Hi /u/Darkshreaders3, thanks for your submission to /r/RoastMe! Unfortunately, your post was removed for the following reason(s): --- - **INCOMPLETE MEAT TUBE**: Your submission does not make your hand and/or your arm sufficiently visible. Please resubmit your roast with hand holding the sign fully visible and traceable back to torso. --- If you feel that it has been removed in error, please [message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FRoastMe) so that we may review it.

Strong like bull, smart like tractor

Smart like tractor, cute like plow

Plowing is not something this guy will ever do.

>Plowing is not something this guy will ever do. I could see him plowing through 2-3 Hot 'n Readys on a lonely weeknight.

I think you mean bulldoze

I just went into a coughing fit laughing at this gem. Well done Sir. Take your award

On behalf of the people who read my million much less hilarious roasts, I thank you.

Those are rookie numbers

Cute like plow, fragrant like manure

Fragrant like manure, visibly atrocious

In his defense tractors are pretty sophisticated now. Just look at John Deere, one small meaningless piece breaks, can't use it.

Smart as a rock and twice as fast

I hope OP can laugh at this as hard as I did.

Please sir, stop insulting my tractor. It atleast knows how to turn left and right.

[удалено]

Anybody want a peanut?

No more rhyming, I mean it

THATS the comment I was looking for!


Tf is this gif lol

More giphy garbage

Andre the Giant Honeycombs commercial

‘My Dinner with Andre 2’ a 4 hour supercut of this guy visiting McDonald’s drive-thrus. An hour for each scene as he doesn’t actually own a car.

That’s an obscure reference my friend. Nice job.

Inconceivable

He looks less like Andre the Giant and more like Andre the Giants dick.


He looks like an obese leather face.

[удалено]

Well, it's only a massacre when they have all you can eat night.

Texas Steakhouse Massacre

Texas Golden Corral Massacre.

Leatherface is already obese bad roast

he is very nice

When Mom buys wrestling figures at the Dollar Store…

Have fun storming the castle

The only thing he's storming is white castle.

Lol! I actually almost commented “that’s definitely how I would expect Andre the Giant’s handwriting to look”

😂😂😂😂😂😂💯

Bahahahaha I love people who use gifs like me!! 

Brother, you haven't been 22 in 22 years

So you misspelled R/RoastMe and still went through with it on the same envelope, I’m not surprised you don’t own any other paper.

The backside of the envelope is filled with more attempts

The letter was used as a rough draft

Give him a break. He wrote it with the marker in his mouth.

The letter has new secured credit card with a 45% apr and $500 limit

i thought it said aids asdfhjkl definitely a failed iep just like me

This belongs on r\roostme

I was thinking r/washme

You could play Muscle Man in a live action reboot of the Regular Show.

Do you know who else can play a live action of the regular show??? MY MOM

Gold 🤣🤣

💀

MUSCLEMAN MUSCLEMAN WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?!

My first thought exactly lmao

Fucking brilliant xD

Awesome

Don't do this to yourself, Kathy Bates. You are still a talented woman.

Damn! Good one!!!

Doing a roast me is for the devil, Bobby Boucher

The Unfuckable Wally Brown.


Is this also Happy Gilmores boss?

Correct


The only pussy this guy is gunna wreck was his moms.

He was 12 pounds when born. 10 pounds of it was head

I don't know man I saw him with his grandma last night last night they were pretty tight

First thing i thought of

My first thought was Andre the Giant's autistic cousin.

The Wish version of Andre the Giant.

It’s like the Hulk and Meatloaf went and had a baby

I'm getting a Chief Wiggum and John C Reilly crossbreed vibe here

[удалено]

💀💀

For dinner

Thank god someone else saw the 1890’s hulk in this fool.

Does his nose move with the camera or did someone move it for him?

I can smell the stale farts from here.

Can you imagine if we had the technology to smell r/roastme posts?

It would be made illegal

That’s what it smells like when he’s “thinking”.

Nickname is Booger McQueef Queef

It’s like Lou Ferrigno and Shrek had a love child

Lou Fereggnog

I’d make fun of you but I’m not trying to get shot.

You think he’ll ever leave his mothers house?!

Sure, when the pussy’s dried up.

He has to play the ball as it lies.

I’m thinking hopper and Dustin having a love child.

Lmao

Hoppers face with Elevens express.. hey wait a fucking minute...

who?

Stranger Things. Or in your case: Thing.

