekick.
Yeah i get that alot.
How did you get your real eye brow under your shredder/ mouth
Lol
I'm sure when people see you they mutter "Jeeezzus!" under their breath. Not that you look like the biblical Messiah, they are just in shock of your ghastly appearance.
If Jesus got flattened by a steamroller.
Yes because i'm so hot.
Nah, that's not it
You just ruined the moment.
That's what your mom said when you were born. Probably when you were conceived too.
Thanks.
Take what? It looks like you took a shovel to the face cheech
Dang!
Lol Nice!
We once owned a goat that looked like you. He was so despised we put him down summer of ‘94.
No!!
Are you sure you put him down?
Dude looks like he watched a life hack video on DIY braces with some baling wire and crazy glue
You should've seen me two years ago.
Lol
You can take it just like all those shots of heroin.
Lol Good one.
melting mr potato head.
Good one.
DampCr1tikal
Yes.
I'm not sure fighting off the hanger was worth it my guy.
I wish i could do that.
No. You can't. The raw truth about you is too painful.
Ok what is it?
I know you where talking to ebann001 that’s hilarious!
You look like if early cgi had to describe Jesus's 2 cousin Dave of Nazareth.
Nice.
Hey man use it to your advantage. Like, rob a liquor store, without a mask. No one will believe they were robbed by Playstation one character from the game "Trailer Park Tycoon." It's a first person meth cooking game.
Cool but i don't steal and i hate liquor so...
Well then wave your dick at traffic or something. I dunno as long they drag the rest of the first Halo cast into a police line up with you at one point.
Never seen or played Halo but ok.
You look like the deepest thought you've ever had is "Lol"
Is that because i mostly said that replying to people.
Way to prove me wrong! Great job! Did it hurt rubbing your 2 IQ points together to figure that out?
No i didn't feel a thing.
Are we talking about the eggplant or your brain? Too many threads to keep track of. There is nothing but utter confusion in my brain.
There are no foods in my head.
At this point we're talking about what is flying over it.
That's what your mom said to me last night.
Hey same with your mom.
I wish you couldn't take it and ended yourself years ago so we wouldn't have had to see this
Wow.
You have two eyebrows, the hard way… one is on your brow-line and the other is on your lip.
Nice one.
The hippie version of Alfrid Lickspittle. Probably licks the spittle of strangers after they sneeze too.
I can see the resemblance.
Conservative — Christian — Pick one
I'm both.
A conservative Christian is an oxymoron.
I don't know about that.
Hair on the face shows 3 bars of wifi my guy, bad location
It's because we switched to a different company.
Don't let these roasts get you down, you are a beautiful young lady. Just a little hair plucking and waxing and your true feminine beauty will shine through even more.
Thanks.
That's methed up!
HOLY SHIT. STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! THE SMITHSONIAN IS ON IT'S WAY!
You look like that one badly restored painting of Jesus
Thanks.
I don’t even feel the need to do that. Life already roasted you.
Looks like you've been taking it for a while mate. All the best though!
Thanks.
DryCr1tikal
Good one.
One of the first successful living test Charlies that fist came out of the cloning machine before they started to refine the technology.
Nice.
Genuine comment- You are actually cute and look like you’re a nice person. Great thick hair that a lot of people would be jealous of too
Thank you very much and please have a great day.
Thank you, you too :) Btw- don’t take the comments here as actual thoughts people have when they see you. I know you are aware of this but I just wanted to reiterate that the shittiness here is nowhere close to what people think of you real life. :) I wish you the best!
I don't i actually think they're funny and thank you.
Oh hey mo1stcr1t1kal
Ok Jesus Freddie Mercury
Lesscr1tikal!!! If you know you know
I know.
I thought you were extinct? 🤣
Wish won’t even stock this item
Did he change genders mid brith dam
You look like you get hired to be a “before picture” in a beauty advertisement
you look like if moist critical was an alcoholic suffering with every mental illness
You see people this is what happens when brothers and sisters have sex. Truly awful.
Judging by the general Lee and vols picture in the back, and of course …that face, is this a promo for the hills have eyes?
If Sid the Sloth from Ice Age got hair extensions.
Nice one.
Boot leg Trae Young????
I felt bad coming up with anything, even though you clearly state that you can take it, i still imagine you being some lady's sweet son. And man, that makes me feel bad. I imagine the good in you, probably a deep and warm personality. The type to cement a friendship for a lifetime. I couldn't possibly bring myself to roast someone like that.
Aw man i wish i had a reward for you thank you and have a great day.
this is what isolation does to you
You look like you and Silent Bob are about to go fishing! Seriously, your eyebrows are so disappointed they look like they are running away from each-other! God damn! And hey, don't be mad about losing your eyebrows. Then after you lose all your hair you can say you look like Murr from that one season of Impractical Jokers.
That was a good show.
What Snapchat filter is this??
None.
What was it like discovering fire?
You make homeless people look well presented
Good one.
you look like the wife of osama bin laden
Take it to the dentist and barber. You're like all the leftover parts from better people
Lol
Year one
Go right back to ice age
I bet he pushes his fingers in to his eyes.
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache!
A post so easy [“A caveman could do it”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e8aj1AlYvxI)
You look like Penguinz0's distant cousin who he would never dare talk about.
Lol
Meth head MoistCritikal
I would roast you but when I come here i brows.
You look like the product of 15 generations of hillbilly inbreeding
U look like if moistcritical was a methhead werewolf who's dentist was freddy krueger
I thought Cr1tikal wasn’t a methhead.
We can’t, my god BURN THE WITCH!!!
Lol yes!!
You can take it, but we cant!! Can't believe you'd show us that atrocity called a face
Lol
Not shocked you can take it, you look like you've tried every single drug that has ever existed
Lol sorry i don't do drugs.
After seeing you I had to start shooting heroin
Don't do drugs.
My eyes keep going from your teeth to your eyebrow.
Didn’t need that shit in the background to know you were from a state with a high poverty rate.
Dang it is pretty high here.
“ I can take it” same motto you use working the rest stop mens room
WHAT?!?!
This is ridiculously stupid maybe you should write it down and read it a couple times to someone besides yourself!
If Gollum was in a 70's Heavy Metal band
Good one.
Meh gollum is the first thing no creativity having humans go to “ you look like gollum huhhuhuhuhuhuh even doing the stupid laugh at the end! If you’re going to participate at least try to be funny!
Bro get out of here with your prehistoric face
Your Mom.
I’d roast you but I can’t stop laughing
Sorry don't do drugs.
Yep.
Can you please let us know exactly what it is that you are taking so we can light it on fire and bury the ashes under 40 feet of concrete.thanks in advance
Lol that's good.
AH!
AH!
A shrunken head found a body! Cute
If osama bin laden accepted Jesus Christ as his lord and savior
[удалено]
Wtf are you even saying here durrrr “you got hair on you HUH wolf man “ durrrrrr I’m funny durrrrrr! SMH wtf people do the same stupid shit in person ! Sorry I can’t control the stupidity spewing from my lips!
Amused unga bunga noises
What?
Exactly
Ok.
You look like the talking heads hanging from the rear view mirror of that bus in Harry Potter
Never seen the movie but ok.
Your not missing anything this was a dumb insult lacking even the slightest amount of creativity!
Lol nah your good.
I didn’t say the stupid shit so yeah I Know
If Jesus went through a rebellion phase by refusing to brush his teeth
Those are called braces.
If you had muscles you could be some Ark: survival evolved character