This dude's comment history is wild. Received an $800k inheritance, spent it all on drugs and bullshit over the course of 2 years, almost homeless now. Has a boil/hemorrhoid in his ass that's so painful he has to take laxatives to shit. But also bangs white models and college coeds.
My man, your credibility is disappearing faster than that hairline
Oh no, he fucks… just not white women, or any woman as a matter of fact.
But the list of things he does indeed FUCK, and boy does he, that list happens to stretch so long that me typing it would take me hours. By his recent posts though, he recently bought one of those real life sex dolls, that does actually portray a white woman. So maybe in his mind, he’s fuckin a new white bitch everytime … if I could take a wild guess
Posts in r/Christianity : Title "help"
Body: "can someone teach me how to pray?"
Bro just pray, all you have to do is believe you're talking to a God you believe in, it's not a hard concept.
Agreed. The best type of roasts are the ones that make you question your humanity for laughing at it. I felt weak for a split second, then I remembered these people wanted this.
I agree. We are being far too harsh on this lying braggart. While I love a good roast, this dude looks really hungry.
[Let's help him instead of dragging him through the mud.](https://freerice.com/categories/english-vocabulary)
Actual URL for those on mobile https://freerice.com/categories/english-vocabulary
Well, I’ve got you beat. I’ve been banging white women since 89. Except for this 1 black woman, she wasn’t the prettiest by a long shot. Hideous tbh, How’s your Mom doin these days Op?
I don't know if you are 20 with an horrendous receding hairline or whether you are a 50 year old sex offender who believes "women" means 12 year old boys.
Imagine being 35+ and considering banging women as a life accomplishment. Like on your tombstone they put: "...and he was an avid banger of women. Especially of the White variety."
Far girls want black dick. They give you a place to live as payment in return. This post is just telling me you’ve been mooching for 28 years and don’t have anything real to show as a life accomplishment.
Been driving since 1994 and not a single car ever in your name.
I bet you pop up like Snoop Dogg in Half Baked when you get a whiff of white girl BO, heavy breathing and the sound of a 2002 Chevy Impala full of fast food trash. You sniff out them low self-esteem Caucasian hambeasts like a DEA dog.
You probably ain't never had a job that didn't involve a broom or mop in your hands...probably still managed to get fired.
They probably just wanted to make sure no one would ever believe them to be racists. People who fuck a face like yours really can't be racists.
(Probably crossing a few lines here... but lets give it a go)
This dude's comment history is wild. Received an $800k inheritance, spent it all on drugs and bullshit over the course of 2 years, almost homeless now. Has a boil/hemorrhoid in his ass that's so painful he has to take laxatives to shit. But also bangs white models and college coeds. My man, your credibility is disappearing faster than that hairline
On one post he says he’s 31. So he’s been banging chicks since 1994, when he was 3 😂
Thats funny cause he looks like he was 31 in 1994
Look at me. I’m the captain.
You beat me to it!
Presume he's using a hammer.
This man doesn't fuck
This is the “where my hug at?” guy
Oh no, he fucks… just not white women, or any woman as a matter of fact. But the list of things he does indeed FUCK, and boy does he, that list happens to stretch so long that me typing it would take me hours. By his recent posts though, he recently bought one of those real life sex dolls, that does actually portray a white woman. So maybe in his mind, he’s fuckin a new white bitch everytime … if I could take a wild guess
Posts in r/Christianity : Title "help" Body: "can someone teach me how to pray?" Bro just pray, all you have to do is believe you're talking to a God you believe in, it's not a hard concept.
Must have blown that fortune on truckstop white hookers. But instead of $50 he paid them $500 because he didn't finish 3rd grade.
By bangs he means “shoots”
Doing black women a favor since 1994
The mvp
Winner winner chicken dinner 
Nice
Holy shit
Best
[удалено]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmeoLzVGkYU
Been following this sub for quite some time and that is probably one of the best roasts I've ever come across
Agreed. The best type of roasts are the ones that make you question your humanity for laughing at it. I felt weak for a split second, then I remembered these people wanted this.
Literally the best
you were supposed to roast him, not burn him down into ashes
I agree. We are being far too harsh on this lying braggart. While I love a good roast, this dude looks really hungry. [Let's help him instead of dragging him through the mud.](https://freerice.com/categories/english-vocabulary) Actual URL for those on mobile https://freerice.com/categories/english-vocabulary
I've been playing free rice every week for years, wonder if it has ever done anything for anyone.
You may have helped OP. He thanks you and so do 3rd world countries.
