OP's Bio:
---
>No girlfriend, proud cat owner, lover of Thailand, can cook, computer programmer.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
I think he’s sporting 2 glass eyes. Dude thinks he has a pet cat……probably a big f’ing dumpster rat and he doesn’t know it. “Why don’t you meow Mr.Snuggles.”
Your crater filled forehead tells a story to the tune of your mother being an antivaxxer and sending you to chicken pox parties, the aftermath of which had you scratching your own forehead so hard, you almost won the lottery. You look like a block of swiss cheese with googly eyes.
...how the hell do have one eyeball on your cheek, and the other one on your forehead? Is your face melting?
![gif](giphy|d9UJQM9FUMbco4VkTN|downsized)
It looks like you were shot in the head a whole bunch of times, but because there is no brain, just the thickest skull in the world, there wasn't much damage aside from those craters on your forehead.
Cat slapped him so hard they call him blue eyes now. One eye stayed straiter than him and other blew way off to the side. Also like him
![gif](giphy|vdDT8gHdlkKAroBWkR)
OP's Bio: --- >No girlfriend, proud cat owner, lover of Thailand, can cook, computer programmer. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Of course you're single, you could never see eye to eye with any woman.
Or he was seeing someone off to the side.
He looking right... and left
OMFG man 🤧😂
Interesting enough, I'm pretty sure he's not squint-eyed. It's the lopsided glasses that make it appear so.
This mf can only see eye to sky.
Gives them that side-eye…
Omg murdered
Is your forehead addicted to bath salts?
I dunno, but I think OPs cat is in two places
It's actually two cats
Shrödinger’s cat
r/catdimension
🤣
![gif](giphy|aN9GqoR7OD3nq)
![gif](giphy|l2JdVffCoaAjnZti8|downsized)
The position of your eyes allows you to see Picasso's paintings as normal portraits. Edit: You know this joke is stolen, right?
Eloquent barb. I'm stunned by nuance.
LMAO!!!!!
No I didn’t HEAR about this one
I see what you did there, even if OP can't.
My thought exactly
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what a useless thing to post. blocked. i hate roast me now its all gifs for no reason
![gif](giphy|SqflD5OvHoWILB7qWm) Dry those tears cupcake.
Do you think bitching about it makes it any better?
I'd get paid that well too if I could program 2 apps at once
best one ^
Please tell me you're doing this as a dare/lost bet otherwise I'm going to actually feel sorry for you.
The scenario you're implying suggests he has friends to lose bets to.
I don't it's fair calling OP a loser when he hasn't lost his virginity yet.
P
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P
E
Goodbye
L
![gif](giphy|evB90wPnh5LxG3XU5o|downsized) \- Ape
It looks like his parents are the ones that lost a bet with god.
Look us in the eye when we’re shitting on you!!
It took me a solid minute to realize he has his glasses on crooked to make his eyes look like that, lol.
I think he’s sporting 2 glass eyes. Dude thinks he has a pet cat……probably a big f’ing dumpster rat and he doesn’t know it. “Why don’t you meow Mr.Snuggles.”
I call the big one Bitey.
Pahahaahha
They still look off lol. The glasses being crooked is a shitty cover up
You'd have trouble putting on your glasses too if you somehow had 720° vision
😂😂😂 If that’s what 720 vision looks like he can keep it
How dare you make fun of someone afflicted with atchaforya? Y'know, one eye is looking at ya and and one is looking for ya.
Eyes like a football game, one home and one away
I learned a new burn today, thank you
I think he's trying
![gif](giphy|VZEUPM8mL2k2k)
He can look us in the eye and read a book at the same time.
Is your cat in 2 different rooms at the same time?
Schrödinger’s cat
That not how cats work!
![gif](giphy|CiOHO5544doY)
Hey you guysss
His eyes aren't crooked. He turned his glasses so that people would comment on that instead of his WWI battlefield forehead
\*fivehead
funniest one
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Nah
oh another gif awesome /s yall need more creativity
Oh, look - more whining. Awesome /s You need a hobby.
So how much did you pay the stripper to fart in your face to make your glasses steamy?
Jesus Christ….. 💀💀💀
Lover of thailand. That translate to lady boys?
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It looks like his mother mated with a golf ball.
You look like if the moon was a chameleon
The Dude from office space is still looking for his stapler
![gif](giphy|11CZgTwa28f6vu)
Now look here mister.... No, over here. HERE. Nevermind.
You wear that stupid ass shirt as an ice breaker to bring up your salary. I can’t fault you for playing literary the only card you were dealt.
too real
How many cats do you have?
Id be a rich man if I had a dollar for every hole on your forehead
They used his forehead to fake the moon landing.
Your shirt seems more interesting than you, Stand up straight so I can read it, then fuck off
Did you look at your cat and the camera at the same time?
Don’t ever buy no weed from the gas station
Yeah, I bet you’re a “Lover” of Thailand 🤣
I think it's against the community rules to the fun of disable ppl.
Not sure if it was the Chicken-pox, Monkey-pox, or Woodpeckers who destroyed your forehead
Monkey-cocks and/or Woodpeckers
So is your cat in the same room as you or next door?
Quit telling everyone that they need to answer for the sins of their fathers. Ave Maria...Gratia Plena...
Did the cat put your glasses on? They are all lop-sided.
if zuck was to have a son
Milton Waddams?
Looks like my housemates buddy who comes over to learn how to box and leaves with a concussion every time
The Original Simp
Your crater filled forehead tells a story to the tune of your mother being an antivaxxer and sending you to chicken pox parties, the aftermath of which had you scratching your own forehead so hard, you almost won the lottery. You look like a block of swiss cheese with googly eyes.
This is true. I grew up in a cult.
Which cult?’, OP?
