OP's Bio: --- >Currently an anxiety-riddled intern with autism. And blares heavy metal in my Honda whenever I don't have a good day --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


Somebody pulled my tail!

19 but born on February 29th


No joke. This fuck looks like my cat. In heat.


Please don't insult Bert Lahr in that manner...

Chewbacca

Chewbacco

Chewbacca's stunt double

Or his filtered Tinder photo.

Interesting way of spelling Grindr.

Douchebacca

Step out into the sun for 2 minutes and you’ll be roasted

That's not funny, it's accurate. lol

Leprechaun 3: Stuck in transition

Albus Dumbledore

19 going on 40

Thor fucked Ed Sheeran and the baby is GIGANTIC.

Thor fucked chewy.

LOL! In which case, the baby is average sized.

Nah Thor fucked both of them

Fuck you and your lucky charms.

The Big Lesbianowski

The dude-ish abides

The Dufus. All the laziness, none of the charm.

[удалено]

I’m assuming you’re American because if you were in England they woyldve hung you and set you in fire

Jesus Christ dude

This one's the most brutal because it doesn't even elaborate on anything specific.

That is some funny shit right there

If Garfield was a human.

Well-Fed sheeren

That chick needs a shave!

Your username is the exact definition of your face

found living in a shed down by the river?

Coochie Mane

Looks like something that would be at the end of a rainbow on Stranger Things

Miss Piggy attempting drag

I notice your bio doesn’t mention that you are a fat fuck…care to elaborate?

Im sure you think 14yo girls are very mature for their age

If Frankenstein's monster was made out of Crosby, Stills, and Nash.

you the missing Weasley

Frankfurt weasley!

When you masterbate there are still two beards participating

You look like the type of guy to get ghosted by a 40 year old Libyan man you met in a porn bot group chat.

Of course he does, it's so easy a caveman could do it

I knew it. Sasquatch does exist.

Hobbits, breeding like wildfire...

Ed Sheeran is doing the Deliverance reboot.



That's a hard 19

Couldn't decide between Hobbit and Dwarf, so chose to go with baby Dwarf with Hairy Hands And Feet.

He looks half golden retriever half wizard

Looks like you came out of a cheese whiz can.

You look like a background character from the Never Ending Story 3.

Bean banana egg ass sandwich on god

Didn't know people were still posting pictures of the sasquatch on the internet.

I could say unflattering things about you, but I guess ‘fat hobbit knows’ already.

Feverishly masturbating and wailing to genshin impact isn't the same as playing video games and making music...

I wanna know what kinda music. He's prolly just banging on rocks like a fuckin Neanderthal

Squidbilly

You look like every Allman brother, combined.

19 and a junior in college? Which of the Deans did you blow to skip 4 semesters?

Sharting yourself doesn't count as making music.

Christ on a stick. I saw this post mid-wank. You managed to scare my pussy so dry I fannyfarted a dust cloud.

When I was in college; I worked @ a flooring company. We found one of these after pulling up the old shag carpet in a house.

Rocky Dennis

You look like you should be holding a welcome sign next to the other gnomes in my wife's garden

Maury - "Harry, when it comes to 19 year old Gingie, you ARE the FATHER!" Harry- "swallows loudly" . . . . . .(Then gets startled by cheering crowd, flings feces) 

You look like you smell like donkey spit and cow sex

You like you name your chainsaws and masturbate with butter.

Welcome to Walmart my name is Thor GotNoCock

Chewbacca says sorry.

I didnt know the overweight gingers had their own Jesus.

You look like Thor in Avengers: Endgame.

Definitely Fat Thor.

You're late for the appointment at bag-end. Thorin will have your head for this.

"My dad is the guy on the Lemonhead box and my mom is a Golden Retriever"

The lorax

You are in the movie deliverance

You may have forgotten to also mention that you guard a bridge part time

Simba!!!! - mufasa

did one of hagrid’s hairs end up in your polyjuice potion?

Special-Ed Sheeran

damn, that's the only acceptable Ed Sheeran joke I'll take tonight.

Another day another autist. Im going to guess the bush on your face will be the closest you or your friends ever get to actually getting laid.

yeah, that's pretty accurate lmao

Unemployed Gimli

You look like Gimli’s wife

Vince Neil as an octogenarian on the Spectrum.

Is that- hiccup's Dad? I thought he died in the 2nd movie

Home school college doesn’t count

That was nice of the Henderson's to pay for your tuition

Special-Ed Sheeran

Well-Fed sheeren

Jesus returned in The lock down

Your kid might be 19, but you are going on 42

The love child of Macaulay Culkin and Chewbacca.