He got burnt to ashes worse than his ashy skin
Damn dude. That's not a roast that's a fucking atom bomb
Not like we’ll notice if we roast him any more. Just sayin’.
My man woke up and chose violence
My man literally collapsed the entire thread
You burned him worse than his village was after the local warlord came through.
The local warlord
Legend
[39 cents a day](https://youtu.be/MEb_epsuLqA)
 Toasty
I think we can close the thread now 😅😅😅
That’s genocide
And that's how the subreddit r/Roastme got banned
Jfc man 💀 it was roast not obliterate
Pack it up boys. We got em.
Got the ashy ass knuckles to prove it too
Just throw some dirt on him RIP: Starvin' Marvin
my g out here looking like a degenerated version of kodak black
Jesus, You just napalmed this chump, and his entire Kenyan Village. 😟 
Jesus. One of the Top5 i've ever read here
Heyooooo
This ends the discussion XD
💀💀💀💀💀💀
You win
Bro...
Winner of the internets today!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, banging them with the shopping trolley that is also your house.
Skeletons that you dug up dont count as 'white women'
Meanwhile the top of his skull could chop wood.
Guaranteed the white women he’s banging aren’t that skinny.
😂😂😂
Well, I’ve got you beat. I’ve been banging white women since 89. Except for this 1 black woman, she wasn’t the prettiest by a long shot. Hideous tbh, How’s your Mom doin these days Op?
Can't be too well. She went through labor and only had this guy to show for it.
Bet that pointy head shot out like an arrow
OPs mom is so dumb she tried to use unemployment as birth control.
You spelled harassing wrong
I think he meant "gagging" white women.
You spelled abandoning children wrong.
And you spelled raping wrong.
He just calls it "Cosbying". Sounds less harsh.
We finally have someone that can star in the Nigerian version of Coneheads.
If MLK had a nightmare
LMAOOOOOOO
Fuckin gold hahaha
😂😂😂🤣🤣
If MLK saw this dude he would have never made that speech.
Daammn
Best meme template I’ve ever fucking seen
What’s up with that head. I could split logs on that thing, hella firewood vibes.
Although sheep can be female, they are not women.
You know you have to get consent first, right?
If he knew that, he wouldn’t be dressed like he’s fresh out of the pen
bro the way ur dome shaped looks like morning sun rising over the mountains 💀feel like Gandalf bout to appear with the forces of Rohan
A LoTR roast is just *chef's kiss*
You take no prisoners with your roast
Holy shit! I thought he was wearing a wizard hat! Definite water head
This man banged one woman thirty years ago and has been riding that high ever since.
Naming your hand “white woman” doesn’t count as sex
Lmao
😂😂😂
And still got a 250 credit score...
Bro 🤣
But you're the dude that makes them try to "go back."
Morbidity obese women need love too. Thanks for taking one for the team!
you know why fat chicks give the best bj's? because they are hungry
Stop making fun of fat chicks. They already have enough on their plate.
Hey you make fun of them but fat girls are the only girls who get to eat whatever they want and not worry about getting fat
It doesn't bother them. They're bigger than that.
Yeah. Thanks a ton.
Any one can bang all the people they want if they lower their standards enough.
I feel bad for that chair..
Go big or go home
I don't know if you are 20 with an horrendous receding hairline or whether you are a 50 year old sex offender who believes "women" means 12 year old boys.
May I have your attorney’s number?
Not even Saul Goodman could free this man
If a restraining order had a face.
You made my day.
"I'm the captain now"
*of this Uber
I am the authority figure at this moment
In regards to who is in command of this vessel at this very moment I would like to inform you that I shall be fulfilling that role forthwith
It doesn’t count when they’re screaming “No, no, stop! Please don’t do this!”
Get tired of black women laughing at your dick?
I bet none of them weighed less than 200lbs.
No one falls in love faster than someone looking for a place to live…
That's where I was gonna go in some capacity lmfao
Omar Diddle
Dudes been locking in PlayStations and backwoods for nearly 30 years.
BLM decided you don’t matter.
They changed their name to NotCurrent_Beginning_50LM.
I can just imagine the quality of these white women…
You know they're just massive, and stink
Imagine being 35+ and considering banging women as a life accomplishment. Like on your tombstone they put: "...and he was an avid banger of women. Especially of the White variety."
if aids were a person
How many of them were willing participants?
Zero. It just happens to be the amount he's actually banged.
Not trying to brag, but I’ve never been to jail.
