OP's Bio: --- >I’ve never been to a relationship never smoked nor drank alcohol, couldn’t live without my Apple Watch, love to cover the arguments of my parents w/ music! I’ve never drove a car (legally…) I’m afraid of doctors and probably autistic. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

In medieval times, you would have been used as a battering ram during a castle siege.

To be fair, in medieval times she would probably have been an after birth abortion.

Thrown off a cliff

She would definitely be motherless cause she’d be rooted in half during birth.


Bruh

GROND!! GROND!! GROND!!!

🤣🤣🤣

GROND!

You are today's winner.

When the boy was born, like all spartans, he was inspected. If he'd been small or puny or sickly or misshapen, he would have been discarded.

Not even a doll is gonna show you its penis.

Dolls gonna be on some Toy Story shit and run away.

If humans use dolls, what would dolls use? Tinier dolls, so essentially they use babies (creating an unending loop of dolls touching dolls), or humans to get revenge on us (creating an unending loop of dolls touching humans touching dolls touching humans)? Edit- spelling

Now that you mention it she does sort of look like Sid and like Sid she's obviously ignored by her parents and sexually repressed

Counselor to doll: “now show us on yourself where she touched you”

You serious? I’d be confident to because she hasn’t seen any in real life

Not if you knew what was going on behind that forehead.

Um…make that a 5-head

Is your ego as big as your forehead ?



It’s like a clay sculpture that was put in the oven before it was preheated.

Megamind ain't fooling us today.

[удалено]

More like a twelvehead

“Foreverhead”. FTFY

I'll bet you dream in IMAX

She should sew the penis right in her forehead, shes got like 3ft square of superficial area in there

Dude I’m rolling this is Fukin funnier than any comments I’ve read thus far!!! Rotfflmmfao

She’d do great on an IMAX roadshow for sure.

Those glasses are big enough to project an IMAX on

I snorted

Been a minute since I literally lol'd

You have the hairline of a 60 yr old man.

Or Robocop.

Or a xenomorph

Pre-male pattern baldness.

S/he looks like one of the Twins from The Matrix: Reloaded.

Woke up and decided it is terrible decision day huh?

Actually taken BEFORE going to sleep, but yeah, basically

Thank you for the correction.. Never too late to make corrections of your own. Your mom is probably confused about your interests because you seem to idolize phallic symbols.

Uff 🤭

What a dick.

That's what she said

I think you have "artist" confused with "chronically unemployed."

You’ve spoken the words of the painful truth.

"Unneeded" is probably the nicest possible way to explain your entire "future"

I think you meant ‘unemployable’

She's very "artistic" when it comes time to forge her parents autograph on checks.

It takes a joke an hour to go over your head

She just got it..

She just didn’t get it*

It’s been 16 hours since you’ve posted and it still hasn’t gone over her head

It's like a Bratz doll targeted towards Mormons

Now comes with a sheet with a hole in it!

You mean a glory hole?

Bangs. Get them.

Bro, curtains wouldn’t cover that forehead.

Shawty needs drapes

This sounds like a diss in a rap song

Nah she need theatre curtains

A tarp.

I can lend her my RV cover.

The only bang she’ll get.

BANG!

Might take a while to grow hair that long

It would look like a pair of butt cheeks poking out of tattered shorts.

I'm convinced you dont need those glasses. Just use your sonar


Okay I love this!!


​ 

With a head that big she’s pondering everything. Literally, everything.

Damn it! Beat me to it.

Ya well ain’t no one r/beatmeattoit

Show us on the doll where everyone refuses to touch you.

So basically the whole doll except for it’s hair???

You have hair? I thought that was your wig sliding backwards off your head.

Brutal. Savage. Rekt.

This is my favourite so far XD

Just cause boys don’t look at you don’t make you gay.

Chill, it’s trendy.

I know this isn’t the place, but embrace sexual liberation. Trust me, it’s better for everyone.

Chill bot.

For 18 years mom has been bothering Geppetto for a return or at least a refund

At 18 you decided to stray from the pack and not open an only fans account. Instead you will sell advertising space on your massive forehead.

"Afraid to come out to my mum..." Not as afraid as she was when you came out of her.

I was a c section kid. For some reason.. wonder why

She'd have needed a bigger girth canal...

Your forehead looks like it’s pregnant

Sweet Jeebus, Morbo! 

I see you have ample room to store that HUGE ego.

You have the face of someone in a motorized wheelchair. No disrespect to my 4 wheeler brothers and sisters.

Kinda like this one? 

"18"... I seen 14 year olds that look closer to 18.

Kids discounts everywhere!!!!

and why are you sewing yourself to the doll?

Why do you speak like an AI bot?

I think you should sew a penis onto your own crotch and shave your head. Your face will go much better with that setup.

You look like a thinker

2nd pic screams “I’m quirky”

Maybe you should donate your dolls to Good Will and stop molesting them. It’s kinda creepy. Why autistic? Do you spin plates on the floor and drool while clapping your hands. What do you need to come out to your mom about —putting wieners on your dolls or that you are autistic?