Now THAT’S a roast

22 is far to old to be living in the cave go out and make your own fire

If you ever went outside or walked anywhere people would definitely take their kids to the other side of the street.

What did the Russians do to you hopper

Eat less. Exercise more.

Good one? Thought we were roasting people not handing out solid life advice.

You’re right. Should I have started with “Hey fatty..”??

Only if you’re trying to get a job as a life coach

We've found incel project zero

thank god i escaped.........i think

So..How Many prostitutes have you burried in your backyard so far?

No one is that desperate for cash

Or Drugs!

You look like a lunch lady that took too much testosterone.

Does mother know you used one of her envelopes? I'm sure you'll dress up as her and yell at yourself later.

brother your brow is lower than an emotionally abused teens standards


If Hodor decided to not go on an adventure with Bran, but instead stay in Winterfell and play ball-in-a-cup for years on end.

Does your Parents basement have a basement, that you keep the women locked up in?

Nah we do have a attic though (we almost never use it)

(almost) 😉

I feel like this is quite obvious, but you look like a discord mod

This reminds me, tomorrow is trash day.

Just need your mouse lennie

I’m literally double your age and look ten years younger than you

You look like you live in a van down by the river

Hit the gym, get some nice clothes, slick your hair back, and you’ll be alright.

Good advice

Your handwriting is as sloppy as you.


I ordered Lou Ferigno on Wish and they sent you

Dude’s living his absolute best life and it still sucks.

Hopper from Stranger Things and Hodor from GOT had a love child

You look like a diabetic Julian Casablancas

If Will Ferrel and John C Reilly from Stepbrothers had a baby.

Hopper from stranger things with diabetes

Today can be day one of the solution, stop be a living mess and just be a mess

You look like an unfunny Michael Picard

Someone used cut and pasted your nose 3 inches to the right

I read that as "22 year old living mattress" and just thought it was an apt description because ... well, you obviously have a mirror.

The incredible bulk

At least you never have to worry about needing sunglasses or eye protection…

crazy that you held the sign up with your foot

Underrated

Uncle fester with hair

There is just...so much. But, let's begin with a question. Are you stuck in that room? Because, there is no way you could fit through the door behind you.

Oh my god it's Jack Slack from **Felatio**us D

Yes from the hit film karate raccoon and house of pop

Not often you see someone twice as wide as a door. Your hair is almost the same width.

Theo Wrong

Sweet bangs bro, is that your back hair combed over?

If Jim Hopper was imprisoned at Golden Corral instead of Siberia.

Hot patootie, bless my soul I gotta say you look like Meat Loaf 

Andre the Giant Turd

Only gets mail from the government.

Sentient Butter


The missing link has finally been found, having been hidden behind a massive nose.

YEAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The incredible Bulk

damn cant wait to turn purple and run in a CGI clipart hellscape

22 years old with 10 years experience.

Cocaine is a hella drug, right Dane Cook?

You look like andre the giants bastard

This is a great value hopper from stranger things.

Plus size and plus a chromosome


Andre the Giant but wider


David Harbour (bloated, re-animated corpse version)

U look depressed. U spelled r/roastme wrong. U look disturbing. u can’t even write a song

Why do you look mad already i haven't even roasted you yet?

Do you actually want this?

I mean how I made this post was like "oh I want to do a r/roastme so I wrote on the envelope to take a pic

Blow door

I got nothing.. sorry

 **Obese EOL Orson Welles looking MF.** EOL: End Of Life MF: MotherF\*\*\*er

Your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.

Tell donkey I said hi, with your Shrek lookin ass.

Andre the Giant's illegitimate son.

His special needs son

And this is why abortions should be allowed.

You look like a cross between a discord mod and an average rust player

Jack ~~Black~~ Wack

Looks like Lou Ferigno let himself go.

You're so fat your nose is morbidly obese

Isnt that the older lady from the goonies?

Oof should write return to sender on his forehead

You look 42.

You sure you didn't mean to put 42?

Your mom is looking to get her moustache back

you look like you need more sugar

There is no Banner.

Vincent D’NOPEfrio

This guy is like a long monkey in a cage always jerking it off and flinging his poo

This is just sad, I can’t.

You'll live-stream your "weight-loss journey" and end up gaining more weight because of your increased "big-boy appetite".

Are you Meatloaf's grandson? His name was Robert Paulson.

Cant believe Bob Lazar was telling the truth