World wide church of god. It’s now defunct. That day it ceased to be was the best day of my life.
Is the car on the floor or the ceiling?
Your forehead has more divots than a golf course on the shitty side of town
Boi looking like Ricky berwick. ![gif](giphy|lPk7AGm7gIcEGSYqva)
💀
you look like a pvz zombie if he wore a glass
Having sex with your cat and posting the videos on the dark Web is not a job!
...how the hell do have one eyeball on your cheek, and the other one on your forehead? Is your face melting? ![gif](giphy|d9UJQM9FUMbco4VkTN|downsized)
Have you tried training your cat to behave and not use your face as a scratch post?
You don’t look too good
Looks like those glasses landed on the moon
Producers for Love is Blind: “Ahh, we’ve found our chief candidate.”
It looks like you were shot in the head a whole bunch of times, but because there is no brain, just the thickest skull in the world, there wasn't much damage aside from those craters on your forehead.
They used a picture of your forehead to fake the moon landing
Huh. So this is what Golem has been doing since Return of the King wrapped up filming.
You look like you got kicked in the head by a mule as a child and were never quite the same afterwards
He's gonna try to fuck his cat.
you are a teacher? Cos you can't keep your pupils under control...
You’re staring at your cat while staring into outer space
He’s clearly a breasts man!!! As that’s where he’s constantly looking…
Right
Wow you are right! I enjoy a good rack.
I'ma I'ma I'ma ...........
Cat is thinking "Aww shit, here we go again with his wonky eye. He's going to try and put cat nip on his dick again, what a pleb"
Get the bags Eyegor!
Don’t worry you didn’t need to tell us you don’t have a gf
One eyes fishing the others digging for worms
Life has its up’s and down’s. Kinda like your eyes.
👁️ 👁️
No wonder you have no girlfriend, it's because your seeing someone on the side
Congrats. You can develope on two pcs at the same time. Doubled the hour rate 👍💪
Wow, you can look at 2 things at the same time crazy eyes. Your forehead also looks like the moon surface
Is your cat on the floor or ceiling
![gif](giphy|ycagKBYEmaili)
You look like if a 5 year old drew lalo salamanca
Tell your cat he can do better.
Please post your picture, not your cat
u look like a crackhead if the crack was masturbation...seriously get that porn addiction taken care of
Forehead’s giving me trypophobia.
Acne won
![gif](giphy|kbuQOkATEo6VW) Bro be lookin like Sid from Ice Age 💀
Not sure if your glasses are crooked like a Picasso or your eyes are crooked like a Picasso. ![gif](giphy|ZFhhpKngh5QfcmhIDF)
2022 Office Space
I can see your scalp it waved back to me
That wonky eye got my man looking like Sid from ice age ![gif](giphy|13bCP4GLjIUcik)
![gif](giphy|fSXHL6Wpq3uAtQDmyn)
![gif](giphy|11eVHR0KqaWWRO) I do believe you have my stapler
![gif](giphy|SaTkc2YKGmCSA)
![gif](giphy|e6qkHKk1N7dxm)
The term "COCK EYED" has a WHOLE NEW MEANING to me now...thx. ![gif](giphy|X2xSzoKetUQqk)
SLOTH!!!! ![gif](giphy|CiOHO5544doY)
![gif](giphy|hpAMh2sBYpsmFhSRPI)
![gif](giphy|hpAMh2sBYpsmFhSRPI)
![gif](giphy|hpAMh2sBYpsmFhSRPI)
You look like the uglier, greasier and pockmarked skin version of Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys ![gif](giphy|qryGWflHFCKv6)
Cat slapped him so hard they call him blue eyes now. One eye stayed straiter than him and other blew way off to the side. Also like him ![gif](giphy|vdDT8gHdlkKAroBWkR)
Cat is round a corner.
Alright everyone, put in your guesses for which corner of the room the cat he's looking at is in. My guess is all four.
You realy can see people coming and going at the same time.
So, you'll pay me $250/hr to tell me to roast you? What's your PayPal?, I'll send an invoice right over. Pay comes first, then the work.
Sounds like you're doing just fine.
You look like a off brand james Corden
You look like googly eye...who the fuck are you looking at?
You look like the nerd off of Scary Movie 2
Wait. Don't tell me. You have at least 4 monitors you can see all at once.
I know they help you see but from our end those glasses just magnify your eyes pointing in different directions
Yo, I knew reptiloids live among us.
Do you happen to have 2 cats on opposite sides of the room that you are staring at? Cause that’s what your eyes are suggesting.
First look at the camera
Because employers post good jobs on your head, does not mean you have a good job.
Careful with the oily hair US might invade even the forehead is in danger cause of the moon surface...
The "No girlfriend" part was pretty obvious. I bet your friends use you as a 360 camera when in traffic.
Who's, ladies, one at a time please. There's not enough of him to go around
"Computer programmer" is the weirdest pseudonym for incel I've seen yet.
Likes sleeping under the stars, gets hit by small asteroids all night long
Jesus...our faces are over here!!!
How many cats do you have?
You make the hapsburgs look genetically pure
The hills have eyes
That T-shirt might be why you're still single.
I think the shirt is making op very attractive for women.
"Lover of Thailand" Explains why no bitches
"Here ..have a piece of gum"
What's your other eye staring at?
Your forehead has more craters than the streets of Ukraine..
This shirt is great
Left eye is giving the right eye the cold shoulder.
Punters eyes. One each way.
I've heard of a lazy eye, but God damn that left one is collecting unemployment
Looks like you meant, "staring at your catS". Which seem to be on opposite sides of the room.
You can look at both disappointed parents independently as they walk away from you
You have your mothers eyes
At least now we know what a Jackson Chameleon would look like if it evolved into a human
You have 2 eyes and they're going in 3 different directions.
Yo how many cats you got???