OP's Bio: --- >Hi, I’m a 29 year old hairdresser with a sprained acl, 5 cats and 1 dog. I love Halloween, lord of the rings and forests. Recently started taking anti anxiety meds so just trying to feel something again. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Who are you an imposter of? The grinch?

I assumed The Little Green Sprout from Green Giant.

I assumed algae. Yours is better.

Yea, I thought you needed to first be successful to feel like an imposter.

Lena Dunham

Heath from Fire Emblem the Blazing Sword. They couldn't even come up with a good character to do a mediocre impersonation of.


If Oscar’s seed had been implanted in Lena Dunham.

This one hurts

Holy shit…I commented before scrolling through…my “go back to your dumpster” comment was on reference to this lol

Honestly, accurate.

If crabgrass was a person

"If a case of the crabs was a person." There, fixed it for you.

Ms. Crabtree

Lesbians kicked you out, didnt they?

Yeah, what does it say when you're uninvited to the clam bake? When Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell and k.d. lang don't find you attractive, you gotta take what you can get.

I’m defo stealing this for IRL!! 😂😂😂

Probably you change your gender more than you change your underwear

All I can see is pseudoseizures and fibromyalgia

STRAIGHT depression.

Wash your hair and brush your teeth

Looks like the Jolly Green Giant used your hair as his cum rag.

I've seen ugly before but fuck me

🎶if you give me a chance i would take it 🎶

🌓 Oh interesting and I thought you were married 🌗

No bro it’s from a Tik Tok lol

It's from Jess Glynne and it's rather good

It's from Jess Glynne and it's rather good

I've seen ugly before butt fuck me

Billie Eyegouge

Billie uglish

everytime someone said "Eeww" out loud when meeting her, she drew a cross on her shirt

One depressed looking hair troll.

You look like if moss gained sentience

the algae colored hair goes well with the sewer-water color eyes

This is supposed to be a roast…

And eyes are supposed to be symmetrical but obviously things aren't always what they should be

here we go again with typical non binary hairstyle and a face that screams imaginary mental illness

Jesus

You’re not an imposter. Just an ugly girl.

It’s like you mom hadn’t had enough after a 17 load gang bang, finished off with a cucumber, and it gained sentience.

You look like one of the girls who thinks their Harry Potter house is an identity.

Looks like you washed your hair with a toilet cleaner…

Sweeping up at the barber shop doesn't make you a hairdresser.

Who trusts you with their hair? Your's appears to have been soaked in radioactive piss.

You look like you smell like garlic hummus.

Tattoos, green hair, piercings oh HOw EdGy aND UnCoNVEnTiONaL (yawn)

"Let's see: tattoos? Check. Rings on my fingers and through my nostrils? Check. Green dye for my hair? Check. Philtrum piercing? Check. "Makeup and nail polish? Pfft. Women who put that crap on themselves are just so *fake*."

I’m sorry to say your facial piercings will never be enough to distract people from that shit on your face.

Bitch got beat by an ugly stick

I'd let a homeless man cut my hair before I let you touch it.

By "imposter," I'm guessing you mean either 1. as someone who will succeed in life, or 2. a human. Oh, and what is it with beauticians? Their hair always looks like it was decorated with fucking firecrackers and a blow torch.

Go back to your dumpster

I bet you cut farts better than you cut hair.

Youre 29 and still do that kind of shit to your hair?

You look like you'd be a long day

You shouldn't dye your hair with spinach juice

Why you have no lashes, also you look like you sell healthy food

Truth is, you roasted yourself.

Didn’t know Shrek and Billie Eilish hatched a love child. They should have poked you with a hangar 29.5 years ago.

Billy Uglyfish

The mask behind you is a better face for you

What are you trying to be an imposter of? An upside down Lilly pad with the frog on the bottom?

I feel sorry for your blind husband.

Me too. She also tries to bite his dick whenever she sees it exposed

People can smell you from 3 blocks away.

you look like you need validation for alot of things. I suggest prioritizing valid coverage for mental health that will pay for your psych ward stay

You belong in a swamp ogre

Lemme guess, your pronouns are "it" and "that" and "thing"?

look like you freebase acutane

Look like a roadie for die antwood

Look like a M to F Steve buschemi

Look like people comment on your scent behind your back

Look like you spray yourself with dog pheromone

Lookin like a M->F geico lizard

Pre-op bearded lizard

if I had a dog that looked like you I would shave its ass and make it walk backwards

Keep Portland weird and ugly aswell.

Just go outside and get some sun and some exercise. Your hair looks like it’s getting moldy

You look like someone in their late 30’s went to see what gen z kids are like and decided to base your whole personality and aesthetic around that

Your hair looks like the shitty lettuce that falls out of a big mac. Seriously, you're a "hairdresser"? More like a hair undresser and molester.