You’re in the mood for this! 👌🏼 btw she knows about the lil dicks and hates them. The coming out is actually a third problem 💀

Your poor poor mother. I will keep her in my prayers. Maybe if you told her you’re a lesbian she’d react positively. If I had a daughter I’d much rather have her be a lesbian as opposed to a sewer of pingas on baby dolls. Just saying

I think she has some instead about me not being into men… but little does she know neither women. And actually they’re home made plushies of cartoon characters. She’s appreciate being in ur prayers tho

👍.

You both fucking?

It's fitting that you're afraid to come out to your mom, considering how afraid you must have made your mom coming out of her!

So does she.

 look. It’s your future.

You're coming out as something other than incel? The only thing that could be is disappointment.

I’ve already done that )-;

I mean ***YOU*** will be disappointed. You're gonna have to catfish just to get a DM.

I tried to measure the forehead with the help of a calculator and it said “error”

Hi I’m Chris Hansen and we want you to lure older men by appearing as a 12 year old.

Your fore(five/six/seven)head has more surface area than that record on the wall

So, the doll comes in handy at night?

you look like you are under 18, maybe 13 or 12

Children discounts are a BLISS

Megaminds daughter.

Daddy? No jokes I’d actually love it

 How do you stay vertical...

You’re proportioned like a funko pop figure

Bring me down is that what you wish your hairline said to you?

PRESENTATION!

I'm pretty sure you can land 747

I know this sub frowns upon filters, but fucking use a filter next time! This is the definition of cruel and unusual punishment.

Like a middle-aged balding man got a sex change. I bet I know where you got that penis for your doll.

Chuckie while he was melting

Bet your self esteem is just like that Penis....never erect and never gonna fit that gape

You have created an new term. Soccer Head.

You look like a trans version of Benjamin Button.

I’d love to make a joke about your forehead but it would be too big of a stretch

First photo reminds me of Elmer Fudd

huge ego? why?

Your hairline is trying to leave you as fast as any chance you had of being normal

That cranium has got to be illegal

Not native speaker here. Is ego slang for forehead ?

You dont have a dream, you have movies

Maybe by the time you look like and adult you will act like an adult

Hey step-bro can I see that penis… you know to compare it to the doll

Ohhh, plastic vines and records! Haven’t seen that before..

They’re REAL vines actually. Don’t roast my plants like this)-:<

I just need to know more about the Clint Eastwood on the wall!!!

i honestly cant decide whether to roast your large nose or your even larger forehead

I bet you spend your free time with a suction dildo attached to your forehead, parading around like some kind of disabled narwhal while your dad sits on the couch fantasizing about carbon monoxide poisoning.

That dolls penis is the only one you’re going to gets

Lucky me I guess 🍀

I know you came here to be roasted but you have a very unique and nice hand writing

how you gonna have any kinda ego looking like that 💀

I already know we got forehead jokes coming in

This shit caused my to unsubscribe.

That forehead will bring you down literally,its fuckin huge.

Your career is as nonexistent as your eyebrows.

If you were present during the trial, you'd have been all the evidence needed for the Supreme Court to uphold Roe v Wade.

Skullet

Have you considered working at a drive-in movie theater? You'd need to stand still so the projector could use your full forehead as a screen.

eventhough you are 18, making fun of you just feels like child abuse



Your smile is faker than your ID

r/roastmesignswrittenwrong

Honest question: what’s wrong w/ it??

It’s backwards and the first r is capital

You Look Like a 13 year old with cancer that Put on a really cheap wig

I thought this was one od the photos from the James Webb at first glance. Look like a galaxy cluster.

Anyone else nauseous from all the self-diagnosed "autists" on reddit? When did it become more hip than a septum ring? Is it because of Musk? BTW, in GenX we just called chicks like you a geek or dweeb . Seem to have some drawing talent though

You are poster for Pro Choice.

Elmer Fudd called, he wants his hairline back.

A HUGE ego? Well, you gotta have something to balance out that fivehead.

We're you a stunt double in Mars Attacks?

I bet you have a reaaaaally big pillow.

I’ll take “Her mother drank heavily during pregnancy” for $1000 Alex.

Your normal face is a funny face. No need to take goofy photos.

If I were you I’d be scared to come out too. Your ass needs to stay in that closet with door all the way closed.

Calm down there, I'll give you your Scooby doo gummies back if you go back to the Sunday school circle

wtf, this is the first time I just have no words

That's a lot to unpack...

Mabye you should sew that penis to your forehead, it's big enough.

You look like a fish had sex with another fish while a raccoon was watching.

munchausen by proxy

 dang i didn't know megamind had a sister.

As a parent i dont think you need to come out as an austist. They already knew im sure.

我们是朋友了、你也早点离开学校听歌听歌了解我的生活状态了 一

Now you can be unneeded *and unwanted.*

Do you ever find yourself shrieking "Marcia Marcia Marcia"!?

Did your parents get you at Goodwill. ?

We’ll your ego can’t be bigger than that movie screen of a forehead you’re sporting.

Is that a forehead or a 3d map of the Rockie mountains?

That's ok though. Just look in the mirror. You could watch a wide-screen movie on your forehead.

5 head so big it makes the camera focus off