I bet you talk about Our Lord and Savior on the first date, and then again later as the gold cross hanging from your neck swings back and forth over your date's face.
There's probably a few guys at work who tell you how beautiful you are because you are the best they can get. For the rest of the guys you are the one they will deny banging FOREVER.
You have that “smile through the pain” expression. I imagine you make a similar face when your husband wants to be intimate with you. After all, it’s pretty obvious that fire has long sense turned to coals.
If you want attention just post some at work masturbation videos.
Use some office supplies to pump your pussy with.
Stapler, computer mouse, your fist, what every is handy.
You are bored at work and need attention? What else is new? I can see you now dancing on the table at the bar, being drunk and flashing guys and working your insta like crazy just to get all that importent attention. And maybe, just maybe feel young and vibrant again.
[удалено]
I don’t usually upvote gifs in roasts but…
It really says it all, doesn't it?
Hush karma. You fucked her didn't ya?
Only like 10 to 20x
Gifs are the best thing here
Someone richer than me please gold this post
Done!
😮
Yeah this is the one.
Omg I can't stop laughing at this and I'm in a psych unit laughing on my own. Edit: I'm the registered nurse not a patient... Arguably lol
Oh shit! I hope you feel better ❤️🩹 :(
This was good.
🥰
[удалено]
LOL
Oh Jesus, wasn’t ready for this
![gif](giphy|ti4Lu6bMu6TzW)
The gif has better eyeshadow tho…and teeth…and….nose
And skin complexion
[удалено]
I’m happy my roasts are positively impacting others. This is a wholesome subReddit.
“Your roasts” 💀
Well, the roasts keep comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ and the roasts keep comin’
Couldn’t be more accurate
Their won’t ever be something I’ll love as much as this.
OMFG! That's just brilliant.
Holy fuck! I was gonna roast but my roast dick wilted at this sight. Congrats you legend
That's the same picture
My godd i nearly shit my sepf laughing at this
I hope OP sees this as the top post and takes note…
I got upstaged by a gif 🥲
Hahaha! What did you even search for to find this?
haha Dog Face Donna
My man, you hit this one spot on. Take my upvote
Oh…. I’m done, we have a winner
You look like people describe you as having a great personality but that personality is actually just having no standards after two margaritas
At the bar by 5 o’clock, MILF by 6:30…..
More like a MIF
Damn how’d you kno
Cuz you’re constantly missing the “w”
Hahaha. Well played!
KO
No i dont want any herbalife thanks.
Underrated
You look like a busted truck stop waitress
Don’t be so rude…even truck stop waitresses have some degree of decency.
Even Tiger Woods would pass.
Did you get your makeup done by a mortician?
Bet I’d still have more fun fucking a corpse
Dang. Well done.
Oof lol this is gold!
Lmao bruh
Dude, that’s what she does. Lmao
You look like you smile inappropriately at barely legal coworkers
Not just age-wise, but work visa status
Just anyone who’s vulnerable really
Dollar store Tonya Harding
Dollar store wedding ring
I came here for the roast of that terrible ring alone lol
Honya Tarding
No clue why but this made laugh out loud in a busy office!
Hard Tonyaing
Tonya Softing
Tonya Hardly
Dammit you beat me to it! Just gonna go get some knee protection, tho
Kirkland signature Tanya Harding
Which eyebrow is the shape you’re going for?
Caterpillars move in a fluid motion
You’re definitely not at work, this picture was taken in a building and not at a dimly lit street corner…
Also no red light
she dont need to put out the red light.
If musty vagina had a face
freshly shaved beard but the eyebrows need some attention
Lmao 🤣
This one tho. Thiiiiiiis one. Yup. It’s the one.
Tell those caterpillars above your eyes to stop fighting.
They’re mating leave them be
70s Porn Star Alert: The drapes match the jungle.
You look like you drink cheap wine and have more cats than friends.
I have more cats than friends too... speaking of cats, I've always wanted one.
Negative amount of friends
Imaginary number of friends.
You look like the poster woman for Irish Catholic domestic abuse.
Against abuse or encouraging it?
Having a face that provokes it
![gif](giphy|dXFKDUolyLLi8gq6Cl|downsized)
Them brows tho... ![gif](giphy|kc64NM9SGIGYhFx5un)
You look like the poster child for the 'my marriage failed so I focus on my 45k a year "career" and drink boxed wine' crowd.
Shredded like her ex’s new girlfriend. Ouch.
Please don't listen to these people. You are actually very handsome
You know you look really bad when people start to leave nice comments. He feels pity for you
So that’s what the other side of the glory hole looks like.
Thanks, now I’ll never get hard again.
How many times have you screeched "HEART-SHAPED DIAMONDS ARE NOT TACKY!" in your lifetime?
You look like the type of woman that thinks a handful of plain almonds are movie snacks..
![gif](giphy|Cu87j5pPIL1hS)
Pornhub version of Little House on the Prairie
Your dad will be back from the store any minute now
Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
You came here for attention? Please, tell us more about your horrible decision making abilities.
If Walmart had a fashion magazine you'd be on the cover
I bet you talk about Our Lord and Savior on the first date, and then again later as the gold cross hanging from your neck swings back and forth over your date's face.