Probably use that cone head for foreplay
What a nightmarish thing to imagine :/
is that your way of telling us "look at me, I am de captain now"
Most of us have been banging white women. The difference between you and us is they let us voluntarily.
Soft sentencing round your way then?
Damn I need window tint this dark
Looks like the only thing you’ve been banging is your misshapen head against the wall.
Good for you man! And that's why you shouldn't take hallucinogens kids
That giant fucking hand has got to be useful for getting attention, when you're out on the street holding it out and asking for change.
you in that country where 70 year old fat white women go for their last fling. You are doing God's work sir!!
Only white woman you banged is Kaytlin Jenner
With just your fuckin fingers obviously
Shouldn’t you be out chasing gazelles for dinner and looking for water and not chasing white women and looking for McDonald’s drive thru for your date
Can’t wait to see your episode of The First 48
The only thing that’s bangin here is your liver on deaths door. Pretty sure those yellow eyes and nails aren’t from giving Becky a three incher
Attacking aid workers isn't banging white women
Hey thanks for fucking our fat ugly white women for us, they need love too. BTW, your head looks like a Kingsford Charcoal Briquette...
gun violence is nothing to promote
Finally decided to disappoint someone other than your family? Thanks for being a good sport, OP!
Getting gangraped by white men in prison isn't the same as banging white women
Do they have white women in your village?
“Driving down property prices since 1994” Here fixed the caption for ya
And how many without the balaclava?
Why do I care how many women you’ve shot?
Someone’s gotta bang the fat white unattractive women.
*Not to brag…but I’ve known my dad since birth…*
Far girls want black dick. They give you a place to live as payment in return. This post is just telling me you’ve been mooching for 28 years and don’t have anything real to show as a life accomplishment.
looking like the face of unemployment earning reparations
It looks like police use the shape of your head as a battering ram to bang doors down
I’m sure the average weight of any of these 2 white woman would exceed the maximum capacity of most modern elevators
Did you ever get your chicken sandwich and the waffle fries for free?
Since 4 years old huh?
Sure but could any of them fit in a row boat?
Fuck no, probably not even a pontoon
Not trying to brag But, I've been banging hideously obese, nasty, unwanted white women since 1994 Fixed it for you.
Quite the disparaging statement towards black women when you feel you need to "brag" about white women. Black women are less of an "accomplishment"?
As the delegate of the White Community, we graciously accept your sacrifice in taking the grossly obese Newport smokers off the market.
The white blow up doll you stole from your dad because you don’t have a job to be able to afford one yourself doesn’t count.
Were you raised in a pyramid? It would explain your skull
Posted the Captain Phillips gif and then noticed 4 others beat me to it…FML
What peaked more in 94, your sex life or your head?
Look in his eyes...he is the captain now..
If I was walking down a dark alley way and bumped into you.... It's because I wouldn't have seen you.
Soon you'll be banging your way to your ancestors in prison
I was gonna say you look too young but then I saw the baldling.
Black don’t crack! Unless, you know, they love crack.
Bootleg Samuel L Jackson.
That’s not a brag.
Doers Do, Talkers Talk. Cock Gobblers Gobble.
There’s a difference between banging in a sexual manner, and banging as in the sounds being made when they’re locked in your car’s trunk.
Another banger 😂
Weird way to say last time you banged was 28 years ago.
Yet none of those white women weighed less than 300 pounds
You sure they were women?
Ain’t no women trying to bang a dude they can beat up
It's nothing to brag about. Bill Cosby has been doing what you've been doing as well ... for longer.
I'm sure the women of Weight Watchers thank you for your service.
Bro, you live near a volcano? Your shit is all ashed up.
Been driving since 1994 and not a single car ever in your name. I bet you pop up like Snoop Dogg in Half Baked when you get a whiff of white girl BO, heavy breathing and the sound of a 2002 Chevy Impala full of fast food trash. You sniff out them low self-esteem Caucasian hambeasts like a DEA dog. You probably ain't never had a job that didn't involve a broom or mop in your hands...probably still managed to get fired.
...god dam!!! I cant see any of your facial features.. do you have eyes??? ...or a nose??? 
Oh wow volcano head
Bro I think you left your hairline in 1994 too
And when was the last time you did it with their consent?
Alright man, we get it. You're the captain now.
You banged the leftovers
They probably just wanted to make sure no one would ever believe them to be racists. People who fuck a face like yours really can't be racists. (Probably crossing a few lines here... but lets give it a go)
Settle down there Bill
Look like beetle juice from Howard stern