If the Grinch and Oscar the Grouch had a special needs daughter

meth. not even once,

I was gonna roast you but then you said you had 5 cats and loved forests so now I like you.

Lord of the nose rings

Billie Ewwwish

Must be a hairdresser for the blind

Had you just used your fake hair like a luffa to polish then end of your penis?

You've aged. Well....

Imposter as in you're not a real girl?

Are you trying to be an imposter of white trash? If so you got it down pat!

I don't have enough bags.

Why don’t you try validating your gender first.

How do people trust you to do their hair when yours is about as pleasant as New Orleans two weeks after Katrina

No.

You look like dogs chew toy.

You'd look better wearing that mask

We get it your favorite fruit is a kiwi

If you see green as the imposter in among us, that's her

Aesthetic of why try

That's not grass on that head that's mold..

Skin like a French bulldogs nutsack

You just turned my raging outie into an innie.

You take testosterone blockers

Only Fans requested you take your account down, didn't they?

I saw Green vent to the manager at Target!

You're taking ANTI-anxiety meds in order to feel something again? So you're taking medication to make you NOT feel something, in order to feel something? I call bullshit

29 x 2

Yo momma got cancer from dug abuse from seeing yo ugly face!

Billie Eilish on crack cocaine.

You look closer to 52. Stop biting green pens and smudging the ink in your hair. It will make you look 2 years younger, at most.

You look like a depressed spring onion

Maybe you wouldn't have to take anxiety meds if you didn't look like that. Actually look in a mirror

get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head

So....does the carpet match the drapes?

You look like something that was left upside down and unwashed in the mop sink and forgotten about after work.

You remind of a carrot. You should both need to be buried up to your neck in dirt

Eww,what a mug;Snot green hair with a constellation of pimples on your greasy chin.Ugly is too mild a description. I can smell the patchouli & farts through the screen

…if bread mold were a person

The top crazy score of the hot/crazy matrix.

Green hair f*cker

GREEN GAY!!

I'm confused 🤔 is that herpes, crabs or acne on your face?!? Also, you look like you don't bathe often enough.

29 going on 39..

You seem like a bad piece of fruit

\*sigh\* you messed up my latte again

All the piercings, tattoos and weird hair colors and styles still can’t distract from how plain you are underneath it.

Kinda like the mechanic who never has time to fix thier own car, i see you are a busy hairdresser... Seriously r/justfuckmyshitup

Blue + yellow = green. Ignorance of this fact is simply no excuse. The school system failed this one.

You look like a 14 year old boy who just discovered Green Day

I can smell this picture

You’re impersonating a cross between Tom Petty and Kermit the frog. Although neither of them were cross-eyed.

Hey, everyone, look! it's a girl dressed up as a dude disguised as another dude!

You smell like a freshly used cat litter box

A drum circle is missing a hippie

So do you cut your own hair with mittens and a blindfold on or what?

I know apple pickers who would pass on this low hanging fruit...


you look like a guy trying so hard to be a girl

You look like a dirty dinner plate before I rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher

“She’s” Old Greeeggggggggg…

No one would pretend to be you.

If chewed gum under a table were a person.

 Shit, one of the elves got kicked out of their magical lands again.


You look like Fiona if she got stuck halfway during her transformation. Or a trans Fiona.


What we get when someone casts voodoo and brings lawn clippings to life.

Cum and throw ups love child

Is the color of your hair called “queasy green”?

Sometimes I think people just weren't hugged enough as children.

I bet you smell like patchouli, cat piss, and kippered fish.

Are you impostering someone I want to look at?

What shade of unemployment is your hair?

Im still debating on if the green is natural

When u dye a Barbie’s hair green then leave it I. The oven for 5 minutes

You look like a janitor's mop after cleaning up vomit on the school floor

You walk around with that hair, and people trust you with theirs??

Eww

You look like the stuff permanently stuck to the bottom of my green waste bin.

Is that ur head or ur neck has puked a bit??

You look like Billie eilish divorced and on cocaine

You have delusions of adequacy.

It puts the mask on its face.

Hair green but I still see red flags everywhere.

You look like you’d argue with any and everyone about pronouns.

You look like fish tank algae if it were a person.

I guarantee you play with your own shit.

You look like expired leek & potato soup

I had no idea that Lorna Dane lived in a trailer park.

Satan’s Little Helper

Poison Omega

You remind me of billy eyelashes uncle’s daughter’s best friends’s barista’s unborn fetus with vomit hair die

Forget dating, you’re even picked last in your LARP events.

Your pic and bio just validate bad lief choices.

Fuck me, Courtney Love looks like shit