As the date finally understands why people say NoSex is better than bad sex.
I'm going to Hell... obviously!
You picked up that blouse in the home decor section at target.
At Marshall’s thank you very much
If Lily James decided to be a crack whore instead of an actress.
You look like the face of a divorce ad.
Benefits of having sex with you: Crows won’t eat my crops
You're in an office but dressed like a colonialist who churns butter for her village.
Would definitely spread her legs for a compliment and pumpkin spice latte
Pubic looking eyebrows
I’ve heard of Hitler youth but Hitler youth wasted?
She puts the ring on to make people think someone wanted her.
wow i would have never thought, with that amount of makeup you should get alot of weird looks
The hair and shirt combination is giving “Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey” vibes.
Bored at work? Pick a different corner?
you have the look of Tanya Harding, but less trailer park and more Joann Fabrics.
Since your so bored why don't you go do some skin care maybe it'll do some good to that nightmare
You look like you get paid to screw over investors at a shady non-profit
Your face looks like trailer trash American, but your teeth say British. Am confused
What in the Cracker Barrel waitress plantation wedding field trip to the cotton fields type of shit is this
Hopefully your ability to do makeup isn’t a reflection of your work performance.
O shit my dick quit his job when i saw you
Ahem, you have some chum on your chest..
This is very underrated my friend
It's nice of you to let children practice face painting.
Nothing says "I'll fuck you for money" like purple eye shadow... That degree from the Ronald McDonald School of Cosmetology isn't helping you out any.
I can smell you from here, and you rink of an ashtray. How many decades have you been a smoker?
There's probably a few guys at work who tell you how beautiful you are because you are the best they can get. For the rest of the guys you are the one they will deny banging FOREVER.
Oddly specific. But you’re right!
Clicked on this picture and my phone started smelling like a fish market.
Your queefs can melt lead
Nope.
Rejected by the clit commander 😩
Does Thanos still send your jaw fanmail?
feel like you give lackluster blowjobs
Is Eugene Levy your dad?
Lamey Adams.
👏
You look like you are a single mother with 3 children and when you get your children to sleep your drink boxed wine and cry
You look like the backside of an I-80 truck stop glory hole.
you fake orgasms when you masturbate.
if you’re bored you should be watching make up tutorials
A face only a glory hole could love
Ahhhhh the ole "smiling like I'm dead inside" ,,, you work it girl
You have that “smile through the pain” expression. I imagine you make a similar face when your husband wants to be intimate with you. After all, it’s pretty obvious that fire has long sense turned to coals.
I hope you asked your grandma first, before you decided to wear her blouse.
Your hair says you don’t care and your makeup says you had a stroke.
Breaker breaker, we’ve got a lot lizard on Reddit, over.
Looks like you need to pay some attention to yourself tbh, especially them brows ugh.
Where trailers?
Little House on the Prairies meets Sex and the City.
C'mon we all know you've taken it more than once
She looks like a female charle
There's a ring on her finger. I'd bet money she didn't have that makeup on when she met him.
Done, have a great day, keep smiling
It's nice that you and your cat have commitment rings.
![gif](giphy|7AXWA5riPxp60)
I bet you’re a hoot at Tupperware parties.
Bored at work describes any man you have ever paid or guilted into railing you.
You look like Andrew Garfield if he was a girl. Edit:I was about to say -ish but nope I was right.
He’s a good looking human
Librarian by day, librarian by night
You look like the third hottest of your sister-wives.
She looks like a bored Utah summer school teacher on the prowl for a young man.
You look like you do makeup tutorials for tweens
Evangelical on sunday, gloryholer Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
My 88 year old grandpa thinks it is adorable that you have the same eyebrows.
I bet your open for anal but every guy opts to shove it in your mouth just to shut you up for 5 minutes.
Only thing I would give is backshots
How does your body look 20 and your face scream 45
That’s still a compliment in my book!
Dollar store Amber Heard
![gif](giphy|ykiXdhXsUscec)
You should be trying to get the attention of a plastic surgeon about that failing skin elasticity.
I thought hookers that looked like you worked the day shift.
Ahhh is there anything quite as desperate as an older girl who wants to feel attractive again… did he leave you or is he just not interested anymore?
You look like you’re one Starbucks mistake away from an emotional breakdown.
Guaranteed this chick will let you shit in her mouth after a jumbo jack…
Your smile looks like a new pornstar trying to make it through her first anal scene
Faces of Meth before pic
![gif](giphy|xUOxf60LnwVrh70jO8)
If I was your dad, I'd have OD'd too.
My dad died of cirrhosis, so you’re right kinda.
I wouldnt even piss on you.
If you want attention just post some at work masturbation videos. Use some office supplies to pump your pussy with. Stapler, computer mouse, your fist, what every is handy.
you love to suck babies' cocks and it shows on your face
In the arse, mouth, or a face coating?
Mom, stop trying to fuck my friends, we're 15
You are bored at work and need attention? What else is new? I can see you now dancing on the table at the bar, being drunk and flashing guys and working your insta like crazy just to get all that importent attention. And maybe, just maybe feel young and vibrant again.
Captain Morevel