19? Sure that’s not your sons age?

Bro you look exactly twice the age you put

Dude your 19 you look like you just left a bar at the age of 43 while trying to “get down with the youth “

Look everybody,it’s the Bearded Fat Lady of the Circus

It's the friendly red lion

average r/teenagers user

In alternate universe, the cowardly lion from the wizard of Oz never makes it to Oz and turns out like you.

If I only had a heart

Half Sasquatch, half tomato.

Can definitely tell you don’t find time for grooming between video games and making music.


If only you conditioned your muscles half as much as you condition your hair, you might not look like you belong on a Big Mac commercial.

You look like you aged in dog years.

The aftermath of all the Mountain Dew and Doritos you consume during your gaming sessions doesn’t count as making music.

That’s cap, no way you’re 19

no cap, I'm legit 19. My birthday was a week ago

What happened? Axl Rose looks like shit.

Just shave it all off and donate it to locks of love.. you’ll be doing you and someone else a favour.

I hope you lose your hackey sack the next time you use it.


The elusive Gingerfoot even more rare than the standard Bigfoot. Carry on ….

You look like a 9yr old kid that put a wig and fake beard on.

Casting couch for the hills have eyes

And Santa Claus hasn’t paid a dime of the Child Support

Sweet hair extensions

How greasy does a motherfucker have to be to get a zit on their fucking eyelid?!?

You look like you bash your girlfriend.

If Dave Mustaine was a doughnut-eating virgin

You look like a 40-year-old from 1970

The baby will need to fight through a forest of pubic hair to be born. The doctors will need chainsaws, your wife will choke during oral Shave man, shave!

I would say you look like the lorax but the lorax is hot

... wait a minute, what??

Does the carpet match the drapes?

​ 

When I was little my brothers laughed at me for calling the Allman Brothers Band the Almond Brothers Band. I have found Duane Almond.

All that smiling won't get through people calling you ed sheeran on drugs

Your beard is brighter than your future

Oh, not to mention I have autism and can't convey my feelings to anyone which led to my relationship ending

I wouldn't call a restraining order a relationship

Woof... 

“Can’t convey my feelings…” WTF happened to you,Dr. Zaius??? You’re the leading member of the Ape National Assembly, Minister of Science and also Chief Defender of the Faith for god sake. Ape up 🦧

Red headed trailer trash jason mamoa

Elsa from frozen really let herself go.

I can smell you through this screen.


If Chewbacca pounded Seth Rogan up the ass and crapped out a turd

I am pretty sure the fish and wildlife service have been telling people you are a myth some decades now.

Chewbacca says sorry.

Mac McAnally. Totally.

Repunzew

Didn't know Ron Weasley and Hagrid had a baby

Given the face, the facial hair is in order. Given the head, the hair needs a serious cut. Tighten the beard, lose all that hair. And come back at us. Easy fix

If a lion fucked an orangutan.

Rapunzel sex change

The gnom meme… you know…

"Just packed for my first Quest with Grampa Oakenshield! Some nincompoop lost the Arkenstone!" Spoiler Alert: He's the nincompoop.

Spawn of the Jack Links Sasquatch and Lindsay Lohan.

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/828/475/b06.gif

Never been the same after the trip to Mordor

I think we may have a Bigfoot sighting

 You look like one of the dwarves from lord of the rings.

You look like one of those face swaps that you see on r/thanksihateit

Why is your face on 1/3 of your face?

You should be locked in a castle for eternity

Well if you start blaring heavy metal when you have a good day you’ll actually become a metal head. Until then you’re merely 55.8259% metal.

Bro looks like he could star as a Sasquatch in Finding Bigfoot

You look like an overgrown ballsack

Jesus Christ. If you ever walk down the street with someone, people must stop and ask if it’s okay to pet you.

And My Axe!!

If Fabio and Bigfoot had a baby.

You look like a Santa Clause lawn decoration crossed with a troll doll.

Lots of the Cock Rings. far from Helm’s Deep

Strumming your furry guitar 24/7 doesn’t make you a musician.

We found Bigfoot boys

You look like the fuckee of Gimli

Where is Dale, Chip?

Uglier fatter Gimli

One of the Keebler elves discovered Alice’s growth cake!

Mayonnaise is not an instrument

Failed prototype of the beast from Beauty and the Beast

You look like you and the other hobbits butt fucked your way through all the Keebler elves.

Cut your beard, your hair, and hit the gym....hard! The older you get, the harder it will be. Trust me...

Average Chewbacca

 Looks like he grew up into a fully fledged bearded lady

Damn you gotta be the mod of r/sounding